Confession of a King

I laid on the couch with a pillow tucked under my head, a fuzzy blanket wrapped around my body as my eyes were glued to the television. Alec was on the floor, playing with some toys in his half-awake state. We had been home from vacation for three weeks now and things had been incredible for our little family. Last week was Alec’s first birthday, so we threw him a party which was more an adult party with a baby around, but it was still fun and he got love from all of his “uncle’s.” The unfortunate thing that came after Alec’s birthday was that I got hit with the stomach flu and then a sinus infection, so Matt was on full baby-duty. I felt bad that I was so helpless in the situation, but since he had so much free time right now he didn’t seem to mind taking care of Alec and me.

“You look great,” a voice sounded from the front door.

I cocked my neck to look at the person who was talking to me, but could only see a pair of short legs. I rolled my eyes and shoved my face back into the pillow. The night of Alec’s birthday, the guys had all gotten trashed at our house. I learned that Christ’s real name was Johnny, and I guess he remembered that the next day in his hungover state and now is back to his little-shit attitude.

“Look at the little sicky,” Brian’s voice now filled the room. I huffed as I felt him run his hands through my hair, “God damn, Ivy, you’re going to kill yourself under that blanket. Your hair is soaking wet!”

“Yeah, it’s called a fever of a hundred and one,” I grumbled and tried to pull myself away from Brian’s hand. Sitting up just made my pounding headache worse, so I frowned and dealt with his touch, “I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.”

“You look like it, too,” he laughed and plopped down on the couch by my feet, pulling them onto his lap. “No offense or anything. You’re still beautiful even when you’re on your death bed.”

“Glad I can always count on you to make me feel good about myself, Bri,” I smiled softly in his direction. He flashed back a toothy-grin and looked at the television with an eye roll. “Don’t hate on my lifetime movie.”

“Don’t you ever get sick of this shit?” He questioned.

“No,” Matt laughed while emerging from the stairs. “She’s been watching them for four days straight and refuses to let me change the channel.” Matt walked over and scooped Alec into his arms then looked at me with a sad smile, “How’s your head? Did you take your antibiotics? Do you need me to get you some gatorade?”

“Shads, you’re so whipped it’s disturbing,” Johnny muttered, still standing by the front door with his arms crossed over his chest.

Matt glared at the short man then looked back to me, “What’s your temperature?”

“Hundred and one,” I sighed and went to stand up from the couch, feeling woozy. Matt eyed me and went to talk, “I have to piss, Matthew. That’s one thing you can’t do for me.”

I went into the bathroom and did my business, then stared at my reflection in the mirror. My blanket was pooled on the floor at my feet, a pair of sweatpants hung loosely off my hips and a tank-top was hugging my upper body. My hair was disheveled and greasy, falling out of a messy bun, and I had dark bags under my eyes. The guys weren’t lying when they said I looked like shit… I looked fucking terrible. I hadn’t showered since I was diagnosed with my sinus infection, which meant I had only showered once since I was diagnosed with the stomach flu. I probably smelled disgusting, but I was so stuffed up I couldn’t notice. I told myself that once my fever went down, I’d try to shower, or at least have Matt help me shower. I splashed some cool water on my face, but standing back up the pounding in my head was enough for me to lean against the wall with tears filling my eyes.

I heard the door to the bathroom opened and assumed it was Matt checking on me, but I was slightly surprised when I heard Brian’s voice. “Matt put Alec down for a nap and said that he has some chicken noodle soup and a panini ready for you. I’ve never had a sinus infection, but from the way you’re acting it must be living hell… or it might not be, we all know you’re a little over dramatic.”

Brian’s words made me laugh a bit through my tears. I lifted my head from the wall and walked over to him, allowing him to wrap his arms around my shoulders and hold me close. “Dramatic or not, it’s like having the worst hangover in your life PLUS a cold. The doctor said it should be out of my system by tomorrow after the antibiotics have really kicked in, but I think I’m going to be on Mucinex for the next ten years to make sure this never happens again.”

“Did he say how you got it? Matt cum in your sinuses?” Brian joked as he rubbed my back.

