When We Were Young

Brian wasn’t sure why Nancy wanted to meet up in a quiet place, but didn’t care. He was glad she texted him back and was willing to meet him again. At first he suggested Sandra’s diner but she declined, saying she didn’t want Sandra to interrupt them and he couldn’t blame her; that woman could be willing to sit down with them if she saw them walk into her diner together again. So he picked another place he was sure she’d be okay with.

I need to tell you something.

Brian couldn’t stop thinking about Nancy’s text. Whatever he needed to tell her worried him. She’s gonna leave again, he thought. That was the first thought that hit him as soon as he read Nancy’s text. He perfectly knew that when a woman needed to speak to a man didn’t mean anything good, but she had always been different, so this couldn’t be the case, right?

Who the fuck you’re kidding?, he thought. He didn’t know Nancy anymore. Once he did, she was like an open book to him but now, after over three years, he couldn’t deny things were different, even if just for a little bit. Sure, when he saw her and they spent time talking, he felt like it’d been just a day since the last time he saw her, but when he got home and laid in bed next to Michelle, he had to admit to himself that things were really different. The woman sleeping next to him wasn’t Nancy anymore and she was basically a stranger to him now.

When Michelle found out that Nancy was back in town, it didn’t take her that much to realize that she was the person who he had seen just a couple of days before. He thought of denying at first, then he simply admitted it. She appreciated his honesty since no plates were thrown around or at him, but he could tell she wasn’t happy about his ex-girlfriend being back in Huntington Beach. Michelle had always been the jealous type, which was something Brian hated with his whole being, but that negative trait was part of her and there was no way he could get the girl without her jealousy, even if this drove him crazy most of times.

He was smoking the second cigarette since he had arrived to Jimmy’s place. He hadn’t been there since Christmas and being there now, a month after his death, felt weird yet he felt like he was home, like Jimmy’s was still there with them. Brian let the smoke enter his lungs, then come out of his nose and mouth. He felt good considering the situation and the setting. He chuckled by himself when he leaned back and remembered that time when he and Jimmy spilled the ashtray on the couch, ashes all over the precious sofa Michelle helped Jimmy pick. Brian knew Jimmy did it on purpose, he fucking hated that couch. He also couldn’t stand Michelle, but that was another story and he was pretty sure it had to do with Nancy and the history she had with Brian.

The knock on the door distracted Brian from his thoughts and got up, opening the white door. In front of him, Nancy was holding two cups of coffee. She looked radiant, like always. He was about to slap himself when she spoke.

“Can I go in or you’re just gonna stand there?”

“No, yeah. Of course. Come in.”

Nancy walked inside and looked around, a strange feeling inside her chest. It was the best and the worst place Brian could pick. She wanted to ask him how Brian got inside, but she was sure Jimmy gave him the keys and Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan hadn’t apartment yet. She only saw pictures of that place, yet she felt like she perfectly knew it.

“I brought coffee.” She said, handing him one of the two cups. She thought that beer or alcohol in general would’ve been a better choice for the night, but she decided to go with coffee in case they wanted to discuss the situation.

Brian motioned her to sit down on the couch and he sat down next to her. He took a sip of his coffee and looked around, unsure of what to say or do. After all, she was the one who asked him to meet up. He looked at her with the corner of his eye and smiled slightly. She looked nervous. No, she was nervous. She was playing with her rings and his heart almost sunk when she noticed one of the rings around her finger. He gave her to her. It was fake jewelry, nothing special, but special enough for her to keep it. After all these years.

“How was your day?” She finally asked and he nodded, relaxing a little bit.

“It was good. We played a little, but it’s hard without him.” He admitted, looking down at his cup. “Matt wants to get back to work on the new album but like I said, I’m not sure I want to.” Nancy nodded slightly and took a sip of her coffee.

“What do you think Jimmy would want?”

“He wanted to finish the album so I guess that’s what he would want.”

“Yeah, then you guys should do it. For him. He didn’t get the chance to finish it for real so you should do it. For him.”

Brian nodded at her words; he knew she was right, but it was still so damn hard and the fact that right now they were sitting on Jimmy’s couch wasn’t exactly helping. He wondered what his best friend would think of them sitting there. He probably would’ve laughed and sat down between them. Typical.

Since Brian didn’t really reply to her, Nancy decided that it was time to find the courage that was nowhere to be found in the past three years, and finally tell him the truth.

“So, there’s a reason why I asked you to meet up.” She started, “I just didn’t think I was going to tell you there here.” She admitted.

“Yeah, sorry. I really couldn’t think of anywhere else. My house–” He said and licked his lips, “Well, my house is a mess and I know you’ve seen the worst of me, but I didn’t wanna scare you that much.”

