Noah bonds with Meatball until dinner is ready. As I prepare his plate and he sits down at the rarely used dining room table, someone rings the doorbell and Meatball begins to bark.

“Look, Zack! Meatball is already protecting his turf!”

“His ‘turf’, huh?” I chuckle, setting his plate in front of him. “Eat your food, I’ll be right back, okay?”

Noah doesn’t answer as I walk off and head to the front door. When I open it, I'm surprised to see Sheridan standing there, looking more upset and exhausted than she did earlier.

“Hey,” I furrow my brows, looking down at my watch. “Did I misunderstand the plan? I thought I was dropping him off at six?”

Sheridan shakes her head. “What? Oh, sorry. I must’ve…no, you’re right.”

My brows pull even closer together. “Sheridan, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she waves a dismissive hand at me. “Um, I can come back.”

I don’t believe her but I don’t want to press the subject further. Not yet anyway “No, stay,” I reply. “I have something to talk to you about anyway.”

Sheridan nods. “Okay.”

This is when I should invite her in but I don’t want to. I know she’s going to be angry with me for telling Noah our secret and I don’t want Noah to see that. “Um, okay, so, you know how Noah had a question for me that he didn’t want you to know?” Well, I guess he heard you and Tobias arguing and well, he put two and two together. So…he asked me about his parentage….and I mean, I told him the truth, you know? I didn’t know what else to do. I tried distracting him because you…”

“Wait, you told him? We were supposed to do that together! What didn’t you call me?” She asks me, clearly pissed.

“As I was saying,” I start, pushing my own feelings of being annoyed to the back of my mind, “I did call you. You didn’t answer. I even left you a voicemail.”

“No, you didn’t. My phone has been…” She stops as she pulls her phone out of her purse. “Oh, God. Zack…” I watch her as she flips her phone off of silent and then as she covers her face with her hands. As she drags them down her face, she looks like she’s about to cry. Sheridan walks over to the porch swing Noah sat in hours ago. “Well, is he at least okay? How did he take it? How did you explain it to him?”

“I explained it badly,” I tell her honestly, sitting next to her on the bench. “But he took it…okay. He, uh, he wanted to go home at first, which was completely understandable, but then Brian came over with his dog and Matt brought his kids over. After that, he seemed a little better – a lot better, actually.”

Sheridan wipes her eyes and sniffles. “That’s good. I’m so sorry I didn’t answer.”

I shake my head. “Sheridan, it’s fine, really.”

She hesitates before replying. “I should go talk to him about it.” I silently agree, stand up and offer her my hand. She takes it reluctantly and follows me into the house.

“Momma!” Noah exclaims, jumping out of the chair and running into her arms. She takes him excitedly, hugging him so tight he says, “Mom – can’t – breathe!”

“Sorry, baby,” she replies, releasing him. “Did you have fun today?”

“Yeah! Zack got me a dog! Meatball! C’mere, boy!”

Sheridan turns towards me and I gave her a nervous smile. “Yeah, there’s that too.”

“You got him a dog?” She asks with disbelief as Meatball gets off his bed and makes his way over to us.

“Well, he really liked Brian’s dog. I, uh, I told him that Meatball had to stay here, though.”

Noah is scratching Meatball behind his ears. “He’s a good dog, mom. He plays and everything. He didn’t have a family – you can’t send him back.”

Sheridan smiles and pats Meatball on the top of his head. “Alright. Go finish your dinner, Noah.”

As Noah returns to the table, I begin to explain my reasoning for getting Meatball. “Matt told me I should. It’s his fault, really. You should blame him.”

Sheridan laughs. “It’s fine, Zack, really. Maybe he’ll give me a break on giving him a sibling now.”

“Oh, not ready for kid number two?” I ask, forcing a smile. It feels wrong to think of Sheridan having Tobias’ kid.

She shakes her head. “Oh! Hey, since he knows about you now, you can give him a sibling!”

I laugh. “I just found out about kid number one. Now you’re pressuring me about kid number two?”

She grins. “Alright, fine. The dog will do…for now.”

“Alright. We can flip a coin later to see who has to give him a sibling,” I grin back.

“Deal,” Sheridan chuckles. “I, uh, I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner with Noah. Go ahead – I can hang out here and get acquainted with Meatball.”

“Well, are you hungry? There's plenty of food.”

Sheridan hesitates before replying. “Yeah,” she says. “Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve eaten all day.”

“Come on, then.”

Noah seems excited that his mom is joining us for dinner. He talks nonstop about Meatball as Sheridan and I get situated – Noah sits at the head of the table as I sit on his left and his mother sits on his right. Once Noah pipes down a bit, Sheridan clears her throat. When she glances at me, I know what's coming and straighten up in my chair.

“Noah,” she starts calmy, “we need to talk about the secret question you asked Zack today.”

Noah doesn't answer her for a second then he quietly says, “Okay.”

