Always

“Brian?”

The bus was dark, quiet as it rolled on down the highway, the low consistent hum of tires on pavement blanketing the softer sounds of sleep from the bus’s occupants. A soft voice called out through the almost blackness, breaking the relative peace and, earning no response, it tried again, still apprehensive, but a little louder.

“Brian.”

He knew, somewhere in his still-asleep state, that someone was calling him. And he knew that voice. That voice was important. But he was asleep damnit, and very few people could mess with his sleep and live to talk about it. He didn’t take kindly to being dragged from his slumber.

But the voice called again, low and insistent and like it or not, he was drifting towards semi-awake ness. He groaned, shifting around in his bunk, trying to find a more comfortable spot to settle into and slip back into sleep before he lost it completely. Of course the voice chose that moment to call, once more, and his eyes snapped open.

“What.” It was a growl. A very unhappy growl, low and rough with interrupted sleep. Threatening. The bus had better be fucking burning.

He knew Brian hated to be woken up and normally he wouldn’t bother the guitarist. But he couldn’t shake the images that had shattered his own sleep and still haunted him. Plus the other man was already awake, so it was a bit late to back out now. He called out again, trying to stay quiet to keep from waking the others as well. They didn’t all need to be up.

“Can… can I sleep with you?”

Yes, he knew that voice. And finally consciously recognizing it, his anger cooled. He was still annoyed at being dragged from his sleep, but he could never stay mad for long at that particular person. With a long suffering sigh, Brian pressed himself back until he was almost touching the wall, leaving room between himself and the curtain.

“Yeah, fine.”

Jimmy’s face appeared and Brian couldn’t help but notice how pale he looked in the darkness. Paler than usual. Immediately concerned, he reached a hand out, pulling the lanky drummer into a hug as soon as he’d crawled into the cramped space.

“Jimmy. What’s wrong?”

Brian always knew when something was wrong. And he always seemed to know how to make it right. Jimmy sighed deeply and melted into the embrace, tucking his face against Brian’s neck and wrapping his arms around the guitarist’s body, long fingers splayed over his back and the warm, bare skin there.

“Bad dream…” His words were mumbled, barely audible.

But Brian heard him. Bad dream? It must have been one hell of a bad dream to force him out of bed and into his own. At fucking ass o’clock in the morning. He tightened his arms around the drummer, turning his head to let his nose skim over the taller man’s temple affectionately.

“What about?”

Jimmy was quiet for a long time. It terrified him to think about it, to picture it in his head. But to put it into words? It was going to sound stupid and then Brian was going to get mad at him for waking him up and he was going to kick him out and he’d be all alone, just like in his dream-
He hadn’t realized he’d started to tremble until he felt Brian shake him gently, having been waiting patiently for his response, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight off the tears that were stinging and threatening to fall.

“You- you were gone. You were all gone. Everyone. Matt, Zack, Johnny… and I couldn’t find any of you. I looked and looked but you were gone and I was alone and I was calling for you and you weren’t there…”

Brian sighed softy, tugging at Jimmy until he’d practically pulled the drummer onto his own form, rubbing over his naked back soothingly. He could feel the tense muscles, the faint trembling and the warm drops of wetness tracking down smooth cheeks that Jimmy was trying to hide. He knew Jimmy had issues with abandonment. He’d lead a rough life. Every now and then, when his anxieties crept up on him, the band would spend the day simply staying close to their drummer, lounging, laying against him, playing games; whatever it took to reassure him that they were there and weren’t going anywhere.

Jimmy looked up, damp blue eyes searching out chocolate brown and Brian’s heart lurched painfully in his chest at the despair he saw there, at the sadness he could hear in that softly lisping voice.

“Brian, I couldn’t find you.”

He slipped both hands up to cradle Jimmy’s face, leaning forward a little to press a light kiss to his lips, fingertips caressing while his thumbs gently brushed the gleaming tears away.