“Allergies cause them. I’ve gotten them before, plenty of times. Just not this severe… I think because I probably have residual affects from the stomach flu it is just making this so much worse,” I sighed in his arms. “How are things going as the macho man? I haven’t had much time to talk to you.”

I felt Brian shrug, “Things are complacent. We don’t have anything going on that is out-of-the-ordinary, so it kind of feels the way it did when your man was in the slammer. It’s been an adjustment with our allies, with them realizing that they are now one-hundred-percent answering to me rather than Shadows, but things are coming around. How’s he handling the house-wife life?”

“He or me?” I laughed through my headache, “He won’t admit that he misses Avenged, but I think he does. He’s been keeping himself really busy between me being sick, Alec, video games, playing guitar and now some DIY landscaping shit in the backyard. He’s put down pavers for a patio, flower beds and is now talking about building a fire pit. Who knew he was into this kind of thing?”

“He’s like a whole new man with you, Iv. Keep it between us, but when you got the stomach flu, he was really hoping you were pregnant again. He’s so happy with you and your family; he’s turned his whole life around and views you as a saving grace,” Brian squeezed my shoulders. “I hope one day I find that same thing in someone, too.”

I looked up at him and our chocolate eyes met, “Matt didn’t have to change a thing and I would’ve loved him the same. I fell in love with him as he was; a gang-lord, a murderer, a freaking prisoner. You’re an incredible guy, Bri… you will find someone who loves and accepts you for who you are, and if you want to turn over a new leaf with them, then that’s great, but…”

“I don’t want a lecture,” he rolled his eyes.

I narrowed my eyes at him and nudged him lightly with my knee, “Let me finish. I had a few moments to myself, thinking about if I really and truly wanted Matt to leave Avenged. I honestly didn’t expect him to ever leave, and when it came down to it, I didn’t know that I really wanted him to. If he would’ve decided to stay alpha for the rest of his life, I would’ve stood by his side all the same. I love him with or without the gang, and yeah, without the gang I am learning more about him as he finally discovers himself… BUT, what you need is a girl who accepts you right now, accepts the gang, accepts the lifestyle you live, and if one day down the road you’re still smitten enough to want to live a normal life, then you do it, but you don’t look for someone to be your outlet from the demons you’ve created.”

“You two coming out any time soon?” Matt’s voice interrupted our conversation as his head poked through the door and doorframe. He had a slightly annoyed look on his face as he took in the image of me engulfed in Brian’s arms, “Or are you going to continue with your heart-to-heart and kiss at the end?”

I pulled myself from Brian and grabbed my blanket from the floor, wrapping it around myself. I followed Matt out the door and toward the kitchen, “Matthew…” He didn’t turn around and I huffed as he stepped into the kitchen, pushing my bowl and plate toward me and exiting the room. I grabbed his wrist, “Matthew Charles, what the fuck!”

“What the fuck, what?” He hissed as he turned around and looked at me. His eyes were angry and that vein on his forehead was bulging, “I send Gates to tell you that lunch is ready and you’re in there wrapped up in each others arms. Don’t what the fuck me, Ivy.”

I sighed, “Are you kidding me? You were obviously listening since you made the heart-to-heart comment, dumbass. You heard me talking about how much I love you. Don’t be an idiot. I don’t feel good and I won’t refrain from cutting your balls off while you sleep.”

“Maybe we should go,” Brian said while entering the kitchen, Johnny behind him. “We can catch up on bank statements later, Shads.”

“Good idea,” Matt practically sneered as Brian and Johnny slipped out of the kitchen and headed toward the front door.

I felt his eyes on me as I sat down and started eating the lunch he had prepared for me. I kept my back to him as I finished my soup, then reached for my glass of water. I popped the couple of Advil he had laid out for me into my mouth as I took a gulp of the cold liquid. Maybe it was the irritation I was feeling from Matt’s outburst, but something had me feeling slightly better in my infected state. I reached for the other half of my panini, taking one more bite then swallowing my pride to turn and look at him. Matt was obviously fuming as he stood with his back on the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest as he stared at me, his jaw tight. His hazel eyes were cold as the bored into my chocolate ones.