“Do you have any questions about what he told you?” She asks. Noah only shrugs. Sheridan waits for him to say something but he doesn’t. I glance over at her, trying to catch her eyes nut she's only looking at our son. “Do you understand what he meant when he told you he was your real dad?”

Noah shrugs, but Sheridan waits patiently for him to reply. Eventually, he does. “Why is Zack my real dad when I just met him? And I’ve known my dad for as long as I can remember!”

“I know it’s confusing, love. See, I didn’t tell…” Sheridan starts, but I gently interrupt her. I don’t want Sheridan to make herself the bad guy here.

“Do you remember when I told you that I went away for a little while? Your mom didn’t get the chance to tell me about you before I left, so I didn’t know until the next time we talked,” I tell him.

Sheridan gives me a soft smile before continuing, “So, while Zack was gone, Tobias stepped up to help take care of you. He is still your dad and he still loves you more than anything in the world.”

“But he’s not my bio-lotch-ical dad?”

Sheridan takes a deep breath. “He’s what you call a step-dad. See, the word dad is still in there. So, you just have two dads.”

“Noah, I don’t want to mess up the relationship you have with Tobias, okay? I want to hang out with you and help take care of you now, but Tobias will still be there for you. And, if you’re not ready to have two dads yet, that’s okay. I would never force you to hang out with me, okay? I just want you to be happy.”

Noah is, once again, silent. After a moment of, what I assume is deep thought, Noah speaks up. “No, I’m okay,” he says, suddenly nonchalant. “Nikki in my class has two dads and she’s really cool.”

Sheridan looks slightly surprised at Noah's answer and I must admit, I am too. “Are you sure, Noah? It’s okay to be upset or confused.”

He shrugs. “I’m sure,” he smiles. “Plus, Zack said he would teach me how to play guitar.”

Sheridan smiles at me, “Oh, he did, huh?”

“Yeah!” Noah exclaims before I can answer, “He’s really good, too!”

Sheridan is smirking at me now. “Oh, he is?”

I wink at her as Noah replies. “He has, like, a bunch of awards!”

“Wow,” she says. “I guess he’ll be a good teacher then.”

Noah yawns. “Yep. I’m done. Can I play with Meatball before we leave?”

“Yeah, bud. But we’re going to get going soon, okay? You have school in the morning.”

“Okay,” Noah says, jumping out of the chair and running out of the room.

“Well,” I say, watching him leave, “that went well, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” Sheridan replies. “He took it so well.”

I smile. “I guess it’s a good thing Nikki from school has two dads, huh?”

Sheridan smile. “Yeah, but Nikki has two dads because shes adopted and her dads are gay. But, hey, whatever works, right?”

“True,” I tell her. “So, does his school require payment or anything for admission? Because, I want to be there for you, one-hundred percent. So, if there’s anything I can do…”

Sheridan shakes her head. “It’s only pre-K, so no. Tobias wants to put him in private school when he gets a little older, though. Noah is so smart, Zack. It baffles me sometimes.”

“I’m not surprised. If I remember correctly, his mother was supposed to go to Harvard or something.”

She scoffs, smiling. “That was before my dad died…before everything…God, it feels like another life.”

“I, uh…I saw they found Eli’s murderer a few years ago,” I tell her looking down, knowing I was opening a wound.

I was on tour when I heard the news story. A woman my age that lived a few towns over had killed herself and her suicide was all over the news due to the note. In her note, she confessed to killing her rapist, hoping it would also kill the demons that she haunted her ever since the night she was raped. It was something out of a movie. After killing Eli, though, the demons just got worse and eventually, she couldn’t live with them anymore.

“Yeah,” Sheridan says. “Her name was Sara. I, uh, I went to her funeral. I just had Noah and…I guess I needed to go thank her. If she hadn’t done what she had done, I think I would still be running from him, I wouldn’t have had the most beautiful baby boy in my arms. You know I had a blog while I was on the run? I actually spoke to Sara on the blog – I didn’t know it at the time but…she confessed the murder to me. It sounds…morbid but…I can’t say that I didn’t wish him dead every single day. So, when she told me…I don’t know. So, I went to the funeral and spoke to her parents. Of course, they knew who I was because of all the ‘insane sister’ bullshit Eli pulled, that kept being brought up even after his death. I just told them how sorry I was and how brave she must’ve been. I don’t know…I just wanted to give them some comfort because that’s what their daughter gave me…”

“Wow,” I state. “That’s…”

“Crazy?” she sighs.

I shake my head. “No, not at all. Eli was a monster.”

Sheridan takes a deep breath. “Yeah, anyway…what, uh, what happened between you and Gena?”

“I guess I deserve that since I brought up Eli,” I tell her, smiling.

“Sorry,” she smiles back.

“No, it’s fine. Uh…actually, you’ll never believe what ultimately ended our marriage.”

She raises her brow. “Did you turn gay on me?”

