Desert Flower

The door banged open, and I slammed it shut. I had been so angry lately, and today was no different. If anything, I was in a worse mood than I had been. Whenever I had to deal with my family, all my old and long-held anger issues and bitterness bubbled to the service. And five minutes ago, I had just had to deal with my father for an hour on the phone. I loved that man, but there were days when I really didn’t like him.

I sighed and slumped against the door. The frustration left over from the phone call had tired me out so much that I couldn’t even make it to the couch. It had been a frustrating day in part because of Dad and the other from my sister. She called to pester me about my wedding which was weird because we rarely talked, especially on the phone.

Banging my head against the wall next to the front door, I fought back tears. All I wanted was a hot shower and a nap. And god, I needed to blast some straight screaming metal music. My life was cursed again. I had had three good years of life and now the shit was starting to roll down on me again. Fucking cursed life. Now, the tears were falling down my face.

“Evie, I was thinking we could—“ Matt's voice cut off when he saw me. “Love, what’s going on?”

I shook my head, unable to form words. The tears just kept coming. My life was cursed, that’s all I kept thinking. Fate hated me. Matt pulled me in for a hug and rocked me, patting my back like my dad used to do when I was little. That was when the sobs started. I was ugly crying, the kind movies refused to show because it was so messy and gross.

Matt picked me up and cradled me against his chest. I felt safe in his arms, calming me somewhat. The sobs subsided to just small hiccups as we entered our bedroom. He gently set me down on the bed and removed my high heels. He rubbed each foot and put my shoes in our closet and then he came back. Matt pulled off my jeans, threw them in the hamper, and returned with my favorite sweatpants. After sliding those on me, he climbed into bed and held me against his body. Rubbing my back, he sung softly to me. His heartbeat started to calm me down. Between that and the singing, it caused me to fall asleep.

My phone rang, and I looked over at it. Seeing my dad’s nickname on the screen, I put aside the mouse and answered my phone.

“Hey, Dad. What’s up?” I asked. I had to compose myself because lately our calls descended into yelling.

“Little darling, we have to talk.” He sounded tired and sick. I hadn’t heard this level of tiredness since he’d had his stroke.

“I’m listening,” I said and saved the photo I was editing, clicking out of the document. He never called to talk, so it had to be important if he said we needed to.

“My liver is shutting down.”

My world went silent for a moment. Everything was in tunnel vision. A person couldn’t live without their liver. I could feel myself have difficulty breathing, like the start of an asthma attack.

“They won’t put me on the transplant list.”

My tunnel widened. Of course they wouldn’t put him on the transplant list. He was a heavy drinker, often starting at ten in the morning. I don’t think drinker was the right word; he was a full-blown alcoholic. No doctor in their right mind would give a healthy liver to a raging alcoholic.

“They say I have a month to live, if that.”

I nearly dropped my phone. I couldn’t deal with another death right now. Tears welled in my eyes, obscuring my vision. My dad and I didn’t always get along, but I loved him. The man had given me life and now his was nearly gone.

“I’d like to see you and Matt before it’s too late. Give you my blessing and all. I want to know everything about the wedding since I won’t be able to walk you down the aisle. Can you do that for me?”

I gulped back my tears and sobs. “Of course, Dad. I’ll see how soon we can see you. Are you still in Goldfield?”

“Yeah, little darling. Let me know when you’re on your way.”

“Will do.” We hung up and the tears fell. I had to leave work now because I hated crying that much.

On my way out the door, I dialed Mom’s number. The phone rang for a little bit and then she picked it up.

“Janice Wallace.”

“Mom,” I choked out the word. “You have to call Dad.”

“Baby, what’s going on?” Her voice was filled with concern. I cried around Mom but it had been a while.

“He’s dying, Mommy. He doesn’t have much longer.”

“Why do you think he’s dying?”

“He told me. His liver is failing, and no one will put him on the transplant list. All he asked was to see me and Hunter and give us his blessing. Did he call Mary Jane?”

“I’m sure he already did or is now. Are you okay?”

