Confession of a King

I hadn’t imagined the feeling of being a mother to be a whirlwind of emotions. It was exhausting and invigorating at the same time. I was thankful that I had no job, no responsibilities right now, other than Alec. He was a handful. From getting only an hour of sleep between feedings or crying fits, all the way to the amount of vomit and poopy diapers I had cleaned in the last two weeks… this was motherhood.

I was surprised at how well all of the guys, including Christ, adapted to having the small human around. Brian was pretty much on-call the way Matt would have been if he was around. Sometimes Brian would go ahead and deal with the dirty diaper and bottle feeding if it meant I could sleep for three hours straight. Zacky was obsessed with Alec, constantly wanting to hold him. We would be sitting on the couch and I would feel his eyes on me, a pout on his lips, wanting Alec in his tattooed arms. Christ wasn’t as affectionate, but I had caught him a number of times talking baby-talk to the little boy and poking him in his already-formed dimples.

Offended couldn’t even describe the way I felt when Chelsea had told me, “He looks just like you!” At the hospital. A newborn baby looks like a potato, not like either parent, in my opinion. Obviously I thought Alec was a beautiful little boy from the minute I learned I was having him, but he had started to grow into his features and actually start to look like a small human in the last couple of weeks. He was born with a full head of fluffy, dark hair. He had my nose and jaw, but Matt’s eyes and dimples. There must’ve been a recessive gene somewhere inside me to allow this child to be born with hazel eyes instead of my deep brown ones.

I sat in the study, Alec curled in my left arm against my chest, as I used my right hand to click the mouse of the computer. I was going to be seeing Matt later on today, spite his previous commands regarding me staying in the house. He needed to sign off on the birth certificate stating that he was Alec’s father, and I also told him I’d bring him by some photos of Alec. I pressed the print button, printing out a photo of me holding Alec in the hospital bed, then a couple of him laughing/smiling, then one of him sleeping. I looked down at the sleeping angel in my arms and smiled to myself, pulling him closer into my chest and cherishing these moments of content.

I heard someone clear their throat and swiveled in the desk chair to see Corey standing in the doorway, Zacky behind him. I raised an eyebrow as they both stepped into the room, closing the door behind them. I motioned to the sleeping child in my arms, as if telling them now was not the time. Corey frowned and Zacky held a finger up, opening the door and venturing the hallway for Brian. Corey had been around more, but I still wasn’t completely comfortable around him. Something about that conversation Matt and I had about his past with Corey just had me on edge. I wanted to believe that he wouldn’t try anything, but I wasn’t convincing myself.

Brian entered the room with Zacky and ushered me to hand Alec over to him. I frowned in protest and he eyed me, pretty much saying I had to do as he said. I extended my arms out and placed Alec in Brian’s, making sure to be careful to not wake the sleeping child. Brian smiled and pressed a kiss to Alec’s forehead, before walking out the room and closing the door behind himself.

“Did you get more information?” I asked, staring at the two men in front of me.

Zacky kicked one of his legs up on his knee, folding his hands over his lap, “We intercepted a phone call and put a bug in Behemoth’s SIM card. We will be having all of his phone calls recorded to an external hard drive unless he destroys the phone.”

“Impressive,” I pulled my knees to my chest. “Have we gotten any information off of those phone calls yet?”

“He’s been speaking with someone from inside the prison,” Zacky responded. “We don’t have a name, but we’ve tracked the location to the prison itself. We can have you listen to the recordings later to see if you recognize the voice.”

“You’re positive it is not an officer?” I asked, wondering if it was Red again. Zacky nodded his head, “This isn’t adding up.”

“The officer you’re thinking about paid off one of the inmates to get in contact with Behemoth. He didn’t do it by himself because that would be too easy of a connection for him to get nailed,” Corey spoke calmly. “So there is someone in there who is still communicating with Behemoth and is probably watching Shadows closely. He had left me a voicemail letting me know that he was aware that I was working with Shadows, and he would not be meeting me for any deals until Shadows is out of jail.”

I groaned, running my hands through my insanely long hair, “Let’s listen to these recordings this afternoon. Zacky, are you positive that you are able to take care of Alec for two hours? I can always just have Brian deliver the photos and paper work to…”

Zacky laughed, cutting me off, “Ivy, I am more than capable of two hours with the little snot.”

I sighed in relief, “You will call me if there is anything that seems out of the ordinary and I will rush back here. If he sniffles I expect a phone call.”

Corey chuckled, “I think between the three of us we can handle little Shads for two hours. He’s in good hands. It’s important for you to go see Shadows; I’m sure the king is dying without his queen.”

