You Have My Heart

******

Matt awoke the following morning to sounds of unplugged electric guitars being played with. Throwing on track pants but no shirt, he trudged downstairs. It was still blindingly white outside. All the better--they really should get shit done. Meaning music, not Brian.

Dimples sparkled when one guitar hit some wrong notes and made horrible screeching noises. Matt looked over to find wide chocolate eyes staring him down as he sauntered towards coffee.

“Bri, get a freaking grip, man. You’ve seen the guy without a shirt on for over a decade. Why now?” Vengeance squeaked.
“Dude. I don’t know.” Syn mumbled and forced his concentration back to his guitar and whatever he was messing around with, with his twin lead.

Matt grumbled watching the two. He knew it was stupid, being jealous of the chemistry they made together. It was one of the reasons they’d made it this far--they were meant to be together on stage, and in the studio. He thought for a split second about stretching and making it absolutely impossible to let Gates concentrate but decided he was a bigger man than that. He grabbed a cup and sat near the other two.

“What’re you guys up to?” He asked when they paused after awhile.
“Trying to make the chords Jimmy wrote make sense. Syn can barely play them, don’t know how I’m going to,” Zacky grumbled.

“Dude, you’re doing a better job than I am. I have the finger span, but you’ve got the rhythm down.”

Matt smiled at their back and forth, got up, and kissed Brian’s hair, “I’m gonna go work out. Don’t have too much fun without me.”

The second Shadz was out the door, Z quieted his guitar, “That doesn’t bother you?”
Gates just quirked a brow in question.
“You’re like...under his ownership. It really bothers him whenever you’re doing anything with anyone else. Like now.”



Brian blushed and scratched behind his head, shrugging, “No, um, I kind of like it. Still. I’m waiting for it to get old or for him to ease off, but neither’s happened. I assume as time wears on, it will though. Ease up, I mean.”
“So that doesn’t make you feel, I dunno, either trapped or degraded? Look, I’m just lookin’ out for you, man.”
“I appreciate it, but no. It makes me feel loved. Which is what that is. He loves me, and if you make me keep talking about this, I’m gonna sport a boner right in front of you, so….”

Zacky made gagging faces and giggled, backing off as they both laughed and got back to breaking down a riff written by a drummer.

*

In the middle of lifting his frustrations, Matt looked up to find Sullivan standing over him upside down, “Shouldn’t you have a spotter?” Jimmy helped him put the weights into the hold and Matt sat up, wiping his face off.



“Well, no one’s here. What’re you doing here anyway?”
Jimmy shrugged, “Clear my head. I’ve been trying to write again, but everything that comes out now isn’t really our style.”
“Whaddaya mean? We don’t have a style.”
“Bullshit we don’t. I mean, I get that we evolve, but the shit in my head is way out in left field.”

“But we love your left field, Jimmy. Seriously. Don’t hold back. You know if we don’t like it, we’ll tell you. The stuff you’ve written so far is incredible, but I’d love to see what you’ve got from, ya know, deep within Jimmy,” Matt smiled and it made his friend smile wider.

“Okay. You asked for it, though.”
Shads laughed back, “You bet I did.”

*

Matt and Jimmy found their way back to the lodge, deciding after getting through the drifts of snow that they most definitely shouldn’t go out again. The three guitarists were still huddled together, creating away. Shadz made himself not interfere and went to take a shower.

Jimmy sat down at the piano in the other room, picking out a melody one key at a time. By the time he’d recorded a sloppy eight minutes of weird, the string players were all listening from the other room wondering what the heck was going on. Sullivan ignored them, hopping up and heading for the shower when he was done hours later.

*

That night Matt made dinner for everyone and couldn’t help but hope Brian would be done creating music for the day so they could spend some time together. But he knew better than to say anything or stop the guys when they were on a roll, and just took a deep breath when they finished eating and went right back to it.

Syn could tell he was slightly annoyed and gave him a quick kiss, “Thanks for dinner. Feel free to join us.” His fingers raked through Matt’s short hair that was growing out just enough to start curling at the neck.
Matt huffed and narrowed his eyes, but kept his tone friendly, “No, you guys go ahead.” He’d noticed a bit ago that they’d come by and plowed the walkways and roads, “Hey, Rev! Wanna go to the lodge?”

“Fuck yeah, dude!” The tall guy jumped over the couch and made for his jacket.

Matt caught Brian’s wary eyes back at him, “Maybe you’ll be done by the time we get back?” He shrugged with hope in his glimmery hazel eyes.
Syn grinned sideways back, “Yeah. So don’t get too drunk.” He winked.

