The Music We Make

I woke up early the next morning, not quite used to the sleeping arrangements quite yet. Last night it seemed okay, but now I realized just how tight of a squeeze it was, sleeping here next to Brian in his bed. I wondered if there was a spare bed that I could have to myself, but didn’t want to make Brian upset. Rolling to my side, I draped my arm over him, trying to fall back asleep.

While lying there, I heard Matt and Val’s voices coming from the front area of the bus in hushed whispers, clearly trying to avoid waking other people up. The coffee pot was brewing and I think someone made toast. All of this in combination with my full bladder made me get out of the bed, trying my best not to make Brian stir. First stop was the bathroom, then out to the front area.

“Morning, sunshine,” Matt said, not even looking up from the newspaper he was reading. He and Val were sharing toast and coffee, making me grin at the sight. They really looked like the Mom and Dad of the group right now.

“Morning,” I said, yawning immediately after. I made my way over to the toast to make my own, skipping the coffee.

“What’s on the agenda today?” Val said to me.

I shrugged. “Brian wants me to watch them play tonight. Other than, nothing.”

Val frowned. “We wanted to show you how the merch booth works tonight.”

I shrugged again, not wanting to upset either person, even though Brian wasn’t awake yet. I didn’t say anything in return, just went about making my toast, figuring that the situation would solve itself eventually.

“I’m gonna go to the camp showers,” Val said, getting up from her seat. “They are surprisingly better than the one on our bus.”

I laughed then, thinking about how I should probably shower myself, but I wasn’t quite awake enough yet. Matt and Val kissed before she left, taking a shower caddy and clothes with her. Matt continued reading, ignoring me all together, but there was something I really wanted to ask him.

“Matt?” I said eventually. He looked up with a raised brow, so I continued, “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he said, putting the paper aside.

“I don’t know if you heard what happened last night,” I said sheepishly, lowering my voice just in case Brian was awake back there.

Matt nodded but didn’t say anything, probably unsure of what to say himself.

“Well, Brian said that he slept with that girl before we got back together. But some of the things she said, well… I don’t know. I guess I’m just nervous that it happened when we did get back together and I left for those few days. Not necessarily with that same girl, but I wasn’t here you know, and Brian seems to attract a lot of girls, like a lot of girls were waving to him last night and flirting and stuff and-”

“Whoa, slow down, Rosie,” Matt said with a laugh. “You are nervous he cheated on you? Seriously?”

I looked down, almost ashamed that I had asked, but I didn’t know what else to do. Maybe Matt wasn’t the person I should have asked. So, quietly I said yes and looked back up to him.

Matt sighed and said, “Rosie, no. The moment I called you about Dear God, everything changed. You came back, the two of you made up, and that was it. There were no other girls. Shit, Brian didn’t even smoke a joint and hardly drank while you were away. He didn’t want to do anything stupid and mess it up.”

I let go of the breath I didn’t know I was holding. “Thanks. He said the same thing.”

“Why didn’t you trust that?” Matt said, clearly upset with me. “You can’t have a healthy relationship with someone that you don’t trust.”

“I was just unsure after what happened yesterday. You weren’t there, Matt, you didn’t see. Girl after girl waving to him or stopping to flirt with him. Then that stupid girl tried forcing her way in here. It was just a lot to process and it made me doubt things.”

“What Brian did while you two were broken up is not wrong, Rosie. You should understand that. He didn’t think you’d ever get back together. He was like a lost puppy and was just trying to feel again. You really broke his heart, and those girls, who all looked similar to you by the way, all were just a way for him to try and forget you, but he just couldn’t. I’m sorry, Rosie, I’m just annoyed by this conversation.”

“I’m sorry, Matt. I just didn’t know what else to do. And I knew you’d be honest with me about it,” I said sincerely, guilty that I hadn’t trusted what Brian told me. “I’ve never been the crazy jealous type before. This is new territory for me too.”

“I get it. It’s hard for Val even. Girls will always try and flirt and hook up with us, as long as we’re famous at least. I mean, Jesus, we are all super sexy after all,” he said with a grin, making me laugh. “But in all seriousness, it is unfortunately something we all have to deal with. You just have to trust that Brian loves you and won’t stray, or else this won’t work.”

