Gunslingers

Being in the studio without the pressure of leaving for tour was like no other feeling. For the first time in years, I felt like I was where I needed to be. The lyrics were just flowing out of me as were melodies and entire songs. I hadn't been this prolific since Avenged had first started. It felt good to be here, to be writing again, to be with my friends again. And Brooks fit in like a long lost brother. He was truly amazing.

"Matt, someone is here to see you." Brooks motioned to the door.

I looked up, not realizing it was already very late into the day. I smiled at the drummer and headed to the entrance of our studio. Standing at the front desk were two men in uniform. Having been in the military for years, I knew two uniformed men were not a good sign. If they were here, it meant someone was dead. I don't think I could handle another dead loved one.

"Lieutenant Sanders?" one of the men asked.

"It's just Mister now," I said and waited for whatever bad news they were about to tell me. "How can I help you?"

"Mr. Sanders, we have news regarding Master Sergeant Rae Martinez." The other man motioned for me to come sit down.

I knew it wasn't a good sign if they were asking me to sit down, but I was very curious as to why they were telling me about Rae. I wasn't her emergency contact, and I shouldn't have been. In the military, you had to let your contact know they were your contact, and Rae had never done that. In fact, Rae probably still hated me. Oh my god, was she okay?

I'm sure the two could see the panic in my eyes. Even though Rae and I were terrible for each other, I still had some underlying feelings for her. I still wanted her to live and find love... even though it could never be with me. We were terrible for each other.

"Master Sergeant Martinez is currently in Germany in a recovery program."

Before he could say more, I interrupted him. "I'm sorry... why do I need to know this? I am not her emergency contact."

The two men shot each other looks, clearly not believing me. They probably thought I was a drugged out rock star. "Sir, you are listed as her emergency contact. In fact, you are listed as her husband."

Rae giggled into my ear. Her breath tickled me, and I could smell the vodka rolling off her in waves. We were way too fucking drunk to be around each other. Whenever we'd been drinking together, we always wound up fucking.

"Come on, Rae. We gotta get back to the hotel."

Rae pushed her hand into my pants, looking for my dick. I'm not sure how she missed it given how large it was. Grabbing her hand out of my pants, I lead her to our hotel room. This was in the wake of Jimmy's death, and we had found each other... drinking. I needed to find my fiance because I was sure I was about to do something stupid with a woman I was still in love with.

"Let's do something else instead," Rae said, pulling me toward an all-night chapel.

I was fairly drunk too, not realizing that it was a wedding chapel until a poorly dressed pastor was leading us in wedding vows. I smiled as Rae recited hers. Her beautiful eyes were looking up at me. I laughed as I said I do. This woman was mine.

"You're Mrs. Matthew Sanders now," I said and pulled her in for a soul-crushing kiss.

"Oh shit." We had never gotten our fucked up wedding annulled.

"I take it you remember?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"She lost her leg," one of the men said, "She's resting up in Germany. There's more. Mr. Sanders, it appears she was pregnant at the time of her injury. She lost the baby."

My eyes widened. "She wasn't pregnant. She had an abortion right before her tour. We fought about that."

"That's what the doctor said. We have transportation for you."

I nodded, following them. There was so much rushing through my brain. Mainly: how could she be pregnant if she had had an abortion? How had she lost her leg? Was Rae going to be okay? And why the fuck were we still married? How the fuck could I have forgotten that god damn mistake?

Notes

Oh boy... DRAMA... I am the worst.