***

“Never have I ever…..” Jimmy gave an interesting sidelong glance at his singer, “Been with someone who wasn’t willing.”



Matt narrowed his eyes back at the Rev, leaving his drink on the table, “What are you insinuating, Jim?” He gave a smirk, “They’ve always been willing. So...willing.” Matt rolled his eyes to accentuate how crazy the last several years had been.

Jimmy was nice and buzzed--okay maybe a little drunk--but had the thought flow through his scattered mind to ask Matt a few inappropriate questions via a drinking game, “You just...have this power over Brian, and he’s my best friend…”

Shadz gawked, more than a little insulted, “I can’t believe you’d think I would ever….”



Sullivan patted him on the back, “Dude, look. Normally, I would never ever think that. But you’ve been different since you hooked up with Bri. He brings a side out in you that was only for photo shoots and interviews before. Shadows didn’t used to be real. Just looking out, for both of you.”

Matt sighed, taking his shot now because he wanted to drink, “I would never, ever hurt Brian. Physically or otherwise. He’s my forever.” His voice got a little quiet, “Just because he brings out my dominant side doesn’t mean I’m not still me.”

Jim put up both hands in surrender, “Yeah, yeah.” He grinned his happy Jimmy smile, “So when you guys gonna set a date?”

Shads’ eyes went wide as he almost dropped his shot glass, “Dude, what?”

“I’m just kidding, Matt, sheesh! But seriously, you two are meant to be together. It only makes sense. I can just see it now, Brian all pretty walking down the aisle with a long train behind him--”

“That is so mean, Jimmy…” Matt shook his head, blushing so hard he put a hand over his eyes.

The Rev giggled away at how uncomfortable Matt seemed, but eyed him carefully--knowing it was just a matter of time.

***

“Man, just go down there and get him. We’re not getting anything done anymore.” Zacky set down his guitar and got up to get another beer.
Syn’s gaze hit the floor.
“I’m not blaming you. They’ve been gone awhile. Besides, we got a fuckload done today.” He low-fived Christ as Gates got up for a beer as well.

“Maybe we should go find them. You know how Jimmy gets. Before ya know it, the police will be called and we’ll be bailing him out!” Johnny chuckled.

Brian laughed, but was honestly worried that Matt might drink too much….and make a mistake….one he’d made before….

“‘Shot through the heart! And...you’re….baby you give love a bad name!!’”

Just then, the two drunks stumbled through the back door and into the room, singing at the top of their lungs together like they were howling at the moon.

The second Matt saw Brian standing there gawking, he grinned wide--sauntering his way, doing his best to throw dimples and make eyes, “There’s my BriBri. C’mere, baby.” He yanked Brian to his chest before leaning over and throwing the guitarist over a built shoulder.

“Guys! Little help here?” Syn looked towards his brothers.
Jimmy cackled, “Like you want it! Shad-ows, Shad-ows!” He chanted as the others joined in, Matt hauling Gates up the stairs with a wide smile.

“Matt, you’re drunk--” Brian protested as he was thrown onto the bed and pinned down.
“So?” Matt grinned sharkishly, planting his mouth on Syn’s throat as he held him down, “If you don’t want it, Bri, just say so…”
Syn rolled his eyes at himself, “I want it, Matty...I’ve missed you all day…”

That was music to Matt’s ears, “Nice to know you feel the same…” He stripped off Syn’s track pants and swiped the lube off the night stand. Too drunk to bother with fingers first,Matt quickly whipped it out and took Brian.

“Oh, Matty…” Syn’s eyes fluttered closed as he bit at Matt’s shoulder, loving how full he felt when his lover just took him like that, and how cherished he felt when Matt couldn’t control himself.

“Brian...fuck, you feel...wow…” He nuzzled the lead’s ear as he held him close, “I want to spend my life with you, Bri….” Matt mumbled, barely coherent, “Marry me, baby…”

Syn’s long fingers were buried in Matt’s hair when he proposed, his lips open in a silent moan. His eyes flew open, having no idea what to say. Before he could find words, though, he realized the huge guy was just drunk and didn't mean it. Smiling to himself, Brian hummed with pleasure before leaning his head back and vocalizing louder.

Shadows pulled up onto both hands, lengthening his stroke so Brian keened and started to fall apart. Matt narrowed his gaze that was trained solely on the guitarist who hadn’t said yes yet, snarling, “Answer me!”



