Confession of a King

After a two hour session with the inmate Jimmy, I could tell why the last psychiatrist, Maria, felt as if she was losing her mind. The guy had a lot of knowledge to offer, though he was a little on the strange side. I understood that it was his first day with me, but he did not want to talk about anything other than his observations of me and things of the sort. Nothing of his feelings or dreams or anything, but maybe he had yet to open up completely to me. He could definitely talk your ear off. I think I was only able to get a maximum of ten minutes of words in throughout the whole two hours. He talked nonstop and laughed at nearly everything he said. When the guards came in to get him you could tell that all they thought about him was that he was a smart-ass. They strapped him back up in his straight jacket. He had told me that he enjoyed messing with the guards because he knew they were terrified of him. He hissed at them and pretended to snap his jaw as they tried to put his metal mouth restraint back on. I tried my hardest not to laugh as they fought against his whipping head with wide eyes.

The session I had after Jimmy was with the boy Jeremy Scott. He was not a talker… in fact he just looked at me once then stared at the walls inside my office. I tried my hardest to get a few words out of him, but it was no use. He did not want to speak to me. I understood, though. He was really young and probably got in here on account of a mistake he probably did not mean to make, I do not know for sure. I could only imagine how much the kid had seen in his small amount of time in this place. He looked broken… distraught. His blonde hair was dirty and in clumps, his skin a little pale and black and blue on his arms. I only took one glimpse at his eyes and they seemed a bit sunken in. I made notes of this while he sat in my presence. He was about the same age as my younger brother… my brother was around seventeen and a half. It saddened me to see a kid so broken down because of a mistake he made out of what I was guessing was anger. He gnawed on his bottom lip as he stared at the walls around my office. One of his hands twitched under the restraint on his wrist, I was feeling that he was getting a little anxious and uncomfortable with the silence and my gaze on him.

"Hey," I spoke quietly with a smile. "Do you want me to undo your wrists?" His eyes diverted back to me as he stared at me still chewing on his lip. "I can ask the guards to undo them, I understand that they're probably a pain in the butt. Would you like that?" He nodded and I stood up to go get one of the guards to come undo the restraints.

"You sure you want this? He's in here for murder?" The guard who I learned went by the name Red said while twirling the keys in his hand.

"He's just a kid, I'm not worried about him." He nodded and undid the restraints. "Thanks, Red."

"No problem, gorgeous," he smiled and walked out of the room closing the door behind him.

Jeremy looked at me once again with a small smile, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I smiled back. "Are you ready to talk yet?" He shook his head. "Okay, just take your time," I smiled and he nodded again before gazing back at the wall.

The time went on again, I still didn't get any words out of Jeremy. But I felt a bit better since he said a couple words and at least acknowledged me with a thank you and a smile. I was hoping that within the next few sessions he would finally be able to open up a little to me. I knew that being in a prison like this at his age had to be a scary thing. I mean, prison is scary for anyone at any age their first time. Could you even imagine coming into a place like this? The things that these people see every day and the things that are done to them are absolutely terrible. Especially if they are a young kid who doesn't really fit in with many of the rough around the edge people here. Everyone knows that people get raped, beat, and even sometimes killed inside prisons. It really bothered me to know that this kid had probably already experienced the first two in the small amount of time he had been here. When the guards came back in to get him Jeremy gave me a small smile as I said goodbye. That broken look was still present in his eyes. I made a mental note to go home and talk to my little brother later tonight… just because this kid reminded me so much of him.

I placed Jeremy's files on the pile with Jimmy's that was on the corner of my desk and changed the recording tapes over for the next inmate. I opened up another file on Pages and flipped open a new spiral notebook and wrote in big letters on top: Inmate - Matthew Charles Sanders. I looked to the clock, it was already four in the afternoon… I had two hours left here with this inmate and then I had to log out and head home for the evening. I groaned at remembering my apartment was a total dump. I needed to clean up from the weekend… never again am I having a girls night at my place. I ran a hand through my hair before tapping my fingers on the desk. I heard a little bit of a commotion outside of my office door. I knew that Sanders must be here.

When the door opened I was greeted with not only Red and Billy, but also Sanders himself.

"Quit fuckin' pushing me, Johnson," Sanders snarled at Red before turning his attention over to me. A smirk came across his face, "Fresh bait."

"Watch yourself, Shadows," Red spoke sternly while pushing Sanders into one of the chairs across from my desk and clamping one of his wrists into the restraints while Billy fumbled with trying to get the ankle restraints on.

"Well aren't you a pretty little thing," Sanders continued to smirk at me before licking his lips. His hazel eyes were staring at me hungrily, dancing with lust and desire.

"She ain't no piece of meat, Shadows," Billy spoke as he stood up. His Tennessee accent coming out strong. "Don't fuck with this one. She ain't no Maria."

"Oh I can tell," he continued to stare at me.

Red rolled his eyes and looked over at me. "Don't let him bother you. He does anything wrong or anything that bothers you and you know what to do. We'll be right outside that door."

"Thanks boys," I smiled at Red and Billy.

"Yeah, boys," Sanders chuckled. "You can leave now."

Once the two guards left I shifted in my seat uncomfortably and pulled my camisole up higher on my chest and buttoned my blazer up a little bit.

"You can button that all the way up to your fuckin' ears but I'm still gonna get a boner, babe," Sanders chuckled and I looked up to meet his eyes with mine.

