A Helping Hand

Trying her best to ignore her ex-boyfriend, Indy walked to reception and greeted the young woman behind the desk.

“Hi, Indy Cooper checking in,” she said, feeling Brendan’s gaze on her. She was trying her best not to let it rattle her, but couldn’t help how her hands were slightly shaking with rage.

“Good afternoon, Ms Cooper. We have you booked into room 308 for your stay,” the receptionist told her. Indy noticed the quick look she gave Brendan before continuing. If she didn’t know better, she was sure she saw the young girl wink. “It is one of our ‘Romance’ suites.”

“Uh, ok,” Indy replied, her confusion growing the longer she was in the hotel.

“We have you booked in from this evening for exactly three weeks, is that correct?” She asked Indy, typing away at her computer screen.

“Yes, at the moment. I may either check out early, or extend my stay, but will let you know either way,” Indy replied, sure Warner would have already told the hotel this information. Recording isn’t a science, so often jobs would run either side of their schedule. It all depended on the artist, the amount of recording, and it even varied day by day.

“That shouldn’t be a problem, Ms Cooper,” she confirmed. She placed a sheet of paper on the top of the desk, along with a pen and two swipe keys for her room. “If you can please sign and date the bottom, you will be all set.”

“Thanks for your help,” Indy said, signing where she was told. She picked up a single key, pushing the spare back to the receptionist. “I only need the one key.”

“Oh, one is for your boyfriend,” she replied, pointing at Brendan. “He tried to check you guys in earlier, but as the booking is in your name, we had to wait for you to arrive. Enjoy your stay!”

Indy shoved the key into her pocket, and started going back outside. She had left her suitcase in the car while she went to check in, too excited to Tetris it out of the Camry. Now, she was glad she had left it in the car, giving her an excuse to leave the hotel before she made a very loud scene in the hotel’s lobby.

“Indy, wait!”

Ignoring the plea, Indy continued to walk to her car. She knew it wouldn’t be long until he caught up with her, his longer legs making up the distance quickly. She had not mentally prepared for this!

“Indy!”

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.

The mantra repeated in Indy’s head as she finally reached her car. Instead of opening the trunk as she wanted to do, she spun on her heels, staring down the man approaching her. She couldn’t help but drink in his features as he approached, from the small amount of stubble on his chin to his change in style. The biggest difference was his hair. He had cut it, the once long, curly locks were now gone, his hair still fair, but much shorter than she preferred.

It took all of her mental strength not to get in the car and drive away. She wanted to call Warner and make up some lie so she could bail and get on the next plane home. How had she managed to convince herself that this was a good idea?

“Indy,” Brendan said once more, finally catching up.

“Why?” Indy asked, her voice coming out a lot softer than she meant it. She wanted to scream and shout at him, finally get out some of the emotions that had been lacking since their ‘break up’. Instead, her question came out all but a whisper. “Why are you here?”

“I needed to see you,” he replied, taking a step closer to the girl that had been on his mind for the last two years. Indy looked at him warily.

“And it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” She asked, the question falling from her lips before she could let it.

“No,” he replied simply. He took one more step towards Indy, the gap between them now inches. He opened his arms and wrapped them around the fragile girl, memories instantly flashing back as they embraced.

Indy was in shock. There was just too much to process, and she had so many questions. She shivered, the cold seeping through her travelling clothes. She had not expected to be out in the weather as long as she had been, and had not dressed appropriately. Without returning the hug, Indy stepped back, out of the embrace. She could see Brendan’s face drop, the reaction clearly not what he had anticipated.

“I need to get back inside,” she told him, taking a breath before opening the car. She returned to her original mission of collecting her suitcase, the task taking away the temptation of being back in Brendan’s arms. She soon lifted it from the car and placed it on the ground, deciding to leave her guitars in the car overnight so she wouldn’t have to lug them all up to the hotel and back down in the morning. The cold would surely mess with the tuning, but they would need to be restrung tomorrow anyway.

“Can I walk with you?” He asked, watching Indy’s precise movements. He noticed how she bit the inside of her lip as she considered his question.

“Of course,” she said, her voice soft once again. She looked back at him, the hope in his eyes making her smile lightly. “Come up to the room with me? We need to talk.”

“That sounds wonderful,” he replied, smiling widely. He reached over and grabbed the handle of her case, starting back towards the hotel before she could argue.

The walk back was silent, as was the trip through the lobby (Indy purposefully ignoring the look from the receptionist at they passed by), the pair finally arriving at Indy’s suite. Her breath was taken away as she opened the door and stepped inside the suite.

