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Take a Look At Yourself

Trashed and Scattered

FLASHBACK

The first time I knew something was off was when his looks changed. It was like he no longer saw me as his daughter but as something he could own and take. The man I once admired was gone. That’s when I knew something was wrong, that the man before me was no longer my father.

“Carmen,” Dad said, his eyes following me as I took off my shin guards. “Damian and I would like to talk to you about the game.”

I looked at my father. There was something strange in his eyes. At sixteen, I didn’t know how to place it, so I just nodded my head and went into my father’s office.

My dad’s office was massive. They say everything is bigger in Texas, and they are not wrong. I don’t think my father would understood the word “small” even if he wasn’t from Texas. A large, oak desk stretched half of one wall. Bookshelves filled with law books lined the rest of the walls. Dad’s degrees sat prominently and proudly behind his desk. This was a man that knew what he wanted and knew how to handle business.

Damian and my father were successful. They had built up the largest law firm in the state, and people flocked to them because they would get you off. It didn’t matter if you had actually committed the crime or not, they would make sure you didn’t face time.

Sitting down in one of my dad’s chairs, I watched as him and Damian examined me. I shot them a weird look. There was nothing to examine about me. At sixteen, I still looked like a boy. My breasts had just started to develop, but soccer kept them small. Their looks bothered me.

“What’s going on, dad?”

“You played an amazing game, sweetie. Damian and I would like to reward you for your accomplishments.”

“Reward?” I asked, wondering what they meant. If Dad was going to reward me for something, he usually did it with words or a treat like ice cream. “What are you talking about?”

Damian locked the door to the office and turned around. There was something in his eyes that told me to run, to get the fuck out of here. I stood up, ready to run. My response was always flight. I may have been an aggressive soccer player, but I wasn’t a fighter.

As I moved near the door, my father’s hand landed on my hip. “Where do you think you’re going, Carmen?” He turned me to him and pulled me close.

Fear raced through my brain. What the hell was happening? Why was my own father acted like this? I felt Damian’s arms wrap around my shoulders. He traced his fingers up and down my back and then tugged my shirt up.

I froze. Everything inside of me was begging to run, to get away. Fear filled my throat at the very idea of what Damian was implying. My father wasn’t going to let this happen. There was no way, but he did. His eyes filled with lust as Damian pulled my shirt off. Their eyes took in my appearance. I was sweaty, covered in dirt and grass. My sports bra was old and I was still in my disgusting soccer shorts. But it didn’t matter to them.

“Please, no.” I had found my voice, but it was weak. Did I really think that they were going to listen to me? These were grown men who could easily hurt me, and that’s what they wanted to do.

“If you struggle, it will only be worse Carmen.”

My mind blanked as I felt my father and his partner trace their fingers over me. They undressed me and then themselves. I wish I could say the rest of that day was a blur, but I remember every moment. The way my father pressed his tongue into my mouth, Damian’s hands in my hair, the indescribable pain when they both pushed into me. It was only little snapshots, but it was enough.

And when they had finished, my father grabbed my face. “If you ever tell anyone about this, I will kill you.”

From the tone of his voice, I knew he was serious. Damian was too. There was evil in their eyes. That was the emotion I couldn’t place before. They were pure evil.
**********************************************************************************************************
PRESENT DAY

“Carmen,” Matt said, snapping me out of my memory. “Are you okay?”

I sniffed, moving away from the warm embrace of his arms. It was weird that I had climbed into them. Usually men made me feel incredibly uncomfortable. It was rare that I got close to them, but Matt made me feel safe. It was like being in his arms was just what I needed. The man was… safe.

“You can’t tell anyone, Matt.” I rubbed my nose, snot dripping off my hand now.

He cocked an eyebrow at me. “I won’t, but I’m not going to let this eat away at you. Why can’t you tell anyone?”

Fear shot through me as my father’s words echoed through my mind. “Because they are powerful men, Sanders. If he were to find out that someone knew, he would kill both of us. He’s a lawyer; he knows how to do it and get away with it.”

“He was raping you, Carmen. You can’t let him or his asshole partner get away with that.” Matt stood up, pacing the floor of my living room. Waves of frustration and anger rolled off his body. I had never had someone get angry on my behalf.

“There’s nothing I can do about it now. I’m not at home anymore. He can’t hurt me.”

Hazel eyes flashed. “Honey, you aren’t seeing this from my perspective. He and his partner may not rape you anymore, but they clearly still have power over you. You cannot let them win.”

I sighed. “They already have. Just drop it, Matt.”

He stopped pacing and looked at me. It wasn’t pity that I saw, but it was like he wanted to protect me. Was this man catching feelings for me? There was no way. I was Carmen Harrison, not exactly the type of person who people fell for.

“I’m not going to drop it. I’m going to help you fight this.”

I sighed. “There’s nothing to fight, Matt. Just let it go.”

“Then why were you crying just a few minutes ago? Why were you letting the thought of the paper being published turn you white as a sheet? You can’t tell me that you have nothing to battle.” His eyes met mine. “We’re teammates, Harrison. That means that we fight together.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Okay… you need to know what they did then.”

Notes

Heating up, heating up. Heretic is about to be an asshole!!!

Comments

@overneaththepathofmisery
Awww glad to be back! I think I'll be doing weekly updates since I officially have my weekends back!

My Heri is back! *hugest giantest hearty eyes*

@violetshade
HIIII! I've missed you all! Yay gas money! Glad you are all moved down here and looking for job!

Oh don't worry, the boys will think of something.

AHHHH! SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!!! Once I get a job I'll have gas money to come see youuuuuu!!! Good to hear your school and health is going well, I really hope that continues!
Also can't wait to see what the FUCK happens to her dad (hopefully something absolutely horrifyingly awful).

@HereticBlood6661 as sad as it makes me having you step away, I know that you will be back, and you can bet your ass I’ll still be, girl! I’m MORE upset about your poor health, honey. Do they have any ideas what’s causing your full body issues? Do they have a plan of attack for treatment? Don’t be a stranger! Sevenfold makes us family ;) <3 I’m wishing you luck with your Masters, I know they can be a a complete mind fuck. What are you doing your Masters in? Remember, YOU’VE GOT THIS! <3<3<3