I nodded, knowing he was right. “Thanks, Matt.”

“Yep,” he said, going back to his newspaper and coffee.

I decided to start my day then, moving outside to the area under the bus to grab my suitcase. From there I got what I needed and headed towards the direction of the showers, knowing Val was probably right about the shower quality. I found them easily, happy that most of the campers hadn’t woken up quite yet, or at least had opted not to shower. There were small stalls for each shower, barely concealing each woman inside, but no one seemed to care. I walked to the nearest one, stripping off my clothes once I was inside.

The water pressure wasn’t that great, but the water was hot and that’s all I cared about. As I let it soak my hair I closed my eyes, letting myself drift off into thought to calm my mind. I felt guilty about accusing Brian of cheating, but I knew my feelings were at least somewhat justified. This whole situation was just strange for me and I needed time to get used to it. Sure, at home an occasional person would recognize Brian, but I didn’t think as much of it; a lot of times it was just someone who had known him before he was famous. It was different here and it was weird. I don’t know why I hadn’t expected it, honestly.

I washed my hair and body, trying to clear my mind of it all together. There was no point of dwelling over it. The only thing I wished at this point was for people to know that he was taken, that there was no point of them even trying. But Matt said it still happens to him, even though he and Val have been together for years. I knew I just needed to get used to it.

Eventually I shut off the shower, sensing that other women would need to use it soon. I dried off in the stall, awkwardly getting dressed while trying not to get my things wet. Grabbing my things I walked out, figuring I could tame my hair back on the bus. That was until I saw Val in the front area of the shower house were there were mirrors and plugs for hair dryers.

“I forgot my brush,” I said, looking through my things. I heard her chuckle and offer her own to me and I took it, not caring to dig through my stuff on the bus. “Thanks.”

“Are you okay?” she asked me, sensing a sadness in my voice.

“I am just feeling like an asshole already today and I’ve only been awake for an hour,” I joked, laughing at myself. At Val’s raised brow I explained what happened earlier.

“Hey, I get it. Matt shouldn’t have been so harsh. It’s hard to get used to it. Andi had to adjust to it too. It was a little different for me since I’ve been here since the beginning, but you should talk to her about it too.”

I nodded. “I will. She’s always really honest with me. But last night she and Zack didn’t know if Brian had been with anyone since we got back together, so I just felt like I had to ask. Matt confirmed Brian’s story. Now I just feel like a dick for not trusting him.”

“I’m sure he’d understand. Especially after the whole Jenny thing,” she said to comfort me, gathering up her things. I walked out with her, not bothering to dry my hair, and we headed back to the bus. I was happy that Val had been a good friend, not scolding me, but understanding where I was coming from. But I couldn’t blame Matt for his reaction either; he wouldn’t want his girlfriend to think that way.

When we got back, more people were awake and buzzing around the area. Johnny and Brian were out having their morning smoke, bedhead still intact while they leaned against the bus in their pajamas. I giggled at the sight and headed over to Brian, waiting to kiss him until he put out the cigarette. He took his final drag and put it out, blowing the smoke away from me before he leaned down to kiss me. I smiled at him and Johnny, saying good morning.

Johnny waved hello then walked away, going back into the bus while muttering something about coffee. I chuckled as he walked away, then turned my attention back to Brian, who was staring at me.

“What?” I asked, giving him a look.

“It’s nothing. I’m just happy you’re here. I was a little nervous when you were gone when I woke up,” he admitted, running his hands through his already messy hair.

“The bunk is so small, I needed to move,” I told him. “Plus I had to pee.”

He laughed at me then said, “You can have your own bed if you want. We have one extra.”

“Maybe on nights I really want to sleep well,” I said. “But I like sleeping with you.”

Brian nodded in agreement, grabbing my hands. “I’m going to shower,” he said, kissing me before going to the bus to get his things.

I went inside after him and saw Andi and Val sitting at the table, going over some sort of spreadsheet. As soon as they saw me, Andi waved for me to sit with them and started going over the information. It was all about the merch they had been selling, an inventory of sorts. Val was noting what items needed ordered before the next tour stop.

