When We Were Young

Nancy wondered whether to call Linda or not; her mother and grandmother said she had to call Brian first, her father preferred to say nothing, but judging from his glances, she could tell he agreed with them. How could he not? She put them through a lot in the past years. She thought that moving away from Huntington Beach would be better and maybe it was, for her, certainly not for them, who were forced to keep a secret from people they considered close friends.

Jimmy was staring at her friend through the screen.

That day they decided to Skype, or better, Jimmy forced Nancy to Skype together so he could understand why the hell she moved to fucking Portland. The news of her pregnancy hit him like a knife, but instead of blood spilling out of the wound, it was like flowers came out of it. He was happy for her, incredibly happy, but he was also upset.

“I don’t understand why you don’t wanna tell him.”

“I told you already.” Nancy said. “We broke up; it was a mutual thing. I just can’t go back and tell him ‘Brian, I’m pregnant. Let’s get back together’.”

“I’m not saying you should get back together.” Jimmy shrugged, “Actually, that’s exactly what I’m saying. You guys love each other and now have a baby on the way. Stop being a bitch and come back and tell him.”

“I can’t and I won’t. Do you have an idea of what it’s like to have a kid? Brian is young and plays in a band, he can’t be a father. Not right now.”

“Don’t you think this is a decision he should get himself?”

“Not now.”

That day, Nancy finally agreed to leave the house with her grandmother and that little person that happened to be her daughter. Nancy smiled down at her as the two women got out of the car. There was no way she could deny that the child was Brian’s daughter, they had the same beautiful brown eyes and the witty attitude.

They were walking down main street and Nancy kept looking around, afraid to meet one of her old friends or worse, Brian, but thankfully there were only strangers around her.

“Calm down.” Gladys said, without looking away from the street.

“I’m calm.”

The two of them lived together in Portland and during these past three years, the woman started noticing all the little things that would show her granddaughter’s true feelings, like the way she played with her rings when she was nervous, or how she couldn’t stay still if JJ was sick.

JJ was her daughter’s name. Technically, that was a nickname, but she was JJ for everybody now.

Jimmy couldn’t stay still that night; not that he normally could, obviously. But that night things were different. Nancy had called him a few hours earlier to let him know that she was in labor and he couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he wished he was there with her. He wished Brian was there with her. Instead, his best friend was drinking and encouraging Valary’s sister stupid behavior. She’d never hidden her interest in Brian, but now things were starting to get quite disgusting.

The drummer looked away and took a long sip of his beer, suddenly feeling some eyes on him. Glancing up, he met Johnny and Zacky staring at him.

“What?”

“Nothing, you seem off.”

“I’m fine.” Jimmy said, glancing down at his phone.

Still nothing from Nancy.

Dammit, he thought. How long did it take her to deliver that baby?

Suddenly, his phone started ringing and he got up and ran outside so quickly that Johnny spilled his drink on himself and Zacky cursed, noticing some of Johnny’s drink on his pants.

“Nancy, babe.” He said, “How are you? Is everything okay?”

“Hi, Jimmy.” Nancy said, “We’re both fine, yeah. Apparently she didn’t wanna come out.”

“She? It’s a girl?!” He exclaimed so loudly that two guys who were standing next to him glared at him. Fuck off, he muttered as he walked away. “I bet she looks like you.”

“Actually, she looks like Brian. She even got his feet.”

Jimmy laughed out loud. “Jesus Christ, I hope they will change when she grows up.” He commented, then smiled even widely when he heard some little noises. “What’s her name?”

“Joan.” Nancy answered and he could tell she was smiling, “Joan James.”

Jimmy opened his mouth, unable to say anything for a couple of seconds, then he started laughing and crying at the same time. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He asked, surprised.

“No, why would I? She got the best uncle in the world, so of course I had to name her after you.”

“I’m an uncle…” Jimmy whispered before yelling, “I’m a fucking uncle!” The same guys who glared at him a few minutes before, glared at him again but he didn’t care. “Fuck! This is the best thing ever! You know I love you, right? I love that little princess, too. I promise I’ll come visit you as soon as possible.”

Nancy always felt bad for not telling Brian about the baby. At first she held back because she wasn’t sure what she was going to do with it, then it was simply because she didn’t have the guts to tell him; then Jimmy told her that Brian started of kind of seeing Michelle, so she really didn’t have the heart to tell him about JJ risking to fuck up his brand new relationship.

“I already told you this many times, dear. You have to tell him.”

“I know.”

Nancy already knew what she meant and at this point, she found herself agreeing with her. She wasn’t sure, but she felt like Jimmy’s death made her realize that keeping secrets from people wasn’t good, not when anybody could die at any time. Jimmy kept the secret from Brian even though he absolutely hated keeping things from his friends, especially him, but he did anyway for Nancy and because of this, she felt the need to tell Brian the truth.

“We’re going to pick a new toy; you could get us a coffee?” Gladys suggested and Nancy laughed.

“Grandma, she doesn’t need a new toy. She got plenty.”

“I know, I know. But what can I do? She’s looking at me with those eyes.”

Nancy glanced down and saw that her daughter was smiling widely.

“Please, mommy?”

