So, if you'd noticed, I've deleted some chapters that were previously written (all the hospital drama basically) My original plan for this story was to take Jimmy out of the story, but when I was writing this chapter for the first time I didn't want to remove him. Thus, I had to come up with an immediate alternative which was to make Jimmy fall sick. After writing a few chapters, I reread the whole thing right from the very beginning and I did realize that a lot of things do not connect. Also, thanks to a certain someone who also felt the same way and even commented (u know who u are!) So, I decided to stick to my original plan since it makes things way less complicated.


MARLEY

I was sat curled up on the sofa with Zacky, watching a movie. We were having a quiet day in. The only time that I’d moved off the couch was to walk the dogs. Johnny was out with Lacey and I hadn’t yet seen Brian, so all in all, I was quite happy.

“Zaaaacky.” I sang and he looked at me suspiciously.

"Marley....?"

“You know that you want to get me some ice cream.” Zacky sighed and got to his feet, heading out to the kitchen. He returned shortly with two bowls of Ben and Jerry’s Baked Alaska. I was about halfway through my bowl when the phone rang. Sighing, I set my bowl on the table and got to my feet.

“Hello?”

“Marls?” I could hear the emotion in Val’s voice even through that one word. I didn’t get chance to reply, before she broke the news. The phone slipped from my hand, clattering to the floor. I followed, sinking slowly to my knees. It couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t. The whole world seemed to grind to a halt around me. Zacky springing out of his seat seemed to be in slow motion to me. I felt numb. I just couldn’t process what Val had told me. My ears began to ring. All I could hear through the dull whine was a buzzing sound, that I realised was Val yelling through the phone. Then Brian was in front of me, his hands on my shoulders. His voice penetrated through the ringing.

“Denise? Denise, what’s wrong?” I just shook my head, unable to form the words in my head, let alone speak them. I stared at the floor in shock. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zacky sink down onto the sofa, the phone pressed to his ear. A few seconds later he hung up, burying his face in his hands. Brian looked between us, getting to his feet.

“What’s going on? What’s happened?” Zacky looked up, his eyes bright with tears.

“Brian,” Brian paled, JZacky almost never used his real name.

“What is it?”

“It’s Jimmy…” His voice trailed off.

“What’s wrong?” I looked up, meeting his usually warm chocolate gaze that was now full of worry.

“He’s dead, Brian.”

***

I lost track of the time. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I could barely even think. I sat on the couch, Brian and Zacky on either side of me, lost in my own world of pain. I couldn’t believe that he was gone. It’s like part of my world, my life, a little part of my soul had vanished. Like a light had been turned off. My world seemed so empty, so dull. I couldn’t imagine life without his smile, his laugh. Minutes blurred into hours, hours into days. We cried together, but most of the time, we just sat in silence. Lost in our own memories of Jimmy. They all blurred together, playing out behind my eyes, in my brain, in an unstoppable loop.



Flashbacks.

2007.

I adjusted various things under Jimmy’s drum kit, presenting a lovely view of my ass to Vengeance-Cam. Zacky and Jimmy were recording a video update about the new album to go on the website, Jimmy was sat on his drum stool, talking to the camera.

“You see, drum tech’s, like all tech’s value their ears, that why it is consider extremely bad protocol to do this,” He hit the kick pedal on the bass drum, which happened to be right next to my head. I rocketed upright, whacking my head on the drum above my head.
“FUCK!”

“when they are under your drum kit.” Concluded Jimmy, I could hear the fucking grin in his voice.

“I am going to fucking kill you Sullivan.” He pressed the pedal again.

2005.

I stared at Jimmy in disbelief as the guys moved the trampoline around into my back yard.

“Tell me that you are joking.” He just grinned and followed the delivery guys. Five minutes later I was sat in my back yard swing with Val, watching as all five members of Avenged Sevenfold attempted to put up the giant trampoline, as we both sipped Margaritas. I looked over at Val.

“I swear to God that Jimmy is the only adult guy I know that would buy a supersize trampoline.” She snorted and raised her glass in agreement.

“Amen to that Marls. Amen to that.”

2001.

“Why am I being dragged to this party?” I asked Matt as I checked my make-up in the side-mirror of his car.

“My friend Zack needs a plus one.” I snorted and straightened up.

“Basically you're playing the wingman.” He shrugged and locked the car.

“That’s one way to put it.” He began to walk down the block. “You’re going to love Jimmy and his party anyway. He’s as fucking mad as you.” I snorted again.

“I doubt that.”

“Just you wait, baby sis, just you wait.” He walked up to a house, wandering straight in. It was full of people drinking out of red plastic cups. A tall, dark haired guy jumped with a crazy grin jumped in front of us.

