Coming Home

It had been awhile since I had seen Charlie. The last time I could even look at him was the day of Rae’s funeral. All the love that we had had between us had disappeared the instant her body was covered in dirt. And while we wanted to try for the love of our life, we couldn’t live a sham or a lie. The only reason we worked was because of her.

Seeing Charlie now just reminded me of all I had lost. My life was never meant to be perfect, that was clear now. Apparently neither was Rae’s. she had lived life like every day would be her last, and it still hurt to think that her last was so long ago now.

I smiled at the man with the blue eyes. Though it was hard to see him, it felt right. This man was the only person that knew my grief. He had lost friends, been in war, and felt love like no one else had. Rae loved with her whole being. She was very much a loving, caring person.

“Matt, it’s good to see you.” His huge arms wrapped me up, made me feel like I was home. “I’m glad you reached out.”

I smiled, flashing my dimples. “Me too. I’ve missed you.”

His eyebrows raised in shock. “Really?”

“Of course, Charlie. I know we needed to move on in order to heal. I’m glad you were able to. I think Anita and Mark are really good for you. But for me, Rae was it. So to see you again, it helps me remind me of her.”

Charlie put a hand to mine. “Matt, you are a weird guy. But you have to know Rae would want you to move on eventually. You can’t just challenge your grief into your music.”

I smiled at him. “Well, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I… I have found someone else. I want your blessing.”

“Why would you want my blessing?”

I bit my lip. This was the moment I was afraid of. Technically, I had found someone else. This someone else was Rae. My Rae. I wanted Charlie’s blessing to let me continue to be alone. Everyone thought I needed someone else in my life. Rae was it though. She was my life and while I would never kill myself, I didn’t want anyone else but her.

“Rae is my someone else,” I said.

“You sound fucking crazy, Matt. I’m not going to give my blessing for you to love a dead woman! She’s fucking dead! She died! We BURIED HER!”

I swallowed the spit in my throat. “It was closed casket, Charlie. Let me ask you this: are you really happy with Anita and Mark?”

He looked away from me. “It will never be what the three of us had, but at least I’m staying grounded in reality! You’ve gone fucking bonkers.”

“Come on, Charlie.” I nodded for him to follow me. This was the part that I was going to have the most difficulty with. I knew that if Charlie believed me and could trust me so could everyone else. It was going to be so hard to actually do it though. It had taken me fucking years to believe the truth.

Charlie’s eyes grew as we came to Rae’s grave. “Matt, what the fuck?”

I swallowed again. My mouth was very dry. I watched as Charlie took in the sight of the unturned grave. There was a huge pile of dirt and the coffin rested on top. Charlie looked pissed as hell, and I could understand that. The caretaker wasn’t really happy with me either.

“What the fuck did you do?”

Sighing, I took a minute to collect my thoughts. “I had this sinking feeling that never really seeing Rae’s body wasn’t the full truth. Remember that we were Special Forces people. We knew how to prevent things from happening and while a shooting like that can’t be predicted… does Rae strike you as the type to just go out with a death? So, I had the grave looked into.”

Charlie folded his arms over his chest. I could tell he was ready to stab me to death. He was supposed to be the calming force, but I was acting crazy right now. I’d been acting crazy since after our gun control speeches.

“Get the fuck on with it, Sanders. You’re starting to really piss me off.”

“Look in the coffin, Charlie.”

The big man took a step forward and opened the coffin. I knew he would see what I did. The coffin was empty. We had buried an empty coffin, knowing that Rae had apparently been shot so badly, it had to a closed casket. We had never argue that fact. Now I wish we had.

“We… we buried an empty coffin? Matt?”

“I think Rae’s alive.”

Notes

Well, I am so sorry I left you all for so long. What can I say? It has been a series of events that I wish I could take back. The fact of the matter is, I have had a rough 2 months. It feels like ever since that mechanic sexually assaulted, my life has had lots of lows. Suffice to say, two ER visits later... I have kidney infection. Thank you all for staying with me and this story. I'll do my best to update more frequently. Love y'all.