“You’re a little devil.” She joked and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Just don’t get her anything expensive. I’ll wait for you outside.”

Nancy headed towards the nearest cafeteria and got in line, her arms crossed over her chest. She was looking around, trying to pick something to eat when he noticed Zacky, Johnny, Lacey and Linda sitting at a table. She swallowed hard and hoped they wouldn’t notice her, but the glance Lacey gave her was enough to make her understand that they saw her. She walked up to them and tried to stay as calm as possible.

“Oh my God!” Lacey squealed and got up, wrapping her arms around her.

“Linda!” Zacky exclaimed, with a big smile on his face.

“Cee-Cee, you’re back!” Johnny said and Nancy couldn’t help but chuckle. She almost forgot about that nickname. He was the one who came up with it and it kind of stuck.

“Hey! I didn’t get your phone call.” Linda said and Nancy nodded a little.

“I know, I’m sorry. I tried to find your phone number on my old phone but it wouldn’t turn on and yeah. Do you mind giving it to me again?”

“Oh no, you’re gonna give us your phone number!” Lacey said, handing her, her own cellphone. Nancy was a little hesitant, but she grabbed the phone anyway and saved her number.

“Here.”

“So, Nancy… It’s been a while.” Zacky said, “Linda told us you were at the funeral.”

Nancy nodded and swallowed hard. “I was. Kind of.”

“You back for good?” Johnny asked and Nancy shook her head.

“I don’t know yet. I have my life in Portland, you know.” She answered and sighed softly, “I really should go now, sorry guys.”

“That’s fine. We’ll plan something if you’re up for it. You know, to make up for these lost years.”

“Sure, I’d like that.”

She lied. She wouldn’t like that at all. Not until she figured out what to do with Brian.

She quickly waved at them before getting in line again and order two cups of coffee and a muffin for JJ.

“He was upset he didn’t see you.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Nancy turned around and saw Linda standing next to her.

“Brian.” She explained. “I told him I saw you and he was upset you weren’t at the funeral.”

“But I was.”

“I know, but I guess he wanted to see you there. With us. With him.”

Nancy sighed softly and looked down at her hands before glancing up again.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t do it. Tell him…” Nancy bit her bottom lip. “Don’t tell him anything.”

Linda nodded and watched Nancy leave. She sat down back at the table with her friends and immediately Johnny asked what they were talking about, Lacey, already kind of figuring out that, simply slapped lightly her boyfriend’s hand.

“Anyway, she looks good, doesn’t she?” Johnny said, deciding to change the subject, but only a little bit. “I wonder how her life is in Portland.”

Outside of the cafeteria, Nancy took a deep breath and quickly crossed the street, handing a cup of coffee to her grandmother.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I kinda have.” She said before starting to explain what happened at the cafeteria.

Gladys shook her head and pushed the stroller. “I don’t think I have to tell you again that thing.”

Nancy nodded a little and bit her lip; she was slowly understanding that Gladys was right. She was always right.

Later that night, after putting JJ to bed, Nancy took her rented car and drove to the cemetery. She hadn’t seen Jimmy’s grave yet, but going there during the day was out of question since apparently many fans visited it daily. At night, however, the whole place was desert. She was pretty sure she wasn’t supposed to stay there, but she didn’t care. It’s not like she was trying to exhume a body or something.

It didn’t take her long to find his grave and when she did, her heart started pounding in her chest. She placed one single flower on the grass then sat down, trying to hold back her tears.

“Hey, Jimmy.” She whispered, gently touching the plate with his name.

Jimmy jumped into life and never touched bottom.

They couldn’t pick a better sentence to describe him. She quickly wiped away her tears and took a deep breath.

“I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier, but I’m pretty sure you got many visits.” She said, looking at the many flowers there were on the grave. “I mean, look at these. I’m sure you never got so many flowers, huh?” She chuckled and shook her head. She lit up a cigarette and leaned back against a tree, her eyes fixed on the ground.

“JJ asked me about you the other day.” She said at some point. “She saw some pictures around at my parents’ and asked me when she got to see you again. I didn’t know what to tell her. What should I tell her?”

Nancy sighed heavily before taking a long drag of her cigarette. Marlboro. Brian got her into these and she couldn’t stop. The only time she stopped smoking was when she was pregnant, then she started again, much to her grandmother’s annoyance, but she couldn’t help it. It helped her.

“I miss you, Jim.”

Suddenly, she heard a noise behind her and Nancy turned around. It was dark, she could barely see anything, but she could recognize that profile anywhere, at any time. She got up and her heart started pounding ever faster in her chest.

“Nancy.”

Notes

Hi everybody! This is chapter two but technically, it's part one of a longer chapter so I'm pretty sure it won't take me long to post the next chapters.

We finally found out about Nancy's little secret – little JJ :D Splitting the chapter into three shorter (kind of, because they're not exactly that short haha) ones ended up creating a little cliffhanger for the ending of this chapter, what do you think is happening next? :)

I'll update the characters list with JJ facts tomorrow or something, so it won't be a spoiler for anybody who's not reading the chapter today.

Thank you to the people who subscribed and voted this story and a big, huge thank you and cookies to Avengedlover, Hollie and seventhtrumpet for leaving comments <3