“I’m here. I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, Jimmy. And I’m going to stay here. I promise.”

He shivered faintly, but he was finally starting to relax, Brian’s warmth and reassurance were slowly chasing away the worst of his nightmare. Jimmy shifted forward to press another kiss to Brian’s lips, soft and searching.

“Always?”

“Always, baby, I promise. I’ll be here for you ‘til the end. All of us will.”

He knew that. In the back of his mind he knew it and he knew that Brian knew he knew it, but he was still infinitely grateful that the guitarist would tell him so. He sighed deeply, laying his head down against Brian’s shoulder and settled in against him, shifting a little to get comfortable. He stopped a moment later though, feeling something hard digging into his hip.

“What the f-“

He was quickly interrupted by Brian, his snappish words suddenly a bit too annoyed to be entirely believable.

“Would you fuckin’ hold still and go to sleep?”

Despite the lingering anxiety his dream had inspired, Jimmy snickered quietly against Brian’s skin, a sly smirk breaking over his lips. He shifted again, letting his long legs settle on either side of the guitarist’s hips, straddling him and, consequently, aligning their lower halves perfectly. Jimmy rocked down ever so faintly, snickering again at the half protest, half groan he got.

“Jimmy-“

“What’s this, Bri? Just can’t help it? Being pressed against my totally hot self and all.”

Brian mumbled something and Jimmy lifted his head to look down at him, hands moving to brace themselves on either side of the guitarist’s head. His height allowed him to press their bodies flush together from hip to sternum. Jimmy rolled his hips lazily, just once, grinding down against Brian.

“What was that?”

Brian’s hands snapped down to grab Jimmy’s hips, gripping tight in an attempt to keep him still. This was totally not what he’d had in mind when Jimmy crawled into his bunk. But Jimmy was right. He really couldn’t help it, being pressed so close to that warm, lean body. He knew Jimmy wouldn’t leave him alone until he got his answer. Heaving a sigh, he mumbled again, audibly this time.

“Yeah, somethin’ like that… You know what you do to me, Jimmy.”

“What do I do to you, Brian?”

His tone was playful but his eyes were serious and instantly Brian realized why he was asking. He might put up a tough front, latch onto the distraction as if everything was alright now. But it wasn’t. Jimmy was a good actor. And his dream was still bothering him. He was still looking for reassurance.

Brian offered the drummer his famous half smirk, the grip on his hips loosening slightly while tugging him down, assuring that there was no space left between them. If this was what Jimmy needed, then fine. He wasn’t going to complain.

“You get me hot, Jimmy. You know I can’t resist you or your body, your fine, tight ass.” He slipped his hands up, letting them run over that ass, taking note of the approving sound the drummer made. He lifted his head until his lips were millimeters from Jimmy’s, letting his voice drop down into that low purr, the half growl that he’d perfected; dark and dangerous and hungry. “You make me horny, Jim. You make me fuckin’ hard. All you have to do is brush up against me, shoot me a look and I’m sprung. How can I just lay here with you pressed against me and not have my cock digging into you?”

Jimmy chuckled softly, unable to stop the shiver that wracked his form. He fucking loved it when Brian talked to him that way, and he knew that the guitarist knew that. After all, he’d been the first to hear it. He flashed a heart stopping smile, hips moving again under Brian’s hands, not stopping this time.

“Mm, you say the sweetest things, Bri.” He batted his eyes, drawing a laugh from the guitarist.
Brian slipped a hand down and into Jimmy’s pajama pants, skimming low over his belly to wrap strong fingers around his cock, finding the drummer just as hard as he was. He gave a slow stroke delighting in the choked groan, the way Jimmy shifted to rock against his hand.

“Yeah, you like that baby? You wanna fuck my hand?”

Sitting up as far as the low ceiling of the bunk would allow, Jimmy let out a quiet laugh, tipping his head back, eyes closed as he thrust rhythmically into Brian’s hand, gasping each time those talented fingers tightened around him.

