Runaway

****

I’d had the entire day to simmer in my misery, so by the time I sat across from Megs at Ruby’s Diner, I was a vibrating stress-ball of angst. We’d made small talk all the way there, walking out the pier to the restaurant. She almost had me convinced by the time we had drinks in front of us and were looking over the menus.

Then, as she stared over the menu, her voice came across the table loud and clear, “It was your name.”

My eyes snapped to her face, expecting to see anger but saw...a smirk? “I know you two are fucking, Violet.”

I swear my heart actually stopped beating. Before it started thundering a million miles an hour. I broke out in a sweat as my mouth went dry. So this is what a panic attack feels like. My eyes flicked up to meet hers before hers dropped again to the menu, “The burgers here are great, but really everything’s good.”

What?!? What kind of fucked up game was she playing?? Pure terror raced through my veins at the worst possibilities. She knew, she’d tell everyone, they’d all hate me, maybe she brought me here to lure me out to the deck and push me over….

“Meaghan, I--” I stuttered, having no idea what I’d say next, when she put down the menu and genuinely smiled at me. Everything I was about to say vanished at that simple action. I cocked a brow at her and wondered why the hell she was smiling at me. Why wasn’t she throwing water in my face? Why wasn’t she yelling at me? I slept with her husband. She should be plotting my murder right now.

The smile changed back to a smirk and my mind raced, trying to figure out whatever the fuck was going on. She gave me a coy look, like she was about to say something purely naughty and was totally owning it, “How is it? He’s great in bed, isn’t he? I’ve got to give him that. Just big enough, a little rough without being overbearing. Wouldn’t ya say?” Her eyes narrowed for a fraction of a second before going back to her gossip girl look. Her voice dripped with sarcastic revenge.

My shoulders slumped and I stared at my hands in front of me on the table. I totally deserved this, so the only thing I could do was steel myself for the tornado of a woman scorned headed my way, “Yes. He’s all those things.” I mumbled, my cheeks heating. I felt like she was about to brand me with the scarlet letter, for the whole town to see.

“I should have seen it coming,” Meaghan’s voice lightened a little as she sighed heavily and I continued to wonder where she was going with this. I raised only my eyes, peeking at her sheepishly from under my lashes, waiting for her to explain the comment, “There’s always been sparkingly obvious chemistry between the two of you.”

She had me there.

“Violet, hon, it’s okay.” She clasped my hands in hers and gave them a light squeeze before letting go. My jaw hit the floor as I raised my head to stare at her, “C’mon, I had to torture you about it--you have to admit you deserve that much--but I’m really okay. Zack explained that I shouldn’t blame you and I agree. I get that you were trying to protect me after we’d become friends...and lord knows how convincing those green eyes are.” She lifted both her eyebrows and shook her head, making me laugh lightly at the eyes comment, “But, honestly, I’m glad it’s you.”
“You are?” Dumbfounded didn’t begin to describe it. She had done a complete 180 and was back to being her sweet, bubbly self.
“Yeah. You’re not looking for anything serious, and he finally told me about his inability to love thing--which in itself explained so many things--so you’re kind of perfect for one another, right?”

I cleared my throat. How was I supposed to answer that? “Uh, yeah. I guess so.” I took a sip of my beer and gave her an odd look, “So, did you, uh, ever have any clue about...that?”

“Looking back at it, I really should have. All the pieces are falling together. His dad had to raise him alone because his mom skipped out when he was only two. He has zero memories of her, and never knew his dad that well because he had to work all the time to support them. The guys became his family in a way that’s unlike the other guys in the band. His grandparents weren’t alive, he didn’t have aunts and uncles. So he had little family and, now that I think about it, zero maternal influences. It seems like he trusts men much more than he does women, I guess.”

My anger at Zack came back and I attempted to hide it. He could have texted, Facebook messaged, called, Twittered--anything to let me know that she knew. Or how much she knew. I wasn’t about to admit I was angry he had slept with her. Given our situation, I had no right.

“Does he have multiples with you?”

I almost spit out my beer when she brought up his talents in bed, “What? I mean….yeah. ” I squirmed in my seat. Talk about weird.

“You’re probably a much better match for him in the bedroom than I ever was. Anyone can tell just by looking at you two that you guys probably go for round after round, take a break and go again, right?”

