Coming Home

"I love you too, Shadows." The words were already out in the world. There was no way in hell I could take them back. No amount of back-tracking would get me to the point of recovery. I had just told a man I was very much in love with that I loved another man. And it wasn't just any other man; it was a man I had had a serious relationship with.

Charlie turned to me, fire in his eyes. I could see the wheels in his head turning. I could see him going through several stages of anger before he just quietly got out of bed, pulled on pants, and left. My eyes tracked him, unable to say anything that could even possibly redeem this. What did you say when you had fucked up that badly?

When our bedroom door slammed shut, I finally rolled out of bed. I held onto the headboard, searching for my prosthetic. How was I supposed to chase after him on one leg? The damn leg was no where in sight, so I did the only logical thing. I sat down on my ass and army crawled to the door.

Getting out of the room and to the kitchen was the hardest part. Charlie just stood by the sink, head tilted down. I had no idea what was running through his head. It couldn't be worse than the things I was calling myself or the way I was feeling. I had betrayed someone I really and truly cared about. All these years later and Matt was somehow still fucking with me.

He turned when he heard me dragging myself into the kitchen. His blue eyes just looked through me. There was no eyebrow quirk or offer to help me up. I had really hurt him. And I had no idea how I was going to make this up to him. What could I even do?

"Charlie," I said softly. "I don't even have words or an excuse. There is nothing I can say that would make this situation better. There are no words I can give to come close to remedying this. But you need to know that I am in love with you, Charlie. I do not love Matthew Charles Sanders. I don't think I ever truly did.

"I don't even know why his name would come out of my mouth. I can't form an excuse. It just happened. And I'm so, so sorry. What can I do to make this better?"

His eyes finally met mine. There was a look in them that I had never seen before. "There is nothing you can do, Rae. Nothing you say or do will ever change the fact that after some mind-blowing sex you said you loved another man. I am not going to forgive this."

Charlie walked past me and out our apartment door. My eyes sprang with tears. I watched him leave, unable to even think beyond his words. What did this mean for us now? What the hell did this mean?

Notes

Short but it's something.