The Music We Make

I woke up the next morning, groggy from the lack of sleep I had gotten. All night I drifted in and out of weird dreams, and in between each one I thought about the events of the evening. I couldn’t get Brian out of my mind and the words he spoke to me. Did he really feel that way, or was he just trying to hook up with me? Part of me regretted pushing him away and I kept thinking about that kiss he stilled owed me. But, overall, I was proud of myself for how I handled things. I couldn’t just let him take advantage of me and I needed to know what he truly wanted.

I heard a soft knock on my door, but I didn’t move from my spot from under my covers. “Yeah?”

Andrea peeked her head in. She was in her pajamas still, and I could tell she hadn’t slept much either. Coming into my room she said, “Can I join you?”

I nodded and she came over to my bed, slipping under the covers next to me. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry I couldn’t come last night,” she told me.

“It’s ok, Andi. You had to work.”

She sighed, “I know, but I’m tired of working! And school! It’s all just too much and I keep missing out on important moments. I really wanted to be there.”

“It’s ok! Really, I understand. It was kind of a shit show anyways,” I said with a tired chuckle.
I then explained to her everything that had happened. How I had a wonderful performance, but also what happened with Brian.

“I need to meet this guy,” she said with a laugh, “And kick his ass!”

I laughed, putting my hands over my face. I mumbled, “That won’t be necessary.”

“What are you going to do, then?” she asked.

Sighing, I dropped my hands behind my head. “I have no fucking clue.”

“Seems to me that you need to just wait to see what his next move is. He knows where you stand, so he needs to decide what he wants and he can come to you.”

“Yeah,” I said, agreeing with my friend. “I just want him to make that move sooner than later.”

“What do you think he’s thinking?”

“No clue. He’s hot and cold with me. One day he’s mister sexy, flirty guy. Next day, he’s sad, brooding-over-my-ex guy. I need him to just be the former,” I said, chuckling a little.

“Totally,” Andi said. “He needs to be over her completely.”

“I feel like there’s more to the story, too,” I told her. “I was told they hadn’t dated that long or anything, so it feels weird to me that he’s so upset. But everyone else made it seem like he was just being pissy over his bruised ego.”

“Not cute,” Andi said.

“Yeah, agreed. But at other times he’s so fucking cute I can hardly stand it.”

Andi laughed. “Like I said, Rosie, I really think you’re just going to have to wait and see.”

I sighed, “I know. It just sucks.”

We laid there awhile longer, talking about other things, catching up with each other after not having seen each other in awhile. She had been so busy with school and work that I only saw her a few minutes each day. This was the most amount of time we’d spent together in
ages.

“I have some exciting news,” she said eventually.

“You’re pregnant!” I joked.

“Oh, Jesus! No! Besides, I’d need a man for that,” she said with a laugh. “But seriously, I am off work tonight! No school or work for this bitch!”

I popped up from my position in the bed. “We have to go out!”

She laughed, “That’s what I was thinking. And I kind of want to meet these men that have been consuming your time lately. Would they be up for going out with us?”

I thought about it for a moment and said, “Probably. They love a good party.”

I grabbed my phone and texted Matt right away. I figured he was the only one that would reply to me this early on a Saturday morning.

Rosie: Hey! What are you guys up to tonight?

Matt: I was actually just about to text you but didn’t want to wake you up. Should have known you’d be up early on a Saturday.

Rosie: LOL

Matt: Anyways I’m having a BBQ at my place tonight around 6 if you want to join.

Rosie: Sounds fun! Can I bring my roommate Andrea?

Matt: Sure! Bring bathing suits!

Rosie: Awesome, text me the address. See ya!

Andrea was extremely excited at the idea of getting out of the house and doing something that would actually be fun. I promised to be the designated driver for her and everything. She needed to have fun and let loose. And I had a feeling that with these guys, it would be easy for her to do.

-0-

I was 6 o’clock and Andrea and I hadn’t left our apartment yet. She was freaking out about what to wear as I sat on her bed, waiting for her to get ready.

“I wish this wasn’t a swimming thing,” she said finally after searching through her closet. “I’m too fat for this shit.”

“Andi, stop. You have a gorgeous body,” I told her, meaning it. She was curvy in all the right ways.

“Not as nice as yours. Wish I had your flat stomach,” she said with a sigh.

“But I wish I had your rack!” I said with a smile. She was much more well-endowed than I was.

She laughed, grabbing a cute sundress. She slipped it on over her navy one-piece bathing suit that extenuated all of her curves. She looked adorable in her little light blue dress. Her brown hair fell in waves over her shoulders and she had really beautiful natural makeup on.

“Perfect!” I told her, then questioning what I had on. “Should I wear a dress too?”

“Nah, you look hot,” she said with a grin. I had on my black bikini with short, ripped jean shorts, and a maroon tank with a mesh back. It was more my style than a sundress would be anyways.

We grabbed towels and packed extra clothes, just in case. I grabbed the bottle of vodka that was in our freezer as well, then we were out the door.

When we got to Matt’s house, I parked on the street. Andi looked a little nervous, which was kind of out of her character. She was normally the outgoing one, while I was the shy one.

“Hey, you alright?” I asked her before getting out of the car.

“Yeah, I’m good. I’m just a little nervous; I haven’t been to a party in a long time.”

