The Day That I Met You

Chapter 12

Olivia

I slept better than I thought I would; I had thought that my confusion would leave me tossing and turning, but it really just made me exhausted. When I went to bed last night I felt that I was pretty sure of my decision, but now, ads I lay in bed, I became anxious about it. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and I didn’t want to make the wrong choice.

I was laying in bed for about ten minutes after waking up, not wanting to get out of bed and face the day. I rolled over to my side when I heard the phone ringing and I grabbed it off of my nightstand to see that it was a call from my big brother.

“Matt?” I answered, my voice groggy.

“Morning, sunshine,” he said. I could tell he was laughing. I looked over at my clock and it was almost eleven. I usually didn’t sleep that late, so I shot up from my spot in the bed, cursing at myself. “I’m at your door but you didn’t hear me knocking.”

“Hang on a minute,” I said and hung up. I got out of bed and quickly got dressed and threw my hair into a messy bun. Good enough.

When I finally answered the door my brother laughed again and asked, “Rough night, sis?”

I sighed and stepped aside to let him in. I answered, “I guess you could say that. I’m assuming you heard?”

“Yeah they both filled me in. Surprisingly they weren’t killing each other when I walked in. But they were talking about what happened.”

“Well that’s good I guess,” I said. I had been worried about that myself. They can both be hot headed at times and I knew that I had definitely hurt their egos. Brian’s especially. I think Zack had been slightly more understanding about everything, but Brian, well... he was cocky.

Matt sat on my couch then and I sat on the other side, tucking my legs in and facing him. I appreciated him coming over to talk to me, but I could tell the whole thing was making him upset. “Matt, I don’t want you to be mad at me for this. None of this was my intention.”

“I get that, but the drama is too much. I feel like we’re in high school right now,” he said, taking off his signature aviators. “Do you know what you want to do?”

“I think so,” I said, looking down at my knees. “I just don’t want to hurt anyone. Or regret my choice.”

Matt didn’t say anything for a minute or so and was looking at the window, probably thinking about what he wanted to say. With me he was sometimes more careful with his words because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings, but with others he usually just told them outright. “Just tell me what you think,” I said, not wanting him to hide anything from me.

“I just want you to be with someone who makes you happy. There’s more to that than sex, too, you know,” he said.

I laughed. “Is that your way of saying you don’t want me to choose Brian?”

“No, that’s not it. I just mean you need to think about the entire situation, not just the physical parts. I just feel weird talking to you about it,” he said, rolling his eyes at me. “I know you’re a planner and you’ve probably thought a lot about what you want.”

“I have. I know what I want for my future. You know I have goals for myself in school and in my life, we’ve talked about it before. And I needed to think about who I see myself with, who would fit into that future. I’m not the type of girl to date guys just to date, you know. I want a long term, committed relationship,” I started, watching my brother nod. “But sometimes I know I over think things and I regret not going with my gut feelings.”

“And what do your gut feelings say?”

“I know I have feelings for them both. Zack totally took me by surprise, but I can’t deny our chemistry. He’s one of my best friends. He knows everything about me, can make me laugh, deeply cares about me, and well, is a great kisser,” I said, blushing. Matt rolled his eyes, but I continued, “And Brian surprised me in a different way. I knew that, if I really wanted to, I could get him to sleep with me. You know how he is. But it was more than that. I know you don’t want to know the details, but it was amazing. And then he shows up the next day with roses, trying to get me back. And even though I don’t really like roses, the gesture was incredibly sweet, which shows that he is more serious about me then I may have thought at first.”

I sighed, shifting myself so I wasn’t facing him anymore. He didn’t say anything, so I continued, “They will each give me something different. Zack will love me for me and the fact that we’re already friends shows that he and I will have lots of fun and good times together. And though we haven’t experienced all of the physical stuff yet, that can come later. Brian will give the physical right away, and I’m sure it will always be great long term. But I worry about the other things. We will have to learn more about each other, but at the same time, I’m sure we will grow at friends too.”

“Liv, that’s what your brain is telling you. That’s the facts, all of the craziness. What does your gut say?”

I sighed again. He was right. All of my life I had to over analyze every little situation I was in. Even something as simple as what to cook for dinner took a lot of thought. It was something that I knew in many ways was a great trait, but it was also one of my biggest weaknesses. It was hard for me to go with my gut on things, especially something like this.

