Confession of a King

I could hear the heavy panting from behind me as I threw my head back. A sense of total euphoria crashed over me as my walls spazzed, clinching as tight as they could. A shockwave of pleasure shot down my spine as I cried out my husbands name. The word Matthew falling from my lips over and over, as if it was the last word I’d ever speak again.

“Tell me who’s pussy this is,” Matt’s deep voice sounded from behind me, breathless and sultry.

I sighed out, feeling him pull his penis completely out of me, then plunged it right back in, “Yours, Mattie. All yours.”

Matt grunted as he continued to work his body against mine, his rough hands now on my hips, holding me into place as he crashed his own against my backside. “That’s right, baby,” he pressed his lips to my bare shoulder, the heat from his breath sending my body into a pattern of goosebumps.

I felt him tense, sensing that his release was on it’s way. I pushed back against the hands he had on my hips, knocking them off and rocking against his lap. His arms engulfed my entire body, holding my back to his chest as he let himself go, spilling inside of me and resting his head on my shoulder.

“Please call out of work today,” Matt mumbled, his lips still against my bare shoulder. I relaxed my shoulders and leaned into him, causing him to rest his chin on me. “Stay home with me and Alec. Please. I miss you.”

I sighed, “You know if I could, I would call out and spend all day with the two of you… but I can’t. Today is our weekly meeting and Mr. Morgan wants to chat with me about a certain situation that you caused two weeks ago. So much for keeping Avenged’s name out of the prison walls, Matthew.”

Matt leaned back on the bed, his head falling onto the pillows. I still laid wrapped in his arms, but flipped over so I could rest my chin on his chest and look up at his intoxicating hazel eyes. “My name is no longer affiliated with Avenged, so I don’t know why you want to pin this on me.”

I rolled my eyes, “Maybe because you are the idiot that planned to kill off Cal? And the guy you sent to do it accidentally dropped who he was working for? And now you want to play the not-the-leader card so it all falls into Brian’s hands? My boss isn’t an idiot. He heard the rumors and it’s obvious that if someone wanted him dead, it would be you.”

“Let it fall into Brian’s hands and he can deal with the snitch that put his business out there,” Matt closed his eyes and sank into the pillows, his face turning to stone.

I shook my head with a huff and pulled myself from his arms, standing up on the side of the bed and searching the mess of blankets on the ground for my cellphone. I grabbed it and checked the time, I still had an hour and a half before I needed to be at work. I walked toward the dresser to grab a pair of underwear and a t-shirt, slipping them on before turning my gaze back to my idiot of a husband lying on our bed, still completely naked and staring at me with an eyebrow raised.

“Did I hit a nerve talking about him like that?” He asked, his right eyebrow high, but face still emotionless.

“One of these days you’re going to pull the dildo out your ass and stop questioning me about Bri. We literally just had incredible sex, Matt. What the fuck does he have to do with anything?” I crossed my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes in his direction. When he didn’t respond I laughed, “Exactly what I thought. There’s nothing there for you to be mad about, so let it the fuck go. Now, do you want breakfast before I have to go explain to my boss that you didn’t send a hitman to kill an inmate who was trying to screw me?”

Matt slung his legs over the side of the bed, running a hand through his buzzed hair, “I’ll get Alec out of bed and be down in a few. A cup of coffee would be great if you’re feeling extra generous.”

“Would it be extra generous if I poison it?” I winked and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, then headed out of our room, closing the door behind myself.

I found myself listening to the news in the background playing on the living room television while I stood facing the stove. I was already done making scrambled eggs and bacon; the last thing I had to finish up was french toast. Matt had told me that he would be down in a few minutes, but that turned into twenty. I sighed and shook my head, trying to rid any negative thoughts. Things had been better since my mother had come to visit and we had no choice but to talk things out. The arguing was to a minimum, but it was still present. At times I felt myself wondering if married/parent life in my mid-twenties was the best choice for me, for us. These were the cards I was dealt, though. I was the one who initiated a romantic situation with a prisoner, fell in love with him, became impregnated with his child, fought to get him out of jail, and now had to figure out how to live amongst him. I wished that Matt and I had met on normal circumstances, and that we had worked our way through a relationship like normal people… but, that was never going to happen. We just had to get through some rough times like every other married couple, but he just had to get over his second-in-command’s relationship with me.

I turned the stove off and placed the french toast down on the table, then poured two cups of coffee. When I spun around my eyes met Matt’s, slightly bloodshot and quite wet, “What…” I looked him up and down to see that my son wasn’t with him, “Where’s Alec?”

“Resting. He threw up and has a small fever. I called the doctor and they told me to give him a couple baby asprin, and if he isn’t doing better within the next couple hours we need to bring him in,” Matt rubbed his face with his hands.

I placed his cup of coffee down in front of him, “Why didn’t you come get me?”