“MATTHEW!!” He yelled, tackling my brother into a huge hug.

“JIMMY!!” Jimmy released my brother and turned to regard me.

“Who is this sexy lady?” I smirked and winked at him.

“My baby sister.” I hit Matt round the back of the head.

“Enough of the baby please. Three years doesn’t make me a baby.” Jimmy looked between us.

“Tell me that you are not as much of a lightweight as he is.”

"Hey, I'm not a light weight!" I only grinned at my brother.

“Why don’t you find out?” Jimmy whooped excitedly and grabbed my wrist, dragging me further into the house, leaving Matt to follow laughing.


In real time, I was aware of Zacky getting to his feet asking if I would be okay if he went to see Gena. I nodded, unable to speak. I think that Brian spoke to him, but I didn’t really register it; I was still lost in my memories. Minutes, or maybe hours later, Brian got to his feet and crouched in front of me.

“Denise?” I forced myself to focus on his eyes, ignoring the way that my heart rate hitched at the concern in his eyes. “Come on, you need to get some sleep.” He pulled me to my feet. I let him lead up the stairs, but pulled to a halt outside my room. I just couldn’t go in.

“I can’t.” It was the first time that I’d spoken since I’d told Brian the news. He looked surprised. I ran a hand through my tangled brown hair, I could feel that it was in desperate need of a wash. “I just can’t be alone Brian. I can’t do it. I can’t be left alone with my memories.” He didn’t say anything just pulled me into his arms, holding me close. I wrapped my arms around his neck, unable to fight the tears. How could one of my best friends be gone just like that? “I know that it sounds pathetic, but I just can’t do it…” He cut me off.

“Shhhh, its okay, Denise.” He pulled away slightly. “Stay with me. If I’m gonna be honest, I don’t want to be alone either.” I nodded, letting him lead me to his room.

“Wait,” I stopped just outside of his door, he looked at me curiously. “I need some clothes.” I rubbed a hand across my eyes and began to head back to my room. His hand caught mine.

“Don’t be stupid Denise, you can borrow some of mine.” He pushed open his door and walked in, slowly I followed him. I rarely ever went in his room, unless it was to bitch him out about something. It was messy but not as messy as my room, which surprised me. The walls were painted dark purple and black, photos of him and the band, including me and the rest of the girls, were up on the walls along with band posters. He headed over to a chest of drawers and began rummaging through it. On the bed, a small white bundle of fur moved and looked curiously at us. I smiled and walked over to say hello to Pinkly. She really was a sweet dog, well rat-dog, when she wasn’t shredding my underwear.

“Here.” I turned to find Brian holding out a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. “I’m going to grab some water and let Pinkly out while you change.” He mumbled as I took the clothes. He leaned past me and picked Pinkly up. She grumbled her protest at being disturbed.

“Thanks Brian.” I replied quietly, offering him a weak smile of thanks. He smiled weakly back and tucked a strand of hair behind me ear.

“No worries. We’ll get through this Denise, somehow, we have to.” He whispered as he walked out of the room.

He came back about five minutes later to find me in tears again. I was stood staring at a photo of Jimmy and Brian on the beach at sunset. It had been taken a few years ago, but they both looked so happy. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close.

“How can things ever be the same again, when he’s not here?” Brian turned me around to face him, tears were flowing silently down his cheeks to.

“I don’t know Denise,” He whispered, pulling me into another hug. “I don’t have a clue.” We stayed like that for a time, before he pulled away. “Come on, you need to sleep.” He nudged me in the direction of the bed. I climbed into his bed. On any other day, this would be the strangest thing in the world to be doing, but today it just seemed to make sense to want to be with someone.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him pulling his shirt over his head. Despite everything that had happened, I found myself admiring his toned body. I looked away as he undid his belt and slid his jeans off, my heartbeat increasing. I felt the bed dip next to me as he got in. I laid down on one side, my back to him and tried to sleep. It wasn’t long before his arm wrapped around my waist, holding me close. It should have been awkward, but it was anything but. I felt to relaxed, so comfortable in his arms. The smell of Marlboro cigarettes and his cologne – his smell – surrounded me, relaxing me further.

“Just forget it all Denise. Just sleep.” He murmured, his breath tickling the back of my neck. I laid awake for a while longer, just listening to the sounds around me; his breathing, the birds outside, the odd voice, the occasional car. I still didn’t know what the time was, or even what day it was. I didn’t care. All that I could feel was the pain at losing a best friend and the tingles that spread across my skin from where Brian's hand lay on my stomach. Eventually I fell asleep, the sound of Jimmy’s laugh echoing around my head.

Notes