I Say It Just Moves On..

*James' POV*

"I should've got her out of there as fast as I could. What was I thinking? Letting her take a few days to think about it.. I should have given her a few minutes.
But then again, I can't force her to have a relationship with me.. even though she is my flesh and blood."

I started to drown myself in my thoughts.. Couldn't stop thinking. So I decided to write a song. For Cherish and for myself. Both of us.
I made my way into my study, shut the door and turned on the lights. I haven't been in here in a while. Touring and family. It's hard sometimes to make time for yourself. But I didn't mind so much. I loved my life the way it was and I'm pretty damn sure I'd love it even more once I have all of my kids under one roof.
My mind starting thinking about Cherish again..

"I can't believe I let it get this bad.."

I tried, I really did, to get to know her before but Rose decided against it. And I agreed.
Cherish was happy. Emphasis on the "was."

"I really hope I can make her happy as Jimmy and the others did.. as Rose did.
God, I am so thankful for that woman."
I thought to myself as I grabbed a pen and a few blank sheets of lined paper. I sat there, thinking about which line should be first.. Then my pen had a mind of its own and wrote,

"Wait to face the day
Grab this life and walk away.."


*Jimmy's POV*

I haven't left the hospital since it happened.. it's been 2 days and the doctors said there's still no sign of her waking up any time soon. The guys have been in and out of here. Skipping class and drinking a lot more than usual. I wish they'd stop with the drinking because it is honestly not making me feel any better. My mind was always racing..
I couldn't stop myself from overthinking the worst. I always hear bad stories about comas ending badly! I just shook off my negative thoughts and started to think of the positive. I held her hand as I spoke to her, with the biggest lump in my throat.

"You have to wake up, baby girl."
My heart fluttering with shyness when I kept speaking.

"I need you.. to be awake.
The boys and I need you now more than ever."
I said as I tried swallowing the lump, wiping away the tears and the snot from my nose.

"I can't do this without you. I know it hasn't been long that we've known each other but I feel like I've known you.. all my life. You are the sun, the moon and the stars to me."
I said to her, as I stood up and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm not sure what's going through your mind. I'm not sure if you want to die or if you want to live. I didn't get to know that side of you yet. But seeing you here, lifeless and cold.
It kills me."
I choked back a sob.

"My heart shatters more and more with each passing hour when you don't wake up."
I told her. I was going to continue to spill my feelings out to her but I'm sure she feels stressed. I didn't want to add on to that. I really had nothing else to say to her so I just decided to tell her what the boys and James have been up to.
Clearing my throat before I spoke,

"The guys have been drinking. I'm not sure if you wanna hear that right now but I felt like I needed to tell you.
They all feel pretty beaten up, I guess. They can't handle this as much as me. But they're trying. Like seriously, it's been 2 days but they've been drinking all day and all night."
I started to rant.
"I am so sorry Cherish, I know you don't want to hear shit like this but I literally have no one else to talk to.."
I looked at her body. Breathing steadily. Her eyes not moving.
"James is.. really working on getting you back."

I couldn't even think of that right now. Like seriously, he lives all the way in fuckin' Colorado.

"He talked to your family services worker. He told me he just had a couple papers signed and that's it.. You'll be gone forever."

I said to her, rubbing my face then running my fingers through my hair.

*Cherish's POV*

I sat in the corner of what felt like a small, dark room. I didn't know what to feel, I just sat here, thinking of how the hell I got here.
I was getting lost in my own thoughts until I heard a voice. A man's voice. It was so distant and distorted, I could barely recognized who it belonged to.
I listened to everything he said. Getting frustrated because I couldn't recognize who it was.
I tried listening some more but it got muffled. It was like I had earplugs in.
I screamed, trying to get myself to hear better. Only to make this room.. somewhat brighter. I could hear way better than before and I felt way better than uneasy.
But I still couldn't see anything. It's like I was sleeping only.. I wasn't?
I couldn't figure what the hell was happening until I heard him speak again.

"You have to wake up."

And that's when I recognized who it was. Jimmy! My heart jumped with joy, I started jumping up and down, crying happy tears.
"He found me."
I thought to myself as I started to call out to him. Heart filled with hope that he'd take me away from this dark, scary place.

"Jimmy! Jimmy!"
I screamed and he was nowhere to be seen.. or heard.

"James!"
I screamed a few more times. It was so obvious he couldn't hear me. I kept trying until my throat got raw.
I couldn't talk. I couldn't scream. I couldn't even whisper.
I crashed down to the ground, hard on my knees. I started to bleed but I didn't even feel the pain. I started to cry because all I wanted to do was go home and lay in my bed.
My warm bed, watching netflix and just relaxing in my comfy avengers pajamas and baggy tee's. I wish I was with Jimmy and the others. I need to feel all of their warmth and their love. I felt so sad, alone, cold and.. lost.
No one could hear me.. not even the voices in my head.
I got up and walked to wherever. I tried to walk to God knows where but it was I was on a treadmill. I couldn't think anymore.
I sat down and held my knees tightly to my chest. I let my hair fall over my body to keep me warm.
I just wanted to sleep, if I was tired, I would've.

"Please.. get me out of here."
I winced out.

Notes

BELLOOOO.
I'm so sorry I took 7 damn months to update. And I'm sorry if this a shitty chapter :( I have terrible writer's block..
Plus, my little sisters downloaded something on my laptop and crashed it!
So I'm borrowing another..
I will try to update again as soon as possible. (I know I say that a lot, but I'm for real this time.)

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Leave me a message if you have any questions/concerns, and/or ideas you want to add :)
I'm open-minded to new things :D