My jaw dropped and she laughed at me. Was she really saying this stuff? I must be hearing things. But there she was, waiting for me to answer, clearly enjoying herself at making me uncomfortable.

“Something like that, yes.” I sheepishly folded into myself, biting my fingernails. I forced myself to look at her and her kind eyes put me slightly at ease.
“C’mon, I told you I don’t care.” She laughed her cute little mousy laugh, but she still looked at me like she expected an actual answer.
I grinned wide, blurting out as I flushed with embarrassment, “What do you want me to say, Megs? That he fucks like a stallion? That we fuck all damn day long? That he makes me see fucking stars?"

Megs threw her head back and laughed out loud, nodding as if to say “touche” and changed the subject, “So what’s it like?” She leaned forward, about to ask an intimate question that apparently should be said in a whispered voice, “Just...sleeping with whoever you want whenever you want and not caring about any of them? Don’t you think you’ll catch feelings eventually?”

My eyes widened at the statement, since she was right. I had definitely caught feelings for someone. Her ex-someone. But I was busy trying to smash those with a tire iron, partly because he couldn’t love me back if I did ever fall for him and partly because I was very pissed at him at the moment.

I shrugged, “The relationship I was in just drained me of all ability to give a shit. I might care, I might even catch feelings, but if I do I’ll just make sure nothing ever gets serious. Right now it’s all just fun-as-hell sex and I’m having the time of my life.”

“Aren’t you worried about getting something, or going home with the wrong guy?”

Part of me had to wonder if she was asking for a more personal reason than she was admitting, “I got an IUD a few weeks back, use protection. There are a ton of indicators about guys that would give the wrong one away, if you don’t drink too much and pay attention. Although that’s another reason I probably take more girls home than guys. Less dangerous situations. But that’s what’s great about having guys like Ben and Zack around. Zero expectations other than a great time in the sack, and they’re not strangers.”

I couldn’t help but let the anger lessen, thinking of Zack on top of me, inside me. Those plush lips on mine, kissing down my body…..
I shook myself to snap out of it, wondering how the fuck I was going to wait an entire month and a fucking half until he was home again. The bastard.

“So, what’s it like being with a woman? I can’t imagine replacing that feel of man over you,” She said the last part with such uncharacteristic lust that I actually giggled.

“Well, that’s why I love both.” I grinned wide, “I’ve never been really in charge when it comes to a man in bed, but I often am with women. It’s fun. Different. Having their pleasure in your hands. It’s nice.”

“I guess so...I know I mentioned...some of the things Zack likes in bed that time you came over to make me feel better after Zack cheated on me,” There we go. An indicator that she didn’t know that it had been me, “But….he, like...really likes being dominated in the sack. I did it to please him, but it always made me uncomfortable. I’m not sure if it’s just me or the idea that a man would like that, but...it wasn’t fun.”

I lifted my shoulders and hands, “Everyone’s allowed to like what they like in bed, ya know, unless it actually harms someone. Well, someone that doesn’t want to be harmed,” I clarified and smiled, “Yeah, he told me. We haven’t, ya know, done that...but I’m open to just about anything.”
She chortled at clinked my glass, “Yeah, I can see you as the dominatrix type, and I’m sure you take that as the compliment I mean it as.”

I took it as even more of a compliment than I probably should have and grinned wide, basking in the idea that I came across that way, “Thanks. We’ll see, I guess.” My body began to heat just at the thought of dominating Zack. Maybe I could surprise him the night he got home. He’d be expecting hot and fast “get over here right now I haven’t seen you in a month and a half” sex, he’d never see it coming. Realizing how inappropriate my thoughts were getting, I tried to think of anything to ask her as a waitress finally headed our way.

We ordered and I cleared my throat again, “So did you ever get jealous of his relationship with the guys? He seems to be extra close to Brian.”

Megs laughed, “Close does not begin to describe it. And yeah, a little bit. I couldn’t help it. But you have to realize they have been together for more than two decades. They have their own jokes, their own language. It takes awhile to get used to. They can have entire conversations and you’ll have no idea what they’re talking about. And their ability to spend so much time together….it borders on weird. They’ll come home from tour, spending every waking moment together, and still insist on hanging out a couple of days later.” She laughed, “But it’s also a little endearing. We all tease Brian and Zack for how close they are, but it’s good for them. Especially Zack, apparently.” She sighed, rolling her eyes at the memories, “We would get in fights about the fact that he tells Syn literally everything. Like, I don’t need Brian knowing intimate details about how we are in bed, ya know?”

