Shadows watched in horror at the transformation before Him. Her pained cries had turned into screaming and now He hovered over her body.
“Diem, baby,” Tears sprung to His eyes as He held her face in a hand, “Don’t do this to me, baby--”

Her amazing body began changing. The pregnant belly flattened, limbs lengthened as sinewy muscles formed. Her chest flattened to a strong, if still small, male chest. The hair and lips stayed the same, but the face hardened slightly--the jaw becoming more defined. Desperate eyes stared back at him as one changed to the bright glowing green of Zack’s, the other staying the beautiful dark blue of his wife’s.

The terror in her eyes faded as it was replaced by full consciousness of the thing on the bed under Him.
It looked Him up and down and Satan shivered as He hopped off the bed.

“Where is she?” Shadows folded His arms, looking away from the body that sat up at the edge of the bed. In its transformation, her clothes had been shredded and it sat there naked. It was mostly male, a feminine looking one. The Devil had seen many monstrosities in His time, but had to close His eyes momentarily when He glanced up and realized it had both body parts.

“She is me, darling. You don’t approve?” Its voice was double-toned, a feminine and a masculine voice speaking unnervingly as one.

A tear slipped down the Dark One’s face, “Give her back to me,” He choked out.

At hearing her cries, Synyster had run into the room and now just stood there slack-jawed and staring. Shadows put up a hand and clothed the being before turning to Talarico.
“How do I fix this, Tal?!”

The scarfed one began to pace, “I haven’t seen the likes of this in centuries. Well, I’ve never seen it personally--I’ve heard of it. Go see your bookkeeper, she’ll know what was done last time.”
Shadows balled His fists, “The Brigids? Are you serious?”
Tal snickered, “Afraid of your history lesson, are we?”

The Wicked growled and narrowed His eyes, “Fine. Whatever it takes to get my wife back.”

He angrily strolled towards the door and the thing stood between Him and the door, arms folded. It smiled, revealing its razor sharp incisors, “Aren’t you at least curious, dear? Just once?” It sauntered towards Him and Shadows grabbed its hand before He could be palmed.

Knowing this thing was His own offspring, and still His own love, He fought to be nice, unable to find words that wouldn’t be hurtful. He forced Himself to stay calm and only looked over at Synyster, “Gates, keep this thing in check?”
The demon could only nod, still in shock at what he was looking at.

*****

Shadows flashed to the darkly wooded area that held Hell’s library. A hill stood in front of Him with a small wooden door. Hundrends and hundreds of years ago he had spent countless nights here--being endlessly teased by the Brigid Sisters. One was poetry, one was a healer, and one a smith. They were all wisdom. They all wanted Him.

They tried for centuries to convince Him that they were the ones for Him, but He never believed them. He would let them do things to Him, though, and stop them when He had to. Eventually they caught on that He was never going to yield and they gave Him an ultimatum. So he stopped seeing them--for that anyway.

Every once in a great while He had to go there, and it was always interesting. The last time….they’d made Him fuck a long line of things out of existence as they watched--demons, vamps...animals.
He shivered at the thought and knocked.



All three beautiful redheads answered the door, their dancing brown-red eyes lighting up at the sight of their King. Opening the door further and bowing to let Him enter, they all smiled and giggled.

“Your Highness….so good to see you…” They spoke together in perfect harmony. It had always creeped Him out and turned Him on at the same time, “At your service.”

He stood almost to the ceiling in the room. They each only came up to His chest, so they were perfectly comfortable there. Numerous hallways snaked off from the main room--stretching for miles back into the hill--holding all of Hell’s history.

“Brigid…” They all had the same name and refused to answer to anything else. It got confusing often, “I’m sure you’ve heard I found a Queen--”
“Yessss. Lucky demon.”
“She is the mother of my children and I love her. Her most recent birth did not go well…” He stopped there, knowing they would know what happened. They were wisdom, after all.

The three sisters looked at each other and whispered together, actually into one another’s ears like they were teenage girls--eyeing Him up and down as they did so.
Shadows let them, folding His arms and raising an eyebrow when they took longer than He liked, “Girls? I know you can help me,” Now He turned on the charm, walking up to them and touching each of their faces fondly, “What’s a man got to do?”

