The Girl in the Mirror

“Shads? What the fuck’re you doing?”

Matthew Sanders lay on his stomach in the middle of the recording studio a compact mirror dwarfed in his left palm. He glanced up from his contemplation of what looked, to the person who spoke to him, like his reflection.

“Huh?”

Zachary stood over him a bemused expression in his eyes. “What’re you doing with that? Putting on makeup?” The guitarist cracked up laughing at his own joke.

Matt just blinked at him, nonplussed. “No. I’m over that.”

Zachary snorted. “True. Whose thing is that, anyway?”

Matt shrugged broad shoulders and returned to staring into the tiny mirror. His friend rolled his eyes and sauntered away muttering something about the band’s singer being ‘lame’. Matt chose to ignore Zachary’s comment and sighed deeply.

She has this tattoo on the small of her back. That’s one thing I always notice. It might be a death bat. But then again, I might be just projecting that image onto her, since I’m in Avenged Sevenfold. Some kind of fucking ego-trip?

“What’s with the mirror, Matt?”

Brian sat down on the floor next to the singer, who was still staring blankly into the compact. Matt hadn’t moved an inch since Zachary had gone into the booth to record backing vocals.

Matt didn’t turn to look at his friend, but he did answer, very softly, a slight rasp to his voice. “Just...seeing things...”

The other man blinked, confusion written all over his face. “What do you mean?”

Matt shifted his weight, bracing his tattooed arms against the floor and narrowing his gaze at the compact. “There’s this chick...”

Brian grimaced and glanced into the mirror. “Man, unless you’ve turned into a chick...that’s you, you’re looking at your fucking reflection.”

Matt gave a hard, shake of his head. “No. There’s this chick...she’s...all alone.”

Brian rolled his eyes and placed a hand on the larger man’s shoulder. “Dude. What’re you on?”

Matt’s head jerked up and he shot a cold look at his friend. “Shut the fuck up. She’s there. Alone.”

The other man sighed. “Okay, man. Whatever you say.”

Matt’s jaw tightened, his eyes darkening. “She’s always there.”

“Dude,” Brian rubbed at his jaw, worry appearing in his eyes, “is something wrong with you?”

The singer’s shoulders slumped a little and he tucked his head down. “No. It’s just...she’s...” Matt trailed off and looked at the guitarist.

Brian’s eyes narrowed but then he threw up his hands and shook his head roughly. “Jesus, Matt. I’m not sitting here listening to your shit. There’s no goddamned chick in the mirror. That’s your fucking butt ugly face.”

Brian stood and stormed off to find his guitar.


Matt groaned and closed his eyes resting his forehead against his left arm for a long moment. Then he lifted his head and stared into the mirror again.

Y’know...I think she runs around the mall sometimes. She’s wearing the kind of get up a woman who likes to jog wears...red hoodie...these blue kind of track pants... But, she’s not running...just sitting there, staring into the fountain... Wonder who she is, and what she’s doing there.

Don’t know where the mall is...it’s nondescript. Could be anywhere...might not even be in Huntington. Who knows...who cares...I do...God knows why...but I do...

“Whatcha rambling about, Shads?”

The drummer’s lean frame flopped over Matt’s legs. He grunted slightly in response and smeared a hand over his face and up into his shaggy hair.

“Didn’t say shit...” he grumbled.

Jimmy chuckled low. “Yeah you did. You said ‘I do’. You do what?”

Matt craned his neck around to look into the quizzical stare of the elder man. “Nothing. Get the fuck off me.”

Jimmy pretended to look hurt, bottom lip beginning to tremble. The singer groaned and sat up shutting the compact with a snap. The taller man had to slide away or end up getting shoved onto the floor. He let out a whimper.

Matt rolled his eyes a hint of disgust in their depths. “Jesus, Rev. Why the fuck can’t y’all leave me alone.”

The drummer frowned. “Whatcha mean, Shads?”

Matt shook his head angrily. “First Zacky has a go at me, then Syn. Now you. Why don’t you go fuck with Christ?”

Jimmy laughed flatly. “He’s not here. Went to see Harry Potter, or some shit.”

“Oh. Right.”

Matt heaved a sigh and began to tuck the small mirror into the pocket of his hoodie.

However, Jimmy noticed and grabbed his wrist. “What’s this?”

The singer shook his friend off and glowered at him. “Nothing.”

Jimmy rolled his eyes. “Bull. It’s a fucking compact. What’re you doing with it?”

Matt sighed and walked over to a swivel-stool parking his ass on it and absently swinging from side-to-side. “Looking at my butt ugly face.”

His friend smirked, lip curling faintly. “Syn having a go at you again?”