Brian’s hooded brown eyes opened, barely able to focus on the dominant hazel eyes glaring down at him. The huge guy’s huge cock shoved in and pulled out, shoved in and pulled out, causing Syn’s thoughts to scatter wildly, “Matt--you don’t mean that--”

“Fuck yes I do, Brian. Please say yes so I can make this official and you’ll be mine forever…I love you, Bri.”

Syn wanted Matt to slow the fuck down so they could look longingly into one another’s eyes when he said yes, but that wasn’t usually how Matt did things. In fact, to try and coax an answer out of him, Shadows accented his thrusts harder.

Brian yelped, “Yes, Matt! I’ll marry you! Fuck, yes!”

Matt’s lips crashed onto his lover’s when he got the answer he was looking for, moaning into the owning kiss as Gates pulsed around him. Hands clawed at the large back as he came over himself, trying to bring Matt with him.

Shadows wrapped his now fiancé close in both his thick arms, coming helplessly as their tongues played. Matt slumped over Brian, whispering lovingly in his ear, “Thank you, BriBri…”

Brian just held him, grinning as sleep overtook them both--not sure what he’d just signed up for.

***

It wasn’t every morning that Syn woke up to Matt’s head on his chest. Brian lovingly petted the short hair and kissed Matt’s forehead, hugging him closer. He didn’t want to wake him, but he was just so...happy.

Gates tried to remind himself how drunk Matthew had been and attempted to calm down. Shadz groaned a little and peeked one eye up at Brian. Long fingers drifted over his rough, stubbled cheek, “Hey, honey. How do you feel?”

Shadz just turned and cuddled closer to Brian, face disappearing into the crook of his neck, “Hungover as fuck. Absolutely ecstatic that the man of my dreams agreed to marry me, though.”



Brian’s breath caught, a huge smile drifting onto his face as Matt propped up on an elbow to meet his gaze. His hazel eyes were void of the dominance from the night before and full of hope and love. His index finger moved a lock of black hair away from Syn’s face, “Please tell me you meant it.”

Gates captured the large hand in his and kissed his palm, brown eyes large and blinking at moisture that refused to go away, “Meant every word, Matty. Make me the happiest man alive.”
Matt broke down and wrapped Brian in his huge arms, refusing to let his lover see the few happy tears that sprang to his eyes. After a moment, he sat up, fingers massaging his temple, “C’mon, lets go tell everyone.”

Quickly throwing on clothes, the couple trudged downstairs to find all the others up. Jimmy immediately handed Matt some hangover cure he’d made, “Here. Figure you’d probably need this.”

Matt chugged it all at once while he held up a thumb in the air. Slamming the glass on the counter when he was done, he put an arm around his blushing Brian, “We have news.”

The other three gathered closer, wide-eyed.

Shadz looked down at his fiance, “Bri agreed to marry me last night. We’re engaged.”

The two were immediately hugged and congratulated and asked a million questions. Jimmy jumped up and down and spouted about five hundred ideas for wedding stuff within two minutes.

“Seriously. We tease a lot, but I hope you guys know just how happy we are for you,” Vengeance smiled earnestly.
“Thanks, Zack…” Brian hugged Matt closer, unable to let go.

Matt excused themselves, leading Brian to a small room that looked out over the snowy scenery so they could talk about some things.

They sat down on a couch facing each other and Matt touched the other’s hair, “How soon you wanna do this, Bri?”
Syn flushed, lowering his gaze, “Well...as soon as possible, but...we should probably wait until after the record’s done, that way we can go on an actual honeymoon for at least a few days?”

Matt chewed on his lip, “True…” He’d hoped to get hitched within weeks, not months. He took Brian’s hand in his, hazel eyes now full of doubt, “Are you ready for this to be public? To come out? This is a big step, Bri.”

Syn swallowed hard, but nodded, raising his eyes, “Yes, Matt. I’m ready. It’ll be tough, but we’ll get through it. Our fans are who matter and they won’t care.”

Shadz grinned wide, capturing the lead’s lips in his quickly, “I’m so glad you feel that way. I’m ready, too. Now we don’t have to worry about the wedding being a secret. Where...do you wanna get hitched?” He smiled sideways.



Brian got a little more serious, mocha orbs searching his partner’s, “On the beach at sunset, Matthew. You without a shirt on, toes in the sand...as much as I’d love to see you in a tux, I want it to be natural--us. We grew up on the beach together, I feel like that’s just what’s right.”

Matt chuckled, “I love you, Brian.”
“I love you too, Matty.”

***

Notes

Sorry it's been so long for this story! Hope you guys enjoyed the proposal!!

Any other thoughts?? Please comment! Love you guys!