On Tour

"Fire away,“ Karma said, wondering what it was that kept Matt from falling asleep at 3 am in the morning.
"I mean, with all that happened in the bathroom earlier… This may be blunt but we’ve been sleeping with each other for a while and… I was wondering when was the last time that you had your period.“ His voice sounded firm.

My period? She wondered, I just had that some weeks ago. I don't keep track of that. "Some weeks ago,“ she answered aloud. "Alright, just trying to make sure I didn’t knock you up,“ he said with a nervous laugh.

"Oh trust me,“ she answered, „I’ve been having an IUD for a while now and I had it replaced just a year ago, so I’d say knocking me up is pretty fucking impossible,“ she stifled confidently. Why is he being so paranoid about that?

"Good. But still, those things don’t always work 100%, you know that, right? I mean it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world but... I'm not ready for-“ Please stop talking. I’m not fucking pregnant Matt! "Yeah.“ She cut him off, too much of a coward to actually tell him to stop talking.

"And I mean, we’ve been… doing it a lot. Like… really a lot,“ he said, sounding concerned, "that increases the likeliness, I did some reading..."
"Still, there’s no way…“ Please just leave me alone with that.

"Please tell me when the last time was. I just need to know.“
"Look,“ she tried to reason with him, "this is bullshit. I’m not pregnant and that’s the last thing I’ll be saying to you about this.“

"Call it bullshit all the way you want,“ he said calmly, "I’ll be done talking about this subject only once you told me.“

Karma rolled her eyes, glad it was dark so he didn’t see how annoyed he was with her.
"See, I got them when we performed in Edinburgh, right? I turned you down that night and you were all pissy,“ she chuckled as she thought about that show.

She’d certainly wanted him later. And yet again he didn’t let her pleasure him. He said it would feel like using her.

"And after that?“ What after that? After that is now, I’ll have them again in a while you stupid fucker.

"I don’t know, it’s not been so long, right?“
"Karma, Edinburgh was seven weeks ago.“
Shit. Has it really been this long? Still. I have an IUD. I can’t be pregnant. So I’m not. End of discussion. It cannot be.

"Well, looks like it’s about time to have them again.“
"Karma,“ he urged, "Sex ed was the only thing I actually paid attention to in high school. It's four weeks, not seven. Everyone knows that. You might be pregnant with my child.“ Except for I’m not, dickhead.

"I’m not.“ She rolled her eyes again. Matt was really starting to get on her nerves with that subject. Karma just wanted to sleep. It was much needed with all the stress going on.
"How can you be so sure?“
"Because I just know.“ Give up, fucker. I’m not carrying your kid. Stop being paranoid.

"If you were, what would you do?“ What's up with all those hypothetical questions today?
"I’m not, Matt. So I really don’t have to think about that, do I?“ She scoffed, wanting to finally sleep, not talk about the what-ifs of life.

"Would you marry me then? This is not me asking, don't worry. I'd make that a lot more romantic. Just... If you were.“
"Please!" Karma heard herself say, surprised at how firm it sounded. "We’ve only been dating for months. I don’t think so. I don’t even think I’d keep it.“

"Are you insane?“ Matt’s voice sounded panicked. "You’d seriously get rid of my kid?“ Karma shrugged. "It’s still my body that would be ruined forever.“

He inhaled sharply. "That’s all you care about? Your stupid body. How you look, how you dress, how you present yourself. But this is about a kid…“
"Which is nonexistent, Matt!“

"I don’t think so.“ Shut the fuck up! I don’t wanna hear it.
"Then you don’t think so. I don’t care if you do.“
"You’re so selfish. All you think about is your stupid career. I liked the Karma who cared about me, and our band better.“

Karma saw red. He seriously had the nerve to talk to her like that. "How dare you insult me like that? I do care about our band. It's all temporary, Matt. You always knew this was a possibility. It was never an issue that I was trying to have a career of my own. You're just pissy because you thought I'd never get this far. But I do care about Avenged, you know that.“

"Alright, show me,“ he said, his undertone mocking and hurt at the same time. „Sure.“
"Come party with us tomorrow.“ I just fucking told him half an hour ago when I’m going back to the studio tomorrow. Does he not remember?

"You know I can’t, Matt,“ she said coolly.
"Anything more you want to say?“ He replied as if this was proving his point.

"I thought you’d support me no matter what. It’s not gonna be like this forever, Matt. I’ll make that one album and do that one tour. You’ll have a break after this one. You could visit me on tour as much as you like. But I’m pushing this. I said I wanted to be big one day, and I’ll live up to my word.“

"Well, good luck with that.“ He spat.
"So you’re saying you only love me if I’m staying small Karma from Avenged?“ She asked provocatively.

"No,“ he defended himself, then got loud again. "I’m saying I’m only supporting that one Karma who was not a mean career-focused bitch last time I checked. I don’t know who that is next to me in bed, though. All I know is it’s not her!“

"You ignorant asshole,“ she heard herself say, her voice sounding way more shriek than she wanted it to, "You just can’t handle your little girlfriend coming out bigger than you ever did.“

"Call me all you want, you know I’m right,“ he said coolly before turning around again, and Karma knew it was for good this time.

As he started snoring softly, Karma sighed. How could he say those things to her and then just sleep like a baby? He seriously dared call me a bitch, she thought, and her heart pounded wildly in her chest. She pulled out her phone, knowing sleep was not on the agenda for her anymore. Not tonight.

She messaged Trey first.

Larry says it’s bad for Avenged. We all need to be single. I get it. Sorry. -k

She then opened some more texts. Val wrote:
Damn, you guys are out. How you feeling? -V

Like shit. We just had a major fight. He called me a mean career-focused bitch. -k

Fucking what? -V

Exactly what I said… sigh. -k

I can try talk to him? -V

I think I can handle it myself, thanks for offering though. -k

After Val sent a heart, Karma decided not to reply anymore. She’d give her a call later.
But then a message from Trey arrived.

If you really want this you’ll have to do those things from me. Tell me where you are if you’re going out. I’ll send a photographer. Soon they’ll have no other choice than to make it official. If you don’t, I’ll have someone come after you guys anyway. It’s either a real break-up or a partly fake love story.

Ah fuck, she thought, switching the phone off quickly. This is all too much for me.

Some hours ago, everything was going so good. And now I’m close to a mental breakdown, close to what feels like the end of my relationship and close to the end of my beloved band. Oh, and I almost forgot: I haven’t had my period in over seven weeks and I have no idea what’s going on with me. Just fucking peachy.

Notes

Hope you're all having a great weekend guys. Suggestions, assumptions? :)