Faded Into the Background
Chapter Six
I looked to the room and shook my head, the bed was torn apart. Sheets and blankets on the floor, pillows flung everywhere. The curtains were torn down and the mini fridge was left open and all the little bottles of alcohol were spread all over the floor. Paper littered the floor, also and I now knew why he only wanted to pay in cash. He didn't want this to be traced back to him, although his name was under the reservation. We could bill him but there was the risk of this not being paid.
I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head, pushing the cart into the room and began to clean up. My nose wrinkled as the lingering smell of sex hit it, wondering where it was coming from and when I seen where it was, I couldn't help but back away from the bed. Disgust was written on my face as a used condom laid on the bare mattress, a little note sitting along side of it. I went to her cart and put my gloves on, picking up the note, that had my name on it, I quickly unfolded it and began to read.
Hey Bitch,
The note had started out, my anger getting the best of me, I clenched my hands and in the process crinkled the paper. Before I could even rip it or anything, I smoothed it out because I wanted to finish it.
I hope you love the surprise we left you. I can just see you're probably
going to pick it up and cuddle with it. I know how you're still hung up on
him. You need to back off or I will bash that face of yours in. I have him
now and you will never get him back. Your pathetic little ploys wont work
on him. He doesn't want some child, he wants a woman that can handle the
partying.
Also, if you try to get back with him...I will have no problem hiring people
to kill you.
Stay away,
M
The letter was signed with a kiss and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that. She thinks that I still love the asshole? I shook my head and crumpled the pretty, little note and threw it away in the garbage bin, picking up the condom with two fingers and tosses it away. I continued to clean the room and tried not to think about anything at all, I just wanted to get out of here. I felt even more drained, this whole drama took a lot out of me.
Finally, after hours of cleaning and rearranging, writing down all the damage and everything; so that he could be billed. My feet ached and my head was still focusing on the note that I had tossed away, wanting to hold the tears in but I couldn't. They fell down my cheeks, leaving a wet trail behind it and I knew that I had needed to get out of there. I knew that I would need a drink or two when I got home, maybe then I would drink myself to sleep and wont wake up. That sounded promising to me right now, my strong shield began to fade as everything was chipping away at it. Now it was threatening to fall and leave me in shambles; a broken girl for the world to see.
I removed my uniform, after giving the bill to my friend to put into the system and took care of the cart, and redressed in my clothes. I had decided to punch out a little bit early, because I didn't think I could handle it here anymore. I felt like I needed to leave this place, although I know the memories would follow me, no matter where I went. I rubbed my temples as she gave me a small, sad smile knowing how I am feeling. I had ranted to her about everything, about what I had found in the room and then I had handed her the bill.
“I never knew he could be like this,” She had told me as she looked to it.
“He wasn't,” I had responded to her as I bite on my bottom lip, “he used to be sweet to me. He used to show me that he loved me. Surprising me with dinners, jewlery and everything you could think of. He used to tell me he loved me all the time. We had talked about the future, about getting married and having kids. We even had their names picked out.”
I gave a sarcastic laugh and looked to her, fresh tears starting down my cheeks, “I guess the joke was on me.”
I shook my head and pushed out of the hotel and felt sobs wracking through my body as I felt like my world is crashing around me, my feet feeling heavy and like each footstep was laden down lead. I could feel my heart clenching and squeezing, as a tight ball had formed in my throat and I felt like I couldn't breathe. The sad thing is, I didn't care if I could or not. I had wanted to die at that point in time. He broke me down in the worst way and yet, he still kept it up. It was like I was his human target. I remembered every word that he had uttered to me, everything that he had done to me. You think you've heard the worst? Well you are wrong. There is so much that no one knew. Things that I didn't even want to pull up from the dark, recesses of my mind. These things would scar me the second time around, that is why I am trying to bury them.
