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Secrets and Lies

12: It’s a Work of Art the Way This Fell Apart

Zack suggests going to the coffee shop to talk, but I know we’re going to need somewhere with more privacy. With me officially homeless for the moment, we decide to head back to Huntington Beach to his house. Although I know the way, I decide to follow Zack from Anaheim to Huntington Beach. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to turn off the highway about ten dozen times and just keep driving, keep my secrets to myself but…Zack deserved more. No matter what happened between us ten years ago, he protected me against someone that I didn’t have the strength to leave until he showed me that I was strong enough.

“I could have driven you back to get your car after we talked,” Zack tells me when I pull up to his house. “No point in wasting the gas.”

I shrug. Truth is, I’m probably going to need a getaway car when I tell Zack everything. “Oh, it’s fine. I don’t really know where I’m going to go when I leave here anyway,” I tell him.

We enter Zack's house. It’s not as destroyed as it was the last time I was here – the glass by the door is cleaned up and there’s no sign of the countless liquor bottles anymore – but it’s still trashed. “Well, you can stay here,” Zack tells me. “Until you get something figured out. I mean, I have a guest room that almost never gets used, so you’ll have your own space.”

“That’s really nice of you, Zack but uh…maybe you should hear what I have to say first,” I tell him.

“Um, okay,” Zack says, concerned. I follow him to the couch and sit down beside him. “What’s up?” he asks.

I can’t help but pick at my fingers and avoid eye contact. I decided to tell Zack the truth, but I haven’t quite figured out how I am going to tell him. “I don’t even know how to start.”

“Just start from the beginning. I don’t have anywhere to be.”

I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. Still unsure of how to start. “I never got to hear the ending to the great love story of Zack and Nora.”

Zack shoots me a confused look. “Um…is that what you wanted to talk about?”

I shake my head. “Well, kind of. Um…let me take a guess on how it ended.”

“Okay?” Zack says slowly.

“So…things were going great and then you got signed.”

Zack shakes his head. “That’s not what ended it.”

I take a deep breath. “No, but you left her with her crazy parents, so it was the beginning to the end.”

“Stella, I don’t understand what –”

I sigh. “Zack, come on. There has to be some part of you that knows.”

For the first time since entering his house, I look up and lock eyes with him. Zack stares at me for a long time. I can almost feel him peering into my soul, opening up the closet that contains my deepest, darkest secrets. He looks away from me and stares at his hands. After a long moment, he stands up.

“I…have to go,” he says as he starts to walk to the front door.

“Wait, Zack…” I start, following him but he’s already out the door. “This is your house,” I mumble awkwardly.

Zack doesn’t come back in immediately; instead, I hear his car start and watch him from the window as he drives off. I’m unsure about what to do – should I stay and wait for him to come back? Or should I leave? Zack didn’t ask me to leave, instead he left himself – maybe that means I should stay, wait for him to come back. Maybe he just needed to blow off some steam before he comes back to yell at me. He must be angry, he has every right to be – but I wish he would use his words. I wish I, too, could get answers about why things were done the way they were. I decide to stick around. When Zack does come back, he can tell me to leave if he wants. If I leave now, I know a part of me will always wonder what would have been said if I decided to stay.

I sit back on the couch and try to wait patiently, but my nerves get to me. Before I can change my mind and leave, I decide to put my idle hands to work and clean Zack's house. It needs to be done anyway and if Zack does return completely pissed off, maybe the fact that I cleaned his house will help make him feel appreciative.

I’ve just finished taking out the trash when Zack pulls up. He hesitates to get out of the car and once he finally gets out, he reluctantly steps from behind the door and closes it. I cross my arms, trying to make myself feel secure or confident, and wait for him on his porch as he slowly starts to walk up his lighted pathway.

“You’re still here,” he mumbles, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

“I didn’t know if you wanted me to leave or not,” I mumble back.

Zack nods, reaching for the door handle. “To be honest, I’m not sure either.” Again, he hesitates before he walks into his house and beckons me to follow him.