I giggled with her, fighting the knee jerk reaction to bring up the fact that she had done the same with us girls. Then the giggles turned to nervous laughter when I remembered my revelations from the hospital. Realizing it was something I could now share with her, I let my expression drop.
“Oh my god. The guys all know, don’t they? Whatever we’ve done together, he’s probably told them?”

Meaghan gave a sad smile and nodded, “Sorry sister. But yeah, most likely. Brian at the very least. Even if you ask him not to, he’ll just shrug it off and say something about the fact that they’re best friends.”
“Dammit.” I muttered, scrunching my face, “At least I happen to know that Matt’s a flash in the pan and Brian has a filthy mouth.”

That made us both erupt in a fit of giggles and I realized I was actually having a good time, finally being pardoned by the one judge I had been waiting for.

***Z’s POV***

I attempted to appear like I was reading as the guys razzed Syn for being so emotional over leaving his wife and newborn. We’d just gotten back on the road and I already knew I wouldn’t be able to stay mad at the guy. Damned if I wasn’t going to try, though.

Matt slapped my shoulder, grinning wide, “Why you so quiet, Zacky? You either defend your man to the death or torture him with us, usually.”

I sighed deeply to make it very obvious just how annoyed I was, followed by a death look up at Shadz.
Johnny cackled, “Okay, Vengeance clearly needs a tampon. What gives, dude?”
Leave it to my best friends to not let this go.

“He’s mad because he fucked up last night with Violet.” Brian stuck his tongue in his cheek as he gave me a look that made me watch to punch him in the dick.

“Me?I messed up? I didn’t get laid last night thank to your big mouth.”
Gates’ sarcastic look faded, “She deserved to know, Zack. Anyone can see that this is about to get more serious than either of you are admitting. Best she find out now.”

“Woah, woah,” Matt folded his arms and looked at Syn, “Don’t tell me Violet already knows….I mean, not even his wives knew about that.”

Brian only shrugged.

“Dude. Not cool. Gotta side with Vengeance on this one,” Matt gave my best friend a flat look.
“Hey, he showed up--with her--at the hospital, while we happened to be leaving. It’s like you wanted to get caught, man!” He looked at me and then back at Shads, “Michelle was pissed. They came over and we had it out. Vi insisted she likes Zack for who he is and not because he’s Vengeance, so I figured she should know exactly what she was claiming. Then this guy fucking punched me!” Brian pointed at his own mug where I had clocked him.

“Sounds like you had it coming, dude!” Shadz quipped and I pointed at him as if to tell the bastard see?

Syn narrowed his eyes at me, “Honestly, given what we know about her, I didn’t think she’d really care that much.”

“Well, she didn’t really, but...now we’re...I don’t even know! And because she turned me down last night, I was all worked up, slept with my wife, said Violet's name when I came, now Meaghan knows everything! All thanks to you!!”

After a shocked silence filled the bus, this flew them all into cackle fits, practically rolling on the floor at my expense as I pouted like a child. I knew it was my own fault, but it felt good to lay it on Brian.

“Meaghan knows!? How are you or Violet still alive, dude?!?” Brooks recovered and finally sat down across the room. The rest of them settled to hear my answer.

“Well, honestly, she doesn’t actually know everything. She knows I’m sleeping with her now, but doesn’t know how far back it goes. Megs was totally cool about it. All things considered, I’m a pretty lucky bastard,” I innocently grinned wide at Brian, “I just had to give Syn some shit.”

“I’d say. After what Violet found out, she seems okay, Megs knows and approves. So you’re a single dude with guaranteed ass at home, while still getting to fuck whoever you want on the road,” Gates scrunched his brows and gave me the finger.

I just rolled my eyes and laughed back, “Whatever.”

*****

Notes

Larisa helped me SO MUCH w/ the Megs convo. It was a sloppy mess! haha, she helped me organize and improve it a lot!!! Thanks!!

So, a clue or two about ZV's "issue".

So I guess the question is now, how will the OTHER girls react?