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Dear God

Prolouge

*6 Years ago*

It was a normal day for me: attend my classes at the local university and then head to the studio to watch Matt and his friends record their record. Matt was my best friend and lead singer of a relatively new band named Avenged Sevenfold, and he was also my boyfriend of almost a year. I had been attending gigs and recordings with him and his four best friends. It was always a good time with this group of guys. Zack, Brian, and I were the three amigos that were inseparable and often got into trouble.

As I was walking into the building, my phone rang and I smiled when I saw that it was my mom.
“Hi Mamma!” I greeted her, sending a smile to the young girl who worked the front desk of the studio.

“Hi baby girl, you’ve got a second to talk?”

Those words stopped me in my tracks. Matt saw me stop and raised an eyebrow before getting up and joining me. “Of course, what’s wrong?” I breathed.

“Do you want the good news or the bad news first?” She asked,

“Guess the good news first.” I shrugged even though she couldn’t see it.

I smiled gratefully at Matt as he took my hand and lead me to an unoccupied room. As soon as the two of us were inside, he shut the door before sitting on the couch and pulling me to sit on his lap.

“Are you sitting down?”

I groaned. “Yes mom, I am. Now tell me!” I chuckled, some excitement building.

She took a deep breath. “I’m pregnant.”

I shrieked, I couldn’t help it. “What?! That’s wonderful news mom! I’m so happy.” I looked behind me at Matt. “I’m going to be a big sister!” I smiled even wider when Matt tightened his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest, planting a kiss to my cheek. “Matt say congrats,” I chuckled.

“Oh good you’re with him.” Mom said quietly, almost to herself. “Alright Caroline, I’m about to rain on your parade.” She warned in that scary tone that only moms could pull off. There was a long pause as I waited for what else she was going to tell me.

As I waited, I thought about all the things that would change with having a younger sibling. Was I expected to move back home? Did I want to move back home? Who was the baby’s father? That was something mom and I were really going to have to talk about because last I knew she wasn’t seeing anyone, but she wanted more kids after my dad died when I was ten.

Suddenly I was aware of a soft sound coming from the receiver. Was my mom crying? “Mama?” I asked softly.

A few shaky deep breaths later my world came crashing down. “I have c-c-cancer too.”

I froze. My smile dropped as did my phone. I was vaguely aware of Matt calling my name and shaking me slightly before reaching for the device discarded in my lap. Pregnant. Cancer. My mother was pregnant and had cancer. “Funny joke there God.” I thought to myself.

“Car, babe. Your mom has more she needs to talk to you about.” Matt said softly, pointing my cell phone in my direction. He handed me the phone but I didn’t raise it to my ear right away. “I’m here for you baby. I’m here.” He cooed, gently rubbing my back and kissing my head.

I took a deep breath and finally raised the phone to my ear with a shaky hand. “Mama?” I whispered.

“Listen to me baby, I’m working with the doctors to do everything we can. I’m carrying this baby to term and then I’m going to start treatments. Chemo and radiation are required. It’s going to be tough, but your aunt and Suzy are going to help out as much as they can. I want you to stay in California and finish your year. Do you hear me Caroline? I don’t want to see you here until you’re on spring break or school is over for the year.”

“Are you crazy?! There is no way that I’m staying here knowing what’s going on. No way!”

“Caroline, you’re going to be doing nothing here. You’re going to worry. You need to finish school and worry from there. I will need you when the baby is born.”

“But mom…”

“No buts. You stay in school. Stay with Matt and Brian. Stay in California. I love you sweetheart, but you’re a worrier and I don’t need that constant nagging. Let your aunt worry about that.”

“I don’t like it” I pouted. I wanted to throw a full blown temper tantrum, but I knew that wasn’t going to help anything.

“I don’t care. Now, go spend time with your friends and boyfriend. I love you, Caroline.”

I sighed. “I love you too mom, please keep me updated?”

“Of course. I will talk to you later.”She said before hanging up.

I let my phone drop into my lap again and turned my body to bury my head in Matt’s chest, sobbing. He didn’t say a word. He just let me cry and scream as he comforted me the best he could. I don’t know how long we sat there, but knew it was long enough for the rest of the guys to start wondering where we were. As if they could hear my thoughts, the door swung open.

“Found them!” Brian yelled over his shoulder and walking into the room. “You know there are bathrooms for quickies right?” He wiggled his eyes brows at us with a smirk.

“Not now, Gates.” Matt growled.

I shifted and looked at my best friend. “It’s okay Matt.” I glanced back at my boyfriend. “He needs to know.”

Brian’s confusion was clear. “I need to know what?”

“Two things. One, my mom is pregnant.” I smiled sadly. Brian grinned and sat next to Matt and me.

“That’s awesome! Suzy had mentioned that your mom had news. I know you’re excited. Hell you’re the only one I know who was jealous when Mckenna was born.” He teased.
I nodded, but couldn’t bring myself to show my excitement. “That’s not everything though. When mom went in for her pregnancy confirmation, they discovered she also has cancer.” I choked out.

Brian slouched in his seat. “Shit.” He mumbled, running a hand through his hair. He looked at me and I was aware of the tears streaming down my face. “Fucking hell.” He hissed, wrapping his arms around me, ignoring Matt behind me.

