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Mibba

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Take a Look At Yourself

Come Back to Me

The couch was my refuge. Since the cute, dimpled football player had taken me home, I hadn't moved. The couch would be my new home. This is where I would stay, this would be the place I would live. At least, that's what I kept telling myself as I willed myself to actually get up. I had homework to do and needed a shower. But the couch was my new home.

The thing was, I hadn't had a reaction like that in years. It had been so long since something like that happened that I had convinced myself it would never happen again. How wrong was I? You never expect it to happen again, and that's exactly when it happens. Why would I let myself get bad like this again? Why would I let myself appear weak in front of the football boys?

"Carmen," Heather said, cautiously entering my apartment. "Honey, you've got to get off that couch."

I turned to her. She was my best friend, but I didn't want her to see the tears in my eyes. Everyone at this school knew me as a strong, independent woman. They couldn't see the weaknesses I had.

"Heather, I'm fine."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Bull fucking shit. You need to tell me what's going on with you. I've known you for four years, and I have never seen you like this. So, what the fuck, Carmen!"

I turned back to face the couch back. I had demons, just like any one else. The thing was my demons were not things I revealed to others. The demons were weaknesses, and my father always said never to reveal a weakness. If someone knew your weakness, they knew too much. Never let anyone get close to you. Never let anyone see the real you.

"Carmen, you can't just ignore me. I'm not going to go away." Heather sat down next to me. She gently touched my arm. "Please, you're my best friend."

My eyes watered at her words. This was my best friend, and because of my father, I was unable to talk to her. She was the one I could tell anything to, but not this. If I told her what was making me like this, she would never let me out of her sight.

"Heather, it was just a rough day at the field. I'm fine, I promise."

She sighed. "Yeah, then why did Matt call me? That jock would never call if it wasn't important. He's a total dummy, honey. So the fact that he reached out to me says something."

"He's just being stupid. It's fine, Heather."

"Fine." She stood up and left. I could tell I had pissed her off.
**********************************************************************************************************
My phone rang. My heart dropped as I read the name that flashed across my screen. I had to answer it though. Not answering it would be worse. Not answering it would be death.

"Hi, dad," I said, masking the tears that had filled my voice.

"Carmen Marie Harrison, you are in so much trouble." His voice was low, worrying me. "Did you know that your school called me? I didn't think school's called parents anymore, especially considering that you are twenty-two years old. You better fucking explain yourself."

He, he was the reason why I was the way I was. My father was an abusive asshole. He would verbally abuse me to the point that the mere idea of yelling made me flinch. And if we didn't respond to the yelling, it would descend into the physical violence. This man terrified and how Coach Peterson grabbed my arm today reminded me of my father.

"I just got into a little trouble. We resolved the problem."

"That's not what I heard. My understanding is that you were kicked off the soccer team for your aggressive behavior."

I sighed. "Dad, I can explain."

"I don't want to hear it, Carmen. We will discuss this when you are home. Until then, I hope you've got a job because your rent is being pulled until we can discuss this situation in full."

My stomach dropped. I couldn't do football, school, and a job. I would have to find a roommate to cover some of the rent. My father always did this. This guy was a fucking jackass, and I had to deal with him... because he gave me life.

Notes

Dun, dun, dun. Why do my stories always lead to this?

Comments

@overneaththepathofmisery
Awww glad to be back! I think I'll be doing weekly updates since I officially have my weekends back!

My Heri is back! *hugest giantest hearty eyes*

@violetshade
HIIII! I've missed you all! Yay gas money! Glad you are all moved down here and looking for job!

Oh don't worry, the boys will think of something.

AHHHH! SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK!!! Once I get a job I'll have gas money to come see youuuuuu!!! Good to hear your school and health is going well, I really hope that continues!
Also can't wait to see what the FUCK happens to her dad (hopefully something absolutely horrifyingly awful).

@HereticBlood6661 as sad as it makes me having you step away, I know that you will be back, and you can bet your ass I’ll still be, girl! I’m MORE upset about your poor health, honey. Do they have any ideas what’s causing your full body issues? Do they have a plan of attack for treatment? Don’t be a stranger! Sevenfold makes us family ;) <3 I’m wishing you luck with your Masters, I know they can be a a complete mind fuck. What are you doing your Masters in? Remember, YOU’VE GOT THIS! <3<3<3