When I didn’t answer right away, my brother said, “Close your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just do it! Close your eyes,” he said, so I did. “Picture yourself in a stopped elevator. Who would you rather be stuck with?”

I laughed, opening my eyes, “Matt, that’s stupid.”

“I’m serious, this will help. Don’t think, just feel. I’ll ask a new question since you ruined that one,” he said with a grin. I closed my eyes again and he asked, “If you were stranded on a desert island, who would you rather be with?”

And I knew.

----

I knew that I needed to see him to tell him how I felt, to let him know that I couldn’t be with him. I needed to tell him myself, let him know that I cared about him, but not in the way he wanted. I didn’t want him to hear from anyone else because I knew that that would hurt him more than if I told him. Or at least that’s how I would feel if this happened to me.

I texted him to meet me at the pier near my apartment. I decided to walk over, to clear my head and calm myself before talking to him. I didn’t want to hurt him, to make him upset. I dreaded the conversation, but it had to be done.

When I got to the pier he was already there, staring off into the ocean. He didn’t see me approaching, and I couldn't help but smile a little. He looked so cool, so relaxed as he soaked up the sun. I felt another pang in my stomach, but I knew that this was the right thing to do.

At first I thought what my brother made me do was stupid and didn’t make any sense, but it helped me. I didn’t think, I just let myself picture it. And when I saw the man I chose I wasn’t even surprised. Deep down I knew it was the right decision, I was just so afraid of making the choice and afraid of hurting anyone. But here I was, about to reject the other man. My brain wouldn’t slow down now; I couldn’t just go with gut feelings this time.

“Hey,” I said sheepishly, trying to get his attention.

“Oh, hey,” he said, looking at me. “You look beautiful.”

I blushed, and looked away from him. I had changed out of my outfit earlier and made myself more presentable, but his compliment made me feel worse about all of this. Even though that was not his intention, I couldn’t help but feel sad.

I sat next to him then and he shifted to look at me. He was truly stunning. For a moment I doubted myself, but I closed my eyes, picturing the deserted island again, knowing what I needed to do.

Opening my eyes, I told him, “First I wanted to say how much I appreciate what you did for me yesterday.”

He sighed then, and I think it hit him. He was smart and caught on quickly. It probably became obvious when I didn’t attack him with kisses right away.

He looked at me dead in the eyes and said, “Just tell me, Liv. Don’t bullshit with me.”

I looked away and said, “I just don’t think we would be right together.”

I saw him shake his head from the corner of my eyes, so I looked towards him again. Before I could say anything else, he said. “I had a feeling that this was what you’d say. After I saw you and him together yesterday I knew I had no chance.”

I didn’t know what to say, so dumbly I told him, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Like everyone’s been say, ‘bad timing.’ We all had it. I fucked up and I regret it. If I hadn’t you’d probably be mine right now.”

He might be right, which brought tears to my eyes. I told myself I wouldn’t do this, that I would stay strong. So, I said, “Maybe. But honestly, would we have lasted?”

He sighed at that, “Who knows. I wanted to try, if that means anything now. This is why I don’t normally do this.”

He got up then and I followed suit, feeling awkward and horrible. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want all of this to happen this way.”

He nodded, obviously too upset to say much else. He was trying to keep his temper, I could tell; he was biting down on his bottom lip. We stood there for a moment, not looking at each other, not knowing what to do. Eventually he said, “Just give me some time to be pissed, OK?”

I chuckled a little, not able to help myself. “I can do that. You can be pissed at me forever. It would be reasonable.”

He shook his head, “No, you’re my friend. I’ll get over it in time. Just… just don’t be all couple-y and shit in front of me for awhile.”

I nodded, not really wanting to talk about that with him. It would just make him feel worse.

He laughed then, surprising me. “You’ve surprised me a lot over the last few days, Liv.”

“I’ve surprised myself, honestly.”

“Well, keep surprising yourself, girlie. Life is fun that way,” he told me.

With that, he walked away without a wave or a glance back my way. I stood there for a moment, thinking about what he said, knowing that he was right. I was excited, honestly, to see the man I chose, to experience more surprises. I just hoped he felt the same way.

Notes

I normally write two POVs per chapter, but it felt right to end it here. Who was she just talking to? I left a few hints for you guys, but stay tuned and you'll find out for sure soon!

Thanks to Kimmie, Metalchick36, Avengedlover, and Hollie for commenting on the last chapter. I appreciate it!