Anger

“Why aren’t you here?”
“Hello to you too, babe” Izzie giggled at the annoyed voice of her husband. She just came home from grocery shopping when she received his face time call. She was juggling with her phone, trying to open the door while she talked to Matt. She quickly came to the conclusion that wasn’t going to work though “Hold up, let me open the door”

She threw her phone in her bag and for a few minutes Matt only saw black, while he heard noises of a door opening, keys being thrown on a table and the door of the refrigerator opening and closing. Then he saw Izzie’s smiling face come into view again.

“Hi”
“Hey baby. I miss you” Izzie could see the truth of those words in the face of the man she loved so dearly “How are you feeling? Is my son behaving?”
“You son, huh?” Izzie cocked a brow at Matt.
“Yes, son, I came to the conclusion that I can’t be a girl’s father. That would mean hell on earth. I would lock her in a tower for her to never come out. It has to be a boy, Iz” Izzie giggled at Matt’s serious face and couldn’t help but rub it in a little.
“You know we can’t do anything about that, right? It’s not like you can go back in and add a little-“ she wiggled her pinky at him, causing Matt to laugh loudly. “Oh my god, I love you so much” he sighed.

“I love you too. Tell me about your day?” She settled in her favorite chair and listened to Matt doing a full report of his day. It was just a normal tour day, but she loved to listen to him talk. His voice was still doing all kinds of stuff to her insides and she wanted to believe that their child would be able to listen to it through her. Maybe she could put some headphones on her belly as soon as their kid finally had ears and let the baby listen to Matt singing. Maybe she could make him record some songs more suiting for kids, so she could let the baby listen when Matt wasn’t there.

“- and that leaves me again at: why aren’t you here?” Izzie missed a part of what Matt was saying and fell right in the middle of that sentence.
“You knocked me up, remember? I can’t stop puking. I need to get through my first trimester first, I should feel better after that. I will come over then.”
“I just thought that if Mia would come, you would come along” Matt pouted.

It took Izzie a few seconds before she registered what Matt was saying.
“Say what? Mia is there?”
“Yeah, she arrived yesterday” Matt sounded as confused as Izzie felt. Matt was wondering why he was telling Izzie something new. These girls knew everything about each other, often even sooner than the husbands. The confused look on Izzie’s face told him that this time was different.

Izzie was thinking about the information she just got. She had send Mia a message a few days ago and she received word back that Mia was still taking care of her dad who was apparently really sick. Izzie had been worried, seeing every time she called Mia she got voicemail or a message that she wasn’t able to answer her call. Hearing that she was there was weird to say the least.

Izzie’s mind was working overtime and a thought was pulling at the back of her head. She didn’t want to believe her best friend would do something like that, but the signs weren’t looking good.
“I will call you back in 5 minutes” She told Matt.
“Iz, what’s going on?” Matt had seen the pain pull over her face and he was hoping he saw wrong. She needed to reassure him that everything was okay. But Izzie didn’t have time to explain right now.
“I will call you back”
“Iz-“ He started, but silence was all that he heard. She had already hung up.

With that she ended the call with Matt and immediately dialed her best friend’s number. The phone kept ringing, but nobody was picking up, then it went to voicemail. Only a few seconds later she received a message

Sorry, can’t talk right now, have a doc’s appointment with my dad.

Matt was staring at his phone after Izzie hung up on him. What the fuck was going on? He laid there in his bunk, waiting for her to return his call when he heard Mia’s phone ringing. He frowned as he heard the ringtone continue, no one picking up. Just as Matt wanted to get up and check it out, his phone rang again.

“What the hell is going on?!”
“Is Mia there?”
“Yes, I just told you”
“Hand her your phone, please”
“What the hell Izzie, what is going on?”
“Just do it, damnit!” Izzie snapped. Matt was perplex at the tone of his wife’s voice. She was rarely angry and if she was, you didn’t want to be on the receiving end. He sure learned that lesson years ago.

Matt got up from his bunk and walked into the common room of the bus. Johnny was nowhere to be seen, but Brian, Zack and Mia were watching some kind of movie.
“Mia, Izzie wants to talk to you” Matt held out the phone to Mia who had a look of complete terror on her face. All the men looked at her weirdly. What was happening?
“I can’t-“ Mia started, but she received confused looks all around. There was no way she was getting out of this one without having to explain everything and she really wasn’t feeling like it.

