Coming Home

"Reaper, are you sure you want to do this?" Charlie pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"It's not a matter of want." I pressed a kiss to his cheek. "It's a matter of someone I once cared a great deal for needing everyone he can get, Charlie. I know how you feel about your brothers in arms. If any of them were in the position Matt was in, would you leave them alone in a hospital?"

He sighed. "No, I wouldn't. I trust you, Rae. It's the man you were once married to that I don't trust. You've told me everything that happened between you too. How am I supposed to be comfortable with him seeing you?"

I sent the big, bad Marine a side glance. "Are you jealous?"

"Yes," he said with a frown. "You were married to him, Reaper. You loved him at some point. I trust you, and I know you're dating me now, but there's that irrational piece of me that just wants to fuck a person up."

I kissed him on the mouth. "I have no feelings for that man anymore." It was a lie, the first lie I had ever told Charlie. I did have feelings for Matt; I just had no idea what they were anymore.
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The room was dark and silent when I walked in. Brooks was sitting next to Matt, holding his hand. I had never had the chance to meet Brooks officially. Our interaction had been limited to my time in Germany. But I liked him, at least what I saw of him in interviews.

He looked up at me and a cautious smile appeared on his face. "I didn't think you'd come, Rae. It's good to see you. Don't worry, Brian and the others were sent home. We're staying with him in shifts." Brooks nodded at the sleeping Matt.

Matt looked so little and pale on his hospital bed. Is this what I looked like when he saw me in Germany? Is this how he felt when he saw me for the first time in months? My heart stuttered in its chest seeing such a strong man looking so weak and fragile.

"Do you know why, Brooks?" I asked, dragging a chair over to Matt's bed.

He shook his head. "If he wants to tell you, he will. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't think Matt will want to see you."

"It doesn't hurt my feelings." I sent him a small smile. "I have no doubt he won't want to see me, Brooks. We hurt each other... a lot. I just had to make sure he was okay for myself. I know you guys and how you feel about me, but I loved him once." I squeezed Matt's hand.

Brooks eyes met mine. "And do you still love him?"

My heart did that stupid stutter thing again. It only ever did that for him. As much as I liked, enjoyed, and cared for Charlie... I never really felt that same spark with him as I did with Matt. Charlie and I were incredibly compatible, but Matt and I had been a ticking time bomb.

"There's residual feelings, Brooks. But no, I don't love him anymore. I don't know if what we had was love."

"It was love. From my understanding, it was very much love. I think you were just too explosive and too vivacious for it to last. You and Matt are too much drawn from the same cloth."

I stared at Brooks. The man was wise beyond his years. I don't know if that came from his Green Beret experience or just being a few years older than us. He had this calming, almost father-like presence. Talking to him was liking talking to a shrink, and I would know since I was one.

"We were very explosive. I just think there was too much set up against us for us to actually be a couple. Matt was young and said some dumb things, and I was younger and said some dumber things. But we just always kept spiraling." I looked down at Matt. "I think some things spiraled a little too far."

"It happens, Rae," he said, "Nothing that happened is anyone's fault."

"It never is, is it?"

Notes

I know these ones have been short lately, but I am building up to a long and EXPLOSIVE chapter.