Break in the Motion

I don’t know what made me go in that fortune teller’s shady little parlor, maybe it was the flashy sign saying ‘Let me help you come to terms with your past’ or maybe it was the desperate need to hear that everything’s going to be okay and my life would take the turn for the better. I didn’t know, I just knew that I opened the door and walked in, meeting up close with a dark skinned woman.

„I’m—„ I couldn’t even finish my sentence, when she cut me off.

„I know why you’re here, child,” She smiled, sitting down at the round table in the middle of the room, gesturing for me to take a seat in front of her. „You’re here for guidance.”

I would’ve rolled my eyes if I hadn’t been taught better. With a heavy sigh I took the seat, placing my bag inside my lap. „So how does this go... you need my hand or something?” I really had no idea what goes down in these kind of places, so I made my judgement basing on all those movies I’ve seen about palm readers.

„No.” She shook her head. „What bothers you, love?”

„Try... everything.” I exhaled heavily.

„You feel like you’re freshly out of luck, don’t you?”

„Yeah, for the last five years.” I agreed, yet remained a bit skeptical. If a person didn’t feel like he has a curse put on him, he’d never step his foot in an establishment like this.

„What would you tell yourself if you could go back to... year 2012 and meet yourself?” She asked, watching me intently.

„Probably to pull her head out of her arse,” I mused, „excuse my language.”

„So you think you made a wrong turn in your past?” She ignored my cursing and just kept on asking me all these questions. What if, what if, what if... What if I did this and what if I did that... Sure, the gameplay would’ve been different, but would the outcome differ too? I wasn’t that sure about it.

„I don’t think I made a wrong turn, I know I did.”

The woman’s lips formed in a grin and suddenly, with no warning, she took both of my hands and combinations of words I couldn’t understand just started rolled over her lips. The way she spoke was soothing, comforting... Made me zone out. It was like I was in a trance and then, just like that, something clicked in my head and I jerked back in my seat, since no one was pulling at my hands anymore.

The woman was gone.

„What the...” I looked around, but the place seemed stranded. A single candle was burning by the window, which seemed to be boarded up. This was... strange.

I slowly stood up, trying to shake the uneasy feeling off of me as I walked out of the parlor and quite frankly nothing gave evidence that I had just walked out of some gypsy’s lair. The place looked like it was abandoned for years.

The strangest feeling.

Like I was having a constant deja vu.

As I walked back home, in the far distance I spotted a bright pink head, walking across the street, happily smiling to the guy she was holding hands with. I couldn’t bare but smile to myself. I used to be happy like that. I used to have a person, who forced my lips to curl in a smile.

I shook the thought away as I crossed the street, seeing the apartment building hovering above me. I dug deep in my bag to find my set of keys as I pushed open the front doors and walked up the set of stairs only to stop in front of the dark black door. The golden number on the door I remembered gluing on just weeks ago was missing. I sighed. Couldn’t people just go a day without destroying someone else’s property? Was that even possible?

Quickly I unlocked the door to the apartment and pushed it open. As soon as I walked in, something felt off. The door closed behind be with a thud as I cautiously walked further. My perfume was missing from that wooden stand by the mirror. And so were all the leather jackets and coats from the hangers on the wall.

Hesitantly I moved further down the hallway, stopping by the door to my room. As soon as I put my hand on the door, it slowly swung open. „The lock’s still broken...” I mused right before my eyes landed on the empty space. The first thought to hit my mind – I’ve been robbed! I placed a step ahead, looking at all the boxes and plastic bags full with things, knowing that’s the exact spot where my bed was supposed to be. And that spot right there... Right next to the door. My wardrobe stood there! My eyes fixed on the far right of the room, spotting a single mattress with a silvery laptop laying on it.

„This can’t be...” I whispered to myself, suddenly feeling like I was going to throw up. The room looked exactly like this when I moved in with Brian. This is how we lived for the first month of us being together! I was going crazy... I was literally going mad.