“It’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it,” Andi told me with a shrug, seeing the look on my face. Numbers weren’t my thing, and seeing the data in front of me made me uneasy.

“Yeah, it’s actually fun sometimes,” Val said. “When people aren’t rude to us, anyways. The people from Warped Tour are really cool about everything, just some of the fans can be weird.”

“Yeah, a lot of them recognize Val and ask her a million weird, personal questions,” Andi explained. I nodded in understanding, realizing how annoying that must be.

“Comes with the territory,” she said with a shrug, looking at me in the eye as she said it. I smiled back at her, knowing that was a hint for me.

The three of us stayed there for awhile, going over numbers and how the merch booth worked, the other two girls excited to have some extra help. I mentioned to them that Brian had wanted me to watch them play tonight, but Andi basically ignored me while Val had a sour look on her face. I didn’t press the issue further.

“Hey Val, come here a second,” Matt called from outside of the bus, sticking his head in the doorway to see if she was there. She got up and followed him out. Looking out of the window, I could see her talking to Brian and Matt. At one point they all looked at me, then back at each other. Val had a huge grin on her face.

“Wonder what that’s all about,” I said, more to myself than anything.

“Who knows,” Andi said absentmindedly, still looking over her spreadsheet.

Val came in a moment later, telling me I was off the hook for merch duty tonight. Andi looked up then, surprised, asking why.

“Brian asked,” she said with a shrug. “It’s her first night on tour to see them. She can help us every other night.”

“She saw them last time she was here,” Andi said, practically pouting.

“Hey, once I get the hang of the booth, you two will be able to leave to watch too. We can take turns,” I said, trying to make peace. I could tell Andi was annoyed and probably a little bit jealous that I didn’t have to work.

“That sounds fair,” Val said. She changed the subject then, avoiding any issues Andi may have had.

The rest of the day went by slow. We spent time in the bus, played cards, went to watch some of the bands, and ate a lot of really bad food. It was all so normal that I finally felt myself relaxing. It was nice to know that there were some moments out on the road that were mundane and almost boring. It was oddly comforting.

A few hours before the show, Brian grabbed my hand and dragged me off of the bus, leading me to the picnic area we sat at the night before. He told me he just wanted to me alone with me for a little while before they had to go on stage.

“I need to kiss you now,” he said with a grin, leaning in to kiss me. We were sitting on a bench at one of the tables, as close as possible. He leaned in, putting his hand on my face before fiercely kissing me, clearly not caring who saw. I wasn’t a huge fan of PDA, but after yesterday, I hope all the girls at this stupid campground saw it. I let him enter his tongue in my mouth, grab my hips, and nibble at my bottom lip.

He broke apart from me far too soon, resting his head against mine. “I love you,” I whispered.

“I love you too,” he said, moving to kiss my forehead. “I’m surprised you let that happened.”

“I want all these bitches to know that you’re my man,” I said with a grin, laughing at how stupid I sounded. He laughed in return shaking his head.

“Don’t worry, baby. Soon enough they’ll all know,” he said, kissing me again.

“We should get going. Your show starts soon,” I said to him, moving off the bench.

“Oh, not yet,” he said, yanking me back down. I fell onto his lap and he started kissing me again, causing me to moan at the touch. I broke it off when I felt him getting excited beneath me.

“We can’t have that,” I teased, getting off his lap. “You don’t want to be tired before you go on stage.”

He groaned and then laughed, following me back towards the bus. We saw the rest of the band heading towards us and we met halfway before turning around to go to the stage area. I was excited to hear them play again, but honestly more of my excitement came from the looks I was getting from the girls we passed as Brian held my hand the entire way there. I loved it, I couldn’t lie, which was odd for me; like I told Matt, I usually wasn’t the jealous type.

We made it to the stage and immediately things changed; Brian let go of my hand and I got to witness the hustle and bustle first hand. I was instructed to wait in the corner, out of the way, and I was glad to do that. All I cared about was seeing my love play tonight.

Notes

Short, I know. And kind of a filler chapter, I know. But the next chapter will definitely have more excitement, I promise. I'll have it posted soon- I just need to finish and edit it.

xoxo JJ