I laugh. “No, no…um, actually, I was ready to settle down and have kids. She wasn’t.”

Sheridan raises her brows. “Oh, wow, Zack. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be. It’s not your fault.”

Sheridan hesitates. “Well, I mean…if I would have told you about Noah, do you think that would have saved your marriage?”

“No. I mean, like I said…that was what ultimately ended out marriage but…well, everyone knows Gena and I weren’t meant to be together. I mean, hell, I was technically engaged to you when I married her.”

I’m not sure what Sheridan was expecting me to say, but it sure as hell wasn’t that. Hell, I didn’t even know I was going to say it until it was already falling from my lips.

“I, uh…I kind of thought you were too drunk that night to remember any of that,” she says, glancing at me.

I shake my head. “No…I definitely remember how much of a fucking asshole I was that night. I’m…so sorry, for all of that. Really. I, uh, I went there with good intentions. I…went there to tell you how much I loved you and that I knew I was marrying the wrong person. But…then I woke up and…anyway, I’m so fucking sorry.”

Sheridan is fidgeting with her engagement ring. What I want her to say is ‘I think I’m marrying the wrong person, too.’

What I want her to say is, ‘I don’t want to make the same mistake you did’.

What she actually says is, “It’s fine, Zack. I mean…we got Noah from that night, so…I can’t really be mad.”

I nod. “Yeah, he’s a great kid.”

“Yeah, he is,” she agrees.

Neither of us is eating anymore. I know she has to leave soon, but I don’t want her to. She’s upset about something, and has been all day – I want to know what about, I need to make sure she’s okay.

“Tobias seems like a great guy, too,” I tell her, hoping she doesn’t notice my distaste for him.

She nods. “He’s really great. He’s amazing with Noah and takes care of us. He works hard for everything we have. The traveling sucks, but…” she shrugs. “The guy I dated before him also traveled a lot.”

I smile, nodding. “So you should be used to it, then.”

“Should be,” Sheridan says.

“So, uh…I guess me coming back in your life has caused problems between the two of you? That’s why you’ve been arguing a lot?”

Sheridan hesitates. “It’s not…as simple as that but, yeah, I guess so. I mean, the wedding is in a week so everyone is stressed anyway. Things will calm down after the wedding.”

“Wow, a week?” I ask, suddenly feeling sweat pool in my palms. I rub them anxiously on my jeans. “That’s uh…that’s…great.”

If Sheridan notices my change in demeanor, she doesn’t say anything. “Yeah. I’m just ready for it to be here. Noah looks so cute in his little tux. I’ll have to send you some pictures.”

I nod. “Yeah,” I swallow hard. The image of Sheridan marrying Tobias burns into my skull. Is this how she felt when I was marrying Gena?

It’s silent for a moment, then Sheridan stands. “I should get going. Tobias is probably wondering where I am and I have to get Noah home and ready for bed.”

“Yeah, I’ll walk you out,” I tell her, trying to think of anything else but the upcoming wedding.

When we walk silently out of the room and join Noah and Meatball in the living room, we immediately see Noah laying on Meatball’s bed, sleeping beside the dog. Noah has his arm draped over Meatball’s middle, and their breathing is synchronized.

“I can’t believe you’re already spoiling him with a dog and guitar playing,” Sheridan smiles at me before making her way over to the two.

“I have five years to make up for,” I tell her as she bends down and gently nudges him awake.

“Come on, baby. It’s time to go home,” she tells him quietly.

I hear Noah mumble something about Meatball before giving him a tight hug and several kisses on the top of his head.

“I’ll take good care of him until you come visit him again, okay?” I reassure Noah, who is standing, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“Okay.” He says. “Bye Meatball. I love you. Don’t forget me while I’m gone, okay?”

Sheridan pouts before ruffling Noah’s hair. “He won’t bud. You’ll come back to Zack's soon.”

“Okay,” Noah says.

“Thanks for dinner, Zack. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

I nod. “Not a problem. Let me know if you need anything.”

Noah approaches me and I kneel down in front of him. To my surprise, he hugs me and I wonder if I’ll ever get used to how small he feels in my arms. “Thanks for getting me Meatball,” he tells me. “Bye, Zack…I mean, dad.”

My heart flutters and goes into overdrive at that small word. I wasn’t expecting it and even second guess that I heard it but I know I did. Sheridan looks just as surprised as I am, but smiles down at us with a huge grin.

“You’re welcome. Bye, son,” I tell him, holding on to him for an extra few seconds before letting go.

Notes

hey guys! sorry for missing an update last week, but here we are. I hope you guys enjoyed it! Also, if you read Secret and Lies and/or My Sweet Medusa, I'm hoping to get those updated in the next week or two, as soon as i can find some time to sit down and write.

Thank you to Kimmie and overneaththepathofmisery for commenting.

Title credit: Atreyu "House of Gold"