Matt’s lips tightened but then he allowed his features to relax. “There’s this girl...”

For some reason the words left his mouth. Even though after Brian had shot him down he’d sworn silently not to open his big mouth again. Then again it wasn’t as if Jimmy was particularly sane. He’d be most likely to believe him, or at least humour his ramblings.

“Oh?”

Matt tilted his head back and stared up at the ceiling. “Yeah. At the mall. She just, sits there.”

“A girl? Where?”

Matt looked anywhere but at the drummer, his voice lowering to a soft murmur. “In the mirror. She...just sits there.”

Jimmy blinked wondering for an instant if the singer had gone mad. But then he gave himself a little shake and smirked. “Is she hot?”

Matt shot a look at him, gauging his reaction then lifted a shoulder. “No idea. Never seen her face.”

“Uhuh. So, which mall are we talking about?”

Matt turned away from Jimmy to look to the booth where Zachary was laughing his head off, obviously stuffing up some of his lines.

“Could be anywhere. All I see is the girl.”

Jimmy came to stand next to him. “What’s she look like?”

Matt glanced up at the lanky male wondering whether his friend was poking fun at him. However, not too surprisingly, the expression on the drummer’s face was serious and curious all at once. Matt looked away again.

“Like I said, I don’t see her face. But, she’s got black hair...tied back. Wearing like, running clothes.” He sucked at his bottom lip rubbing his thumb beneath his nose. “She’s got a tattoo on her back.”

“Yeah?” Jimmy folded his arms across his chest. “What of?”

Matt chuckled dryly. “I like to think it’s a death bat.”

“Hah. You’re cracked. Where did you say you saw her?”

“This...” The singer held up the compact and flipped it open again.

The drummer squinted at the small mirror. “That?” His tone was mildly incredulous.

“Yes. This.”

Matt sounded so sure of himself that Jimmy didn’t have the heart to disagree with him, or even to tell him he must be crazy. So, he just smiled and nodded. To be honest, he had no right to dis his friend. He was always seeing and hearing crazy shit.

“So. You see her in that. And she’s at some mall?”

“Yes, Jimmy.” Matt sighed wearily and tossed the compact onto the sound desk.

Jimmy moved to prop his ass against it and looked down at his friend. “Who do you think it is?”

The singer grunted in answer. “Who the fuck knows?” He half mumbled, “Who the fuck cares?”

His friend chortled. “You obviously do.”

Matt squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the heels of his hands into his shut eyelids. “Ugh...” He dropped his hands and turned his head to call out to Zachary. “Oi. Vengeance. You done in there?”

Zachary shot back, “Yeah! If you’re done doing your makeup!”

Matt growled low in the back of his throat and shot to his feet. “You come out and say that to my fucking face you fat shit.”

Zachary came out of the booth holding both his hands up in the air in an ‘I surrender’ gesture. The singer slapped him upside the back of his head then strode into the booth parking his body in front of the microphone and fitting the headphones into place.

“Right whaddya want from me?”

The rhythm guitarist muttered rudely in answer. “Definitely not your cock.”

Brian who had reappeared clutching his guitar leaned in and added mockingly, “I bet that chick you’re imagining wants it.”

Matt clenched his teeth, a muscle twitching along the hard line of his jaw. “Mock all you fucking like, jackasses. What am I singing?”

Jimmy shook his head slowly as the lead guitarist scoffed. “Girl I Know.”

Zachary lost it then, snorting as he managed to gasp out with a sense of his own hilarity. “Yeah, the one in the mirror...” He slapped his thigh laughing so hard that spit flew out of his mouth and hit the sound desk. Matt was not amused.

He glowered at his friend and snapped into the microphone. “Very funny, dude. Almost as funny as when I shut you the fuck up.”

“Dude,” Jimmy spoke up, “don’t worry about them. I believe you. Just sing. First verse.”

Matt nodded to the drummer glad that someone was on his side. Turning his gaze to the music stand where a page of lyrics were pegged, he cleared his throat and prepared to sing.

* * * * *

Johnny pushed the studio door open and stepped in frowning faintly as he could hear Matt’s distinct raspy vocals blaring from the vocal booth. Shaking his head to try and clear it he sauntered into the main room where the others were sprawled around watching Matt as he sang.

“Hey?”

Jimmy glanced over and grinned. “Hey, short shit. Where you been?”

“The mall.” The bassist bit at his lip and pulled up a chair sliding down onto it.

Zachary noted the way the smaller man chewed at his bottom lip as if worrying at a bone. “What’s up with you? Hungry?”

Johnny shook his head. “No.” He cast his eyes toward the booth. “What song?”

