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The Music We Make

Mixed Signals

It was a struggle to get out of bed and get to work early. I even had to result in drinking Diet Coke for some caffeine right when I got to work. I hated the taste of coffee and normally I didn’t need it. But my head was pounding and I was definitely riding the struggle bus today. I had my hair in a messy bun and I was just wearing jeans and a hoodie. I even had on leftover make up from last night. I was a total mess.

I was still the first one there, of course, because that was my routine. Thank goodness there was left over donuts there! Nothing better than donuts and Diet Coke, I guess…

As I was stuffing my face with a somewhat stale donut, I heard the door open. I tried to clean myself up, but my mouth was full of the pastry and there was only so much I can do. Before I could even turn around to face who was there, I heard him chuckle at me. Brian was here.

“Cute,” he said, walking up to me. “Good donut?”

I paused mid-chew, my mouth stuffed full of powdery donut, shocked and embarrassed by his presence. I swallowed hard and nodded.

Brain laughed at me and walked closer. He reached out and brushed some powdered sugar off of my bottom lip with his thumb. I could feel my face heat up and my stomach knotted at his touch. Especially seeing his sexy smirk as he did it. He let his thumb drift over my lip longer than necessary and he stared into my eyes, freezing me to my spot.

Before I could move or say anything, the rest of the guys came through the door, followed by the other producers. Brian moved away from me then, hiding whatever had just happened between us. Maybe I was reading into it a little too much, but my heart was beating way too fast.

Johnny looked a little rough; his hair was flat and he had sunglasses on. The rest of the boys, however, looked just as good as ever. They clearly had done this before. I was envious of how cool and collected they all seemed after last night.

“Let’s get to work,” Matt said with a grin, smacking Johnny on the back. He groaned and sauntered off into the main studio and we all followed, laughing at him the whole way.

-0-

Once we got to work I felt a lot better. Brian and I were very focused, and besides his little sideways glances, not much was exchanged between us besides music. It was a lot different from our first few days together; he was nice, did what I asked, and never gave me attitude. I didn’t really understand why the sudden change occurred, but I wasn’t complaining.

Zack sat back on the couch behind us and I couldn’t help but notice how often his eyes would close. He didn’t have a lot to work on quite yet. Maybe he was more hung over that I had originally thought.

We took a break around noon for lunch. When Brian, Zack and I went to the lunch area, Matt was there talking with Val. I didn’t even know that she had shown up. As soon as we walked in they got quiet and tense.

“Can I talk to you?” Val asked Brian sweetly. He nodded and followed her outside, grabbing his jacket and cigarettes. He seemed tenser then he had been a moment ago.

“Everything OK?” Zack asked.

“She just wants to talk to him about what happened last night,” Matt answered.

I was confused. “What happened?”

Matt sighed. “After you left, we were all pretty hammered. We all should have called it a night when you did, but of course we thought we could handle another hour or two of partying,” he said, rolling his eyes. “But anyways, Brian was being a huge ass. I don’t know what happened. He’s been so fucking moody lately.”

“Because of Michelle?” I asked.

“She didn’t do anything wrong,” Matt defended. “She was drunk last night, asked him to dance a few times, and he was a total dick to her.”

Zack said, “Yeah, she asked him while you were still there. But, after you left, she ended up dancing with some other guy. Val said they already knew each other and it was just friendly, but Brian was pissed.”

“Jealous?” I asked.

“I guess so. When she came back from dancing they got into it. He said some pretty mean things to her, honestly.”

I sighed, not knowing what to think about all of this. It was like the Brian I knew was two different people; the brooding asshole, and the super nice, flirty guy who I really wanted to kiss. I wish I had only seen the latter, but unfortunately I wasn’t surprised by anything Matt and Zack said.

“I’m kind of pissed honestly,” Matt said after Zack explained. “I mean, just because you aren’t happy about a break up doesn’t mean you have to be such a dick.”

“Yeah, especially since we’ve been friends with her for so long.”

Before I could say anything, Val came back in. Brian must have stayed outside to finish his smoke.

“Well?” Matt asked.

Val told us, “He feels bad, I think. He knows he made a huge ass of himself. He said he’s going to call her and apologize. I think he’ll be out there for a bit.”