I raised an eyebrow at his stance, “Care to explain the jealousy, Mr. Sanders?”

“How the hell would you feel if you walked in on me and one of your best friends snuggled up in a secluded place, Ms. Miada?” He spat back at me.

“Seeing as my only best friend is Bri, I think I’d actually find it pretty fucking hysterical,” I smirked as he exhaled deeply out of his nostrils. “Really, Matt… what’s your deal? Bri and I have always been this way and you know that.”

“You two have gotten real touchy since he got us out of the fire, Ivy. The cuddling on couches, always having an arm around each other, the hugging while talking… it’s just getting to be a little much for my liking,” Matt sighed, defeated but obviously still annoyed.

I pursed my lips, “You don’t think I have feelings for him, do you? I’m in love with you, Matt. You’re my everything and then some. There’s no one else in this world that I would ever want to be with, build a family with, any of that… if you could’ve heard what I was telling him in there you wouldn’t have a single doubt in that big head of yours about my love for you.”

“I know you love me, baby,” he smiled softly, but then the smile fell. “But I also know that Brian’s in love with you and that you two have an interesting relationship. It worries me that you adore him more now and if something were to happen between you and I…”

“Stop,” I said while standing up and grabbing Matt’s hands in mine. I intertwined our fingers and rested my head on his chest, “You are the most confident man I’ve ever met until it comes to me. I love you, and I love that you can be vulnerable with me, but the only way I’m ever leaving you is if you kill me… and even then I will haunt your ass until you die and are stuck with me for eternity.”

That was it, I broke him down completely from his aggravated state. A deep laugh came out of Matt’s throat as my words filled his ears. He leaned down, his hazel eyes now full of love and admiration, as he caught my lips in his. We hadn’t been kissing since I had gotten sick, as I was scared enough that Matt would’ve gotten the stomach flu from just being around me and then Alec would’ve had to go back to live with Kim and Gary for a bit. Although my sinus infection wasn’t contagious, we were still trying to be careful not to get Matt sick at all. I pressed my lips against his firmly before pulling away and looking at him with a grin.

“Thank you for making me lunch. I sincerely appreciate it and I apologize for ruining your bank statement meeting,” I said sheepishly.

Matt shrugged, “I really didn’t feel like having that meeting, anyway. It’s too much work to transfer all this shit over to Brian… I should’ve just stayed in charge.”

“You can always go back!” I said quickly, earning an eye-roll from my lover, “Want to help me take a shower? I finally looked at myself in the mirror and if I smell nearly as bad as I look, I don’t know how you’ve been sleeping next to me.”

Another laugh came from Matt as he opened his mouth to speak, “You’re always beautiful and you don’t smell that bad…”

The phone ringing took both of our focuses from one another to the countertop where my cellphone sat. I looked at Matt, slightly confused, then walked over to my phone. I saw the number for the prison pop up on caller ID, and gnawed on my lip for a second before pressing answer, “Hello?”

“Ivy!” Jimmy’s voice filled the phone, bubbly as ever.

A smile crept across my chapped lips, realizing who was speaking to me, “Jimmy! What has you calling me?”

“I wanted to see if you were interested in being my visitor next Friday. Leanna unfortunately is out of the country on vacation with her sister. You do not sound well, Ivy.”

“I just have a sinus infection,” I smiled to myself. “I would love to come see you. Let them know that I will be your guest, and I will give the front desk a call tomorrow to confirm. Thank you for inviting me; I have been meaning to get in contact with you, but things have been a little chaotic.”

“I understand, Ivy. Life with Shadows in the real world must be anything from boring and ordinary,” Jimmy’s wild cackle sounded the phone. “Tell him I said hello and I look forward to seeing you Friday!”

Notes

JIMMY'S BACK!
Matt's jealous of Brian (what a weirdo)

Sorry for not updating in a while...
I had lost my motivation to do anything but drink for the holiday.

I am sad to say I have this story officially planned out to the end.
We still have a ways to go, but I've got the plot all figured out.

Feedback makes me happy.
I'll update Fallen in the next couple days, too.