“There are other things I’d rather fuck.”

Brian watched him through dark, heavy lidded eyes, just able to make out the shifting of muscle in the darkness as Jimmy moved over him, the dark lines of ink on pale skin. He watched as Jimmy bowed his head, dark, messy hair falling to cover his eyes, little noises beginning to escape him with each movement. He took that as his cue to remove his hand, ignoring the immediate protest he got from the drummer. He rolled, gripping Jimmy’s hips, reversing their positions in one smooth motion.

Jimmy just blinked up at the guitarist, smirking while draping his long arms around his neck.

“And what’re you gonna do now, huh?”

“Mm, well I really wanted to see you ride me. See that long body of yours all stretched out while you bounced on my cock. I know you could ride me like a pro, couldn’t you?” He just snickered at the smirk he got. “But there’s not room in here. So pinning you to the bunk and fucking you ‘til you can’t remember your own name sounds like the next best option.” Brian considered that for a moment, head cocked to one side. “Although, maybe we ought to just curl up and go to sleep.”

“Excuse me?” Jimmy’s eyes were narrowed and he rocked his hips up into Brian’s, illustrating just how for the first option he was. “How the fuck can you possibly suggest we go to sleep after you got me this fuckin’ hard?”

Brian smirked, lifting a brow. “Well, I really don’t think our friends are going to appreciate you waking them up with your screaming. God knows you can’t be quiet to save your life.”

The drummer huffed, arms tightening around Brian’s neck, drawing him down to speak against his lips. “Fuck them. They can listen and jerk themselves off for all I care.” Jimmy’s smirk widened, his blue eyes darkening a shade. “Besides. I know you Brian. I know how much you love to fuck me. It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Have you forgotten how hot I am? How tight I can be? The way I can squeeze you ‘til you whimper... The way you fit like I was made for you? I think you need a reminder.” He curled a leg up and around the guitarist’s hip, dragging him down while he surged up, grinding harshly, letting out a choked groan.

With a hiss, Brian rocked his hips down, giving into the urge to find friction and revel in it. Jimmy was the only person he knew who could, for all intents and purposes, top from the bottom. He knew just what buttons to push to make his partner lose control and give him what he wanted. It was way to fucking early in the morning for Brian to even try to hold out against him.

Instead, he wriggled quickly from his sleep pants, dragging Jimmy’s down as well, shoving them to the side somewhere. As long as they were out of the way, he didn’t care where they ended up. He resettled himself over the drummer, stretching up to reach for the clear tube he knew was conveniently situated near his pillow. Finding it, he sat back a bit, popping the top to slick his fingers. His gaze never left Jimmy’s.

“Expecting something like this?” Jimmy smirked.

Brian just smirked back, a finger circling before slipping in and Jimmy arched. “With you horny fuckers around? Why do you think there are tubes all over the bus?”

Jimmy just laughed, the sound morphing into a groan when Brian added a second finger, his hips shifting faintly, pressing back against them. He loved having those strong fingers inside of him. The things they could do with just a little twitch… They found his prostate and Jimmy was bowing up off the bed, biting his lips hard in an attempt to muffle the hoarse cry that wanted to escape. He wasn’t entirely successful.

“Fuck. Brian. That’s good enough.”

Some part of him wanted to protest. Point out that he probably hadn’t stretched Jimmy enough for it not to hurt. But a larger part just wanted to be buried in the tight heat that was gripping his fingers. He gave in with a needy little sound, a sound he’d only admit to making with Jimmy, and slid his fingers free. He spared a moment to slick himself, careful not to linger. There was no way he’d hold out long if he let himself get lost in touching.

Tossing the tube back up towards his pillow, Brian settled comfortably between Jimmy’s thighs, grinning as long, slender but powerful legs wrapped around him, immediately tugging him close. He laughed softly, struggling to position himself with the sudden lack of space.

“Fucker. Give me a sec here. If you want me in you, you’re gonna have to wait five seconds.”

