Gunslingers

SIX MONTHS LATER

"Sanders, you've been tapped for Green Team," Dan said as we finished up a training exercise.

My eyes widened. Green Team was the ultimate goal; it was something every SEAL wanted to be tapped for. DEVGRU, I couldn't believe it. That had been my dream for awhile.

"Dan, you're kidding?" I slid the gas mask off my face.

"No, I'm not. Get your fucking ass to Arizona, Matt."

I nodded and left training to go back. I'd be gone for nine months if I made it through. I had to tell the guys and Rae.
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"What about the music?" Zacky asked. His eyes had tears; he was my spotter and always would be. Brian was pacing and short shit wouldn't even meet my eyes. Jimmy was ignoring me completely.

"I love music, I do, but this is a once in a lifetime chance." I packed the rest of my gear and turned to face them.

"You'll come back?" Brian folded his arms across my chest.

"If I make DEVGRU, I'll be in Virginia Beach. My time will be split with training and tours. We can see each other on leave. We can record."

"Yeah, right." Syn pushed pass the other guys and left. Johnny and Jim were quick to follow.

"You didn't even tell me, Shadz." Zacky glared and left, slamming my door behind him. Shit, I'd pissed off my best friend. Was I being too selfish in all this?
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Rae kissed my cheek as she entered my apartment. I was all packed and ready to ship out tomorrow. The only thing I had left to do was tell this beautiful Marine in front of me that I was leaving for hopefully nine months and longer.

"Why's all your shit packed, Sanders?" She flopped my bed, looking at the packed bags.

I scratched my head. "I'm leaving tomorrow."

She sat up and looked at me. "Tour?"

"No." I shook my head. "I got accepted into DEVGRU, so I'm heading to Mississippi and Arizona tomorrow. I'll be gone for the next nine months hopefully and then if I make it, moving to Virginia."

Rae's mouth dropped open. She looked absolutely stunned, like I could blow her over. "DEVGRU? Fucking SEAL Team Six?" She was pacing my bedroom.

"Rae? Come here."

"You get to pursue your career and dream further. Meanwhile, I'm stuck with a desk jockey job if I'm lucky because of a shoulder injury I sustain because of you and that isn't healing properly because of you." Her voice was eerily calm. "You were the one to tell Baker it was okay to go to the rest of the team, you were the one who said we should break out, you were the one who pulled a bullet out, you were the one who pushed me to move my arm, and you were the one who promised me special forces."

I looked at her in shock. Yes, her shoulder hadn't healed right, and she couldn't lift more than twenty-five pounds with it. Yes, the Marines were looking at a possible medical discharge for her. No, she didn't deserve it. She was a hell of a Marine. But I didn't deserve the blame?

"Rae, it's not like that at all." I approached her pacing form.

"Yes, it is. All of you are moving forward with your careers. Laura is a highly specialized nurse that several teams want. Carol just got cleared for combat, and Sarah just became a lieutenant. Maeve got to be a co-pilot and she and Jim are about to go overseas with Johnny and Brian. Zach just got a promotion, and you're going to fucking DEVGRU!

"Meanwhile, I'm about to get discharge from my fucking life! I don't get my chance, Sanders. You all do."

I gently grabbed her arm and pulled her in from a hug. Rae pushed against me and moved to my door. "Congrats Matt, but I can't handle this anymore. You represent every bad thing in my life. I hope you do get in, so that I never have to see you again."

Rae left and so did a piece of my heart I hadn't realized I'd given her. Our friendship had grown over the last six months, and I had truly fallen in love with her apparently.
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Mississippi was hot. I'd sweated in Iraq, but this was a humidity unlike any I'd felt before. It was sweltering, like walking through an overactive steam room.

"Sanders?" A short, broad SEAL asked me. I could tell he was experienced. The eyes gave it away; they always did.

I nodded and followed the SEAL to what would be my room for the duration of my time. If I was lucky, I'd get to stay and move to Virginia Beach. Once my gear was unpacked, I knew a physical test was about to begin.

"Run it." They weren't like the BUD/S trainers. They didn't yell; they expected us to know what we were doing.

As a unit, we all immediately dropped into push-ups. We were about to do BUD/S physical test all over again. We had to do a certain number of push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups in a certain amount of time.

To be honest, I wasn't in BUD/S shape anymore. Granted, I was in better shape than most other guys, but I felt out of shape. And I didn't think I was alone. A lot of us were not in BUD/S shape anymore.

"Move," one of the instructors said. We moved to sit-ups. Sit-ups and I had a feud. We didn't get along... at all.

Notes

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Heretic Blood