Despite Tobias’ little remark about Noah being our son in front of Zack, the party – and Noah’s first time meeting Zack – is a success. After his remark, I don’t speak to Tobias for the remainder of the party. Instead, I keep busy and Zack and I discuss a schedule for Noah. Neither one of use want Noah to feel pressured to hang out and get to know Zack; we want their relationship to grow more naturally like a father-son relationship should. On the way home from the party, however, I realize that isn’t going to be a problem at all. Noah can’t keep talking about the man with the Mickey Mouse tattoo and blabs about him the entire drive.

“It was super cool but kind of scary,” he tells me from the back seat.

I watch his smile through the rearview mirror. “Yeah, most of the best things in life are, bud,” I tell him.

“How come you and dad don’t have any tattoos?” Noah asks.

“Well, baby, I do have one on my arm.”

“Yeah, but I mean why don’t you have more?” He presses dramatically.

I shrug. “I don’t know. What do you think I should get?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “Maybe you can ask Zack! He has lots of ideas and I don’t think he can fit anymore on his arms…”

I laugh. “Well, maybe I’ll ask him when I see him again, okay?”

“Okay,” he says, completely content with my answer.

When we get home, Tobias is sitting on the steps of our porch waiting for us. I don’t speak to him as Noah unbuckles himself from his seat and grabs some of his new toys out of the car. I grab some of the other bags and head inside as Tobias sighs behind me.

“Noah, go play with your new toys in your room, please,” I tell him but he’s already heading that way.

Tobias waits until Noah is in his room before he speaks. “Sheridan, I’m sorry, okay?”

I shake my head as I walk into the kitchen. Tobias follows me and watches as I start to put away the leftover food, drinks, and cake. “Tobias, I really don’t want to talk to you right now.”

“Come on, I said I was sorry.”
“I don’t care, Tobias,” I tell him, “You knew how important it was to me that this went smoothly and that Zack felt included.”

“And he did feel included,” Tobias says. “Look, me saying that Noah was our son didn’t ruin his time. Also, it’s not a like Noah isn’t our son, Sheridan. Seriously, you can’t be mad at me for calling Noah my son.”

“I’m not mad at you for calling Noah your son, Tobias. He is your son, but you said it just to upset Zack,” I reply.

Tobias sighs. “You’re right.”

“And I’m not okay with you using Noah like that. As a matter of fact, if you ever use your relationship with Noah to upset anyone again I’ll…” I trail off, biting the inside of my cheek before I say something I regret.

“You’ll what?” Tobias scoffs. I don’t reply. “Seriously, Sheridan, you’ll what?”

I shake my head. “Just forget it.”

“No, I won’t,” Tobias says. “You’re talking about leaving me now?”

“What?” I ask. “No, Tobias. Jesus. But you can’t just use Noah to make Zack feel like shit.”

“You’ve got to stop thinking that me you and Zack are going to be this big ass happy family for Noah!”

“You haven’t even tried!” I yell. “You just automatically assume Zack is your enemy and he’s not. He just wants to be a father to Noah, just like you!”

“You mean like you assumed he was your enemy? Sheridan, you thought he was going to take Noah away from you! Now you want me to let Noah just hang around him?”

“Yes,” I answer sharply. “Noah shouldn’t have to suffer because of my mistakes. I thought the worst of Zack and that’s my fault. I chose not to tell Zack about Noah and that’s my fault. He need his dad.”

“He has a dad!” Tobias presses.

I sigh, staring at Tobias. “You’re right, he does but…he needs his biological dad, too and Zack is his biological dad.”

Tobias doesn’t look at me. “Yeah, you’re right,” he replies.

“Tobias…” I reach for him, but he doesn’t turn to me. “T, what’s going on? You were so supportive of Noah getting to know Zack.”

“Yeah, I know! And then…fuck. I saw the two of you together with Noah and…” he trails off.

“And what?” I ask.

Tobias shakes his head. “I don’t know, Sheridan. I hate seeing you with him. I hate seeing him with Noah. I hate seeing my future wife and Zack with their fucking love child!”

“Love child?” I scoff. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but I can’t talk to you like this. I’m just going to go take a shower.”