With a heavy heart she took the phone from Matt while she tried to get up from the seat to get some privacy.
“Hey honey” she answered the phone, trying to act as normal as possible. When she heard Izzie’s reply she knew things would be as far from normal as it could be.
“Hey babe” Mia heard the sarcasm in Izzie’s voice “Do they have some kind of special doctor in Italy?”
“No. Listen-“
“No. You listen” Izzie cut right through her lame attempt to start and explain “Is your dad even sick?”
“…No…” Mia’s voice got more quiet with every word she spoke, while Izzie’s only got louder with every word that passed, her anger building up.

“You lied to me! You didn’t just tell a white lie, you told a big fat lie that had me worried about your family for weeks. Family that is as close to me as my own. How could you do that, Mia? What could possibly be a good enough reason to just lie to my face like that? Oh wait, you didn’t even dare do it to my face, you just put me off with messages. Let me leave you voicemails which you never replied to. What the fuck is going on, Mia?!”

“A lot is going on. A lot you don’t even know the start of. So don’t go be all mad at me if you don’t even know” Mia snapped back. Her limit to what she could take from Izzie had been drastically lowered since Izzie got pregnant. Mia knew that wasn’t completely Izzie’s fault, or maybe not even at all, but there was not stopping it now. She was going down this road and she had to live with the consequences. It was like watching herself from a distance as she was about to destroy the one person she cared about most next to her husband.

“Then tell me! You have been avoiding me for weeks. Why didn’t you tell me if something is going on with you?”

It would have been so easy to just tell Izzie. To make her understand, because Mia knew she would. But she didn’t want to. She didn’t want to tell her how her whole world was falling apart while Izzie’s just seemed to get more complete. She didn’t want to tell her that she didn’t know how to fix this. She didn’t want to tell her that her relationship with Zack had been in stormy weather because of all of it. She just didn’t want to talk to anyone. She didn’t want to talk to Izzie.

“It doesn’t matter. You have your opinion ready anyway”
For a moment silence was on the other end of the line and then Izzie’s soft and defeated voice.
“I don’t understand. What did I do?” Mia could hear her best friend was on the point of breaking. Her hormones were probably a big part in it and that made Mia hate everything even more.
“Yeah well. The world doesn’t only revolve around you. Bye Izzie”

With that Mia ended the call and quickly made her way back to the others to hand the phone to Matt. The other three men stood there, looking at her in confusion. She didn’t expect them to understand. She didn’t even tell Zack about how she had been avoiding Izzie. No one would understand.

“I’m gonna lay down for a bit” she hung her head low, avoiding the curious gazes of the men and made her way to the backroom. Before she well laid down the door opened again, revealing a very worried looking Zack.
“What was that about?” He asked in a soft voice. His kind eyes made Mia’s heart squeeze together. She would break everything, this thing with Izzie was just a start. The last days with Zack had been amazing, but only because they avoided the subject. She knew things would be different when they would need to have a real conversation again. So she shrugged, not even looking at Zack.

Zack seemed to understand that Mia wasn’t in the mood to talk, so he took off his shoes and laid opposite of her, his arms wrapped around her body, holding her close. Mia buried her face to his chest and Zack knew everything was falling apart when he felt his t-shirt getting wet. Mia was crying.

So far for trying to be happy again.

They just laid there. Zack was trying to calm his wife down, but he had no idea how, seeing he had no clue what the cause of all this trouble was. Just when he was about to open his mouth, the door flew open.

“You gonna fucking tell me right now why Izzie is crying to the point of hyperventilation! She is pregnant! This isn’t good for the baby, this isn’t good for her! Mia! Tell. Me. Now!”

Matt was up to his full height, towering over Mia. His anger only fueled by the worry about his wife crying so hard that she couldn’t even tell him what was wrong. Worry about what could be wrong with her if she was this upset. Worry that he was on the other side of the world while his wife clearly needed him. Mia sat up and looked at Matt with wide eyes.

“You talked to her last! She was fine before that! What the fuck is going on!”

