Roman Sky
So Innocent Were The Days, The Taste Of Good Memories
...December 2009
“Okay, I’m sure.” I tell Luna over the phone as I pull up to the address she gave me; Matt’s address. “If he’s not talking to you guys, what makes you think he’ll talk to me? I mean the man kinda hates me.”
“Matt doesn’t hate you.” Luna assures me. “He just hates the fact he can’t hate you. The man is still madly in love with you and is pissed about it. He’ll answer the door to you, trust me. All of us are just really worried about him. Next to Brian, Matt was Jimmy’s best friend. His death is eating the boys alive.”
“I’m sure.” I frown. Jimmy called me about a week ago and I was supposed to hang out with him before heading over to Denmark to ring in the New Year with Michael and the rest of Volbeat. But I cancelled last second for work. I’m now kicking myself in the ass for not hanging out with him. If only I can turn back time… “I’m going to let you go. I’ll text you if Matt let's me in.”
“Thanks for doing this Layla, we had no idea who to call.” With that I hang up on her before killing the engine to my rental and head towards the door.
I know I shouldn’t be here. He doesn’t want to see me; he barely wants to see the people he considers his family. He lost a brother, he doesn’t need me here to open older wounds. But against my better judgement, I find myself pounding on Matt’s front door.
What feels like a century later, he opens up. I instantly smell the whiskey on his breath and coming out his pores. His hazel eyes are bloodshot and his hair is messy; he doesn’t look as put together as I remember him to be.
“What are you doing here Hetfield?” He slurs. Instead of answering his question, I push past his 6’1 frame and into the house.
“How dare you worry your friends like this?” I yell, turning to face him. “You’re not answering your phone to them or answering your door; they’re fucking worried about you. Do you really think they want to lose another friend so fucking soon?”
“Like you fucking care.” He mutters as he slams the front door shut. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself and your boyfriend. How can you fuck and leave me but actually commit yourself to Michael fucking Poulsen? He lives in fucking Denmark and I’m right in your backyard.”
“I’m sorry I did that to you, truly I am.” I apologize to him. “I didn’t intend on hurting you, Matt. I fucked up; that’s on me. I ran away from potentially the best thing to happen to me and it fucking scared me. I may be many things but don’t stand here and tell me I’m selfish and only care about myself and my boyfriend.
“When Luna called me, I was about to board a plane heading to Denmark so I can spend time with my boyfriend. But when she told me how scared she was, I didn’t board that plane. I came right here to make sure she doesn’t lose another friend. Here I am, stuck in the States because there are no more flights heading to Denmark that I won’t be paying an arm and a leg for. I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to you.”
He scoffs, “why should I believe that?”
“Because deep inside of you, you know you’re the one person I can not lie to. I can lie to Luna, the boys, my dad and Lars, Michael; but you know me. You were able to see through my superficial bullshit and talk to me.” I walk closer to him and put a hand on his cheek. “Deep down you know me running away was a vain attempt at not hurting the both of us. You know I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t mean anything to me.”
Without saying anything, Matt pulls me into a backbreaking hug and starts sobbing. Something about seeing him so broken, so damaged is scaring the shit right out of me.
**
My boots and jacket have long since been discarded and I’m sitting in Matt’s living room as we’re watching New Year's Rockin’ Eve while eating pizza and wings and downing beers and shots of Jameson. Sure it was weird to be here with him and not with Michael and the boys; but this is nice. I missed this. I missed Matt.
“It’s so hard to believe he’s not going to be here in the next year.” Matt quietly says. “I always pictured all of us growing old together. I pictured us being the next Metallica and rocking out well into our golden years.”
“My dad isn’t that old.” I chuckle. “But yea, I know what you mean. It’s hard to believe his crazy ass isn’t going to make fun of me each time I see him because my hair is a different color. Or him being jealous because of Lars teaching me how to drum.”
“You guys never did do that battle.” Matt notes.