The room was enormous. Light grey carpet covered the floor while the walls were either a chocolate brown, or exposed stone. To the left of the doorway was a small kitchenette that held a mini fridge, coffee maker and a few cabinets that held glassware. On the counter was a bottle of red wine, two glasses and chocolate coated strawberries. Indy furrowed her brows and walked further in the suite. A huge king bed took the majority of the room with two small armchairs across from it. The armchairs sat beside a heater with a roaring fire façade. Though it was not a real fire, it still gave off plenty of warmth, and made the room feel cosy. To the right of the ‘fire place’ were glass doors leading to a small balcony. The view through the doors was stunning, she could barely tare herself away. Finally, Indy made her way into the bathroom. Her jaw dropped. Taking inspiration from the main room, the bathroom was huge. There was enough space for a double vanity, a spacious shower with a rain showerhead, but the pièce de résistance was the huge bathtub that sat in front of the floor-to-ceiling window, showing the same irresistible view as the balcony. She ran a hand over the edge of the bath as she walked around it, already imagining herself submerged in scalding hot water as she looked out at the scenery before her.

“Like it?” Brendan asked Indy, startling her from her exploration. Indy looked over at him, noticing the small smile on his face as he leant against the doorjamb.

“It is beautiful,” she said, removing her hand from the ledge of the bath. She made her way back out to the main room, Brendan moving from the doorway, letting her pass by. She could smell his cologne as she passed, the familiarity hitting her like a ton of bricks.

“Only the best for you,” he told her, watching her every move. She made her way back through the room, making sure to put her room key on the benchtop in the kitchenette. She paused for a second, looking at the strawberries before facing him once more.

“I-I don’t even know where to start,” Indy confessed, stuttering over her words. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, and so many answers she didn’t want to know. So many things were not quite adding up, and it was making her antsy. She moved from the kitchenette and sat in one of armchairs. She watched Brendan do the same, sitting beside her. “This suite wasn’t from Warner, was it?”

“Not entirely,” he admitted, shrugging lightly. “It’s only a small upgrade.”

“Why?” She asked simply. She had a feeling that question was going to come up a lot.

“You deserve the best,” he replied, smiling. Indy sighed, rubbing her eyes. “It’s the same hotel you were meant to stay in, just a better room.”

“But why? Why the “Romance Suite”? Why did you upgrade my room? Why are you even here?” She asked the barrage of questions escaping her mind through her mouth. “Why am I even here, Brendan? You could have any session musician Warner keep on staff, people that have been in the game for years and can play any instrument you ask of them. Why did you ask for me?”

“Because you are better than any of those other musicians. Don’t look at me like that, you are, and you know it,” he said, getting stern when he saw Indy about to interrupt. “I asked for you because I know how well we work together, Indy. You have to remember how perfectly in sync we are.”

Indy was quiet, trying not to think back on the past. He was right, they had played flawlessly together, feeding off one another when they jammed and giving each other ideas when creating original work.

“I won’t lie to you, there is a part of me that asked you to come here so I could see you again. So we could talk, sort out what went wrong with us,” he told her, getting off his seat to kneel in front of her. He took her hands in his, silently urging her to look at him as he spoke. Her gaze remained on the floor. “But please believe me when I tell you that you are here for your talent, above and before anything else.”

“This is insane,” she whispered, finally looking at Brendan. Up close she could see the age lines on his forehead and around his eyes, making him look the 12 years older that he was. With a firmer voice, she repeated herself. “This is insane, Brendan!”

“What’s insane?” he asked, not following her train of thought.

“All of this,” she replied, gesturing around her. She took her hands back, getting up from her seat and she started pacing as she spoke. “This is too much, how can you not see that? We broke up, Brendan. You can’t just appear at my hotel, and pay for my hotel suites! It’s too much!”

“I knew you would like it,” he replied, once again shrugging. He followed in Indy’s steps and rose to his feet. He made his way over to the pacing woman in front of him and embraced her. She struggled briefly before giving in. “You are worth the world, Indigo-Rose. I made the mistake of not seeing that while we were together. I stupidly let you get away, and I can’t let that happen again. My life has been so much darker without you by my side, without you to come home to.”

Indy stood in his arms, trying to fight back her tears. How could he be saying these things two years too late? They were exactly what she needed to hear before he left her in LA, the perfect words from the man she had loved.