“We’ve known Dad’s been killing himself,” I said, “But it still sucks. He’s my dad, Mom. He was a good dad. Hell, he was a great one.”

“He has a disease, baby. I know it’s hard right now. I’ll give him a call in a bit. Go take care of yourself.” My mother got her focused voice on which meant you better listen to her.

“Yes, ma’am.” I hung up and drove home.

I woke up, breathing hard. Matt sat up and rubbed my shoulders, telling me it was okay. Leaning into his chest, I cried harder than I had in years. He leaned us back against the headboard and absently dragged his finger up and down my arm.

He traced one tattoo, knowing not to ask me what was wrong. “Tell about this tat.”

I swallowed spit and sobs. “It’s a cherry tree, symbol of hope in my first book ever. Sometimes, you just need a sign of hope.”

“That’s sweet,” Matt said and smiled. “Let’s shower and then go get some Thai food.”

“Can I shower alone?”

“Of course, desert flower.” He kissed me on the forehead and handed me my phone. “Go blast some metal.”

I wanted to smile but just took my phone and nodded my thanks. I walked into the bathroom and started to pull off my clothes. I even slipped my engagement ring off and carefully set it on the counter. I hated to shower with jewelry on. Then I selected the music on my phone, turned it as loud as possible, and cranked the water to the hottest setting.

Disturbed sounded through the speaker on my phone and echoed off the glass walls. The music seemed louder than normal. I stuck my head under the spray and let it cascade around my body. The water was practically scalding my skin, but it washed away the tears. I honestly didn’t think my body could produce anymore.

The song changed to a Shinedown song, and I poured shampoo into my hands. I rubbed it into my hair and let the water rinse it away. I did the same thing with conditioner. Leaning against the tile wall, I banged my head against it. My life really was cursed. I finished the shower by lathering on body wash and shaving.

Getting out of the shower, I wrapped a towel around my body and put my dirty clothes in the hamper. Keeping the towel wrapped around myself, I went to the vanity and pulled out lotion, nail polish, a hair dryer, and makeup. My theory, currently, was if I looked good, I’d feel good.

Before I began that regimen, I went back into the bedroom. Matt was still sitting on the bed. He glanced up at me and smiled as I walked to the closet to select my outfit for the evening.

“Blue makes your big eyes pop,” Matt said, “Not that you need my advice on what to wear.”

“But you are hinting,” I said and grabbed a blue dress and some yellow high heels. “No looking.”

He chuckled and hid his eyes behind his hands. “Okay, I’m not looking. I can’t wait to see you. Oh, and I love you, desert flower.”

I smiled for real this time and dashed back into the bathroom. The metal music was still playing loudly. I set my clothes down and began to blow my hair dry. I usually liked to let it air dry, but tonight, I wanted to look good. Tonight, I wanted to turn heads, including that of my fiancé.

After my hair was dry, I started to put on my makeup. I never really wore it too much, but I put on more than normal. I finished with lotion, did my nails, styled my hair, and put on my outfit. All I needed now was my jewelry. I kept it in the bathroom because I still couldn’t put my earrings in without a mirror, so all my jewelry stayed in here.

I selected fake dangling sapphire earrings and pearl studs for my second earhole. My necklace was a Celtic trinity knot and all I needed now was my engagement ring. Looking down, I saw it wasn’t on the counter. I looked on the floor, but I couldn’t find it.

Now on my hands and knees, I frantically searched the ground. I’d be so upset if I lost that ring; it meant so much to me. I went to the bathroom door and turned the knob. Maybe I took it outside when I went to get my dress.

“Matt?” I asked as I entered the bedroom. “Have you seen my ring?”

He came out of the closet. My mouth literally dropped open. He was wearing his dress uniform and looked so damn handsome. I had never seen him in it before.

“Which ring, Evie?” He straightened his tie and looked up. I wasn’t the only one stunned by the other’s appearance. “Holy shit. You’re beautiful, Evangeline.”

I blushed. “Thanks. You look… well, I’m speechless. I seem to have misplaced my engagement ring.”

Notes

What's up my dudes?