The Music We Make

I woke up earlier than Brian, slowly untangling my legs from his. I quietly slipped on some clothes, simply putting on my panties and one of his t-shirts before throwing my hair into a messy bun and leaving to go downstairs. I was happy that Brian had his own place, where it was no big deal to walk around in only my underwear and a shirt.

I saw one of Brian’s acoustic guitars lying next to the couch and I couldn’t resist. I picked it up and sat on the couch, strumming out a few notes to make sure it was in tune. I figured that Brian wouldn’t mind me playing; it wasn’t his prized pinstriped Schecter, after all.

I began playing a song I had been working on for a few days, and it was a little different from anything I wrote before. It has a sexy vibe to it, but sounded a little country as well, but I liked the tone and the lyrics. I hummed along as I played, trying to warm up my voice a bit. Softly, I began to sing the second verse of the song.

I forgot about this room
And the view above
The things I fear it towers.
And this new feeling you again
Makes me open up just like a flower.
Longer…
Could you stay a little longer?
Longer…

I felt the couch shift next to me as Brian sat down, moving to face me and watch me play. I couldn’t help but giggle and stop as he sat there with a grin on his face.

“I hope you don’t mind me playing your guitar,” I said.

He shook his head. “You could play it all day as long as I get to hear you sing.”

I blushed, looking down at the guitar. “It’s even better when you sing along.”

He smiled and moved closer to me. “I don’t know if I could help contribute to your country song.”

I laughed. “This is hardly country, Bri. Maybe has a little influence but I ain’t got the twang,” I said with a fake accent.

Brian chuckled and said, “Ok, ok. I’ll sing with you. Show me the rest.”

Before I started playing, I got up, telling Brian to hang on for a minute. I went to my things and grabbed by journal, which I always carried with me. Inside were the lyrics to this song. I started playing again, showing Brian the song from start to finish as he read along. I sang what he would sing and he followed, and slowly I added my parts. Once we had practiced, we started from the beginning, Brian singing in his falsetto.

Alone, I’m home. I’m home in my head.
But now that it’s gone, I’ve grown,
So I’ll want this instead.
Together we sang the chorus, me harmonizing lower than him. I continued with the same verse that I had sang earlier and after we repeated the chorus, we moved to the bridge.
Cause I want to give you more boy.
Nothing in return.
Oh I did wait for you, darling…
Did ache for you, darling
And now you’re here.
I want you to stay.
Longer, Could you stay a little longer?

We repeated the chorus, softly fading out together as the song ended. I looked up into his eyes, seeing the love and desire there, and I felt warmth. Whenever we made music together I felt this way- loved, warm, and just plain happy.

“Never thought I’d sing a country song,” Brian joked after we finished.

“Country music has some of the best stories, love songs, and breakup songs. You know it,” I said with a grin.

“And which category did the fall under?”

“A love song. How you know your love for someone might not be the most practical, but you ache for it anyways,” I told him, putting down the guitar.

“I like it,” he told me. “I feel like it could be in a movie.”

I laughed, moving to drape my legs over his. “Maybe someday.”

“We should get going to the studio, baby,” he said softly, literally lifting me off the couch. I laughed as he carried me upstairs to his bedroom, laying me back on the bed.

“But they can wait a little longer,” I whispered. He grinned and moved to kiss me, his hands touching me in the exact right place…

-0-

We were a few minutes late to work, which gained us a lot of shit from the members of A7X, and annoyed glares from Fred and Mudrock. I made sure to seem as professional as possible the rest of the day as we worked, not wanting to be on my boss’ bad sides.

At this point we had essentially finished the album, but were spending time listening to it and deciding which tracks to keep and cut and if there were any changes needed. The guys had all pretty much agreed on what tracks to keep at this point, so we were all sitting in the main studio, listening through each track and dissecting it, deciding if it needed any final editing or if the guys needed to record something over.

It didn’t take long to get through the first track; the guys were really happy with everything that was produced. As soon as we decided it was ready to go, the boys got off track, talking about how awesome it was going to sound when they were on tour. Eventually the conversation turned into one about the show itself and how they wanted it to look.

“I hope we have enough money to pull all of this off,” Zack said with a laugh, referring to the Rev’s idea about having a giant skeleton behind his drums.

“Hopefully once you guys announce your release date and start promoting the album, you’ll get enough hype to earn you a lot of money,” Fred said. “Get talking to Larry about that as soon as possible.”

Larry was the manager of the band, and the guys nodded, knowing that they needed him to help get them set up with interviews and ways to promote the new album. We sat and talked about this ideas before Mudrock encouraged us to continue worked, and we moved on to the next song.

I stayed pretty silent as they all talked about what was to come, bad thoughts creeping up into my mind again. Thoughts of them leaving on tour made me anxious and nervous; I did not know what it would do to Brian and I. I tried to force myself not to think about it, but I couldn’t help it; I had a career and a dream to worry about.

The rest of the day went smoothly and we finished two of the songs, approving them for the album. We knew that we wanted to take our time with this part of the process and that even while working on this the guys could start promoting. They were all so excited about it that they called it a day earlier than usual, and Matt even had Larry on the phone before he walked out the door.