Brendan slowly pulled away from the embrace enough to look at Indy’s face. He could see the range of emotions flash through her watery eyes as she looked up at him. He raised his hand, gently cupping the side of her face and caressing the apple of her cheek. He took her in, noting how knowledge and experience replaced the naivety that once shone through her blue eyes. The girl he had once known so well had grown into a woman, and she was even more gorgeous than he could have ever imagined.

Slowly, he leant down and cautiously placed his lips on hers, giving in to the urge that had filled him the second he saw her walk through the doors of the hotel. Her lips were as soft as he remembered, and he felt such a strong surge of nostalgia that it nearly knocked him over. How could he have let her disappear? How could he have let their relationship fade away?

“I have missed you so much,” he whispered once he had pulled back from their soft kiss. He rested his forehead against her as he tried to take in everything about the moment.
That was all it took for Indy to regain her senses. This was wrong. This was all wrong!

“No,” she said, pulling herself away from Brendan. She opened her eyes and stared fiercely at her ex-boyfriend. “Don’t say that. You can’t say that.”

“It’s what I feel, Indy,” Brendan replied, reaching out for her once more. Indy took a step back, trying to put space in between the pair.

“It shouldn’t be!” She replied loudly, once more not in control of the volume of her voice. “It’s been two years, Brendan. I haven’t heard anything from you for two years! Not a call, not a text, nothing! How can you expect me to reciprocate these feelings when you haven’t been in my life for two years?”

“Because what we had was real, Indy,” he replied, matching Indy's volume as he spoke with as much passion as he felt. “You were everything to me. I loved you then, and I love you now.”

“I loved you, too, Brendan. I loved you with all I had, and I loved you for a lot longer than I should have,” Indy admitted. “But you broke my heart. It wasn't quick and intense like the movies taught me it would be. It was slow and it was torturous. It tore the moment you got on that plane and left me in LA. Every day it tore more and more, and by the time you stopped returning my calls, it was well and truly broken.”

“You don't think I felt those things, too? There were days I could barely get out of bed! You aren't the only one with a broken heart, you aren't allowed to claim that!”

“Then why did you stop calling? Why didn’t you get on a plane and visit me? Why didn't you let me visit you?” Indy asked, tears finally getting the better of her. She couldn't tell if they were tears of pain or frustration, or a combination of both. She could only feel the hurt of his abandonment.

“I don't know,” he admitted, running his hands through his hair. “I honestly don't know. I would sit there, staring at your number, my thumb over the button, but I couldn’t call you. For months I would plan exactly what I would say to you, tell you how much I needed you, begging for you to come home. But I couldn't.”

“Why? All I needed was you,” Indy said, her voice full of heartbreak.

“Clearly not,” he replied, bitter attitude seeping into his words. “You were too wrapped up in your new career to need me. You had replaced me with your work, even when I was still in LA with you.”

“Excuse me? My new career? So everything I had worked on the previous 4 years was what, exactly?” Indy asked, her attitude now matching his. She couldn't believe him.

“That's not what I meant, Indy.”

“You're so full of shit sometimes, Benson!” Indy shouted, starting to pace once again. “How dare you ambush me, kiss me, and then insult me! It's just too much, Brendan! You're just too much.”

“I'm sorry, OK? I just wanted to see you, Indy,” he replied quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed while he watched Indy pace. He put his elbows on his knees and rested his head in his hands. This is not how it was supposed to go.

Indy paced across the hotel room, trying to get her rage in check. In the silence, she heard her phone ring, and decided to ignore it. She was not in the right mood to talk to anyone right now.

“This isn't going to work, Brendan,” Indy finally spoke, breaking the silence that had enveloped the room. She looked at him, taking in his defeated demeanor. As she spoke, he snapped his head up to look at her, his pain apparent.

“What do you mean?’ He asked, needing the clarification.

“How on Earth are we meant to be working together?” She asked, taking a seat next to him on the bed. She ran her hands through her hair, pulling slightly as the stress took over her. She tried to stay silent, but her next words flew from her mouth without permission. “I thought I would be able to be professional around you. I thought I would be able to push it all aside, but I can't. There is just too much between us. I will never be able to see you as anything but my first love. My first heartbreak.”

“We can change that,” Brendan said, taking a breath before cautiously putting a hand on Indy's thigh, lightly squeezing it. “We can put it all back together.”

Indy let out a groan at his words. Once again he was saying all the right things, only two years later than she needed.

“Brendan,” she started, looking over at him and seeing the hope on his face.