“I’m sure Jimmy would have kicked my ass.” I chuckle. “He was probably one of the best drummers and person I know. He had a heart of gold.”
“Thanks for being here, Layla.” There is sincerity in Matt’s voice. “It really means a lot. I know you didn’t have to come but I’m glad you did.”
“Lovers come and go, friends are a lifetime.” I tell him. “Despite everything that has happened between the two of us, I’ll always consider you to be my friend. Always.”
He leans over and pulls me into a hug just as the countdown begins. Just as he starts to pull away, the countdown ends. He looks me in the eye and places his lips softly on mine before quickly pulling away. “Happy New Year’s, Layla.”
“Happy New Year’s, Matt.” I smile at him, just as my phone starts to ring. I look down at the caller ID and see Michael’s name pop up. My smile grows even wider as I answer it, “hey baby. Happy New Year’s.” I quickly excuse myself but not before taking the sad look in Matt’s eyes as I do.
“Happy New Year’s..” Michael says breaking me from my trance. “How’s Matt?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.” I reply. “He has a long way to go but he’s fine. He’s fine for someone that just lost their best friend.”
“How are you?”
“I’m getting there.” I tell him. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. I’m putting on a brave face for my friends; that’s all I can do.”
“Will I see you soon?”
“Of course, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” I chuckle. “I just need to be there for Matt and the guys. But I promise you’ll see me before you head out on tour.”
“I’ll hold you to that promise.” I can just envision his smile. “I love you, Layla.”
“Love you too. I’ll call you later.” I hang up the phone and head back inside where I still Matt staring blankly at the TV screen with a bottle of beer in his hands.
“Does he make you happy?” He asks, not bothering to look up at me.
“Yea, he does.” I reply despite knowing this wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
“Let him know if he ever hurts you, James and Lars will be least of his worries. Because I’ll kick his ass personally for making you upset.”
A smile creeps onto my lips, “I’ll let him know.”
“Okay, I’m sure.” I tell Luna over the phone as I pull up to the address she gave me; Matt’s address. “If he’s not talking to you guys, what makes you think he’ll talk to me? I mean the man kinda hates me.”
“Matt doesn’t hate you.” Luna assures me. “He just hates the fact he can’t hate you. The man is still madly in love with you and is pissed about it. He’ll answer the door to you, trust me. All of us are just really worried about him. Next to Brian, Matt was Jimmy’s best friend. His death is eating the boys alive.”
“I’m sure.” I frown. Jimmy called me about a week ago and I was supposed to hang out with him before heading over to Denmark to ring in the New Year with Michael and the rest of Volbeat. But I cancelled last second for work. I’m now kicking myself in the ass for not hanging out with him. If only I can turn back time… “I’m going to let you go. I’ll text you if Matt let's me in.”
“Thanks for doing this Layla, we had no idea who to call.” With that I hang up on her before killing the engine to my rental and head towards the door.
I know I shouldn’t be here. He doesn’t want to see me; he barely wants to see the people he considers his family. He lost a brother, he doesn’t need me here to open older wounds. But against my better judgement, I find myself pounding on Matt’s front door.
What feels like a century later, he opens up. I instantly smell the whiskey on his breath and coming out his pores. His hazel eyes are bloodshot and his hair is messy; he doesn’t look as put together as I remember him to be.
“What are you doing here Hetfield?” He slurs. Instead of answering his question, I push past his 6’1 frame and into the house.
“How dare you worry your friends like this?” I yell, turning to face him. “You’re not answering your phone to them or answering your door; they’re fucking worried about you. Do you really think they want to lose another friend so fucking soon?”
“Like you fucking care.” He mutters as he slams the front door shut. “You don’t care about anyone but yourself and your boyfriend. How can you fuck and leave me but actually commit yourself to Michael fucking Poulsen? He lives in fucking Denmark and I’m right in your backyard.”