I ran out of the apartment and let my feet carry me out of the building itself. I was hyperventilating. This is crazy... I must be crazy. I fished out my phone from the leather bag. Two words. Only two words were mockingly blinking at me – No service. „Goddammit...” I cursed, while frantically looking around. Searching for an explanation. I am dreaming... Fuck, this isn’t real. This can’t be real.

My eyes landed on an elderly woman, who was closing in, I simply jumped in front of her, bringing a frown on her wrinkled face. „Which year is this?” I know, trust me, I know how crazy I sounded.

The crease between her eyebrows grew even deeper, „2012...” She replied, „Are you okay, dear?”

2012... Twenty-fucking-twelve... My fingers anxiously ran through my hair. This couldn’t be... Without a word I simply started walking off. 2012? How could it be? This morning it was 2017 and now it’s 2012? I started walking back the street. The old hag is nutts. I can’t be in a five year long past.

I rushed down the street. In a ten minute walk from the apartment building had to be the hair studio I worked in. When I stopped in front of the building, every single curse word sped through my brain at 80 miles per hour. There was no studio. It was still a bank.

Maybe I was drugged... Maybe someone slipped a combination of every psychedelic drug into my drink... Maybe I was hallucinating. This had to be it, right? Sadly not even my mind could come up with such realistic looking world.

„Jesus fucking Christ...” I mused, probably coming off like a complete lunatic. Well... this was in fact fucking crazy. Was I the past me?

My feet carried me around the corner of the building. I stopped in front of one of the windows, seeing the reflection mirroring back at me. No... this was the 2017 me. My hair wasn’t bright pink and I wasn’t wearing one of those stupidly funny t-shirts I loved so much. My ombre was still prominent in my hair, so was the fringe (which was the ultimate mistake of 2017). I was wearing a trench coat, a black button-up shirt and the same black jeans I remember sleepily pulling over my legs in the morning. I looked nothing like the rocker chick I used to be five years ago.

So I was not her... So... there were two of me...

I had to find me. Well... the past me. I had to figure this out.

„Think Laurel, think... Where were we five years ago on this day?” I pushed back the sleeve of the coat and looked over my wristwatch. Five o’clock. I must be at work... At the crappy bar I earned practically nothing back in the day. At that same shithole I met him.

„This makes no sense...” I mused as I walked down the street. That gypsy did this... How could she throw me in a time where I didn’t exist in the shape or form I was right now? There was no other explanation.

There was a tiny pebble in my boot and it was slowly killing me, but I refused to stop and shake it out of it. I had to find myself. I had to see if this really was true.

I had stopped across the street from the bar which in my time and day was closed by the way. Such a surreal feeling. Several Harley Davidson’s were parked by the bar. Right above the small terrace stood the title written in crimson letters – Bloodhounds. The owner was a member of Hell’s Angels, so it was no surprise to walk in the bar and see it crowded with those leather vests at any time of the day.

Just as I was about to cross the street, I noticed the pink haired girl walk through the front door of the bar and lean against the wall in attempt to meditate with a cigarette lingering from her lips. From my lips.

I froze. My heart was threatening to jump out of my chest. What would you do if you found yourself standing in front of... yourself?

With a deep breath I let my feet carry me towards her. „Laurel,” I spoke whilst fighting with the anxiety. I swear to god... this was fucking insane.

She didn’t even raise her eyes from her phone, as she replied, „I’m on my fucking break...”

„You’re on your fucking break every half an hour,” I said, remembering the disgusting habit of destroying two packs a day. Finally she raised her eyes to me and for a moment I thought she didn’t recognize who the hell I was. But then I remember reading somewhere, that it was scientifically proven that if you met yourself, you wouldn’t know that it was you in fact. The fact that I had changed practically everything in my appearance through the years was just a bonus feature in this fucked situation.

„You—„ She cut herself short as her eyes slid over me. It seemed she just went fifty shades paler. „You are... me...” She whispered as she frowned. „Am I high or something? I swear I didn’t take any drugs...”

„This is real,” I assured her. She reached out to touch my face, with the cigarette still firmly pressed between her fingers.

„How is this possible? I’m going crazy, aren’t I?” She shook her head as if trying to shake me away. „I’m finally gone mad...”

