Fallen

I set the curling wand down on my vanity and ran my fingers through the warm waves, detangling them and smoothing them out. I walked over to my full-length mirror and looked over myself. I actually put some effort into my hair and makeup today, obviously with the waves, but also even managed to pull of a little bit of winged eyeliner. I took a few steps back, grabbing the pair of jeans sitting on my bed and pulled them on my short legs, then put on a black, flowy sleeveless top. It was a crewneck, that was cut underneath of the neckline to make it a v-neck. I slid on a pair of 3-inch black wedges and then looked myself over once more.

“Matt’s going to drop dead when he sees you,” Val’s voice sounded from my bedroom doorway. I looked over at her to see her leaning on the door frame, a smile on her face, “I never thought I’d see the day that either one of you would be going out on a date. Let alone together.”

I smiled, my cheeks turning pink under my foundation, “Thank you for being so supportive of me getting dinner with your ex husband.”

“Hey, I wanted ya’ll to meet for the longest time but the guy just had to be on tour for four months. I know him better than he knows himself; I knew he’d fall for you. Now let me get out of here before he shows up,” she laughed.

I grabbed my purse and followed her out of my bedroom, turning the light off and closing the door. We walked out into the family room where Carson, Cash and River all sat on the couch watching television together. I put my purse on the kitchen counter and walked over to Carson, crouching down in front of him.

I grabbed his head in my hands and pulled it toward me, pressing a firm kiss on his forehead. I left behind a small tinge of pink, and wiped it off, “Be a good boy for Ms. Val tonight, alright?”

“Yes, Momma,” Carson smiled at me then looked over my shoulder toward the television. Kids were glued to those things when they were on - it was like having an awesome babysitter at times, other times it was like they were possessed by the damn thing.

“Liv, you look pretty,” Cash blushed from beside Carson.

“Thank you, Cashy,” I smiled and pinched his cheek, then stood up and walked next to Val. I turned to face her and motioned my head slightly toward River, a frown on my face. “Does he know?”

“Yeah, Matt told him and I talked to him about it,” she said in a hushed tone. “Don’t worry about him. He’ll come around. It took him a while to warm up to Jason being more than a friend in my life, too.” I nodded and she gave me a smile then looked toward the boys, “Let’s go, boys! We’re picking up pizza and a movie on the way.”

“Yay!” The two smallest spoke in unison, and River smiled and got up from the couch.

I crouched down again, hugging my son once more, “I love you, baby boy. I’ll see you in a little bit, okay?”

“I love you,” Carson grinned and kissed me on the lips before pulling away from me and joining Val and the boys outside at her car.

I stood at the door and watched them all get in the car, then drive away. I had about a half hour to kill before Matt showed up, so I grabbed my laptop and plopped down on the couch. I leaned over to the coffee table and picked up my glasses, putting them on my nose and opening up the screen in front of me. I pulled up FaceBook and started scrolling through my timeline, mostly rolling my eyes at what my “friends” were posting and re-posting. I decided to forget FaceBook and go on Pinterest, something I seemed to enjoy much more. I had been looking at new DIY projects for around the house, things that I could do to keep me busy on days off, or things that Carson and I could do together to create some more memories. I had about a million things pinned that I had yet to accomplish, not just projects, but work outs, hair styles, clothes I wanted to buy, food to cook, you name it.

A knock at my door sounded and I closed my laptop, placing it back on the coffee table. I grabbed my purse and headed toward the door, opening it and revealing Matt. I was so used to seeing him in cut-off band tees and gym shorts, that my eyes nearly popped out of my head seeing him in a black button down, with 3/4 sleeves, showing off his tattoo sleeves underneath, dark jeans on his legs and that signature backwards hat on his head.

“You look incredible,” he smiled, his dimples evident on his shaven face. I forgot to mention that he finally shaved that beard off, and he was to die for without the facial hair. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”

“Shit,” I laughed and pulled the glasses off my nose, putting them in my purse. “I am supposed to wear them, but I look like a fool in them so I really only use them if I’m on the computer, reading or am feeling extra blind.”

“You don’t look like a fool,” he reassured me as I rolled my eyes. “Why take them off? Am I too ugly to look at with clear vision?”

I laughed along with him and pushed his chest playfully, “That’s precisely why, handsome.”

He grinned at me and grabbed my hand, walking me over to his truck. He opened the passenger side door for me and let me in, closing it behind me. He got in the drivers side and cut the engine on, Testament coming through the radio at a medium volume. I found myself looking out the window and nodding my head along to the music. That ultimately turned into swaying in my seat and lip syncing when I’m Broken by Pantera came on. Matt must’ve noticed my love for the song, and turned the volume up and started singing along out loud.

I turned to look at him, a grin on my face as he put on a show in the drivers seat. He smirked and winked at me when the song ended, causing my cheeks to heat up and go crimson. A couple of songs later and we ended up at a Mexican restaurant in Newport. He hopped out of the truck again and opened my door for me, and continued with the chivalry until we were seated.

I smiled at him from across the table, my menu in my hands, “Didn’t I tell you chivalry was dead, Matthew?”