Rich amber eyes got wide and their pale cheeks colored. One disappeared for only a second, reappearing with an ancient book in her small hands, biting her lip as she flicked through the pages, “Ah, yes. Here it is.”
When Shadows reached for it, the book disappeared, all three girls giggling.

“You know what we want, Shadows. Each one of us. Just tell us when to stop, and we will.”

He sighed, putting out a hand to indicate for them to lead the way to where He already knew their bedroom to be.

Wanting to get this over with as fast as possible, the huge figure attempted to strip and also not run into anything until they were all huddled on their enormous bed--fiery eyes gazing up at Him.
Stroking Himself as they watched in awe, Shadows sighed once again, “Alright, you guys going to pull straws or what?”

****

Once all three of them were satisfied, Shadows on the edge of crying in frustration, He focused on his task.

“What do I do?” The King wiped his face off with his shirt before putting it back on.

“You need to find another being as powerful as you are, and use your minds to separate them.”
“As powerful as I am? There’s no one in Hell like that.” He wasn’t even being cocky, just stating the fact.
“I know,” They spoke together, “But they do exist.”
“And this works? It’s been done before?”
“Yes and no. Your wife is stronger than the beings that befell this before, so the beings that pulled them apart didn’t need to be as powerful as you. You are the only one stronger than she is.” They all fixed their long, curling red hair but only one looked at him as they spoke in unison, “It has worked about as many times as it hasn’t. Sometimes they separate, sometimes they both die. But it is the only way.”

Shadows ran His hands through His hair, “Fuck…” He turned to them sadly before leaving, “Thank you, Brigid.”
“Come back soon, Shadows.”

*****

When Shadows re-appeared in His own room, seething and body bristled with want, His eyes fell over a scene He definitely wasn’t expecting. Gates was smoking a cigarette, a lazy smile on his face--in His bed with the sheets barely up to his waist.

It lay next to him, that vampiric smirk on its face.

“Really, Gates?? Did it fuck you or did you fuck it?”

“Yes.” Synyster grinned unabashedly--knowing he should be horrified at the events that had just gone down, but too satisfied to care.

The grin dropped off the thing’s face as it stared at the Devil, “Hey, I’m right here.”

“I had half a mind to come back here and fuck you, I’m so hard up, but if you fucked him that means I can, too, remember?” His eyes flashed at Synyster as the color left the smaller man’s face.
Sauntering over to Syn’s side of the bed, Satan threw the covers back and yanked a naked Gates up by the hand. Stealing the cig from his other hand, Shadows took a long drag before putting it out on the bedside table.
“Shadz, I--I just--”
Narrowed firing hazel eyes met wide, frightened brown as the smoke slowly left His mouth and nose as He spoke,

“I didn’t ask.”

Shadows grinned at how easy this was going to be--Synyster already fucked open and on his hands and knees. Quickly ripping open another condom and shoving it on, the Dark One leaned over Gates, “This won’t take long, so if you plan on getting off again, I’d hurry up.”

Before the words were even out of His mouth, Synyster felt the steel length push inside him. Eyes rolling back, he had to admit it felt amazing. As he wrapped his long fingers around himself, they both looked over to find the thing pleasuring itself--winking back at them.
Shadows squeezed His eyes shut, trying to block out the creature in His bed and focus on the tight hole stroking Him. Fortunately, He’d been so close--three times already in the last 45 minutes--that the ball of heat built fast. Grabbing Syn’s hips tighter and thrusting harder--Shadows groaned as He came hot.

The creature snapped the nightmare shut before Gates could even realize he was in it. Shallowly thrusting in His aftershocks, He grazed perfectly over where it mattered most inside Syn and the demon came.
Staring in horror, the two that were joined watched the androgynous looking thing also fall apart, moaning in the two voices as it came. They found themselves wondering exactly what it was getting off, everything it was doing being covered by the sheet.

Gates pulled off Shadows and turned around, whispering up at Him, “It’s actually quite fascinating. Also kinda fucked up, but….interesting.”

Satan’s brow furrowed as He gave Syn a look, “Gates--” He just shook His head, unable to finish His thought, “I’m going to Heaven and I’ll be back very soon.”

******

Notes

Just...wtf????

In my head the "Brigid" is with a soft G, like "brigade". They are sometimes considered a triad goddess of Celtic origins.