The Road Trip
Prologue
Esme
"Esme, I know this isn't the best time to ask but, are you okay?" Even though I heard Jacky, my best friend's voice, I kept mum. Probably cuz either I was too tired to reply, or cuz I didn't know the answer. I'd never imagined that I'd be so clueless at this point of my life.
"We both knew something was going on with Reece. He was acting all weird, and avoiding your calls and texts. But one day out of the blue he comes home from work and says that he's being transferred to Portland, and he just leaves like that? That's not him, Esme. He didn't even ask your opinion on it," Jacky added calmly, while I reminisced the time I saw my boyfriend for the last time.
It was 2 months ago, all his stuff were packed and he was ready to board the plane in a couple of hours. We were having dinner, for the first time silently. What would I have said?
I couldn't get over the fact that he was going to Portland, alone, and he didn't even bother to break the news to me earlier. Three weeks; he thought it'd be perfect time to drop the bomb on me just three weeks before he left.
We ate silently, I did the dishes, and later drove him to the airport. I didn't know why I did whatever he wanted me to. Maybe cuz I was used to supporting hin always. I'd been doing that for the past six years. Old habits do die hard. It sucks tho.
The goodbyes were unusual that night, I'd say. It was abrupt, and over a little too soon for my liking. No hugs, no kisses. He just held my hands and entwined our fingers, that too just for a while. I'd always loved these moments with him, it made me feel special. Sounds pretty cheesy, but I really didn't care about a thing when I was with Reece.
But the silence that night petrified me. It sent chills down my spine in a way I'd never felt before, and unimaginable thoughts started to cloud my head. A sudden feeling of insecurity spread all over me, which was totally a new thing for me.
Reece left, and I was all alone. In some ways it made no difference, in some it did. When he was here in California, he talked to me rarely. Things weren't like that always, the lack of interest in any sort of conversation had started just a few months ago. I knew something was bothering him, but he refused to confide. Even though I could feel his presence always, but his silence somehow managed to overshadow it.
It was tough for me to accept the fact, but it was harder to live without him. Everything I did made me think of him, everyone I met reminded of him. Everything, except maybe Jacky.
"It's his life after all." I said, looking down blankly and then at her. "Answer my question, Esme. And that's no excuse okay? You were gonna get engaged to him, you're a big part of his life," she pointed out.
"But we didn't, did we? He didn't propose, Jacky. I saw the ring once, that too cuz the box fell from his pants when I went to do his laundry." I tried to remain calm but couldn't. The ring incident happened just days before he left.
"Why were you doing his laundry? He's what, 27? Esme, open your eyes." She retorted and I bit the inside of my cheek. I knew that she was right. But that's the kind of life I'd somehow taught myself to live ever since Ioved in with Reece. I didn't really mind taking living my life taking care of him.
Did I just think that? God, Esme... what have I done to myself?
"That's not the point, Jacky." I told her.
"Then what is?" She asked almost instantly as she stood beside me with her arms crossed and a tiny frown. I sighed and ran my hands over my face. I was tired, of everything. But I didn't wanna admit it, it was time to get my shit together.
"Jacks, I know I may not look fine right now but trust me, I'm okay. Stop worrying so much." I put a hand on her shoulder and put on a smile, which I'm quite sure she didn't buy. "Esme, do you wanna know what I'd have done if I were in your shoes?" She said quite confidently, and I realized that she was going to mention something she knew I'd never do.
But I played along anyways. "What?"
"I'd go to Portland if I were you, find Reece and tell him what's bothering me." I bit my lip at her words and looked into her eyes directly, and shook my head sideways. "Always looking for adventure, huh?" I joked and she sighed.
"I'm serious, Esme. Don't you-"
"It's not that simple, Jacks." I stopped her from speaking further, and she looked at me nonchalantly. "Explain."
"I can't go to Portland, hell I can't even afford the plane ticket. Plus my jobs..." I trailed off. "But Esme-"
"Jacky, you're my best friend and I know you'll always support me. But you gotta open your eyes too. I have two jobs so that I can pay our bills on time, get groceries for my boyfriend and I, and save some bucks for times such as whenever, out of the blue, I feel like spending a day all by myself cuz I could really use one. I don't have money to spend on an airplane ticket to Portland."