„ Relax,” I hushed, dragging her aside so nobody could hear her freaking the fuck out. „I’m here... and I’m you. Or you’re me,” I shook my head, „whatever, my point is... Today I woke up in year 2017 and now I’m in 2012... You need to help me figure this out so I could return to my time...”

„Wait... you’re the future me?” Her eyebrows shot up as she kicked the remainders of the cigarette away with her fingers. „You look like... money. So are we rich?”

I frowned to her question. Was I rich? No, I wasn’t. Could I provide for myself? Not without a struggle, but... yeah, I could. Was I wealthier than the past me? You bet your sweet ass I was. „I wouldn’t say that...”

„Laurel?” A very familiar voice spoke. I hadn’t heard that timbre for a long time. My heart jumped as we both looked at the tall man approaching us with a whiskey glass in his hand as he lit his cigarette. I looked back at myself and saw her eyes color in the shade of desperation. „Why didn’t you tell me you were going for a smoke?”

Brian stopped right next to us, looking at me with a cocked eyebrow. I suddenly felt infuriated. I remembered all those asshole moves he pulled back in the day. Back in this day. Seeing that smug smirk did something to me. I felt like I could rip the guy apart, but instead I pulled a make-believe smile on my face. „I’m Lucy,” I said, remembering my mom calling me that from time to time. Why? Beats me. „I’m Laurel’s twin.” That was the quickest lie I had come up in ages. Frankly, I hated lying, but the situation demanded for it.

„I didn’t know you had a twin,” His eyes shifted to Laurel.

„Y-yeah, I guess... I forgot to mention her.” She stuttered. „I just... it’s been so long since the last time I saw her.” Brian put his arm around her as if telling me that she’s his property. I subconsciously clenched my fist, knowing exactly where this was headed. Too bad the old Laurel didn’t.

„Well, it’s a pleasure meeting you,” He flashed me a smile, „We’d love for you to come over someday. I’d love to hear some embarrassing stories about my Laurel.”

I had completely forgotten about the ‘we’s’. Back in the day he refused to admit that I was my own person and I could think on my own. Come on girl, you’re so much better than this. I noticed how uncomfortable she...I... felt and I knew she understood me and Brian hadn’t ended our cooperation on a good note. You had to be a complete idiot not to put two and two together. He had always assumed that I was his property. The fucking prick...

„Actually, I’d love to head in and have a drink,” I smiled up at him, before fixing my eyes on my pink haired self. „Laurel, you’re working today?”

„Y-yeah,” She sighed, before getting out from under his arm.

„Guide the way,” I said, following her inside and leaving Brian smoking in solitary confinement.

„So I guess we didn’t get hitched in Vegas, huh,” She laughed sadly, glancing back at me over her shoulder. Be careful what you tell her... A strange voice sounded in my head. Was that the... gypsy? How was she in my fucking head?

„No.” I mouthed with a shake of my head, figuring it was self-explanatory. I knew even the past me was well aware of the fact what kind of person Brian truly was, only she... me... I decided to ignore all the red flags back in the day.

„So what will it be?” She asked me as soon as she slipped behind the counter. It felt a bit nostalgic I guess being back in this place. Quite frankly, I didn’t remember this day, maybe because I needed great amounts of booze to force myself to think loving Brian was the greatest idea that had hit me. „Vodka cranberry?”

„God no,” I mimicked in disgust, receiving an arched brow from her. Yeah, love, we don’t drink anymore. „Coffee would be great.”

„I’m assuming you’re talking about an Irish Coffee, right?” She questioned as she moved to take a cup from the top of the big coffee machine.

„No. Just... A black coffee.”

„Wait... so I don’t drink anymore?” She leaned over the counter and asked me in a hushed voice right as she had pressed a button on the coffee maker.

„No.” I answered silently, taking in my surroundings. The place seemed rather quiet. In my memories the bar was always bustling with people, but I guess that wasn’t the truth. God... don’t drink kids. Take it from one who’s made a lot of mistakes in her life and the biggest one just sat down beside me on one of the bar stools.

