Coming Home

"Matt, are you sure that you want to do this?" I asked, reading over the entire statement he had written. It was very heartfelt, but I feared that even the Deathbats would come for him over this. It took a lot of courage for him to even write this, but it was him that would see the repercussions.

I was lucky that we were in California. The school I worked at couldn't legally fire me just for the relationships I was in. And for the most part, they were pretty okay with any kind of relationship as long as it was abusive or had pedophilia involved. Rae was incredibly lucky because she ran her own business now.

Matt stared at me, his hazel eyes narrowing at the tone of my voice. Despite what people may have believed, Matt and the rest of Avenged were incredibly smart men. All people had to do were isolate the lyrics and they would be able to tell just how smart the man was. The lyrics were deep and meaningful, especially in The Stage.

"Why? Is it bad?" I could actually hear fear in his voice. This was the man that never had fear, that never showed it. He was the big, muscle-bound lead singer of the biggest metal band in the world, and he was scared.

"No, it's really amazing. The thing is, Matt, that the Deathbats may not even react well to this. You're not easing them in. It's almost like you've been lying to them for years. And honestly, I think a the letter is beautiful, I do. But," I said, pausing to look over the man I was quickly growing feelings for. "I think they deserve more than a letter."

He sighed, rubbing a hand through his hair. "So what are you thinking?"

"Get a video set-up, have the guys there, and Rae and me. Talk to them, talk to them how you talked to Avenged. Those fans are as much your family as the boys are." I pressed a kiss to his cheek, my stomach tingling at the contact. It was weird that he was giving me the same feelings Rae did, but I was totally behind it.
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Rae fixed the collar of Matt's blue flannel. I had to roll my eyes at the sight of him in another flannel. I was convinced he didn't own any other shirts that weren't cut-off band shirts and different colored flannels. The man needed a makeover.

"Are you nervous?" Rae asked, running a hand over his jaw. I liked seeing the two of them interact. It was like watching all those old feelings of love burst forth at one time. They were beautiful together, and I loved it. I was so thankful that Matt had come to me about this.

"Hell yes, I am. I just don't want anyone to hate us for this." Matt turned to the Avenged guys. "I don't want anyone to hate you guys for this. This is our living. I'm only doing it with your say-so."

Johnny was the first one to speak up, surprising all of us. "You know what, Shadows, you need to sit down and shut up for just a hot minute. It always comes back to how we feel and what it means for Avenged. Well guess the fuck what? This is your life, Matthew. We are all millionaires at this point. If we are abandoned by our supposed fans, they weren't real fans to begin with.

"We are going to love you whether you decide to do it or not. The important thing is that you are finally feeling good about yourself. Matt, they know so much about us, but if you don't want to tell them, you don't have to. If you're worried that we won't be able to play anymore, I want to remind you when it was the original five, and we were bumming to our gigs. We only cared about the music and each other.

"Now, we only should care about the music and each other. I love, Matt." He pulled the bigger man in for a hug, channeling the pure essence of Jimmy into that one hug. And it was clear by the way Matt hugged Johnny that he was feeling the presence of their late drummer too.

"I couldn't have said it better," Zacky said, joining in on the hug. The other two easily followed, pulling each other into the biggest and most loving group hug I had ever seen. It was clear that they were brothers first and friends second.

Brian looked over at me and Rae and motioned for us to join. "I was wrong, Rae. You guys might actually be good for him. You too, Charlie. Let's start this shit, Shadz!"
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Matt took a deep breath and squeezed Rae's hand and then mine. His hazel eyes popped as he mentally prepared himself for what he was going to say. I think we were all a little nervous and excited to see what the man had to say.

"Hey guys, it's M. Shadows from Avenged Sevenfold. I'm opening up to the Deathbats for the first time since Jimbo's death." Matt took a deep breath and looked to where Rae and I were.

"As you all know, we were in the military. I said this before in a statement shortly after my attempted suicide, but it was a rough time for me. I think anyone that's served knows what I mean. The military is great for a lot of things, but the things we saw overseas are not things that we can easily get rid of.

"Post-traumatic stress disorder and major depression are two of the biggest of mental issues within the veteran community. I'm sure you've heard of twenty-two for twenty-two. Every day, twenty-two veterans kill themselves. Twenty-two for twenty-two is basically bringing awareness to it. That's not what I want to talk to you about.

"I didn't handle by PTSD well. After Jimmy's death, I just wanted to fade into myself. I didn't want people to see me, to know what I was doing or where I was with life. I was hiding myself, and a lot of them boiled down to Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Matt sighed and found me and Rae again. It was nice to know we were his comforts.

"So the important thing to know about Don't Ask, Don't Tell is that it was put into place to basically make sure the gay people stayed in line, but also kind of to protect gay people. Really what it did was turn the LGBT community away from the military and force them to hide who they were.

"Well, I'm tired of hiding." Matt smiled at the camera, his dimples popping. "I, Matthew Charles Sanders, am a bisexual man. I don't want to hide it from my friends or family anymore. And you Deathbats are my family too. I love you all." He clicked the camera off and drew in a breath.

Now we all just had to wait to see what was going to happen.

Notes

Alright y'all, even with rodeo season, I am determined to start updating more frequently, like I used to. Enjoy loves