Jimmy just grumbled softly, relaxing his grip in order to give Brian the room he needed. True to his word, Brian was sliding into him only seconds later and Jimmy tossed his head back, relaxing as his body stretched around Brian’s cock. There was the faint pain that always came with being stretched so wide, but it was a dull burning ache and he’d grown to enjoy it almost as much as the pleasure that he knew would follow. He groaned lowly, shifting just a little, wriggling faintly to get the guitarist deeper, to feel him touch places that no one else seemed to be able to reach.

“Shit, Jimmy, hold still!” Brian grabbed the drummer’s hips, trying to still those little movements that were threatening to send him over the edge way before he wanted. He bit into his lower lip harshly, but he couldn’t silence the whimper that forced its way out when Jimmy began rotating his hips faintly, grinding back against him and Brian didn’t think he’d ever been so fucking deep inside of anyone.

“Come on Brian. I’m not made of fucking glass. I can take whatever you give me. And I want it hard and fast and now.”

Brian felt him tighten around his cock, that already tight heat somehow gripping him tighter, and he could feel the muscles rippling teasingly. He didn’t know how the fuck he did it. And he had no brain cells left to think about it. He pulled back, almost to the point of slipping out, then slammed back in, setting a quick, helpless rhythm. No, he wasn’t going to last long at all. But he was taking Jimmy with him.

He had just enough presence of mind to angle his hips slightly, searching for the spot that would have Jimmy-

The drummer cried out sharply, pressing his hips back against Brian’s thrusts, fingers clawing at the sheets, looking for some kind of purchase.

“Fuck! Oh shit, fucking hell, JesusFUCK! Yeah, right there Brian, God. Harder damnit!”

“Fuck, you’re pushy tonight…” There was no malice behind the words though and Brian was careful to keep that angle, drowning in the breathy cries Jimmy let out every time that spot was struck, shivering as the hot channel around him trembled with the taller man’s pleasure. He reached out, catching Jimmy’s wrists to pin them up over his head, burying his face against his neck, muffling his own groans.

Jimmy laughed breathlessly, the sound punctured by gasps and cries, giving it an almost hysterical sounding edge. “What’s wrong, Brian? No more sweet words for me?”

Brian chuckled as well as he was able, speaking against that pale skin. “I think my brain melted and slid out my ear and you want me to talk dirty to you?”

Arching at a particularly harsh thrust, Jimmy gasped sharply, whining as he moved against Brian, setting a quick counterpoint to the guitarist’s movements. “Ah... What’s wrong, can’t handle doing b-both?”

Lifting his head slowly, he looked down through dark eyes, hissing. He never slowed his movements, but he gripped Jimmy’s wrists harder. Manipulative little bastard. He’d called him out on purpose. Made it into a challenge. Because he knew that Brian wouldn’t be able to ignore it. He turned the rising groan into a growl, eyes meeting sly blue.

“You really shouldn’t be able to think right now.” He punctuated his words with a sharp thrust, growling low in his throat, teeth grit, Jimmy’s cry invoking a twisted smirk. “You wanna hear it, Jimmy? You wanna hear how tight you are? How fuckin’ hot? How much I love shoving my dick into you? 'Cause I do Jimmy, I fuckin’ love it.” He leaned in close, breaking his eyes away from the drummer’s to speak against his ear. His words were starting to waver. He’d already been close and the brutal pace they’d kept up was taking its toll.

Jimmy had lapsed into incoherent moans and Brian grinned wildly, shifting his hands to hold the drummer’s wrists with just one, the other sliding down the arched form under him, wasting no time in wrapping around the cock that was digging into his belly. He jerked Jimmy hard and fast, matching his thrusts, trying desperately to keep some kind of rhythm.