„So, Lucy...” Brian started, savoring my fake name. He was such a fucking cheating bastard. His girl was in front of him, but yet he had this cheating game on. „Tell me something about yourself. What do you do for a living?”

Besides hating you? „I’m a hairdresser.”

„Whoa, so I... you didn’t become a lawyer?” I smirked on the thought. No, dear, you’ll go back to being a hairdresser and all thanks to this specimen right here.

„Let’s just say – I stick to my roots.” I replied just as she placed the cup of coffee in front of me.

„So you really haven’t talked in a while, huh?” Brian spoke thoughtfully, bringing the glass to his lips as he watched me intently.

„Five years.” I took a sip of the coffee, „A lot has changed. Oh I completely forgot—„ I cut myself short as I dug deep in the bag in search of my wallet. I was pleasantly surprised to find out I wasn’t broke. Though my credit card was gone. I took out a Ben Franklin and held it out to her, „I have to pay for the coffee.”

She shook her head, fixing her eyes on all the banknotes in my wallet, before averting her gaze to my face. „It’s on me.”

„Don’t be ridiculous, take the money,” You think Brian has money, but in all actuality he doesn’t have two dimes to rub together. What he has is a huge debt and a very slight problem with liquor and women. „Take the money, Laurel...” I insisted, making her hesitantly reach for the Franklin.

„Okay, that was weird,” Brian chuckled, holding his glass out for her to get a refill.

„M. Shadows is in the building!” I heard the raspy voice announce, bringing a chuckle out of Laurel and a smirk on my lips. God... why didn’t I fall in love with him instead of this... pathetic glimpse of a man. But in my defense, I can honestly say in 2017 Brian is a changed man. And I love that man, but there’s no way in hell I’ll take him back after all the shit he’d done to me.

„Shads, my man,” Brian got up from the stool, going in for one of them man hugs with Matt. „What took you so long?”

„Me and Val broke up... and then we made up,” He chuckled. Yeah, I remembered the never-ending cycle of them being at each other’s throats and then fucking out the angst of each other. I remembered it too well.

„So basically you left me waiting ‘cause you fucked her.” Brian laughed as he pulled back from him.

„Hey, a man has it’s needs,” Matt chuckled, his eyes fixing on me and the corner of his lips raising in a grin. „I don’t believe I’ve met this fine lady before. I’m Matt,” He held out his hand.

Oh you have, man... I’m standing behind the counter five nights out of seven. Nevertheless I took his hand, which he instantly brought to his lips, pecking the surface of my palm. „I’m Lucy,” I replied shaking my head at his antics.

„It’s my absolute pleasure.” He winked, letting go of my hand. „Wait...” Suddenly his smile turned upside down as he shifted his attention from me to Laurel. Yeah, we were the same person. „You both are... twins?”

„Yeah...” I nodded.

„Gates... it’s like I’m looking at your girl, only this one knows how to properly dress herself.” He laughed.

„Hey!” Laurel threw a straw at him, making him explode in an even bigger laughter. „I have a great sense of fashion!”

„You would, if you’d look like her,” Matt pointed to me. I couldn’t bare but smile, he’s always been a decent guy. Why couldn’t we end up together?

I sighed, deciding to have a smoke, but just as I got off the bar stool, I saw a face I didn’t want to see. Laurel didn’t know her yet, but I knew her all too well. I swear to god, I haven’t met a more deranged person in my life. Michelle was one in a million.

„Can I get a Coors Light?” She spoke in her shrill voice as soon as she had stopped at the counter.

„Sure.” Laurel answered and as soon as her back was turned, Brian winked at her. So it had begun this early in our relationship? Fucking asshole.

I had a heated discussion in my head- should I tell her?

Notes

I had this thought in my head for quite some time now.
I just needed to put it on paper. What do you think, should I continue with this? because right now I'm not quite sure how this will turn out. At first I thought to make it non fiction (and maybe I will convert it to a original story if I can make myself continue writing) so I don't know if I should make the guys famous. I've never written a fanfic where they're mere mortals.
Let me know what you think!