I didn’t have to stay to work with Paramore tonight, so I walked out with Brian, hand in hand. We had all decided to go to Johnny’s Bar for a few drinks and the guys wanted to keep talking about tour ideas. Brian and I listened to old country music on the way there, joking still about this morning. I defended the importance of country music and how great the lyrics could be, but he would just bring up Taylor Swift as a defense. We laughed, but I put on some Johnny Cash and the argument ended; Brian knew I was right.

We snagged a table at the bar when we got there, bringing over enough chairs for everyone. Brian went to the bar to get us some drinks, and the rest of the guys came in shortly after, their girls in tow. Andi sat next to me while Zack got them drinks, and Val was across from us. Jimmy and Johnny did not bring any girls with them, but they were already hitting on the first two they say when they walked through the door.

Eventually we were all at the table, drinking and talking about the tour. Andi and I mostly listened since we had never been on a tour before and didn’t really know how things worked. I was fascinated by Val through all of this, how she was right in on the action with everything. She had been on tour with them before, had even sung with them. I just wish I was brave enough…

“Damn, I can’t wait!” Johnny said, slamming his beer onto the table.

“You just can’t wait to get laid as much as possible,” Zacky smirked, slinking his arm around Andi. “Some of us don’t have to wait until tour for that.”

Johnny gave Zacky the bird and we all laughed, hooting and hollering as Zacky and Andi kissed. Jimmy and Johnny continued talking about their exploits while on tour, mentioning all of the hot, and not so hot, girls they messed around with while on the road. Matt rolled his eyes more times then I could count, but he still laughed along. Brian seemed uncomfortable beside me, shifting in his seat every time the guys would bring up a new story. I was confused as to why until Johnny mentioned Cherri.

“God she was so fucking gorgeous,” Johnny said, taking a swig of his beer. “But definitely the biggest slut I ever met.”

“Hey!” Val said, smacking Johnny on the back of the head.

“Ok, ok! I don’t use that word lightly, ladies. She literally slept with the entire band. Except Matt, of course.” Johnny said defending himself.

I felt Brian take a deep breath and saw his eyes glance in my direction, seeing if I would get upset from this news. I bit my tongue, knowing that this was just a normal part of being a rock star, and that it was in the past. We had both slept with other people before being together, so I couldn’t get upset about that.

“Zacky hooked up with her first, and passed out right away because of how hammered he was. She came back out to the party, fucked me, then Johnny, then Brian. She was fucking WILD. None of us even knew what the fuck was happening because we were so drunk. Brian was even dating that Josie girl, right? But, fuck, Cherri was the best,” Johnny said, slurring his words slightly before he downed more of his beer.

I couldn’t help but look over at Brian this time. He was dating someone else and cheated on her? I felt my stomach curl in disgust and disappointment. I never thought I would feel this way about my man.

“Hey now,” Brian said to begin defending himself. “I dated Josie for like a week before that happened and I ended it immediately after. And like Johnny said, I was drunk out of my mind.”
I tried to wrap my brain around his words, tried to agree with his justification. But I still couldn’t help but think: cheater, cheater, cheater.

“Yeah, we all know, Gates. It was in the past. This tour will be more about the music and less about the fucking,” Matt said. He looked at me when he said it, as if he knew I was upset. I stayed quiet, not wanting to say anything stupid that I would regret.

“But we’re still partying!” Johnny said, giggling in his drunkenness.

Brian’s hand moved to my leg and he gave it a gentle squeeze. I looked at him and he said, “Rosie, really. It was a long time ago. I was caught up in the touring and feeling like a rock star, you know?”

I nodded, but didn’t say anything else. I was pissed, upset, and didn’t know what to do. Andi looked over to me, sensing my annoyance. She grabbed my hand, pulling me off of my chair and towards the bathroom, telling everyone we’d be right back. It wasn’t the most slick move, but I was happy to be away from everyone for a moment.

As soon as I walked into the bathroom, tears fell down my cheeks. I tried to cover my face, annoyed with myself for crying, but Andi put her arms around me, rubbing my back.

“Are you ok?” she asked eventually once I had calmed down a bit.

“This whole time I have been afraid of what’s to come for us. I knew that being on the road had to be full of wild parties and shit, but this? Not comforting,” I said, moving away from her.

“Well, it won’t be an issue if you go with them,” she said, folding her arms over her chest.

“Who knows if that’s even true,” I said softly, more to myself than to her. “I don’t even know if I’d go. It’s not like he’s asked or anything.”

“You know he will.”

“I don’t, Andi. I feel like I don’t even know him right now…” I told her, looking away from her.

“You’re just processing this information. Like Matt said, it was in the past, Rosie. You’ve been dating a lot longer than he and that other girl had been.”

“But who’s to say he won’t get drunk and do it all again?” I said, laughing from the frustration. “Shit, her name was even just like mine.”

Andi chuckled at that a little, then came next to me, putting her arm around my shoulder. “You are not the same girl. You and Brian are in love, we all know it. It’s different, Rosie. Give it a chance and live your life to the fullest, not in fear.”

Her words reminded me of the same ones Jimmy preached to me. I nodded, turned to the mirror, and freshened up. Taking a deep breath, I walked out the door back to the bar, trying to put all of the negative thoughts behind me.

Notes

Th song is Longer from the show Nashville. I’m not the biggest country fan by any means, but I do appreciate it and think people knock on it too much.

Anyways, thanks for the comments again! I know where I want this story to go and where it will end, it’s just getting it to that point that’s giving me trouble. Comments and feedback are greatly appreciated!

xoxo JJ