Home loomed ahead of me and I couldn't even be more eager, my footsteps finally picking up and I was practically running towards the house. I also didn't feel the eyes or see the car, the oh, so, familiar car, that was sitting across the seat. The person sitting in the vehicle, frowning and a hurt look crossed their face. They hated seeing her so hurt and they hated that things are going so wrong for her.
I opened the door to my house, putting my keys on the bowl by the door, shutting the door behind me and locking it. Two dogs bounded around my feet and seen that the dog, that I had found, was getting better and more excited to be here. I gave a small smile and knelt, petting both of the dogs. Both of them gave me healthy licks to the face as their tails wagged, frantically, back and forth. I pushed myself up from the floor and headed into the kitchen, seeing their dog bowl was empty; I guess Steph forgot to feed them when she dropped Dottie off. I opened the cupboard and pulled out the bag of food and began to fill their bowls, both dogs diving into it with hunger. I chuckled a bit and went to the fridge, after putting the dog food away of course, and pulled the door open. I looked in and saw the Smirnoff Ice's that I have in there, in all kinds of flavors. Tonight I was feeling the Strawberry acai and so, I grabbed the one with the pink top and opened it, putting the flavored beer to my lips and tipped it back. The bitter, flavored liquid slid down my throat, now I know you're not supposed to drink on an empty stomach, but I didn't care. Right now I only cared about obliterating my mind, and my sobriety. I wanted to forget the events of today as it is.
I grabbed a few more, knowing that I would need them, and headed toward the living room. I plopped down on the couch and set the extras on the coffee table. I pulled the remote off the table and turned the tv on. I flipped through the channels and seen that Resident Evil was having a marathon Syfy, pressing okay the channel flipped to that. I sat back and put my feet up on the table and began to down the rest of the drink, I had finished it and picked up another, blindly opening it and downing half of that. My stomach let out a growl of dissatisfaction and I could feel the alcohol taking affect on my body. I could feel it flowing through my bloodstream all over my body. The movie began to make me laugh and that is when I knew that I was so far gone.
I needed this. I just didn't know how much I was going to regret doing this, a knock sounding on the door. Who could that be? I asked myself as I got up from the couch and went to answer the door, my mouth dropping open as I seen who it was. This was going to be interesting, to say the least.
I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head, pushing the cart into the room and began to clean up. My nose wrinkled as the lingering smell of sex hit it, wondering where it was coming from and when I seen where it was, I couldn't help but back away from the bed. Disgust was written on my face as a used condom laid on the bare mattress, a little note sitting along side of it. I went to her cart and put my gloves on, picking up the note, that had my name on it, I quickly unfolded it and began to read.
Hey Bitch,
The note had started out, my anger getting the best of me, I clenched my hands and in the process crinkled the paper. Before I could even rip it or anything, I smoothed it out because I wanted to finish it.
I hope you love the surprise we left you. I can just see you're probably
going to pick it up and cuddle with it. I know how you're still hung up on
him. You need to back off or I will bash that face of yours in. I have him
now and you will never get him back. Your pathetic little ploys wont work
on him. He doesn't want some child, he wants a woman that can handle the
partying.
Also, if you try to get back with him...I will have no problem hiring people
to kill you.
Stay away,
M
The letter was signed with a kiss and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that. She thinks that I still love the asshole? I shook my head and crumpled the pretty, little note and threw it away in the garbage bin, picking up the condom with two fingers and tosses it away. I continued to clean the room and tried not to think about anything at all, I just wanted to get out of here. I felt even more drained, this whole drama took a lot out of me.
Finally, after hours of cleaning and rearranging, writing down all the damage and everything; so that he could be billed. My feet ached and my head was still focusing on the note that I had tossed away, wanting to hold the tears in but I couldn't. They fell down my cheeks, leaving a wet trail behind it and I knew that I had needed to get out of there. I knew that I would need a drink or two when I got home, maybe then I would drink myself to sleep and wont wake up. That sounded promising to me right now, my strong shield began to fade as everything was chipping away at it. Now it was threatening to fall and leave me in shambles; a broken girl for the world to see.