“What can I say? I’m an old fashioned guy,” he laughed and put his menu down. The waitress came over to ask us for our drink requests and he smiled up at her, “I’ll take a Corona, and she’ll take a margarita.” He spoke before I could answer and the waitress nodded and walked away saying she’d be right back. I looked at him with my jaw hanging and he smirked, “You’re drinking tonight. You don’t have work tomorrow and I’m driving. Don’t protest.”

I shook my head, “What happened the last time I drank with you? You somehow talked me into getting in the pool with you, pretended to lock out of the house and then held me captive against my will so you could dry my clothes.”

“Hey, I woke you up with chocolate chip pancakes and I let you sleep in MY bed while I slept in the guest room. Do you know how much I love my bed?” Matt laughed, saying the part of the story that I left out. I tried to drown the memory of me falling asleep in his bed, wearing his shirt, out of my head. Also the memory of him coming in the room shirtless the next morning to tell me the kids were up and breakfast was ready.

The waitress came over again, giving us both our drinks and then taking our food orders. Matt and I made small talk about our days until the food came. He told me all about how he and the guys were in the recording studio today, and that Johnny and Brian kept butting heads about things and bickering back and forth. It was funny to listen to him tell the story of how they were even arguing about what they were going to eat for lunch.

“What is it like with your life?” I asked, my words not making sense. I laughed as he raised an eyebrow, “I mean, on tour. Like you literally work and live with three of your closest friends. What is that like?”

He smiled, now knowing what I was talking about. He wiped his hands on his napkin and leaned back in the chair, his arms folded behind his head, “It’s crazy. We’ve been doing it for so many years, the road feels like a second home now. We’re like a family. We argue, we do stupid shit to each other, we get drunk, we sulk around together and talk about how much we miss home. It used to be like one big party, but now that we’re old things are a little different.” He laughed as I rolled my eyes at the word old, “Sometimes I can barely keep my eyes open after we play a show and I just go crash in my bunk. We used to always go and try to find all the cool bars in cities, now we just find coffee shops and restaurants and go to bed by 9 if we aren’t playing that night. The music is what is the most fun. That feeling when you go up on stage, even when you do it every damn day, it is a surreal feeling.”

Watching him talk about what he did was really exciting for me. The way his face lit up talking about something he was passionate about was really attractive. He always made it a point to ask me about work, and loved that he was able to come see what I do, so finally getting some insight on his work life made me happy.

“You know what else is crazy?” He asked with a grin.

“What?” I replied, putting my fork down and pushing my plate away from me, finally making the decision to stop eating.

“That I somehow talked you into coming out with me tonight,” he laughed and held his beer up to me, wanting me to toast with him. “To you not turning me down.”

I clicked my drink with his and threw the rest of it back, it was only about three sips left. His eyes glimmered with excitement as he smiled at my actions. “I do not want another one. Don’t you dare order me another one,” I laughed and set my glass on the table. “Did you think I was going to turn you down?”

He shrugged, “I didn’t know. I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to ask if I wasn’t successful on getting you to come into the pool with me. Once you agreed to that, I was like hey, I might as well just grow some bigger balls and ask her out on a date.”

Laughter erupted out of me, a smirk on my lips, “You better watch it with the growing balls thing. If they get any bigger you may need to buy new jeans.” His jaw dropped as I slapped my hand over my mouth, slightly shocked at my own statement. Just to make matters worse, I winked at him then hid myself behind my hands, “Ignore me.”

“I can’t ignore that,” he chuckled and took the last sip of his beer. I looked down at the table, “My eyes are up here, Liv. I don’t think you can look at my package through a wood table anyway. Unless you have x-ray vision, which would be fucking awesome.”

“Screw you,” I laughed and threw my napkin at him, smacking him in the chest.

“Not on the first date, sweetheart,” he wiggled his eyebrows at me.

I rolled my eyes with a smile, “I forgot. M. Shadows doesn’t like the girls that are only interested in one thing. That is why he’s a lone wolf.”

“Did you just call me M. Shadows?” He cackled, breaking out into full laughter.

We finished dinner, continuing to make jokes with one another, and then headed in the direction of Val’s house to pick up Carson. We both went up to the door, Matt’s arm slinked over my shoulders. When Val opened it she had a smirk on her face, Jason sitting on the couch behind her with one on his, too. We grabbed Carson and brought him back home, which brought us up to this point. Carson was tucked in bed and fast asleep, while Matt stood in my entry way with his hands in his pockets.

“Thank you for taking me out tonight,” I leaned against one of the columns and smiled at him. “I honestly have not had that much fun in what feels like ages.”

He returned my smile, “Thank you for coming out with me. I really like you’re company. You’re a nice break from my testosterone-filled friends and their wives.” My stomach was doing flips as Matt reached out of his pocket and grabbed one of my hands in his, holding it up to his lips and kissing it softly, “Is it safe to ask if you want to grab lunch tomorrow when I have a break?”

In my head, I wanted to ask if it was safe to have him stay the night with me, but I wasn’t going to say that out loud. Instead I nodded and took my hand from him. I still stood on my toes, even in heels, and pressed my lips to his cheek, kissing it as softly as he kissed my hand, “Get home safely.”

Notes

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