Flames
Love me forever
“I’m sick of the lies Brian! I can’t take this anymore. We are in a relationship but yet I seem to be the only one putting anything into this!” I scream as I throw a vase across the room to my soon to be ex fiancé. He ducks out of the way of the object hurling towards his head before turning to look at me with anger blazing in his eyes.
“Damn it Ad! Stop throwing shit at me!” He yells while heading towards me but I pick up a picture of me and him from our 5 year anniversary, heaving it towards him.
“Back off Brian! I’m serious this time. Who are you fucking? Huh? Just tell me already.” Going to grab another picture Brian holds his hands up in defeat while slowly backing away from me.
“Ad how many times do I have to tell you that you are the only woman for me? I don’t even look at other girls much less fuck them.” He says with so much sincerity in his voice I drop the picture before turning and running to our bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I curl up on the chair in the corner as I cry and wonder how I got to this point in my life. After a few minutes I hear a soft knock on the door, looking up I see Brian peeking his head in.
“Ad? Baby? Can I come in?” He questions waiting for me to nod my head before he walks in and heads over to me. Crouching in front of me I stare at him with a tear streaked face.
“Adalay. Baby come here.” He whispers while picking me up and sitting me down on his lap. He starts humming our song in my ear while running his fingers through my hair. I slowly start to calm down and I even start to voice the lyrics to our song.
“Everything changes, it all stays the same,
Everyone guilty, no one to blame,
Every way out, brings you back to the start,
Everyone dies to break somebody's heart,
We are the system, we are the law,
We are corruption, worm in the core,
One of another, laugh 'til you cry,
Faith unto death or a knife in the eye,
Everything changes, it all stays the same,
Everyone guilty, no one to blame,
Every way out, brings you back to the start,
Everyone dies to break somebody's heart,
Love me or leave me, tell me no lies,
Ask me no questions, send me no spies,
You know love's a thief, steal your heart in the night,
Slip through your fingers, you best hold on tight.”
I softly whisper the last part before turning to Brian and placing a kiss upon his lips. Pulling back I look at him hoping he sees the apology swarming around in my eyes, the one that I’ll never say out loud. He nods slowly at me, placing a quick kiss on my forehead before nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck. After a while I grab his hands, unwrapping his arms from around me before standing up. Giving me a puzzled look I just roll my eyes before holding my hand out to help him off the ground. After pulling him up I kiss him on the cheek before heading out of the bedroom. I hear him follow as we made our way downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs I turn around looking at him.
“What do you want for dinner?” I question as I turn back around, heading into the kitchen, completely ignoring the smashed picture on the floor. I roll my eyes knowing I’m going to have to clean it up later but right now I just want to worry about getting some food. I open the fridge, knowing nothing is in there because I haven’t been shopping in forever. I stand there a minute before I feel arms wrap around me. Brian places his head on my shoulder while hugging me from behind.
“Ad whens the last time you went shopping? Before I went on tour?” He jokes as he places a kiss on my neck and moving away from me. I sigh closing the fridge and turning to see him in the take out drawer, pulling menus out. He grins at me before holding up our favorite Chinese place.
“Sound good Ad? We can order in and watch a movie.” He says while watching me to see if I agree.
“Sure sounds good babe. You know what I like.” I nod while replying. “Go ahead and order I’m going to smoke.” I pick up my pack off the counter, that I left there from earlier, before heading to the back patio. After stepping out the sliding door and shutting it I take a deep breath and exhale slowly before lighting up. I sit down on one of the chairs, staring at the ocean in front of me. I start to think back to everything that has happened in our relationship. It’s coming up on our 8 year anniversary soon and I don’t understand how we are still together. What happened earlier is a common occurrence in this house. We never fight in front of anyone, always saving it for when we are enclosed in our home from prying eyes of the public and even our friends. Taking a drag I hold it in before slowly letting it out as earlier tonight plays out in my mind. Brian just got home today from a month long mini tour to help promote their new album. I thought he was due back tomorrow so I was completely surprised to come home finding him sitting in the living room. I ran to him as he stood up and I jump into his arms pressing kisses all over his face. He chuckled before telling me to slow down, as I already was trying to pull his shirt over his head. I ignored him and he started to push me away from him. I felt something snap in me and that’s when the fight started. Shaking my head I go to take another drag to realize I’m at the end of it. Just as I weigh out the idea of smoking another one Brian pops his head out the door.
