Take Me Back to Start

Jolie Nickelson could feel every ache and pain throughout her body. She felt weak and had no energy to even move. The hospital bed wasn’t that comfortable and everything was too white. She hated the room she was in, but there was no leaving yet. Doctors and nurses were constantly coming and going. They all kept updating her on her condition, but she barely even listened. Her head was swimming with thoughts. How did everything come this far?

“What the fuck were you thinking?” the furious voice of Alex Cleary nearly echoed throughout the pent out he and Jolie shared for the last three years. Jolie looked up at the man she had fallen in love with years ago and bit her lip roughly. If she didn’t already know she was in trouble, his tone and the look in his eyes would have given it all away. She had seen that look many times before. Actually, she knew what all of his looks meant.

“I-I didn’t do anything, I swear. He came onto me. You pushed through the crowd too fast and I couldn’t keep up…Then that guy grabbed me. I told him I was taken right away,” Jolie rambled quickly while looking at her feet. She knew her excuse wouldn’t mean anything.

Suddenly, Alex slammed Jolie against the wall making her whimper out loudly. “Am I supposed to believe your lies? You’re always lying to me! Always trying to leave me! Why can’t you just love me like I love you?” he snapped straight away as he roughly held onto her arms leaving bruises.

Guilt and fear instantly filled Jolie making a tear slip from her eye. “Of course I love you! I’m not lying to you! I don’t want anyone, but you,” she desperately whimpered, basically begging for him to believe her. All she received in return was a hard slap across her face that ripped at her lip making it bleed a little bit.

“Is that what you were thinking when you went off with that guy? You were thinking about how much you loved me as he touched you?” Alex questioned practically screaming, “This is why I don’t bring you out with me! You’re just trouble, Jolie! I can’t trust you! It’s been years, but you still haven’t learned anything.” With that, another hit, sending her to the floor in a heap. Alex kicked her in the ribs twice before stopping. “What? Nothing more to say? Do I even matter to you?” he yelled.

Jolie was breathless from the kicks and just started to cry harder. She didn’t know what to say to get through to him. “You’re my entire world, Alex…” she whispered. Alex scoffed hitting her again and again. He didn’t believe anything she said.

“Ms.Nickelson? You have a visitor,” one of the sweet, young nurses spoke softly drawing Jolie from her thoughts. Jolie looked up hearing what she said, but not really comprehending. The look in her eyes was still lost, even haunted. She assumed it was Alex. At least she knew he would be sweet for now. He’d show her some affection and feel guilty for what happened. Instead, she was shocked when she saw a tall, middle aged man walk in. “Daddy?” Jolie asked in a hoarse whisper with her eyes growing wide in shock.

Scott Nickelson looked down at his twenty-four-year old daughter and he saw a flash of her as a scared child. He never saw her so broken. Nearly every inch of her skin that he could see on her arms and chest were covered in bruises. Her lip was busted on the side, there was a clear handprint on her cheek, and swelling around her eye that was sure to bruise. Her usual bright blue eyes were dulled to a grey with practically no life. “Oh honey…You should have called. You should have…” he instantly started to speak before trailing off and sitting next to her bed gently taking her hand in his.

Jolie was overwhelmed by her father’s presence. It had been at least two years since the last time she saw him. Fresh tears started to fall from her eyes as she mustered up enough energy to squeeze his hand. “I’m so sorry, Daddy, I’m so sorry. I missed you so much,” she started to ramble, but her throat felt raw.

With a small smile, Scott shook his head and gently went to brush her messy, chocolate brown hair out of her face, making her cringe. He instantly pulled his hand away. “Don’t apologize for things that were clearly not your fault. You didn’t do this to yourself,” her father said trying to keep his voice even. Jolie instantly looked away shaking her head. She opened her mouth to argue, but Scott could already see what was coming and shook his head. “No, you aren’t hiding this anymore and you certainly are not going to defend him. You hear me? I’m here now. This is ending. As soon as you’re well enough to leave the hospital, I’m going to collect your things and you’re coming home, understand?” he insisted.

All the young woman could do was nod her head even though she was torn up inside. The last two years of the three-year relationship she was in had been hell, but she loved the man that made her cry. She loved the man who hurt her. She knew what a healthy relationship looked like, but she couldn’t help herself. It was clear that her relationship was toxic, but she couldn’t stop loving the stupid man. She didn’t know if she could stay away. What happened to her?

Notes