“You’re so fuckin’ hot, Jimmy. And you’re hard as a fucking rock, leaking all over me. Does it ache baby?” Another twist of thin lips, even as he hovered on the edge. “Come for me Jimmy. Come for me so I can hear you scream.” He tightened his fingers slightly on the next upstroke, moving his lips to Jimmy’s neck. He flicked his tongue out once to taste the flushed, salty skin, then bit down harshly on the pale column, just under a tattooed handcuff.

His eyes snapped open as soon as he felt the teeth on his neck and he shuddered. “B-Bri... Fuck, Brian-“ As soon as they sunk in he was lost, arching up sharply, pressing into Brian’s hand, the teeth on him, all the while trying to keep his hips moving. His body couldn’t handle the overload of sensations and he came with a guttural scream, head thrashing from side to side as his body seemed to lock up into the arc it had forced itself into, every muscle seeming frozen, save for his hips which jerked with each pulse of his orgasm.

Brian was a split second behind, thrusting deep as the impossible tightness around him somehow got tighter, almost verging on painful. He shuddered, groaning into Jimmy’s skin, hips rocking faintly through the tingling heat that washed through him, racing down his spine and seeming to bounce from his toes right to the tip of his hair. Some outside part of his mind registered hearing a thump from the hallway, but he was more concerned with clinging to Jimmy.

Feeling wet heat spilling into him only served to prolong the lingering mini-explosions of bliss and he came down slowly, falling boneless back to the bed. His whole body ached from the rough treatment and the force of his orgasm, but it was satisfying. Fulfilling. Jimmy stretched languidly under Brian, wrapping his arms around the guitarist as soon as they were freed, threading through his messy hair, one trailing down over his back.

Fuck but Jimmy could make him come hard. Brian let out a shuddering sigh, relaxing down against the drummer, releasing his neck to lick gently over the mark he’d left, trying to sooth the abused skin. He smirked to himself, eyeing the already purpling area. That was gonna leave a hell of a bruise. The thought of Jimmy looking in the mirror for the next couple of weeks and seeing that mark, remembering how he got it, just made Brian grin wider. He lifted his head, pressing a soft kiss to the taller man’s lips.

“Mm, fuck you’re good.”

“Yeah, I know.” Jimmy just laughed, tightening his arms around the broader form, holding close, showing no signs of moving. “But you’re not so bad yourself.”

Brian rolled his eyes, shifting a little, sliding out of the drummer with a little noise, echoed by a groan of displeasure from Jimmy. He settled again afterwards. “I’m sticky but I don’t wanna move.”

“Me either. I’m staying here tonight and-“ Jimmy blinked once, eyes having shifted to the side, stopping at the curtain. “What the fuck. Johnny?”

Brown eyes followed blue, blinking as well at the pale face peeking through the curtain. “Johnny, you little fuckin’ perv.”

Johnny’s face immediately flushed dark red and he held his hands up, stammering. “N-no! Jesus Christ! I heard Jimmy scream and I though something was fuckin’ wrong. I fell outta my fuckin’ bunk! Fuck do you guys have to be so fuckin’ loud?” He finished with a scowl, trying to will away the blush.

Brian and Jimmy looked at each other, breaking into laughter as soon as their eyes met. “So that’s what the thump was…”

Johnny huffed, disappearing from view, stomping back to his bunk. “Fuck you guys. I’m wearing headphones like Matt and Zacky from now on.”

Jimmy chuckled, reaching down to drag one of Brian’s blankets up, shaking his head a little. “Little shit. He’s a good kid though.”

“Yeah, just don’t tell him so.” Brian grinned, snuggling down into Jimmy. His expression settled into something almost peaceful, dark eyes flicking up to glance at the drummer, finding his face relaxed, his eyes closed. “Jimmy?”

He didn’t move. “Hmm?”

“You know I love you, right?”

“Yeah. I know. I love you too, Brian.”

Brian settled his head back down, ear resting over Jimmy’s heart, listening to the strong, even beats. “Just... remember, alright?”

Jimmy smiled softly, voice soft when he finally spoke, holding tight to his best friend. “Always.”

Notes