“Zack…” I start as so as I shut the door behind me.

“You cleaned my house?” he asks and then shakes my head. “It doesn’t matter. Why did you come back? Why didn’t you tell me it was you? I mean…did you do it on purpose? Did you find Gena and use her to…to snake your way back into my life?”

“What?” I ask. “Zack, that’s ridiculous. I didn’t know who Gena was until…well, until I saw you.”

“And then you told me your name was Stella,” Zack recounted.

I shake my head. “See, I technically didn’t do that either. My friend Vivian did and then you disappeared.”

“So, if you didn’t have it planned, then why did she call you Stella?” Zack asks me.

“Because that’s what I go by now. I’ve gone by it for years,” I reply.

Zack is pacing back and forth now. “This still doesn’t explain why you didn’t just tell me who you really were.”

“Come on, Zack. Did you really want to know? I mean, there had to be some part of you that knew it was me. I mean, I know I’ve changed over the years, but I haven’t changed that much. I mean, hell, even Brian recognized me.”

“That doesn’t matter, Nora! You should have told me!” Finally, he is using his angry tone.

“I should have, but…honestly Zack, I didn’t want to see you again. Not after I graduated and not after that party. Then we ran into each other again and…one thing led to another.”

“One thing led to another? That’s your excuse?” Zack scoffs. “God, just go, Nora.”

“Za –”

Zack isn’t listening. “Fuck, Nora! Did you think this was funny? Leading me on to think you were someone else, begging me to tell you things you already fucking knew!”

“Well –”

“I fucking lost my fiancé because of you!” Zack yells.

“Now, hold on a minute! What happened between you and Gena had nothing to do with me,” I yell back.

“Bullshit, Nora. This was your plan all along otherwise you would have told me the truth a long time ago.”

“You really think that low of me, Zack? I am not a homewrecker. As a matter of fact, after everything I still want you to be happy!”

Zack scoffs. “You want me to be happy?”

“Yes!”

“Really?”

“What? Yes!”

“If you wanted me to be happy then you should have never left,” he says loudly and then immediately looks like he regrets it.

“What the hell are you talking about, Zack?” I roll my eyes. “I had no choice I –”

“Oh, fuck that!”

“Fuck you! You’re the one that left! You’re the one that took my parents’ money in exchange for our break up!”

“What? Nora, what the hell are you talking about?”

I shake my head. Now that the words were out, I realized I didn’t want to know why he took the money. After all, it doesn’t matter. No matter what his reasoning was, he still took it. “Just forget it, Zack. I have to go.”

“No, you don’t get to just barge into my life and completely uproot it while accusing me of something ridiculous,” Zack tells me.

“Oh, come off it, Zack. My parents told me when I graduated, and you didn’t show. It’s fine, I know you were struggling to get your band where you wanted it to be. We were kids, I can’t blame you.”

“Nora, I never took that money! I can’t believe you think I would do something like that. Jesus, Nora. You talk about me believing the worst of you and here you are believing the worst of me,” he shakes his head.

I cross my arms and study his face, searching for a hint of a lie or secrecy. “Well, if you didn’t take the money then why didn’t you ever write me back? I must have sent you a hundred letters! I begged you to come break me out of that hellhole and when you didn’t do that, I begged you to come to my graduation!”

Zack is staring at me. I’m waiting for him to come up with some excuse but instead of opening his mouth he turns and disappears upstairs. I scoff and chase after him, calling his name but he ignores me. He turns into a room I’ve never been in before and when I enter, I realize it’s a room full of books, magazines, vinyl records and CDs.

“Zack, what are you doing?”

Without a word, Zack walks over to a shelf and pulls out a book I immediately recognize as a Huntington Beach High School yearbook. He shakes it upside down until two envelopes fall out and onto the floor. With his back towards me, he picks them both up and then slowly turns to face me.

