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Faded Into the Background

Chapter Eight

I don't even remember when I passed out, all I do remember was sleeping with Brian. Right now that was what was on my mind, bugging me. I groaned as the sun hit my eyes, causing my head to pound along with the thoughts. How could I have been so stupid, when I woke up this morning he was gone. I hated that I had fallen for him again, but why? Why did he have to come here and sleep with me? Was he playing some kind of game? I just don't understand. It was like I had a sign on my head, telling people that I am gullible and will sleep with anyone; of course I'm not like that. I had too much to drink and that let my walls down.

“I'm so stupid,” I muttered to myself as I pushed my body up, wincing even more.

On the bedside table sat some aspirin and water, lots of water. I don't even remember putting that there. Could Brian have done it? I reached over, slowly, not wanting to move too fast at all. I grabbed the pills and downed them before chugging the water, feeling the liquid cool my body and quench my thirst. I just couldn't wait for the pills to take affect, though. I wanted this raging headache to go away and I, also, wanted to crawl into a hole and die there. How could I face anyone? Even the guys, they were always knew what was going on with me. That was no matter how many times I reassured them that there is nothing going on. How could I tell them this?

I groaned and put my head in my hands, my hair falling to frame my hands, tears finally making their way out of my eyes and falling until they couldn't; my hands trapping them against my face. I really didn't care right now, because my heart is hurting and I felt so vulnerable and weak right now, feeling like I'm breaking down and pulling apart at the seams. I'm going to need to take my mind off these things, I needed to busy myself. Thank, God I had to work today, because that would help me. Although, since Brian knows where I work, I'm sure that it will haunt me even more. Maybe I needed to quit and find a new job, I knew that I had many talents. But was I ready for this? Was I ready for the tedious task of job searching? How was I going to support myself? Sure, I pay my bills and buy things that I would need, like food and everything else. I have money in the bank, too. So, I was actually well off there. Maybe that is what I need to do.

The only other question I could ask myself is if I should move to LA or somewhere other then Huntington Beach. I know my friends and my family all live here, but I need to branch out. I'm thinking that if I leave the city things will cool down, and everyone will be able to move on and live their lives; it's a win, win situation. This would help me gt away from him and the mistake that we made. I just can't believe that I had let him do this to me, again.

I sighed and got up from the bed and groaned, the pounding in my brain having died down to a dull roar. Her hand wrapped around the receiver and picked it up, the dial tone sounded in my ear and I slammed it back down. I couldn't do it right now, because I wanted that job security and I had rent and bills to pay. Yes, I didn't own this house yet, I was renting-to-own, which is a good thing.

My fingers twitched as I itched to pick up the phone, and I needed to get ready for work. My brain was screaming at me to stop, to not even attempt to go anywhere because Brian would be there; someway and somehow he would sneak his way in. I had to remind myself what he had done to me, because my heart would start beating and I would feel those butterflies. Butterflies I would have welcomed when I was with him, but now they only made me sick to my stomach. My heart palpitating caused me to shake my head, because I was so confused. My mind was saying one thing and my heart was saying another, and it was like they were in battle with each other. Not even dressing and working would take my mind off it. I found myself getting stuck and forgetting what I am doing. My boss was in today and he was getting upset with me, I could tell from the looks he was giving me.

“Desiree, I am going to have to talk to you,” he spoke to me, as I had trailed off with another customer, my teeth worrying against my bottom lip.

The only thing that I could do was nod my head, because those words usually meant you're fired. I couldn't stand for that, squaring my shoulders as I looked to him, I spoke the words that have been on my mind all day.

“I'm quitting,” I tore my nametag from my shirt and handed it to him, along with my id card and everything else that was standard to the hotel.

“I was going to fire you anyway. Your workmanship had gone down and we have been having customer complaints. These were all on your shift,” he informed me, something that was complete, and utter bullshit.

I just rolled my eyes and flipped him off as I walked away from him, knowing that got to him because he was yelling to me about getting me barred from hotels. I didn't care, because I wasn't going to be working in a hotel anymore, not even motels. I was thinking of going back to college anyway and my job was holding me back. One thing was sure, as I was going to have to get one that would work around my school schedule, because I would need the money to pay off Financial Aid if I qualified for it. Unless they are only giving it out to teen moms, which is bullshit. Sure, they need some help because they are too young, but in my opinion they should have thought of it. They shouldn't have brought a kid into the world that they weren't ready for, of course accidents happen; my parents telling me that I was an accident.

There was so much that I wanted to do and right now, I was going to do it. I just had to get the ball in motion.

Notes

Short chapter but I figured that I would update for you guys. I am hoping that someone is liking this story! I truly am sorry that I made all of you wait five years for an update! I'll try and stay on track with it and maybe try and write a new one! I need to find my laptop! Currently I am using my girlfriend's laptop to post this. I do not know how I feel about writing on it. It isn't like I do not trust her, you know? I do not mean that. I just don't want to take up a lot of space on her computer!

Thank you for reading! XOXO

Comments

Loved it! More soon!?
I can imagine who it was!!! You gotta update!!! Now! Please?!!?

Love this story.
Nia_Flores Nia_Flores
11/12/12
Loved the update!
Thank you! I have been told and I haven't gone over this, so I think from now on i'ts me, I'm sorry! I don't mean to switch I just let my writing take over and I don't really pay attention to it and I know that I should! Thank you!@Nia_Flores
M Shadows; M Shadows;
11/5/12
What an asshole!!! Seriously!!! & that's coming from a girl that LOVES Brian, no matter what!!!

Just a small thing: You tend to switch POV's. You tend to go from 'she' to 'me'. I don't know if that's on purpose or not, but just wanted to let you know. It's one of my pet peeves!!! I'm sorry if I offended you.

Hope you update soon!!!
Nia_Flores Nia_Flores
11/5/12