On Tour

Brian's question hung. The air seemed thick somehow, almost like you could cut it with a knife. The tension pressed against Karma's rib cage, making it unable to breathe properly.

"Well, are you gonna answer at some point, Kara?" Brian spat. She took a deep breath. Their "perfect plan" collapsed in itself like a house of cards within the first week of the tour.

"What are you talking about?" She heard herself ask against her better judgment. Yeah great Karma, that is such a lame thing to say. You get 0.5 of 10 points on this response. Wait, let's make it 1. 1 for effort, her inner voice scolded herself, and she knew exactly how right it was.

I'm so stupid, she thought. I can't deny it anymore, so why am I even trying?
"Cards on the table," Brian said curtly, and from the look on his face Karma could tell that she better not lie to him, "are you still hooking up?" It felt like the blood in her veins was freezing. He knows.

Karma nodded, unable to say anything else. Her throat was constricted, almost like someone had wrapped a cord around it and pulled. Shit, shit, shit, shit. Brian's expression was unreadable, he just stared at her blankly.

What the fuck is he thinking about? Can't he just... tell me at least that? Karma dug her nails into her palms while waiting, feeling like a guilty criminal in front of the jury. She hated that she was just so up in the air, totally clueless on what her best friend was thinking about her right now. The verdict was coming soon, and Karma was under no illusion of being acquitted, not by Brian. Not from the way he looked at her.

Is he angry? This could break up the entire band, she reminded herself, so he has a reason to be. Shit shit shit, why did we get caught? Why did we fucking start this in the first place? She swallowed dryly, knowing that she had to take the consequence of their actions. She deserved those consequences.

The room was silent. If someone dropped a thin needle, Karma was sure it would fill the entire room with noise. Finally, Brian opened his mouth. "I knew it," he whispered as he sat up and reached for his t-shirt, pulling it over his body.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Karma? He's an asshole, you know that," Brian stated calmly. He is. I know that. I just... I couldn't help myself, she thought, but on the outside, Karma remained quiet. "I mean, what if you fall in love? He'd break your fucking heart," he spat.

"I am," she replied, in that moment realizing just how true her words were. Brian inhaled sharply. "And that's why you let him use you like that? Fuck you when it's convenient and then fuck someone else when it's not?" His words were sharp like razor blades, and it hurt Karma to even think about it. "He didn't have a single groupie on this trip," she retorted, but her voice sounded off, weak and strange. "So far," Brian said. So far.

"Brian, he loves me, too," she said, knowing that he would never believe her. "Oh you might think so, honey, but you know how he is. How could you forget? You of all people? Hell, we used to laugh about how fucking dumb his chicks are."

"He said it, Brian. He's... different with me."
"Different my ass... Wait, he... he said it?" Disbelief was clearly visible in his eyes, but also... something else. Shock. Denial. Was it that? Or just plain surprise? "Yeah, he did."

Brian fished a pack of his beloved marlboros out of the drawer next to him and lit one, not caring that it was a non-smoking room. Karma grinned and stepped onto the bed. With two skilled hand movements, she disabled the smoke detector, like she'd done countless times before with Brian in her room. Some hotels fined you, some let it slip since they were rock stars, after all. Even if they fined them, Larry would scold them and pay. Like he always had and always would.

"Firstly, I'm glad that he's not using you," Brian stated, but he sounded pressed. Or am I interpreting too much into his behavior? Smoke came out whenever he talked, making it look like he was a dragon. "I mean if he said that, it's... Wow. It's gonna be amazing not to hear his groupies all the time." Brian let out a chuckle.

Then, Brian got to his point. "But... What if you break up? This could seriously harm Avenged," he claimed. Karma stared at the floor, knowing he was right. "Karma, we had one simple rule! Don't fuck the company! That was all we asked for. And it worked for so long!" he let out.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Matt said, poking his head through the door. "YOU!" Brian spat, "you seriously have the nerve to ask me that?" He let out a bitter laugh as he put out his cigarette on the wooden nightstand, leaving a dark stain. Yep, definitely getting a fine this time. Why does he have to do that in my room?