I removed my uniform, after giving the bill to my friend to put into the system and took care of the cart, and redressed in my clothes. I had decided to punch out a little bit early, because I didn't think I could handle it here anymore. I felt like I needed to leave this place, although I know the memories would follow me, no matter where I went. I rubbed my temples as she gave me a small, sad smile knowing how I am feeling. I had ranted to her about everything, about what I had found in the room and then I had handed her the bill.
“I never knew he could be like this,” She had told me as she looked to it.
“He wasn't,” I had responded to her as I bite on my bottom lip, “he used to be sweet to me. He used to show me that he loved me. Surprising me with dinners, jewlery and everything you could think of. He used to tell me he loved me all the time. We had talked about the future, about getting married and having kids. We even had their names picked out.”
I gave a sarcastic laugh and looked to her, fresh tears starting down my cheeks, “I guess the joke was on me.”
I shook my head and pushed out of the hotel and felt sobs wracking through my body as I felt like my world is crashing around me, my feet feeling heavy and like each footstep was laden down lead. I could feel my heart clenching and squeezing, as a tight ball had formed in my throat and I felt like I couldn't breathe. The sad thing is, I didn't care if I could or not. I had wanted to die at that point in time. He broke me down in the worst way and yet, he still kept it up. It was like I was his human target. I remembered every word that he had uttered to me, everything that he had done to me. You think you've heard the worst? Well you are wrong. There is so much that no one knew. Things that I didn't even want to pull up from the dark, recesses of my mind. These things would scar me the second time around, that is why I am trying to bury them.
Home loomed ahead of me and I couldn't even be more eager, my footsteps finally picking up and I was practically running towards the house. I also didn't feel the eyes or see the car, the oh, so, familiar car, that was sitting across the seat. The person sitting in the vehicle, frowning and a hurt look crossed their face. They hated seeing her so hurt and they hated that things are going so wrong for her.
I opened the door to my house, putting my keys on the bowl by the door, shutting the door behind me and locking it. Two dogs bounded around my feet and seen that the dog, that I had found, was getting better and more excited to be here. I gave a small smile and knelt, petting both of the dogs. Both of them gave me healthy licks to the face as their tails wagged, frantically, back and forth. I pushed myself up from the floor and headed into the kitchen, seeing their dog bowl was empty; I guess Steph forgot to feed them when she dropped Dottie off. I opened the cupboard and pulled out the bag of food and began to fill their bowls, both dogs diving into it with hunger. I chuckled a bit and went to the fridge, after putting the dog food away of course, and pulled the door open. I looked in and saw the Smirnoff Ice's that I have in there, in all kinds of flavors. Tonight I was feeling the Strawberry acai and so, I grabbed the one with the pink top and opened it, putting the flavored beer to my lips and tipped it back. The bitter, flavored liquid slid down my throat, now I know you're not supposed to drink on an empty stomach, but I didn't care. Right now I only cared about obliterating my mind, and my sobriety. I wanted to forget the events of today as it is.
I grabbed a few more, knowing that I would need them, and headed toward the living room. I plopped down on the couch and set the extras on the coffee table. I pulled the remote off the table and turned the tv on. I flipped through the channels and seen that Resident Evil was having a marathon Syfy, pressing okay the channel flipped to that. I sat back and put my feet up on the table and began to down the rest of the drink, I had finished it and picked up another, blindly opening it and downing half of that. My stomach let out a growl of dissatisfaction and I could feel the alcohol taking affect on my body. I could feel it flowing through my bloodstream all over my body. The movie began to make me laugh and that is when I knew that I was so far gone.
I needed this. I just didn't know how much I was going to regret doing this, a knock sounding on the door. Who could that be? I asked myself as I got up from the couch and went to answer the door, my mouth dropping open as I seen who it was. This was going to be interesting, to say the least.
11/16/12