Jacky listened to me carefully, concentrating on each and every detail I spoke of. But at last, she took in only one point. "You pay the bills? Like, alone? Why doesn't Reece, it's his place Esme!"
"I moved in with him Jacks, and shared all the responsibilities. And no, I don't pay them all. You know everything, and yet you're pointing out Reece's faults when he isn't even here." I said somewhat angrily, and that was when I realized what I just said.
Reece Fletcher, who had been my boyfriend for six years was gone. It was almost 2 months since he started living in Portland, and we talked hardly during this time. I was the oje who called hin, asked him how he was doing. He never asked me anything. It was like he wanted to end the conversation asap, and hang up.
"He's not here, Jacky." I said blankly. I felt scared and lonely, and so damn insecure. Even words can't describe it. "Exactly, Esme." She said and I looked at her as realization dawned on me and hit me like a giant wave.
"What do I do, Jacky?" I murmured with a frown, lost deep in my thoughts. "Don't act in haste, Esme. Think clearly, I think the best option is for you both to talk and try to sort out everything. You can't go on in this relationship without talking to each other, can you?" Jacky suggested, making me shake my head sideways.
"But how do I work on it now? He's in Portland, and I don't know when he'll be back. If I call him, he always makes an excuse and hangs up. I call him on Skype, he says there's network problem. I send him texts and emails, but he rarely responds. What am I supposed to do to get him to talk to me?" I felt weak, hell I was weak.
"First of all, calm down. You can't get hyper about this," Jacky said and sat next to me. "I want the old Reece back, Jacky. It's like he's changed into this new person, and I don't know him. His tastes have changed, he's gone far away from me and I can't seem to catch up with him." I confessed, feeling insecure as hell.
"Everyone's tastes change, Esme. It's a part of life, you shouldn't feel insecure. He's never gonna get too far away from you, if that's what's bothering you." Jacky consoled, and I nodded hesitantly.
"I really hope your words come true, Jacky." I murmured and chewed on my lip, as I tried to shut out all the negative possibilities of why Reece was not contacting me as frequently as I expected him to.
"Esme, I know this isn't the best time to ask but, are you okay?" Even though I heard Jacky, my best friend's voice, I kept mum. Probably cuz either I was too tired to reply, or cuz I didn't know the answer. I'd never imagined that I'd be so clueless at this point of my life.
"We both knew something was going on with Reece. He was acting all weird, and avoiding your calls and texts. But one day out of the blue he comes home from work and says that he's being transferred to Portland, and he just leaves like that? That's not him, Esme. He didn't even ask your opinion on it," Jacky added calmly, while I reminisced the time I saw my boyfriend for the last time.
It was 2 months ago, all his stuff were packed and he was ready to board the plane in a couple of hours. We were having dinner, for the first time silently. What would I have said?
I couldn't get over the fact that he was going to Portland, alone, and he didn't even bother to break the news to me earlier. Three weeks; he thought it'd be perfect time to drop the bomb on me just three weeks before he left.
We ate silently, I did the dishes, and later drove him to the airport. I didn't know why I did whatever he wanted me to. Maybe cuz I was used to supporting hin always. I'd been doing that for the past six years. Old habits do die hard. It sucks tho.
The goodbyes were unusual that night, I'd say. It was abrupt, and over a little too soon for my liking. No hugs, no kisses. He just held my hands and entwined our fingers, that too just for a while. I'd always loved these moments with him, it made me feel special. Sounds pretty cheesy, but I really didn't care about a thing when I was with Reece.
But the silence that night petrified me. It sent chills down my spine in a way I'd never felt before, and unimaginable thoughts started to cloud my head. A sudden feeling of insecurity spread all over me, which was totally a new thing for me.
Reece left, and I was all alone. In some ways it made no difference, in some it did. When he was here in California, he talked to me rarely. Things weren't like that always, the lack of interest in any sort of conversation had started just a few months ago. I knew something was bothering him, but he refused to confide. Even though I could feel his presence always, but his silence somehow managed to overshadow it.
It was tough for me to accept the fact, but it was harder to live without him. Everything I did made me think of him, everyone I met reminded of him. Everything, except maybe Jacky.