“Good, he needs to apologize to her,” Matt said.

“Matt,” Val started. “I know what he did was shitty, but cut him a little slack. He’s not used to getting dumped.”

Zack laughed at this. “He needs to get over himself.”

“Well, it does suck. Michelle was one of his only girlfriends, you know,” Val said.

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

“Well, he’s not really the one-woman kind, if you know what I mean,” Matt said with an eye roll. “He’s usually the one who calls the shots.”

I thought about last night and how easy it was for him to get under my skin. Every little glance, the slightest touch, and those damn winks had really gotten to me. Was I just another girl for him to use and throw away? I wouldn’t let that happen. I did not want to deal with the awkwardness, and frankly the pain.

“Alright, let’s stop talking shit. It’s an awkward situation, but it will blow over,” Zack said.

We all ate then, shooting shit and goofing around as we ate. Johnny and Jimmy had joined us, making the afternoon even funnier than before. Brian had returned after his smoke break, but he was quiet now, brooding in the corner of the room. I didn’t feel bad for him like I did before. I didn’t know the whole situation, but it was not attractive how he was handling this.

I wanted to talk to him about what was happening and see if I could help, but I didn’t know if Brian saw me as someone who he could trust or be friends with. I couldn’t help but think if he was just trying to use me as a rebound. Everyone made it sound like they hadn’t dated long, so why was he so upset? Was it truly heartbreak or just hurt pride?

After lunch I worked more with Zack than Brian, but Brian sat on the couch and watched everything we did. When Brian and I worked, Zack didn’t talk much. Sometimes he’d give minor suggestions or his approval, but it wasn’t often. Brian, on the other hand, would say something after each take, which was getting to me. Zack would play his part perfectly and Brian would find something wrong with it.

“Ok, Syn, I fucking get it,” Zack said after being criticized for the fifth time. “I get you’re in a bad mood or whatever, but chill out.”

Brian didn’t say anything, but looked away from us, as if he knew Zack was right. He didn’t say sorry or anything to him, showing me his pride yet again. He was mostly quiet for the rest of the session, but would give feedback when asked. It made the process so much smoother, I had to admit. And when everything was said and done, we had all of the guitar parts
recorded for Bat Country done by the end of the day.

“Alright!” Zack yelled when we finished, dancing in his chair a bit. “Time for a beer!”

He left us then, skipping off into the kitchen area. I laughed, then looked at Brian, who had a slight smile on his face.

“You happy with everything?” I asked him.

“What? I mean, I had a shit day, but I guess I’m happy.”

“I meant with the recording today,” I said sheepishly, feeling guilty.

“Oh. Yeah, it’s great,” he said, getting off of the couch.

“Look, Brian. If there’s anything you need, let me know,” I told him. I just wanted him to know that I could be a friend.

He nodded but didn’t say anything. I stood to face him and stared into his eyes. He looked away from me then, somewhat sheepish.

Sighing, he said, “Sorry about today. I told you I wouldn’t be like that anymore.”

“It’s ok, I understand,” I told him, even though I didn’t really.

He sighed again and laughed a bit, saying, “Let me make it up to you.”

My stomach tied up in knots at the thought of what that might mean. He moved a little closer toward me, and as his hand moved toward my waist, alarms went off in my head. Wasn’t he just brooding over some other woman like five minutes ago? What did he expect from me?

I stepped away from him, turning to leave. “Don’t worry about it,” I said softly, walking out of the studio.

My mind was reeling the whole walk to my car and the whole way home. Every look and touch from Brian made me nervous and excited at the same time. It was all so confusing and frustrating. But he had to know that I was not just some rebound.

Notes

Thanks again for the subscriptions and reviews :)

Comments

@Nicole
I had some ideas in mind but nothing’s on paper yet. I am actually working on something else now... :)

@Ghost-On-A-Sea-Of-Wine
thanks! <3

J.J. J.J.
4/3/19

Loved loved loved this story! Are you still thinking of a sequel???

Nicole Nicole
3/16/19

Sorry I disappeared on ya, there. But I just caught up and finished this today. Cute ending. :)

@overneaththepathofmisery
Thanks <3

J.J. J.J.
12/23/18

So. Frickin. Sweet. <3 <3 <3