My cheeks heated up at his statement. Corey and Matt were in fact best friends, and had been in a gang together as underdogs prior to ending up on top. They didn’t want to ruin their friendship by battling for the alpha position, so they parted ways and created their own gangs, always being allies. They had helped each other out in a number of situations, and had pretty much owed each other huge debts that could never be paid off. Corey had confided in me that Matt had saved his life before, and that he would forever be in debt for that. I didn’t get to hear the whole situation, but supposedly it had something to do with a female that had manipulated Corey and landed him as a drug-lord’s hostage. Matt had taken out the man who had the gun held to Corey’s head, along with the female who got him into that situation. I had learned more about the “sharing girls” statement, as prior to Matt getting thrown in jail none of them had actual “girlfriends”. It was more-so just multiple girls that would bounce back and forth between Matt and Corey, then other girls amongst the rest of Avenged and Corey’s gang. Corey had explained to me that it was what they thought of as being “the life” back in the day, they had all the money they needed and all the girls they wanted to fuck. The whole thought of it grossed me out, but I understood it. That was the lifestyle. Corey was both surprised and proud of Matt for his infatuation and commitment to me. He also felt the same way regarding Brian and Chelsea.

I gave myself a once-over in the mirror, which seemed to be my new thing whenever I was going to be seeing Matt. I had gotten so used to seeing myself pregnant, it was hard to get used to seeing myself not-pregnant. I was also honestly surprised that I had lost a significant amount of weight within the last two weeks. I was definitely not back to my pre-baby body, but I had been exercising when I could and trying to eat right so that I could at least gain a hot mom-body. My long hair was pulled into a braid, resting on my right shoulder. I had on a little bit of eyeliner, mascara and bronzer. I slid a coat of chapstick on my lips, looking down at my clothes. I had on a pair of jeans, being back in my college-weight jeans (heavy drinker, those are other stories), a black v-neck shirt and cream cardigan. As usual, flip flops on my feet because hey, we lived in California.

“You ready?” Brian’s voice spoke from behind me, stepping into the bathroom and looking at me in the mirror. “I can’t wait till you’re able to go out in public and people ask if that’s your little brother.”

I laughed and turned to face him, “What was I saying before? I looked like I belonged on sixteen and pregnant.”

We walked out of the house and Brian drove the two of us to the prison. Since I was now going to be representing Matt in court, I was granted the right to be in on his visits with Brian to talk about legal matters. I was sure that the officers thought I was a total cunt for doing this, but I didn’t care and they couldn’t give me shit for it. We signed in and waited for Ken to escort us back to the room where we would be meeting Matt. I hadn’t seen him in weeks, so my nerves were all over the place.

I felt Brian’s hand on the small of my back as we walked and I looked up to him with a smile. “He’s not going to be restrained in here, so please keep things PG-13 for my sake,” Brian whispered into my ear with a laugh once we reached the door.

“You have one hour,” Ken stated and let us into the room, closing it behind us.

My eyes immediately fixated on Matt sitting on the opposite side of the table, his eyes burning into me. Almost instantly he got up, pushing the chair to the ground and waltzed over to me. My back was pressed against the wall as his large, tattooed arms engulfed my body, nearly taking my breath away. His lips connected to mine, softly but with a hint of need, a hint of dominant aggression reminding me that I was his and only his. My arms wrapped around his broad shoulders, my hands running through his hair.

I pulled his head from mine and rubbed my nose against his own, “I’ve been dying to have your lips on mine for months.”

Matt smirked and leaned in once more, kissing me more passionately and pushing his pelvis into mine, “How bad is it that I’m ready to get you pregnant again?”

“That’s enough,” Brian’s voice erupted from the table, causing me to giggle in Matt’s arms. “Let’s get to business before you two start fucking like bunnies.”

Matt sat down at the table and I went to sit in the chair next to him, but instead he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me onto his lap. I wasn’t going to fight him on the position because I enjoyed it. He rested his chin on my shoulder as I pulled out the birth certificate for him to sign, along with the photos of Alec.

His hands immediately grabbed for the photos, flipping through them with a smile on his face, “What a heart breaker. We have a good looking kid, Iv.” He landed on the last photo, the picture Brian took of me lying in the hospital bed, a smile plastered on my tear-stained face with Alec in my arms. I could hear Matt lick over his lips then breathe out slightly jagged, “Can I keep this one?”

I saw Brian look at Matt then immediately look down at the table. I turned my head so that my eyes could meet his. His eyes wet, full of admiration. I grabbed his left hand and laced my fingers in his, “You can keep all of them, baby.” He smiled and I kissed his cheek then wiped his eyes, “I wish you could’ve been there, but you’ll be there for the next one.”

“And the three more after that,” he muttered with a child-like grin.

“I don’t know if my vagina can handle giving birth five times,” I said honestly. Matt scrunched his nose up and I heard Brian gag out-loud. “Don’t be childish. Here, I need you to sign off on this so that Alec is legally a Sanders.”

Matt quickly grabbed the pen on the table and filled out the paternal information on the birth certificate, finishing it off with his signature and a kiss behind my ear. I put the birth certificate back in my bag, making a mental note to take it to the health department on the way home. Brian made a comment about how we needed to talk about stuff for the trial, so we got into a more serious mode, but Matt still kept the photo of me holding Alec face-up on the table, and I saw his eyes glance to it throughout the conversation. Two weeks and two days until he could potentially be holding his son, lying in bed by my side. I think reality was starting to set in to him, and I saw the glow in his eyes that he was ready to conquer this.

Notes