"It's his life after all." I said, looking down blankly and then at her. "Answer my question, Esme. And that's no excuse okay? You were gonna get engaged to him, you're a big part of his life," she pointed out.
"But we didn't, did we? He didn't propose, Jacky. I saw the ring once, that too cuz the box fell from his pants when I went to do his laundry." I tried to remain calm but couldn't. The ring incident happened just days before he left.
"Why were you doing his laundry? He's what, 27? Esme, open your eyes." She retorted and I bit the inside of my cheek. I knew that she was right. But that's the kind of life I'd somehow taught myself to live ever since Ioved in with Reece. I didn't really mind taking living my life taking care of him.
Did I just think that? God, Esme... what have I done to myself?
"That's not the point, Jacky." I told her.
"Then what is?" She asked almost instantly as she stood beside me with her arms crossed and a tiny frown. I sighed and ran my hands over my face. I was tired, of everything. But I didn't wanna admit it, it was time to get my shit together.
"Jacks, I know I may not look fine right now but trust me, I'm okay. Stop worrying so much." I put a hand on her shoulder and put on a smile, which I'm quite sure she didn't buy. "Esme, do you wanna know what I'd have done if I were in your shoes?" She said quite confidently, and I realized that she was going to mention something she knew I'd never do.
But I played along anyways. "What?"
"I'd go to Portland if I were you, find Reece and tell him what's bothering me." I bit my lip at her words and looked into her eyes directly, and shook my head sideways. "Always looking for adventure, huh?" I joked and she sighed.
"I'm serious, Esme. Don't you-"
"It's not that simple, Jacks." I stopped her from speaking further, and she looked at me nonchalantly. "Explain."
"I can't go to Portland, hell I can't even afford the plane ticket. Plus my jobs..." I trailed off. "But Esme-"
"Jacky, you're my best friend and I know you'll always support me. But you gotta open your eyes too. I have two jobs so that I can pay our bills on time, get groceries for my boyfriend and I, and save some bucks for times such as whenever, out of the blue, I feel like spending a day all by myself cuz I could really use one. I don't have money to spend on an airplane ticket to Portland."
Jacky listened to me carefully, concentrating on each and every detail I spoke of. But at last, she took in only one point. "You pay the bills? Like, alone? Why doesn't Reece, it's his place Esme!"
"I moved in with him Jacks, and shared all the responsibilities. And no, I don't pay them all. You know everything, and yet you're pointing out Reece's faults when he isn't even here." I said somewhat angrily, and that was when I realized what I just said.
Reece Fletcher, who had been my boyfriend for six years was gone. It was almost 2 months since he started living in Portland, and we talked hardly during this time. I was the oje who called hin, asked him how he was doing. He never asked me anything. It was like he wanted to end the conversation asap, and hang up.
"He's not here, Jacky." I said blankly. I felt scared and lonely, and so damn insecure. Even words can't describe it. "Exactly, Esme." She said and I looked at her as realization dawned on me and hit me like a giant wave.
"What do I do, Jacky?" I murmured with a frown, lost deep in my thoughts. "Don't act in haste, Esme. Think clearly, I think the best option is for you both to talk and try to sort out everything. You can't go on in this relationship without talking to each other, can you?" Jacky suggested, making me shake my head sideways.
"But how do I work on it now? He's in Portland, and I don't know when he'll be back. If I call him, he always makes an excuse and hangs up. I call him on Skype, he says there's network problem. I send him texts and emails, but he rarely responds. What am I supposed to do to get him to talk to me?" I felt weak, hell I was weak.
"First of all, calm down. You can't get hyper about this," Jacky said and sat next to me. "I want the old Reece back, Jacky. It's like he's changed into this new person, and I don't know him. His tastes have changed, he's gone far away from me and I can't seem to catch up with him." I confessed, feeling insecure as hell.
"Everyone's tastes change, Esme. It's a part of life, you shouldn't feel insecure. He's never gonna get too far away from you, if that's what's bothering you." Jacky consoled, and I nodded hesitantly.
"I really hope your words come true, Jacky." I murmured and chewed on my lip, as I tried to shut out all the negative possibilities of why Reece was not contacting me as frequently as I expected him to.
Notes
I know I'm usually a reader here, and I don't write at all. But now I want to start writing, and polish some of my writing skills. Really hope u all will enjoy this!
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