I wait for Tobias to reply, to take back what he said but he doesn’t. I walk out of the kitchen, running my hand through my hair. I think about checking in on Noah but decide it can wait until I get out of the shower before heading to mine and Tobias’ room.

As I shower, I try to see Tobias’ point of view on things. Of course, I understand how he feels when it comes to sharing Noah. One of the reasons why I didn’t tell Zack about him in the beginning was because I didn’t want Noah calling Gena ‘mom’. But this was different – Zack has a right to Noah. He’s his biological father and he wants to be in Noah’s life – I can’t keep Noah from him any longer, even if it does hurt Tobias. Though, I don’t want that either.

I knew this was going to be complicated but fuck.

I’m tempted to stay in the shower for the rest of the night, but responsibilities nag me until I pull myself out and wrap a towel around my chest. The foggy mirror catches my eyes and I grin at the message written on it in Tobias’ handwriting.

I’m sorry. I love you.

I walk out of the bathroom to see Tobias sitting on the bed, waiting for me. He looks defeated but perks up when he sees me.

“Sheridan,” he starts. “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m just…it makes me nervous having him around because I know how much you loved each other. I’m just…worried.”

“About what?” I ask, and he gives me a look. “Oh, Tobias, you can’t be serious. Come on, what Zack and I had was…amazing but that was years ago. I love you now. I love you so fucking much. We’re getting married in less than two weeks and nothing is going to change that.”

“You’re the love of my life, Sheridan. You and Noah are all that I live for. I can’t wait to marry you.

I crawl into his lap, straddling him. “Speaking of which,” I kiss him gently, “when do I get to see you in your suit now that it’s tailored?”

“When I get to see you in your dress,” he smirks.

I pout. “That’s not fair. Those aren’t the rules.”

Tobias shrugs. “They are now.”

I’m about to kiss Tobias again when I hear a small thump coming from another part of the house followed by Noah’s annoyed voice. “Moooooom!”

I sigh, pulling away from him. Tobias smiles, pecking me on the lips. “I’ll go see what he wants. You get dressed.”

“Alright,” I say climbing off his lap. Tobias pecks me again on the lips before heading out of the room and checking on Noah.

---

The next morning, I get up and start my usual routine by getting breakfast ready for my fiancé and son. Tobias is up soon after I am, he groggily kisses my cheeks before heading towards the coffee. He sits down at the island and watches me as I flip the pancakes.

“What?” I ask him, smiling.

He shakes his head. “Nothing. Just wondering how I got such a smokin’ babe to agree to marry me.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “You must’ve done something great in your last life, huh?”

“I guess so,” Tobias says.

I make Tobias a plate and set it down in front of him, then I make Noah a plate and set it down beside Tobias. “I better go wake his sleepy butt up,” I reply as Tobias reaches for the syrup.

I head out of the kitchen and down the hall, when I enter Noah’s room he’s already sitting up in bed. “Well, good morning there, sleepyhead.”

“Mom,” he says as if he’s on a mission. “Can I go over to Zack's today?”

The question catches me off guard. “Uh – well, buddy Zack doesn’t live in Los Angeles.”

“Well, where does he live?”

“In a town called Huntington Beach,” I answer, heading to his closet to find him something to wear.

“How far away is that?”

“Well, you’re just full of questions this morning, aren’t you?”

Noah frowns. “Moooom, please?”

I turn around and stare at him for a moment. He’s no longer sitting on the bed now. Instead, he’s standing beside it, his green eyes begging me. “I’ll call him and see if he has anything planned for the day, okay?”

“Okay,” he replies, but he doesn’t sound happy.

I ruffle his hair before bending down to his level. “You really like Zack, don’t you?”

“I just need to ask him something,” Noah tells me, avoiding my eyes.

This causes me to frown. “Well, what do you need to ask him?”

“It’s a secret,” Noah tells me, and then he looks at me. “I’m hungry. Can we call Zack after breakfast?”

“Maybe, hun. Zack might be sleeping in this morning. Come on, I got your breakfast ready.” Before I can stop him, Noah is running out of the room and towards the kitchen.

Notes

Title credit: Taylor Swift “Don’t Blame Me”