“I’m sorry I did that to you, truly I am.” I apologize to him. “I didn’t intend on hurting you, Matt. I fucked up; that’s on me. I ran away from potentially the best thing to happen to me and it fucking scared me. I may be many things but don’t stand here and tell me I’m selfish and only care about myself and my boyfriend.
“When Luna called me, I was about to board a plane heading to Denmark so I can spend time with my boyfriend. But when she told me how scared she was, I didn’t board that plane. I came right here to make sure she doesn’t lose another friend. Here I am, stuck in the States because there are no more flights heading to Denmark that I won’t be paying an arm and a leg for. I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if anything happened to you.”
He scoffs, “why should I believe that?”
“Because deep inside of you, you know you’re the one person I can not lie to. I can lie to Luna, the boys, my dad and Lars, Michael; but you know me. You were able to see through my superficial bullshit and talk to me.” I walk closer to him and put a hand on his cheek. “Deep down you know me running away was a vain attempt at not hurting the both of us. You know I wouldn’t be here if you didn’t mean anything to me.”
Without saying anything, Matt pulls me into a backbreaking hug and starts sobbing. Something about seeing him so broken, so damaged is scaring the shit right out of me.
**
My boots and jacket have long since been discarded and I’m sitting in Matt’s living room as we’re watching New Year's Rockin’ Eve while eating pizza and wings and downing beers and shots of Jameson. Sure it was weird to be here with him and not with Michael and the boys; but this is nice. I missed this. I missed Matt.
“It’s so hard to believe he’s not going to be here in the next year.” Matt quietly says. “I always pictured all of us growing old together. I pictured us being the next Metallica and rocking out well into our golden years.”
“My dad isn’t that old.” I chuckle. “But yea, I know what you mean. It’s hard to believe his crazy ass isn’t going to make fun of me each time I see him because my hair is a different color. Or him being jealous because of Lars teaching me how to drum.”
“You guys never did do that battle.” Matt notes.
“I’m sure Jimmy would have kicked my ass.” I chuckle. “He was probably one of the best drummers and person I know. He had a heart of gold.”
“Thanks for being here, Layla.” There is sincerity in Matt’s voice. “It really means a lot. I know you didn’t have to come but I’m glad you did.”
“Lovers come and go, friends are a lifetime.” I tell him. “Despite everything that has happened between the two of us, I’ll always consider you to be my friend. Always.”
He leans over and pulls me into a hug just as the countdown begins. Just as he starts to pull away, the countdown ends. He looks me in the eye and places his lips softly on mine before quickly pulling away. “Happy New Year’s, Layla.”
“Happy New Year’s, Matt.” I smile at him, just as my phone starts to ring. I look down at the caller ID and see Michael’s name pop up. My smile grows even wider as I answer it, “hey baby. Happy New Year’s.” I quickly excuse myself but not before taking the sad look in Matt’s eyes as I do.
“Happy New Year’s..” Michael says breaking me from my trance. “How’s Matt?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure.” I reply. “He has a long way to go but he’s fine. He’s fine for someone that just lost their best friend.”
“How are you?”
“I’m getting there.” I tell him. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. I’m putting on a brave face for my friends; that’s all I can do.”
“Will I see you soon?”
“Of course, you can’t get rid of me that easily.” I chuckle. “I just need to be there for Matt and the guys. But I promise you’ll see me before you head out on tour.”
“I’ll hold you to that promise.” I can just envision his smile. “I love you, Layla.”
“Love you too. I’ll call you later.” I hang up the phone and head back inside where I still Matt staring blankly at the TV screen with a bottle of beer in his hands.
“Does he make you happy?” He asks, not bothering to look up at me.
“Yea, he does.” I reply despite knowing this wasn’t the answer he was looking for.
“Let him know if he ever hurts you, James and Lars will be least of his worries. Because I’ll kick his ass personally for making you upset.”
A smile creeps onto my lips, “I’ll let him know.”
@Kimmie
The sequel is titled Nothing Else Matters. It's being posted now.
7/8/18