“I only got two letters from you, Nora,” he says calmly. “This one is postmarked first from your parents’ address and then I got this one.” He raises each envelope. I reluctantly take the first one from him and open it. In my handwriting, reads:


Zachary –

You have been gone for 12 days, 13 hours and 22 minutes. Today in chem class I was asked by about three people how you and the band have been doing. I wish I had an answer to give them. I wish you knew how hard it was for me to write this.

I hate you for leaving me here – with my parents, with classmates that act like they’ve been your best friend for years now. Mostly my parents though. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let me come with you. You know I don’t belong here without you. I only exist where you are. So, why did you leave me?


I shake my head, flipping the paper over for more but it’s blank. “Wait, Zack. This isn’t…I didn’t –”

Zack hands me the second envelope. This one has the Saint-Clair Etiquette School emblem embossed onto it and inside is another letter in my handwriting on paper with the same emblem. I take and open it.


Zachary –

I hope you’ve been well. I’ve been attending school in Manhattan for the last few months. I didn’t want to come at first, but I’m glad I did. Being away from you has taught me what it’s like to be strong on my own two feet. Apart from learning who I am without you, I’m also learning a lot more here and I’m meeting a lot of new people – people that are good for me.

I haven’t stopped loving you. However, now that we have spent some time apart, I realize that the type of love you and I had isn’t a type of love that will survive in the real world. I’ve realized that I have to choose between you and the woman I am meant to be. I choose me, Zack. I know that sounds harsh, but you did it too, didn’t you? When you decided to leave Huntington Beach and leave me there, alone.

I’m not mad anymore, I promise. I understand why you did it, I understand that it is what’s best and I respect your decision. Enclosed in this envelope is a check from me to you. Please use it for whatever the band needs and think of it as me supporting and respecting your decision. As a thank you, please respect my decision to continue my life without you so I can become the person I need to be.

Best Wishes,
Nora Saint-Clair

My hands are shaking as I finish the letter. There is so much that doesn’t make sense but there still remained one true thing after all the years – Zack took the money. “What did you spend the money on?” I asked him.


Zack shakes his head and motions to the envelope. “I didn’t spend it.”

I shoot him a confused glance before looking into the envelope I pulled the letter out of. Inside there sits another piece of paper, this time a check written out to Zachary Baker. “$5,000?”

“You can stop with the charade, Nora,” Zack mumbles, taking the envelopes and letters away from me.

“Zack, I didn’t send you either of those!”

Zack groans. “Seriously, Nora – stop! I may not know much but I know your handwriting and both of those are in it!”

“I – I know but…look, this one –” I pull the first letter from his hands. “This was a journal entry. I was so angry with you for leaving me with my parents. I needed someone to talk to but you weren’t there and…I just needed to get it out and so I wrote it all down. I never sent it to you – I would have never…Look, it’s not even a full page. Zack, I remember writing this…there was so much more to it. They must have cut it off to make it seem like a letter but…Zack, I swear…”

“Nora…”

“And this one!” I yank the second letter from his hands. “I don’t know how she orchestrated this one but…I never wrote this. I mean, listen to it: Being away from you has taught me what it’s like to be strong on my own two feet and – and I have to choose between you and the woman I am meant to be! Who does that sound like to you because it definitely doesn’t sound like me?!” Before Zack gets the chance to reply, I turn around and head out of the room.

“Nora!” Zack calls after me as he follows me down the stairs. “Nora, where are you going?”

“To my parents’!” I seethe, storming out of his house. They have a lot of explaining to do.

Notes

More secrets and answers to come!

Thank you for commenting Kimmie and megan20089

Title credit: Just Surrender “Our Work of Art”)

Comments

Ooh I just loved this! Gosh, it was so cute and that ending though!

C.H.Sullivan C.H.Sullivan
12/31/18

Awhhh the ending was so cute! I know you were struggling on how to continue a while back, but you did great!

I'm sad it's ended, but the ending was as it should have been :)

Kimmie Kimmie
12/8/18

*happy sigh*

I love happy endings

BeccaBearSc BeccaBearSc
12/2/18

AWWWWW their realtionship is too damn cute.

BeccaBearSc BeccaBearSc
11/5/18