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Break up now so we don't have to later?" Matt asked, and he nodded. "No, that would be stupid. Gosh, why are we even in this position now? Just because you couldn't keep your dick in your pants," he scoffed into Matt's direction and then turned to face Karma, "and you are just as dumb and naive as Sarah, apparently!"

"Shut the fuck up, Gates! You're so full of shit," Matt let out through clenched teeth. Karma could see from the look on his face that it took him all strength not to punch Brian in the face, and that was what he would have deserved anyway.

"Oh, I am?" Brian hissed provocatively, "Well, fill me in? Who of us was stupid enough to break that one single rule that kept us going all those years? You or me?"

"Yeah Gates, who was the first to do that? Don't fucking think I forgot about Tulsa!" Matt spat, reminding Karma of an event she had long crossed out of her mind, simply because it should never have happened.


The band was a mere week into their "tour" (which consisted of a couple of gigs as a supporting act and didn't pay off at all) and Karma had only been a part of the band for some months. City of Evil was being produced, and would be out in weeks. Tulsa, Oklahoma was their next gig, they were a supporting act for a band that never became as big as everyone thought back then. I can't even remember how they were called, something with gun and fun, Karma thought as she looked back.

Matt had been driving all day, so he decided to take a nap on the van while the others did the sound check without him. Karma knew about his singing style well enough to adjust the mic to his likings, so they swarmed out and checked out the premises.

Jimmy brought his drumsticks along and basically hit everything he found. After the soundcheck, Brian and Jimmy decided to get drunk. I was so young, Karma thought. It was during that period that Karma was a little too confident. She knew she could sing well, and she thought nothing was ever going to change that, not even getting real drunk before a show. But it did. She grinned to herself, noticing that the old Karma from that era would probably laugh at all the precautions she now had before performing.

"And then the fucking... dragon came out of the woods or something," Jimmy slurred, and Karma dutifully raised her glass. Jimmy, Brian and her were playing a drinking game where they would invent a story, each of them telling one sentence, and they had to drink at certain words like "dragon", "fight", "sword", "fucking", and "horse". And yes, those two last words did appear in that combination, too. Shame on your drunk ass, Brian!

"Aaannnd I'm out of it," Jimmy screamed, waving his gawky arms like a bird ready to take off, "I'm gonna go look for Matt or something, I surrender!" He let out a maniacal laugh before he did some ninja like karate moves and then, he was out of the backstage room, leaving only Brian and Karma behind.

"He's so fucking insane," Brian grinned. He was so drunk that his mouth was slightly lopsided, something Karma knew was a sign of it getting out of hands. "You said fucking," she remarked, then raised her glass. "If I drink one drop more I'm gonna pass out," she stated.

Suddenly, he was very close. "I said fucking. If you're not drinking, then maybe we should do just that. Sobering up, you know..." Yeah, weirdest fucking pick up line ever known to God. But that was exactly what happened.

His face was inches away from her, and no-one was there to prevent what was not supposed to happen from happening. His lips crashed against hers, and he immediately shoved his tongue inside her mouth.

Karma moaned, not entirely sure if it was because of Brian's abilities or because of the alcohol. He scooped her up and placed her onto his lap, and through his tight jeans, Karma felt how much he was enjoying their little session. "We can't," she whispered as she finally managed to pull away. "We will," he stated.

The next thing Karma remembered was sitting in the grass in front of the van, hearing Brian and Matt argue. "What the fuck were you thinking?" she heard the taller man scoff, "she's passed out and you're trying to fuck her in our van! Are you out of your fucking mind?"
"What's it to you, you fucker? Been eye-fucking her since day one," Brian laughed his drunk laugh, "you're just jealous 'cause I'm more successful than you."

"Fuck you two," Karma said and got into the van, not wanting to hear them talk about her like she was a piece of meat anymore. Brian threw up minutes later, and Matt was by his side as if nothing happened.

The show was canceled and Brian's dad paid the compensation for their canceled show. He was furious with his son and made him work in his uncle's garage until he could pay him back. The very next day, Karma moved out of their house and got a cheap place to stay for her own.