Zack jumped up from the bed, standing in front of Mia, protecting her from the big man that only seemed bigger in the small room “Calm down Matt!”
“What’s going on?” Brian rushed into the room and looked at the situation before him. He quickly came to the conclusion this had to be defused quickly, so Brian put a hand on Matt’s shoulder and guided him outside. Zack and Mia were staring at each other. Both hoping someone would just magically start to talk. But silence was all that was left.
A worried look crossed the Rhythm’s green eyes, but Mia was, maybe even purposely, blind to it.

Mia was sitting on the bed, her tears all dried up in the meantime.
“You need to tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m just here because I miss you?” Mia tried.
“Yeah, that was cute the past 24 hours, but I need to know, Mia. Everyone seems upset, no one knows why. And you seem to be the key to figuring this out. So you need to tell me Mia, it can’t be that bad. It can’t be anything we can’t handle together”

He put his hand on her cheek and caressed it with his thumb. He stared in Mia’s watery eyes and saw everything he had been so scared of seeing.

“I really don’t want to talk about it Zack”
“Well though luck. You need to. I’m your husband for god’s sake! You can talk to me about everything. You need to talk to me about everything” The frustration was dripping from his voice. There they were. Back at the point where they had started. Back to not talking.
Mia seemed a little a taken back by the raising of Zack’s voice and it was like it pushed her to start talking.

“I’m avoiding Izzie, okay? Ever since she told everyone about her pregnancy” she rushed out. The confused look on Zack’s face was only a confirmation of what she thought would happen. He didn’t understand.
“I just can’t look at her being happily pregnant! I don’t want to go shopping for clothes or furniture! I don’t want to have anything to do with it! Not a thing.”

Zack was always proud of how well he knew his wife, but this he didn’t get. Not even a bit. He thought she would be happy for her friend. He thought that it would brighten her days now they were a little bit darker. He thought it would help. But looking at the woman in front of him told him he couldn’t have been any more wrong.

A knock on the door broke their silence, followed by Brian’s head “Can I come in?”
Zack shrugged. He didn’t know if Brian could come in. He didn’t know anything anymore.

Brian sat next to Mia and pulled her to his side “Does all of what just happened have anything to do with the reason you are here?”
Mia stayed silent and Zack just repeated his previous action.

It was time to break this weird standstill. “Matt is trying to calm Izzie down through the phone, but it’s not helping that he can’t just go over there. I don’t know what is going on between you two” He looked at Mia “but you have been like sisters. You need to explain. Izzie will understand, everyone will understand. Everyone will support you.”
“I don’t need to do anything”

“Good, I tried the careful way, but that isn’t my style anyway. So let me give it to you straight” He turned to Mia fully now, purposely avoiding Zack’s eyes. Brian knew Zack wasn’t going to like what he was about to say, but it was about time someone stood up for Zack.

“What is happening to you is fucking unfair. I wish it would have been different for you guys. I wish you the big family you always wanted. It’s fully understandable that you feel bad about it, that your life has frozen since then. I get it. I really do. What isn’t fair is how you treated Zack in all this.”

Mia’s eyes shot up to Brian’s
“Brian-“ Zack let out, warning his best friend
“No. Someone has to say it. You have been struggling with all of this by yourself. Respecting your wife’s wishes to not tell anyone, but this is too big. You weren’t home, you were on the road with us and it was eating you alive. Mostly because your wife wouldn’t even listen to you either.”

“Brian!”
“This is none of your business Brian” Mia snapped at him
“Oh, but that is where you are wrong. The minute you started to break everything around you, including your husband who always puts you on a pedestal and a best friend that is just happy to be pregnant, you made it my business. You should have known better. We are not just friends, we are brothers and sisters and it’s about time you let us be there for you”

With that Brian got up and looked at the couple before him “I love you both and the situation you are in couldn’t suck anymore than it already is. But I suggest you get yourself together and regroup with the people over there” he pointed at the door to the other room “and back home. Let us support you. Let us be there for you. Let us at least understand.” He bend over and softly kissed Mia’s cheek before he made his way through the door.

The silence that followed was unpleasant.
“Is that really how you feel?” Zack shrugged before he quietly spoke.
“I think he is right about the telling. I need them, Mia. This has been killing me.”

“Let’s tell them then”

Notes

Just because it's my fictional husband's birthday today I have another chapter for all you lovely people!
I wanted to keep it until I had another one was written, but ah well.... ;-)

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