I wrapped one arm around Brian and reached back for Matt’s hand. Aside from being with my mom, there was no other place I’d rather be when getting the news. I knew these guys, once everyone else knew, would be with me every step of the way.

*Matt’s POV*

I watched as Caroline laughed as Jimmy and Johnny did what those two dick heads did best--beat up on each other in the most loving way. I loved these crazy mother fuckers, Caroline included. Even though we’ve only been dating for less than a year, I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with her.

Seeing her so excited one second and completely destroyed the next killed me. I didn’t know what to say to her. What do you tell someone when they find out their only family member has cancer? I was at a loss, but I knew I had to be there for her.

Brian joined me on the couch and leaned forward, watching Caroline as well. “She’s so strong. I’d be curled up in a ball right now if I just got the news she got.” He chuckled humorlessly.

“She’s amazing. But she’s putting on a front—that’s clear. She needs a distraction.” I groaned. “Fuck man, I can’t tell her about tour now. It would absolutely kill her.”
Brian nodded in agreement. “But she needs to know, man.”

I ran a hand down my face. “I have six months to tell her.” I said softly, taking a sip of my water. Brian didn’t say anything and I was thankful for that. I had no clue how to tell her that we were leaving almost a month early for tour, that they added dates right around the time her mom was due. I knew she would choose her mom over me in a second and it killed me even though I understood.

I just wanted my girlfriend with me on tour. I didn’t want her hundred of miles away from me.

*Caroline's POV*
*Six months later*
Matt and I sat around the Haners’ pool as the rest of the guys swam around. I had just told him that I was leaving for home earlier than expected. He had been silent for some time now and I knew he was upset.

“So you’re leaving?” He growled, crossing his arms.

I nodded. “I’ll be back after the baby is born. I made sure I’ll be back before you guys leave for tour.”

“So I don’t even get to spend time with you before that? That’s great Caroline, love you too.”

“Did you not just hear a word I said?” I screamed, ignoring the looks sent our way. I was still a little freaked out about being a big sister and I didn’t really want to leave this place for any length of time. “I’ll be back three days before you leave. I’ll be here to send you off. Then April, Michelle, Lee and I will be joining you for a week or two.” I lowered my voice. “and I do love you, Matt.”

He uncrossed his arms and ran a hand down his face. A clear sign that he was frustrated and was trying to keep his anger in check. “Then why am I just now finding out you’re leaving?”

“Because I was afraid you’d act just like this, Matt. You haven’t been very subtle with your annoyance when it comes to my involvement with my mom.” I sighed. “I knew you could be an asshole, but I thought “Mr. Family Man” would understand. I never thought you could be this big of an asshole towards me. Forgive me for being a love struck fool.” I pulled myself out of the chair I was lounging in and stood in front of Matt with my hands on my hips. “I leave the day after tomorrow. Will I see you?” It was lame and complete opposite of the “fuck you” attitude I just threw at him, but I wasn’t lying when I called myself a love struck fool. I did love him and I wanted to see him before I left for a month and half.

Wordlessly he shrugged and turned his attention away from me, clearly ending the conversation with me. I blinked back tears as I walked away from the only man I could love. I said my goodbyes to the rest of the gang before grabbing my purse and keys and going back to the dorms. I wasn’t sure if I’d get to see him when I got back and that broke my heart.

Notes

Hello fellow Deathbats! Welcome to my crazy world.

Drama. Drama. Drama. That's what this story is going to have a lot of, but it will also have a good dosage of fluff, smut, and humor. So please stick around and take on this wild ride with me. While this is not my first fan fiction, it IS my first one surrounding our favorite guys.

I want to give a huge thank you and shout out to violetshade for helping me out with editing and giving feedback on this! <3 <3

Please tell me what you think! What's going to happen with Matt and Caroline? Will they break up?

Comments

Loved loved loved the updates!! More soon please!

Nicole Nicole
1/12/19

@violetshade
I loved writing Jesse so much, I love the relationship between he and Carrie and I can’t wait to develop it more.

Im glad you and @Buggaloo liked the ending, I really wasn’t too sure about it. It seemed rushed and just thrown together so I’m really happy it didn’t come across that way!

Le sigh.
I have no idea why you were unhappy with that ending for this chapter. It felt natural and perfect. I loved it!

Buggaloo Buggaloo
1/9/19

Oh, man. What a chapter. Jesse's so frickin' adorable when he's all shy and finally asks! SO MANY HEARTY EYES. Matt's POV so sweet! Then you're a fucking tease (although I have to admit the jokes about him jerking off are HILARIOUS). Then Care practically kung fu's that bitch! YAS!!! Glad Matt reassured her that the abortion business didn't have to do with him.
And YAY they're moving in together!!! That part was so awwwwww and cute and adorable and siiiighhhhh. And, I like the ending!!

The "if Zacky and BDSM is your thing" made me chortle so hard. I'm like, is this not a thing to everyone with eyes? Oh, right.....it is definitely my thing though! SO GET WRITING!!! haha. *grabs whip and gets cracking*

I love how she went all mama bear.

BeccaBearSc BeccaBearSc
1/9/19