Brian didn't say anything, he just motioned toward her phone. "I think we should tell the others. They deserve to know." She agreed. With trembling fingers, she texted all of them to come inside her room. There was no turning back now. Karma wasn't ready for this, and to her, it felt like someone was taking away the ground below her feet.

Minutes later, they were all there. Karma's stomach felt uneasy, almost like she was going to throw up. They sat down on the couch and the bed, and Brian, still lying there in his pajamas, motioned toward Matt and her. She looked at Matt, and he started talking.Karma was so glad she didn't have to say anything. She wasn't even sure she could. Her throat still felt constricted.

"Guys, there's something you should know. You're not gonna be happy about it, but we can't change it. Karma and I," Matt threw her a reassuring look, "we're... something. And we're really happy together. Now start the shitstorm for all I care."

He protectively placed his arm around her. No-one said anything for a long time, which was rare among the Avenged crew. Karma looked around, looking into all of the faces. She tried to read their minds, but didn't succeed. Matt's fingers grazed the skin of her arm. It felt comforting.

Finally, Jimmy spoke. "You guys are better than ever. I don't think... This is a bad thing. I mean... It's pretty reckless. But it works. And I'm happy if you guys are. Just, don't break her heart, Matt. Or I'll break your fucking dick. And don't think I'm not gonna do it. Ask Johnny!" Said Johnny let out a bitter grin. "Fuck man, it still hurts to even think about it! That's why I'm never ever betting with you again. EVER!"

Karma felt like a heavy weight was being lifted from her. She blew Jimmy a kiss, and he yanked his long gawky arms in the air, pretending to fend off the kiss. It made them all chuckle, and somehow, the air wasn't as thick anymore. Karma relaxed.

"Me too," Brian then said, not sounding too convinced, "but you need to be careful about how this ends. Don't cheat, don't even think about it. If it ends, it has to be in a friendly way, you can't be bitter about it. And we're not taking sides."

They all nodded in agreement. Karma felt that pang again at the mentioning of cheating. She knew Matt hadn't been the most faithful man to his girlfriends, and to a degree she was indeed scared he would get bored of her.

"Brian," Matt said, obviously still pissed, "how did you end up in her room anyway?" Brian laughed, and he sounded relaxed and like himself again, "that's kind of a funny story, Zacky here," he motioned towards the guitarist and then showed him his middle finger, "snored like a fucking lumbermill! FUCK MAN HOW DO YOU DO THAT?" And then I thought I'd try and sleep somewhere else, and Karma's room was just across the hall. Her door was open and bam, that's how I ended up here."

"How did you know I was with Matt?"
"Instinct, Karma. Well, I knew you weren't with Johnny Christ for starters. But I kind of suspected something after I saw you guys at my dad's."

Karma swallowed. "It's alright guys," Johnny said, "let's not make a big deal out of it. Stick to the rules this time and we should be okay. Can't change it now anyway, can we?"
Some minutes later, they all left, including Brian. Matt hugged her close. "I think that was right," he said. "I know, and now we can officially cuddle!"

"Sounds good, doesn't it?"
"It does."

They drifted away with ease, tightly holding on to one another. Karma wanted to ask him about that strange behavior on Brian's side, but suddenly, she was so so tired. They had all the time in the world, right?

Karma was woken up by the sound of Matt's phone "ringing". His ringtone was an audio of Jimmy recording Critical Acclaim, screaming "Fuck you! Fuck youuuuu! Fuck youuuu!"

Mumbling a bunch of undisclosed insults at Jimmy for making this his ringtone, Matt freed himself from Karma's embrace to pick up the phone.
"Hello?"

His face fell. Karma had an uncertain feeling in her guts, almost sensing something terrible was going to happen.
"Mr King, sure... Yeah I can talk right now."

Wait, Howard called him? Personally? He must be in deep shit.

Notes

Hey guys,
this turned out way longer than I thought it would haha.

thanks so much for all the nice comments you've been leaving me, it always makes me happy to see my story is acknowledged and worshipped.

Tell me what you think about all this now. Is Brian going to be another issue? Why do you think it is that Howard called? I really hope you liked the update. :)

Have a good start into the week loves. <3
seventhtrumpet