Ruby's POV

A week had passed, and I knew Warped Tour was surely over. By now, the guys would have returned to Huntington Beach, but I was still here. I'd made my own choice, because to me, this was the right thing to do. But the guilt weighed heavy on my heart as I stared at the roof of the spare bedroom I'd been staying in.

Brian would have had to have told McKenna that I'd left again, and the thought of it pained me. She was just coming into her own as a musician before I'd left, and instead of coming home and having her show me what she and Julia had been working on while we were away, I was here in Chicago. I had zero intention of this being permanent, but I had no idea how long it'd be before I felt it was the right time to go back to Huntington.

Jack was getting better, granted. He'd seemed to have improved drastically since I'd come back, maybe seeing me made him feel like he had something to prove. His apologies had kept coming, but I'd avoided indulging him too much, and kept telling him to focus on his recovery.

Several months ago, those apologies probably would've led me right back into his arms. I hated to admit it, but it was eating at me deep down. I'd been so happy before I'd learned he was ill, finally moving on with my life, not a care in the world for where Jack was or how he was doing. I'd more or less forgotten he existed whilst I was swept up in the excitement of Warped Tour, and my budding romance with Brian.

Being back here, seeing him every day, was stirring something within me. For with each apology, the little voice in my head would whisper to me, telling me he had changed, making me wonder if I'd just stuck around a few more months, maybe things would be different. It didn't help that despite his current disheveled state, those Hazel eyes remained the same, the same eyes of the person I'd once loved.

I sighed, trying to push the thought from my mind as I rolled onto my side. No matter how much Jack might've changed, he had still hurt me. He had still manipulated me and used me, he'd still assumed that I'd cheated on him. Nothing he could say or do could make up for how badly he'd damaged me, for the longest time.

My eyes caught sight of the notebook Jimmy had given me, poking out of my backpack. It's pink sparkles glinted in the sunlight that shone in through the window, as if it were calling to me. I plucked it from the bag, flipping through pages upon pages of song lyrics I'd written and scrapped, over and over again. Suddenly, a photograph slipped out into my lap, the photo that Jimmy had given me for my birthday. Taken outside the back entrance of one of the venues the guys had played at.



I flipped it over, and my eyes scanned the message Jimmy had scrawled on the back;

"Hey Squirt, Happy Birthday. I was digging through some old shit and I found this photo. I know you're still adjusting to being back home and you've been through a lot lately, so I thought this photo would take you back to happier times. Whenever you feel down, and we're not around, take a look at this picture and remember the five idiots who love you to death and would do anything for you. As long as you are a part of the Avenged Sevenfold family, you are never alone..."

I breathed in deeply as my heart swelled inside my chest, turning it back over, smiling at the five of them; Matt, Jimmy, Johnny, Zacky in his Misfits tee - which had sparked up a conversation over our mutual love for them. And Brian... His hair was shorter back then, and hung in less than flattering curls across his forehead. But his smile remained the same. Those dark brown eyes still looked just as gorgeous, rimmed in the darkest eyeliner. - I missed him sooo much...

I set the photo to the side and flipped through the notebook's pages, until my eyes settled on some lyrics I had written in the lead up to, and whilst in Vegas. My mind had been wandering long before Brian had ever done much more than flirt, dance with me, and occasionally pin me down when we'd playfight. I'd never told him, but I'd been writing in an attempt to get it out of my system. The melody was still in my head, and I glanced upward at Sam's guitar, sitting on a stand in the corner of the room.

I picked it up, and settled back down on the bed with the guitar in my lap. I plucked at the strings, finding a few familiar chords from the afternoon that Brian had spent teaching me to play, and soon found a tune I liked. I hummed along with it, beginning to sing when it sounded just right;

"Put down your cigar, and pick me up, play me your guitar, that song I love. Thirsty for your love, fill up my cup. I got only good intentions, so give me your attention."

"You're only brave in the moonlight, so why don't you stay till sunrise?"

"Your body's looking good tonight, I'm thinking we should cross the line. Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship. Do all the things on our minds, what's taking us all this time? Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship."

"Baby, you and I got history, and we can't deny our chemistry. So why the fuck are we a mystery? Let's just go with the connection, give me your affection."

"You're only brave in the moonlight, so why don't you stay till sunrise?"

"Your body's looking good tonight, I'm thinking we should cross the line. Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship. Do all the things on our minds, what's taking us all this time? Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship."

"No, I can't keep denying every minute I think of you. No, I can't keep denying every minute I think of you. No, I can't keep denying every minute I think of you. No, I can't keep denying every minute I think of you..."

"Your body's looking good tonight, I'm thinking we should cross the line. Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship. Do all the things on our minds, what's taking us all this time? Let's ruin the friendship, let's ruin the friendship."

"Mmm, sexy." Sam purred, pulling me out of my trance.
"Shut up." I snorted.
"It's good." she nodded, coming to sit beside me on the bed.
"Thanks."
"Brian's really gotten to you, huh?" she teased.
"He really has" I breathed, closing my eyes.
"He's got you writing songs about him, you've never been able to write songs about anyone, unless they were sad ones."
"He just drives me crazy, in the best way." I smiled. "He's so goddamn sexy."
"I won't argue with that." she laughed. "He grew up Hot."
"That's an understatement." I groaned, my eyes rolling back in my head.
"Damn, he must be fucking awesome in the sack, to stir that kind of reaction."
"You have no idea..." I smirked. "If you thought I was loud with Jack, it's nothing compared to how Brian makes me feel."

"Oh, so you did fuck him?" Jack snarled, suddenly appearing in the doorway.
"What's it to you?!" I snapped. "You ended things, you have no right to be jealous."
"I'm not jealous, just seems I was fucking right, you did want his dick."
"Not until you and I were over."
"We ended back in April, didn't take you fucking long to move on."
"You moved on in two weeks, remember?" I growled. "You were already fucking some stripper bitch and posting about it all over Facebook!"
"That's none of your business!"
"AS IS ME SLEEPING WITH BRIAN!" I yelled, losing my patience. "AND HE TREATS ME A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN YOU EVER FUCKING DID!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH, THE PAIR OF YOU!" Sam cut in, getting up from the bed and pushing Jack out of the room. "YOU, GO AND COOL OFF!"

Jack stormed off out of my sight and my chest heaved as I shook with rage. I closed my eyes and tried to get a handle on my breathing, knowing if I didn't, I'd end up having a panic attack. I knew that sooner or later, Jack would find out about Brian and I, but I had never been good with confrontation. It brought back horrible memories of all the previous arguments Jack and I had had when we were together.

"You okay?" Sam asked.
"I will be." I breathed, unable to speak properly just yet.
"I'll go make you some chamomile tea, it'll help you calm down."
"Thank you." I whispered.

What the hell was I even doing here?

Notes

HOLY FUCK, AN UPDATE!

I don't think I need to explain at this point how badly I suffer from Writer's Block. It's like, I know where I want the story to go, but finding the words is a challenge. Trust me, I have been reading your comments, and I DO care that you want more. Blame my stupid brain for not working with me to help bring you new chapters regularly.

The song in this chapter was Ruin The Friendship by Demi Lovato, but I used a cover by someone who has more of the kinda vocal style I imagine Ruby would have. So some of the lyrics don't quite match, my bad!!

Oh and also, ya gurl started streaming on Twitch and it's actually a lot more time-consuming and a lot more work than you would think. But I'm having an absolute blast doing it and I've felt much better, mentally, since I started. So if my updates are slow, that is also a big part of why.

I AM NOT ABANDONING THIS STORY
WRITING IS JUST VERY DIFFICULT

Until next time!! xx