Know Me By Name

I stared at Matthew. Did he really think that the Council or Heaven would let me or Alex back in? While I appreciated his sentiment, I had plans here on Earth.

“Heaven?” James was incredulous. “Do you really think your Angel Council will allow Kaylee back in? From my understanding, they were the ones who made her Fall.”

Matthew’s gaze flitted to the warlock. “I have been away from my family for centuries.”

“And you think they want to return to Heaven?” Brian asked, folding his arms over his chest. “Zander has never even been to Heaven. And from what Kaylee has said, I doubt she’s keen on returning.”

Matthew stared at me. We had been apart for so long, it was like we had to learn each other all over again. My love had changed, hardened. The entire reason I had reached out to Gabriel was because my other half had changed. Was he even the same angel?

“The Roses are right, Matthew. Heaven is not my home anymore, and it has never been our son’s home.” I placed a hand to his shoulder. “I cannot return. Earth—the Roses—they need me here. I am a Guardian, after all.”

His hazel eyes flashed. “Why did you reach out to Heaven then?”

James looked at me. This was a question he had wanted answered for years. My own son looked at me as did all the other Roses. Matthew was probably not the angel they had expected, and they wanted to know why I had called out for him.

“Oh, Matthew.” I took a deep breath. “When I Fell, all I wanted was you and our child. The Fall pulled him from me, ripped Aleksander right out of my stomach. I watched my wings shed and turn to ash. Everything I had known changed. My powers were gone and your name was black on my chest.

“When I landed, I had no idea where I was. New Orleans in the 1800s as a woman—at least in appearance to Man. Without James finding me, I would have died. It was James that found our son. Neither of us would be here without the Supernatural.” I paused to stare at each of them.

“Kaylee, that doesn’t explain the message I helped you with.” James’s eyes glowed. The warlock was frustrated, just as the others were.

“Thirty years ago, I had a vision. It was eerily like the visions I had as head Guardian. A soul was crying out for me.” My eyes locked with Matthew’s hazel. “You, Matthew. Your soul sought my powers out. My vision showed a changed angel. You were not the love I had known. You had grown cold and violent. Matthew, you were succumbing to the death you carried out. I had to get Heaven’s attention. I had to see if my love had changed. I didn’t believe it would work.”

The room grew unreasonably quiet. The Roses were never speechless, and Aleksander was just breathing it in. Matthew stared, flexing his chest and arms. Anger I had never seen from him rolled off the angels of death.

“What vision, my love? Can you describe it?” The anger had turned to confusion. Perhaps I had been wrong about his emotions.

I swallowed, afraid to speak it into existence. The Roses still didn’t fully grasp what my powers were or what Matthew’s powers could be. While I had plans, I still feared how the Roses would react to our powers. Truly only James knew what I could do and in comparison to Matthew, what I could do meant nothing.

“Matthew, the vision wasn’t pleasant. I saw you chasing someone you’d never catch. You were taking on an impossible task and turning into something I didn’t recognize. It worried me.”

Matthew’s brow furrowed. I could see his thoughts churning and then it dawned on him. He stood up. “Can we have the room for a minute?”

The Roses left, James pulling Aleksander out with him. Something about Matthew’s voice made them rush out. I had never seen my love like this. It was truly terrifying.

When the Council room door shut, Matthew moved a hand over his arm. He has a list of names all over his body, but we could only see the ones that he had taken care of. No one knew the others. No one was supposed to know the others, especially not the Guardians. My job was to protect; his job was to hunt. It was why we had worked so well together.

When he removed his hand from his arm, I saw a bright, white name. It was big and bold and clear on his body. It wasn’t a name that should have ever been on his body. That name was impossible.

“Matthew?”

“Was this who I was hunting?”

I nodded. Was my vision going to be true?”

Notes

I know I’ve been away again for a long time. I wouldn’t be surprised if you all had given up on me at this point. As grad school starts, I definitely will not be updating as much, though I will try. My nana died, and her death hit me harder than I thought it would. As I worked my way through her death and having to speak at her funeral, I also found out the expense of tuition. I’ve been stressed from that and dealing with my relationship with my father and a boy I am crushing on.

About a week ago, I found out that the benign cyst on my brain stem was growing. And while it’s still benign, they are worried. I was going to tell my boy about it, but his friend went into surgery today for a brain tumor and his twin is in the ER, incredibly sick. I couldn’t bear putting more on his plate. But… I am worried. Brain stems… are a difficult thing. And it explains a lot of my health issues. Thanks for sticking with y’all.