She chuckled nervously and Brian shrugged, ignoring the fact that the real reason why he didn’t tell her to come over was because Michelle was home.

“Anyway, there’s an actual reason why I decided to move to Portland.”

Brian frowned slightly and nodded. “Yeah, it’s because they offered you a job there, right?”

“Actually no, that’s not the reason. When I moved there I had barely finished my studies and I definitely didn’t have a job.”

The man placed his cup on the small coffee table and leaned against the couch, keeping his eyes on her. He was confused. Why would she lie about something like that?

“I don’t understand.”

Nancy took a deep breath and rubbed her face with her hands and Brian immediately took her hands, smiling softly at him.

“Hey, it’s me. Calm down and tell me what’s up.”

Nancy looked down at his hands on hers and attempted a smile, but she obviously failed. The nervousness was taking control of her body. Noticing how uncomfortable she was, Brian moved his hands away and lit up a cigarette. He offered her one, but she refused. He said nothing and kept his eyes on her, waiting for her to continue. He didn’t want her to push her do or say something that was making her uncomfortable.

“A month or something after you guys left for tour I–” Nancy was afraid she would die of a heart attack or something; her heart had never beaten so fast in her whole life. Maybe only when she gave birth. “I found out that I was pregnant and–”

Pregnant.

Brian stared at her unable to say anything. She was pregnant while he was on tour. White smoke came out of his nostrils as he was trying to process what she was saying. She was kidding. She had to.

“What?”

Nancy wasn’t looking at him and the thing was pissing him off.

“I wasn’t sure I was gonna keep it and Jimmy–”

“Jimmy?” Brian’s eyes widened as she mentioned the drummer’s name. He knew?

“Yeah. Jimmy told me you needed to know, but I couldn’t tell you.”

“Nancy.” He said; the tone of his serious was so scared that for a moment Nancy thought she was speaking with a stranger. He didn’t say anything else, her name was enough to make her continue her speech.

“I’m so sorry, Brian.” She whispered, shaking her head. Tears filled her eyes and Brian didn’t know what to feel, or what to think.

“Wait. You’re telling me you got an abortion?”

Nancy frowned and for the first time, she looked at him.

“What? No. I didn’t.” She answered, “I couldn’t do it. She’s–she’s absolutely amazing, you know.”

Brian couldn’t look away from Nancy. There were so many emotions and feeling running through his body, mind and veins that he was afraid he was going to die right there.

“I–I have a kid?”

“I’m so sorry…”

He got up, bringing the cigarette to his thin lips. He took a long drag and shook his head. This couldn’t be happening. This couldn’t be true.

“Brian…”

“Save it, Nancy.” He said, glaring at her. “I have a kid and you never told me! What the fuck is wrong with you?” He asked.

He was disappointed to say the least and the look he was giving her was worse than a stab in the chest.

“I never found the courage.”

“The courage? The courage?! Jesus, Nancy! You put the fucking courage away when shit like this happens.”

“I know; I should’ve told you sooner. I know.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, huh? Were you afraid I would leave you to raise a child, our child alone? Or you simply thought I wasn’t man enough to be a father? Who the fuck do you think I am?”

“No, I’ve never thought that. Never.” She said, wiping away her tears.

“And fuck, Jimmy really knew about this?” He asked and her simple nod made him lose his mind even more. “What the fuck?” He wanted to scream, cry and then scream again.

“He wanted to tell you. He wanted me to tell you. Don’t be mad at him, I made him promise not to tell you anything.”

“I just can’t fucking believe it.”

Nancy crossed her arms over her chest and Brian shook his head, throwing the now finished cigarette in the ashtray. He had no words. He never thought the most important people in his life would betray him like that.

“Brian…”

“Stop saying my fucking name.” He said, “We’re done here.”

Without even glancing at her, he walked out of the apartment. He had no idea where to go or what to do, he just wanted to stop hearing her stupid excuses and he definitely didn’t want to see her face. For the first time, her face, the one he used to love so much, made him sick to his stomach and he wasn’t sure this would change anytime soon. Or ever.

Notes

I wanted to wait for a while before posting this chapter but I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to post it and now I really want to hear your reactions :D She told him, can you believe it?

I hope you enjoy this chapter <3 Just so you know, the next chapter is part 2 of this one.

I noticed new votes and subscriptions (thank you!!!) and comments from old readers and even new ones, so I'd like to take a moment and thank Hollie, Avengedlover6661, Kimmie, EmilieAlyosha and DaphneG for their lovely comments. They made my day <3 I'm really glad you like my story! There's still so much to tell about Nancy and Brian (and maybe even about Nancy, Brian and Jimmy) so I hope you'll enjoy the next chapters as much as I do while writing them <3