“Ad the food will be here soon do you wanna pick out the movie.” He questions with a smile. I nod my head, picking my lighter up off the table. He turns around and heads into the living room and I follow. All I can think is how we are like fire and gasoline, soon everything is going to end up in flames.
“Damn it Ad! Stop throwing shit at me!” He yells while heading towards me but I pick up a picture of me and him from our 5 year anniversary, heaving it towards him.
“Back off Brian! I’m serious this time. Who are you fucking? Huh? Just tell me already.” Going to grab another picture Brian holds his hands up in defeat while slowly backing away from me.
“Ad how many times do I have to tell you that you are the only woman for me? I don’t even look at other girls much less fuck them.” He says with so much sincerity in his voice I drop the picture before turning and running to our bedroom, slamming the door behind me. I curl up on the chair in the corner as I cry and wonder how I got to this point in my life. After a few minutes I hear a soft knock on the door, looking up I see Brian peeking his head in.
“Ad? Baby? Can I come in?” He questions waiting for me to nod my head before he walks in and heads over to me. Crouching in front of me I stare at him with a tear streaked face.
“Adalay. Baby come here.” He whispers while picking me up and sitting me down on his lap. He starts humming our song in my ear while running his fingers through my hair. I slowly start to calm down and I even start to voice the lyrics to our song.
“Everything changes, it all stays the same,
Everyone guilty, no one to blame,
Every way out, brings you back to the start,
Everyone dies to break somebody's heart,
We are the system, we are the law,
We are corruption, worm in the core,
One of another, laugh 'til you cry,
Faith unto death or a knife in the eye,
Everything changes, it all stays the same,
Everyone guilty, no one to blame,
Every way out, brings you back to the start,
Everyone dies to break somebody's heart,
Love me or leave me, tell me no lies,
Ask me no questions, send me no spies,
You know love's a thief, steal your heart in the night,
Slip through your fingers, you best hold on tight.”
I softly whisper the last part before turning to Brian and placing a kiss upon his lips. Pulling back I look at him hoping he sees the apology swarming around in my eyes, the one that I’ll never say out loud. He nods slowly at me, placing a quick kiss on my forehead before nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck. After a while I grab his hands, unwrapping his arms from around me before standing up. Giving me a puzzled look I just roll my eyes before holding my hand out to help him off the ground. After pulling him up I kiss him on the cheek before heading out of the bedroom. I hear him follow as we made our way downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs I turn around looking at him.
“What do you want for dinner?” I question as I turn back around, heading into the kitchen, completely ignoring the smashed picture on the floor. I roll my eyes knowing I’m going to have to clean it up later but right now I just want to worry about getting some food. I open the fridge, knowing nothing is in there because I haven’t been shopping in forever. I stand there a minute before I feel arms wrap around me. Brian places his head on my shoulder while hugging me from behind.
“Ad whens the last time you went shopping? Before I went on tour?” He jokes as he places a kiss on my neck and moving away from me. I sigh closing the fridge and turning to see him in the take out drawer, pulling menus out. He grins at me before holding up our favorite Chinese place.
“Sound good Ad? We can order in and watch a movie.” He says while watching me to see if I agree.
“Sure sounds good babe. You know what I like.” I nod while replying. “Go ahead and order I’m going to smoke.” I pick up my pack off the counter, that I left there from earlier, before heading to the back patio. After stepping out the sliding door and shutting it I take a deep breath and exhale slowly before lighting up. I sit down on one of the chairs, staring at the ocean in front of me. I start to think back to everything that has happened in our relationship. It’s coming up on our 8 year anniversary soon and I don’t understand how we are still together. What happened earlier is a common occurrence in this house. We never fight in front of anyone, always saving it for when we are enclosed in our home from prying eyes of the public and even our friends. Taking a drag I hold it in before slowly letting it out as earlier tonight plays out in my mind. Brian just got home today from a month long mini tour to help promote their new album. I thought he was due back tomorrow so I was completely surprised to come home finding him sitting in the living room. I ran to him as he stood up and I jump into his arms pressing kisses all over his face. He chuckled before telling me to slow down, as I already was trying to pull his shirt over his head. I ignored him and he started to push me away from him. I felt something snap in me and that’s when the fight started. Shaking my head I go to take another drag to realize I’m at the end of it. Just as I weigh out the idea of smoking another one Brian pops his head out the door.
“Ad the food will be here soon do you wanna pick out the movie.” He questions with a smile. I nod my head, picking my lighter up off the table. He turns around and heads into the living room and I follow. All I can think is how we are like fire and gasoline, soon everything is going to end up in flames.
10/29/13