"I'd prefer if you didn't talk to me like that, Matthew," I said sternly and pursed my lips.

He smirked at me before letting out a hearty laugh. "I could care less what you prefer, sweetheart. And don't do that with your lips unless you plan on usin' them on somethin'."

I rolled my eyes, "So Matthew, are you always this much of a pig or are we going to get some business done in here?"

"The only business that's gonna be done in here is me bendin' you over on that desk, Ivy."

My heart dropped and my eyes widened. I hadn't introduced myself to him yet. "How do you know my name?" He just continued to smirk and closed both of his eyes. "Anyway, why don't you tell me some things about yourself?"

One of his eyes opened as his mouth turned into a straight line and then he sucked his bottom lip in then released it and opened his mouth. "Nah."

I groaned and rolled my eyes, he was going to be a challenge. I just shut up and began to type up a small report of Jimmy and Jeremy on my Macbook. I kept the tape recorder on just incase Sanders decided to start talking again. I wrote about Jimmy's demeanor and how I had observed his actions and the way he spoke. I found myself laughing as I wrote about his crazy cackle, but I stifled my laugh by throwing my hand over my mouth. I then wrote about Jeremy and how he was not willing to talk and seemed pretty broken. I also wrote about how he looked as if he would be willing to open up soon. I had nothing to write about Sanders yet other than the fact that he was a pig and didn't want to talk about his personal self other than the thoughts he had about me. I glanced over at him, he still had his eyes closed, his mouth now in a tight line and his head resting back on the chair underneath him. I guessed he was asleep and I had nothing better to do than grab my pen and do a small sketch of him on the notebook in front of me.

I drew for about forty-five minutes and when I was doing some last minute shading I heard him spoke up. "Lemme' see that when you're done." I glanced up at him and nodded before finishing up shading the stubble on his face. I held the notebook up to him and he studied it. "That's pretty good."

"Thanks," I said softly before putting the notebook back down on my desk. "You look like you're in deep thought," I spoke up as I watched Sanders stare outside the window in my office with his brows furrowed.

"What's it to ya'?" He said roughly and continued to stare outside the window.

"I was just wondering… I am your psychiatrist," I mumbled and tapped my pen on the desk. I looked over at the clock… I had forty minutes left with him and I was beginning to feel that I got more out of Jeremy than I did Sanders.

"Can you stop tapping? That's really fuckin' irritating," Sanders growled and I looked over to see him staring at me intently. I just continued to tap my pen, thinking maybe I could get a little something out of the man to be able to put something down on paper. "Stop," he growled again. I raised one eyebrow at him and continued to tap. "Ivy," he growled, "if I wasn't stuck to this fucking chair I'd be choking you right now." I snickered at his face becoming red and furious as I brought the pen up to my mouth and clicked the top against it for a few more minutes… working his anger up even more. "FUCKING STOP WITH THE PEN!" He yelled from his seat, a vain about to pop out of his forehead.

I laughed and put the pen on my desk, "Do we have some anger issues, Sanders?" He scowled at me. "You look so threatening right now, Matthew."

"Bitch," he said with a chuckle and shook his head. "You did that just to get a fuckin' kick out of me."

"It worked," I shrugged my shoulders and sunk back in my desk chair and sighed. "I wouldn't have had to do that if you would have just spoke."

"I don't talk," he huffed from his spot. "And I am most definitely not gonna talk to some damn shrink."

"I'm here to help you," I ran a hand through my hair and placed my elbows on my desk and my head in my hands. "And how can I help you if you don't talk."

"I don't need your damn help, Ivy, unless you're gonna help me by suckin' my dick."

I rolled my eyes, "And for a second I thought that part of you had left the room."

"Babe, that part of me ain't goin' nowhere," he smirked.

"Whatever, Matthew."

He groaned, "You sound like my mother. Can't you just call me Matt?"

"We're not on that friendly level yet, Matthew, so no." I smirked at him as he rolled his eyes.

"Well can you fuckin' come over here and scratch the back of my head 'cause I'm about to fuckin' explode," he grumbled. I rolled my eyes and stood up and walked over to him and scratched the back of his buzzed head when I felt something wet on my collar bone.

I pulled my hand away from him and shot daggers with my eyes, "Did you just lick me?" He just grinned and I wiped the wet off me and walked back over to my chair. "You're disgusting." He shrugged and closed his eyes again.

As the next few minutes passed I looked at the clock and realized his time would be up really soon. I began to type up a small report on him and put his file aside with Jimmy and Jeremy's. I'd be taking them home tonight with me to read a little more. I closed up my notebook and placed it in my bag with the others and then placed the files inside with it. I then closed my laptop and put it in it's own case as well.

"Am I last for the day?" I heard Sanders speak up.

"Yeah, last one every Monday." I just said and continued to pack up my things.

The door opened and Red and Billy walked back in to get him and bring him back to his cell.

"Alright, Shadows, it's time to go in," Red said while opening up handcuffs as Billy undid the wrist restraints. Once the cuffs were on they undid the ankle restraints and pushed Sanders out of his chair.

"You know I know how to fuckin' walk, you assholes." Sanders scoffed and then bucked at Billy who backed up a little bit behind Red. "You scared little bitch," he chuckled.

"Let's go, Shadows," Red grumbled and pushed him out of the room.

"Bye my sweet Ivy!" I heard Sanders yell down the hallway and I groaned and turned off the tape recorder.
‹ Chapter 1

Notes