On Tour

He’s looking better than ever, thought Karma as Matt pulled his shirt off at the beach. On the plane, she put on a ton of make up so Matt wouldn't see her bruises. She couldn't deal with all that now. She just wanted the incident to be out of her mind for a while.

“I really missed this,“ she remarked, then opened her can of Diet Coke with a whizzing sound.
“Me too, I can’t believe it’s been so long since we’ve been in California. Months,“ Matt chuckled, then threw her a sandwich wrapped in tinfoil. “I made these myself because I didn’t have time to buy some anymore, don’t judge,“ he remarked with a chuckle.

“EWWWW!“ Karma pretended to be grossed out when she discovered he’d made some simple ham, mayo and egg sandwiches. “I’m offended. How could you not know that I’m a vegan now?“

“You’re what?“ Matt stared at her in disbelief, his eyes appearing more green than golden when the sunlight fell into them.
“Joking,“ she said with a grin, then took a bite of the sandwich. “You brat,“ he laughed, then pretended to slap her face

“Asshole,“ Karma muttered under her breath, then suddenly jumped at Matt, knocking him over in the process. He smirked, letting he tickle him for a second, but suddenly, his facial expression turned blank.

“What the fuck it that noise?“ He asked, then shoved her off of him.
“Matt, I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,“ she said, looking at her fingers trembling in her lap. “Well, maybe about this,“ he spat and pointed to a beach hut. What is he talking about, she wondered.

But then she saw it. The person hiding behind the small building. With the camera. How the fuck do they always know where we are? I didn’t tell anything.

“Now I do think that’s too much of a coincidence,“ Matt said. He was calmly putting all the food he’d just spread onto the blanket back into his basket. “Matt, I swear I didn’t do anything!“
The artery on his neck swelled as he clenched his teeth.

“You meeting up with Trey just today and then this doesn’t seem odd to you? Do you think I’m so dumb, Karma?“ She just stared at the ocean.

“I didn’t do it, Matt,“ she said calmly, knowing exactly that he would not believe her this time. It didn’t look good. Karma understood why he would think so. But it wasn’t the truth.
“I said it once and I’ll say it again, I will not be a prop to keep you in the headlines for a couple of days.“ He motioned for her to get up, then folded the blanket they were sitting on. “I’m not trying to make you a prop,“ she replied honestly.

“Well the evidence says something else.“
“There IS no evidence. I agree that it looks like I want to use you like that, but I swear Matt, I didn’t tell anyone we’d be here. I didn’t even know about that until right before the plane departed,“ she tried to reason with him.

“Did you fire Trey?“ Oh no… If I tell him that now there’s no way he’s gonna believe me that I didn’t do all this…
“Yeah,“ she heard herself say. Immediately after that, the shocking realization of having lied to him hit her. Why the fuck did I say that?

I could have easily told the truth, why didn’t I? It felt like her mouth didn’t belong to her anymore. Like some devil inside her wanted to push them apart.

“You’re lying,“ he said coolly. “And you lied to me about Brian, too. He told me. I thought I could see past it but now I… I just don’t even know what to think anymore."
“I’m sorry. It’s just… All the evidence is piling up right now and… I don’t know. I knew you wouldn’t believe me if I told you I didn’t fire him. But I didn’t do all this, Matt. I just didn’t!“

She bit her lip to avoid having to burst into tears. They stung her eyes with the hotness of a volcano ready to erupt.
“And I didn’t want any drama between you and Brian. He told you? Good. Finally has the balls to admit it. I sure hope he told you I didn’t kiss him back or anything!“

“Still! You should have just told me. Bri and I will always be friends. That’s a stupid excuse.“
“You’re probably right,“ Karma sighed, but Matt was far from done with his accusations.
“Oh, and by lying to me about a simple thing such as firing Trey or not you’re gonna magically make me believe you that you didn’t do all this? You’re pathetic,“ he spat, and Karma sniffed.

I did lie to him, she thought, he has a reason to be upset. But… No. No buts anymore. Nothing justifies what I did. Yeah, I didn’t fire Trey. He said not to tell anyone he hit me. I could have said I decided otherwise. I could have. I need to stop trying to justify my faults.

“Something happened,“ she whispered, “and I can’t tell you what it is. But please. I need you.“
“You always say you do. Can’t tell me? Well, that’s your problem,“ he retorted, then pulled at each one of his fingers. His creaking joints and the waves in the background were the only noise surrounding them.

“I’m gonna tell you what happened. You changed. You became so wrapped in that thought of being a star, you forgot about the band, me and us.“ Maybe. Yeah, for a short time. But I wanted to turn it all around now. I wanted to, I just can’t because of all that with Trey. Matt wouldn't understand. But with what Trey has against me...

“I’m sorry. I love you.“ Karma wished she could say it all ended now, but it would be just another lie. She’d have to work her ass off for Trey, and she prayed to God he would still let her be a part of Avenged.

“I think it’s better to spend a couple of days apart. I need to do some thinking,“ Matt said calmly.
She felt one tear emerge her eye despite all those mechanisms to avoid crying. Hopefully my make-up won’t be ruined. He can’t see what Trey did to my face…

“And you’re gonna need to do some thinking as well. Me or the career. There is no in between.“
She sobbed. “You can’t make me choose.“ He couldn’t. Simply because she had no choice other than follow Trey.

He stared at her with a blank expression. “Then I’ll choose.“
Then, he turned around and walked away, leaving her standing there.
Karma sank down onto the warm sand and hugged her feet to her chest. What the fuck was that about, she wondered, but somehow she knew exactly what he meant.

It looked like she was being greedy, and like she was picking her career over him. And for a short time I did. Well, I didn’t even do that. I just thought that it would be easier to have it all.
It would have been so great to make it big, she thought with a frown. And I could have. With him by my side, supporting me.

But now he doesn't even believe me anymore. He's never been too fond of me going solo. I expected way too much when I asked him for support. He can't accept that I wanted more. And now I don't even want more anymore but I can't get out. Her head was spinning.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps in the sand. “Forgot you needed a ride,” Matt said, sounding much less hostile than before. Karma could only shake her head no. Any word she would have uttered would undoubtedly have resulted in tears.

“Come on, please don't make a scene,” he said softly, then held his hand out to her. “I'll take you home and we can talk about this later. When we're both somewhat clear in the head. Really. I don’t want this to end. I just…”

Without saying anything, she slowly walked the way back to the car behind him in a respectable distance.

They didn't speak during the ride back. They didn't speak when she left the car. They didn't speak the day after, or the day after that. Karma's heart was aching for him, aching like it never did before.

And somehow, in the quietness of being alone in her own house, she grew to accept that Matt and her seemed to be no more.

Notes

As promised yesterday: A longer update for you all! It's not looking great for them is it? Can they put it all behind or will they split? Let me know your opinions on it!

One chapter left - all or nothing.