“Girl I Know,” Brian commented. “Remember. We’re releasing the B-sides as part of a package with Live in Long Beach.”

“Oh. Right. I forgot.” Johnny looked down and pulled out his cell phone fidgeting with it.

Jimmy scowled at him. “Damn, Christ. What is your problem?”

The younger man shook his head. “Saw something horrible.”

“Huh?”

The other two turned away from the vocal booth and looked at him. Zachary leaned forward toward the bassist.

“Something horrible?”

“Yeah...that’s why I was gone so long. Was leaving the movie and some guy...just burst into the mall with a gun...” Johnny shook his head speaking deliberately to his phone and not his friends.

“Jesus, Christ...” Brian blinked. “What happened then?”

“This girl...she...well she was jogging by for some reason...don’t know why you’d be running inside a mall...but whatever.”

Brian exchanged looks with the other guitarist and the drummer before looking back at Johnny. “Yeah, what about her?”

Johnny shivered and looked up to meet Brian’s questioning glare. “The guy...just...shot her...like...dropped her...right there in front of all of us. Then he yelled something about ‘that’ll show y’all you bitches’ and then took off.” He took a deep steadying breath before going on. “It’ll probably be on the news. Like...about now.”

Jimmy was the first to make a move for the small television set in the corner of the room, switching it on and urgently flipping channels.

By this time, Matt, who had realised no one was paying him any attention anymore, had abandoned the vocal booth and came out to see what was going on. The drummer caught his eye and nodded toward Johnny.

Matt frowned and moved to sit next to the smaller man. “Johnny? When did you get here?”

The bassist lifted his head to look at the singer. “A couple of minutes ago.”

Matt nodded then swung his head toward the television just as Jimmy finally flipped over to the five o’clock news cast. The red tickertape at the bottom of the screen was scrolling rapidly just as the fresh young face of the news reporter came on and started announcing a breaking news report directly outside Huntington Beach’s largest shopping mall.

“Good evening, this is Chelsea Baker...”

“Hah, it’s your fucking cousin, Vengeance,” Brian interjected.

“Shut up, I’m trying to listen, asswipe.” Zachary shoved at the other guitarist.

“...has been a fatal shooting at Hunt Mall...the police have stated that an unknown male entered at approximately 4:35 this afternoon...”

“Approximately? ...the fuck?” Jimmy snorted, “If they’re gonna say approximately...why then give an exact fucking time?”

Matt chuckled as he crouched down next to Johnny.

The bassist shook his head. “Covering their asses in case they’re wrong.”

“Shut up!” Zachary repeated harshly. They fell silent and just listened.

“...girl who was shot her name is yet to be released but witnesses say she is a regular at the mall. Mr Vincent?” The reporter turns to an elderly man standing to her left. “Can you tell us something?”

“The girl, I see her she is-a always sitting by the fountain...”

Matt stiffened sitting up slightly, hazel eyes narrowed. Jimmy glanced over at the singer cocking an eyebrow. Matt shook his head biting at the inside of his cheek. The drummer looked back toward the screen just as the camera shot changed.

The Chief Inspector was on screen speaking, but Matt was no longer really listening because as the inspector spoke to the camera the shot switched to a photo of a young woman. She was leaning against a bench, her back to the camera, with her head turned to look over her shoulder.

But, that wasn’t what caught his eye. No, it was the tattoo that was exposed on her lower back that drew his attention to her.

“Fuck...” Matt hissed through his teeth.

“What?” Johnny looked at him.

The singer gritted out harshly, “That’s her...”

“That’s her, what?”

Jimmy was staring at the screen as well and jerked his head around to look at his friend. “Matt...that chick...”

Matt just nodded, slipping his hand into his hoodie and curling his fingers around the compact mirror. There was a long silence as the others all turned their heads to look at the singer. Only Johnny looked completely confused.

“The chick in Matt’s mirror,” Brian mumbled. He shook his head. “Damn, Shads...”

Matt breathed out roughly and stared at the television. “She was always fucking alone...”

Johnny looked between his four friends. “What?”

Matt just shook his head as Jimmy shut the television off. “It doesn’t matter, Christ. She’s gone now.” He stood and headed back to the booth. “Right, we going to try this again?”

Johnny just continued to look confused as the others moved back to stand in front of the sound desk.

Brian leaned forward, bracing his hands against the desk. “Yep. Girl I Know. First verse.”

Matt took a deep breath banishing all images of the girl from his mind and focused upon the song, placing the headphones back into place and closing his eyes.

There’s this girl I know...and she’s not alone...not anymore...no...she’s gone now...gone...and forgotten...

Notes

A little something I wrote in 2009.