“Because you would freak out and need to go to work today. I can handle this, Ivy. I’m the stay at home dad, after-all,” he responded and sat at the table, starting to eat his plate of breakfast.

A frown stayed on my face as I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his torso and resting my head on his upper-back. We argued a hell of a lot, but when it came down to it, he was an amazing father to Alec. He played both roles of mom and dad when I was at work, and he was right, he could handle a situation where our little boy wasn’t feeling well better than I probably could. I didn’t give him enough credit as a father, since I was so busy in my mind being angry at him as a husband.

“I love you,” I kissed his shoulder through his black t-shirt before joining him at the table.

“I love you, too. Thank you for making me breakfast and not poisoning me,” he laughed lightly and continued to eat.

I toyed with the food on my plate, allowing the cup of coffee in my hands to be the main source of energy in my stomach. It was like lately I enjoyed the feeling of nausea from not eating breakfast; like having a placebo effect of thinking I was pregnant although I knew I wasn’t. Maybe another kid would be enough to get us back to normal. Maybe then I could quit my job and just work from home again. Matt could go back to being happy working on projects around the house and I could focus on being a mother.

“What are you thinking about?” Matt set his fork down and pushed his empty plate forward. He leaned back in his chair, bringing his cup of coffee to his lips.

I licked my lips and sighed before making eye contact with him, “Us.”

This time, it was his turn to sigh. “Ivy, I know things have been rocky lately and I’ve been a little bit of a dick to you, but that doesn’t mean that our marriage is fading away. Do you ever think of how rough of a transition this has been for me? I never really thought I would get out of prison until I met you. Let alone thought that I would be married with a son when I got out and throw away everything I worked for. Have you realized that my life has never been rainbows and butterflies and being a stay at home dad to our bad ass kid?”

“I think about it all the time,” I said quietly. “I’m sorry I don’t talk to you about it because I don’t know how. If you’re having a rough time, talk to me about it. I can’t bring it up to you because you’ll shut me out.”

“Because you bring it up to me as a therapist, Iv,” Matt huffed and set his mug down. “If you would talk to me as my wife who cares about me, not as my shrink who wants to diagnose me bipolar, I would do it.”

I slammed my hand on the table, “You don’t think I fucking care about you? I care more about you than I care about my fucking self. And quite honestly, Matthew. You are fucking bipolar and some medication could do you some good because you refuse to do any of the mind exercises or meditation that I recommend.” I felt my eyes welling up with tears and I let my head fall into my hands, “I am so tired of fighting with you. I am mentally drained. I can’t even focus at work anymore, Matt.”

“What the hell do you want me to do?” He spat, “Medicate myself? Smoke weed everyday in between watching Alec while you work for no god damn reason just so you feel better about things? You’re the one that fell in love with the bipolar murderer, Ivy.”

“I want another baby,” I said calmly, looking up at him.

“What?” He responded quietly, his jaw slightly dropped as he looked at me wide-eyed.

I swallowed the spit collecting in the back of my throat, then cleared it, “I want to have another baby. I think it will help bring us back together. I’ll quit my job and stay home for good. You can work on things around the house, like you were doing before that made you busy and happy. We can put the pieces back together and Alec can have a little brother or sister.”

“I’ve been trying to get you pregnant for the last year,” Matt admitted.

I gave him a half-smile, “I’ve been on birth control.”

“You told me you were going off of it.”

“I lied,” I answered. “But now I will. I have a gynecologist appointment next week, anyway. I will talk to her about it. No more arguing, Matt. I can’t do it anymore.”

“Come here,” he pushed his chair back and held his arms out for me.

I stood up and walked over to him, perching on his lap and shoving my face into the crook of his neck. He rubbed my back gently as we sat in silence, just the sound of me sniffling filled the quiet room. We were going to get through this. We were going to have another baby. My hands grasped his t-shirt, balling it up in my fists as I tried to pull my body closer into his.

“DADDY!” Alec’s voice pulled us from our intimate moment, piercing the air throughout the house in a panicked scream. I hopped off Matt’s lap and followed behind him as he darted toward the stairs, heading for our son’s bedroom. When we walked in, Alec was sitting up in bed. The mess of dark hair on his head was sweaty as his body shook, his voice calling out for his father to scoop him up in tattooed, muscular arms.

“Ivy, can you grab the thermometer?” Matt asked as he held Alec close to his chest, “You’re going to be okay, bud. We’re going to take your temperature and then we might have to go visit the doctor.”

I held the thermometer to my son’s lips, my panicked eyes meeting his sad ones, “Open up, baby.” After the signal went off, it was apparent that his fever wasn’t going down at all. I heard Matt let out a nervous sigh, and looked up to see the whites of his eyes turning slightly red again. “Let’s go to the doctor. I’m not going to work today.”

Notes

trouble in paradise for these two...
but, happiness is soon to come!

thank you for putting up with my rare updates lately
i've been out of town for what feels like forever
i'll try to be back on track now!