“Shhh, don't finish that. Don't say no,” he urged her. “You're here for the next few weeks, so let's just enjoy the time we have together, and see where it takes us.”

“I can't,” Indy said, trying to speak once again.

“It will be ok, we can just take it slow,” he said, the hope within him growing at the prospect. “We will keep it professional at the studio, I promise. Just please don’t shut me out. I don't think I can handle it again.”

“Brendan,” Indy said, trying for a third time to speak, to reply to his proposition.
Brendan rose to his feet and stood in front of Indy. He looked down at her, taking in all that he could before he made his way to the door.

“Just think about it, please?” He asked her as he put a hand on the doorknob. He didn't wait for an answer before he slipped out of the door and quietly shut it behind him.

Indy let out an inhumane groan as she fell back in the bed, her head swimming from the last hour.

How could this be happening?

After Brendan left, Indy remained catatonic on the bed for at least an hour, her head in her hands as she tried to wrap her head around what just happened. She could only come up with more questions rather the answers to her problems.

She finally arose, deciding to break in the bath for a few hours. She collected her book (she was currently reading ‘Scar Tissue’, the Anthony Kiedis autobiography, and she could barely put it down), her pyjamas and upon seeing the bottle of wine on the counter, she added it and a glass to her collection of goodies. As the bath filled with hot water and lots of bubbles, she poured herself a glass of wine, sipping it and approving of the taste, and then went to collect her phone.

Her stomach churned at the notifications she was seeing.

Zacky – Hey, just want to check in again. I hope you made it to the hotel safely! Call me back soon? I miss your voice.
Zacky - Are you ok? Not dead in a ditch on some side street in nowhere Michigan, right? Let me know you're safe
Zacky - This radio silence is killing me
Zacky - Have I fucked up?
Val - Zacky is losing his mind! Can you let someone know you're ok?

The text messages along with 2 missed calls made her feel extremely guilty. Not only had she forgotten to let Zach know she was safe, which she had meant to do over 6 hours ago, she had now dragged Val into her dramas.

Indy turned the taps of the bath off, the water now filling the tub to her desired level. Disrobing, she slid into the water, a moan escaping her mouth as it enveloped her. She could feel herself relaxing already. With a dry hand, she dialled Zacky's number, staring out at the beautiful scenery as she listened to it ring.

Pick up, pick up, please pick up.

“Hey, this is Zacky. Don't bother leaving a message, I won't listen.”

Indy cursed, hanging up the call before it went to voicemail.

She stared at the device in her hand, willing it to ring. She debated whether she should send him a text message, knowing then she could at least explain herself. Instead she dialled his number again. As it rang, she reached over the ledge of the bath for her wine glass, taking a sip before placing it on the bath caddy that spanned the tub.

[i]“Hey, this is Zacky -”
Indy let out a frustrated growl before hanging up. She knew it was karma's way of saying she was being an asshole, but it was still infuriating. She sent Val a message instead, trying to calm the situation.

Hey, I'm safe. Sorry, busy afternoon and lost track of time. If you see him, can you tell Zacky I'm trying to reach him? Thanks!

After sending the message, Indy tried Zack once more, but hung up once his voicemail picked up again. She set her phone down, away from the water, and picked up her glass. She subconsciously swirled the wine that remained while staring outside.

It was lucky he hadn’t picked up. Indy wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to say to him. Would she tell him about Brendan? If she did, that meant she would have to go into their past, and she wasn’t quite ready to lay that on the line, especially over the phone. It was a confusing situation, one she didn’t fully understand, so how was she going to try to explain it to him?

Indy sunk down in the bubbles, letting the water envelop her to her neck. She took a large sip of wine, letting the fruity tones linger on her tongue. If only she could stay in here forever, away from the world, away from the stress, away from the bullshit.

She polished off the glass of wine, reaching out and putting it on the caddy once more. Reaching down beside the tub, she grabbed the bottle and poured some of the velvet red liquid into the glass. This bath had to be one of the best ideas she had ever had. The first glass of wine had loosened her up, the hot water had relaxed her muscles, and getting to watch the sun dip below the tree line had made her strangely calm.

Gathering her thoughts, and with the help of another large gulp of wine, Indy reached for her phone once more. There were no new notifications, meaning Val had not replied, and Zacky had not tried returning her calls.

After making a spur of the moment decision, Indy pressed call, listening to the same annoying rings that had plagued her when she had first picked up her phone. Finally, on the 5th ring, she answered.

“Reba, I fucked up.”

Notes