“I get it. These guys are so awesome and I think you’ll get along with them really well. You’ll like Val too. I’m not sure if Michelle will be here or not. Anyways, we have booze and hot guys, so it will be fun,” I told her with a grin.

She laughed. “Ok, let’s go.”

We got out of the car and walked up to the front door, ringing the doorbell. Zacky opened the door and let us in. I swear his mouth dropped open when he saw Andi and I couldn’t help but smile. He stuttered over his greeting, totally taken by my friend. Andrea noticed this as well and she blushed as she shook his hand when I introduced them.

“Uh, everyone’s out back,” Zack said. He led us out to the back patio where everyone else was. We placed our stuff down by the door and I handed Zack our vodka. Val was the first person we saw, so I introduced her to Andi.

“Nice you meet you! Rosie told me all about you!” Val said with a smile.

“I hope that’s a good thing,” she said with a laugh.

“Andi, that’s Matt, Jimmy is in the pool with Johnny. Jimmy is the tall one. You met Zack.
Brian is over there,” I said, pointing to him. He was laying on a pool chair, shirtless. I took a breath before continuing, “The guys sitting by the pool are Matt and Jason Berry. They’re roadies for the band.”

“And Michelle, my sister, is in the kitchen. She’s my twin, but she has brown hair,” Val said. So she was here, then. This would make the evening interesting.

I walked Andi around, formally introducing her to everyone. I noticed that through this, Zack couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He was sitting next to Brian, which gave me a good idea.

When we were alone again, I whispered, “Ok, so Zacky is drooling over you.”

She giggled a bit, “I noticed. Didn’t want to think too much of it.”

“Are you into him?”

“He’s really good looking,” she said with a blush. “I don’t really know him, though.”

“Come swim with me,” I said with a little wink. “They won’t be able to look away.”

She noticed then how he was sitting with Brian and she nodded. “Good idea.”

We both stripped of our top layers, revealing our bathing suits to the crowd. Jimmy gave a wolf whistle, making me laugh. We walked over to the pool and Andi dipped in her foot to feel the temperature. I didn’t bother and jumped right in, making sure to splash Jimmy and Johnny as much as possible.

“Damn it, Rosie!” Johnny yelled.

“We need to have a cannon ball contest after that shit,” Jimmy said.

Andi eventually made her way into the pool and we chatted with Johnny and Jimmy for awhile. They were so hilarious, we were practically crying in laughter. I saw Zack and Brian watching our exchange the whole time. Brian had on sunglasses, so I couldn’t really tell what expression he really had, but I could tell Zack wanted in on the action. Eventually he came over and sat by the pool. I gave Andi a little nudge, and she moved over to him. When they began talking on their own, I left the pool, knowing my job was done.

When I got out of the pool, I made sure to stretch my body right where Brian could see it. I knew I looked good in the bathing suit; it made my butt look big and it showed off my tattoos. I messed with my hair, putting it up into a messy bun, and walked over to get my towel. I made sure to bend over at just the right angle as I grabbed it, then looked over my shoulder at Brian. He was definitely staring. I gave him a grin over my shoulder, then walked away into the house.

It felt good being a tease, honestly. I wanted him to know what he was missing. Normally I wouldn’t be like this, but I already knew he was attracted to me, so why not? I knew he had some shit to figure out, so I was hoping to speed up the process.

Michelle was still in the kitchen when I walked in, and I instantly felt awkward. She had been nothing but nice to me, but I felt bad about everything that had been going on. Did she know about what was going on between Brian and I?

“Hey, girl,” she said when she saw me. “I was just cutting up some fruit.”

“Oh nice,” I said awkwardly. “I just came in for a drink.”

I went ahead over to the plethora of alcohol and mixers that they had and made myself a Jack and Diet Coke, as usual.

“Rosie, can I ask you something?” Michelle said, taking a break from cutting the watermelon.

I swallowed nervously. “Yeah.”

“Are you and Brian together?”

I shook my head, “No, we aren’t.”

She nodded, “I was just curious. I didn’t want you to think I’d be mad or anything. I saw how he was flirting with you yesterday.”

So she did see then. “Yeah, that’s basically all it’s been.”

“I’m glad, to tell you the truth. I adore Brian as a friend, truly, but we just didn’t work together. I want him to be happy. I hated to see him so upset after we broke up,” she told me.

She was so cool, I thought to myself. Not all girls would act like this. So I told her, “That’s really cool of you, Michelle. But honestly, I don’t know what’s going on between us. He’s giving me mixed signals.”

Michelle nodded, “I’m not surprised. He’s not always the best at sharing how he feels. But trust me, if he’s showing interest in you, he really does mean it.”

“I don’t question that,” I admitted, “But I wonder what his intentions are. I told him all of this, though, so I’m just going to wait and see.”

She laughed a bit. “Well, good luck with that. To tell you the truth, you might have to push him a little bit. He’s a proud man. Anyways, will you help me take out this food?”

I nodded, putting down my drink and picked up the food that had been prepared. I felt conflicted. One on hand, I felt like he should come to me and make his move, to show me how he feels. But, on the other hand, Michelle, who know him really well, didn’t agree with that perspective. I didn’t know what to do. All I knew was I wanted him to want me, and I wanted him to tell me himself.

Notes

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