Brian's POV

"Rise and shine, boys!" Dan's voice awoke me from my slumber, knocking on the wood that divided each of our bunks. "It's a new day!"

Fucking day-walker, he was always the first one up in the mornings. By the time the rest of us had sauntered out into the main area of the bus, he'd likely already gone for his morning run, taken a shower and had breakfast. The man was a fucking machine. I grumbled as I felt around for my phone and unlocked it, to find I had one new message;

To Brian:
From: Ruby
Got there safely, and I promise you, I will be back
Hang in there, Baby
I love you xx

My stomach dropped. Those three little words. They never should have been said for the first time via text. Hell, Ruby should have never gone back to Chicago at all. I should have tried harder to convince her to stay. She was stubborn and usually stuck to her guns, but she was my girl, and I'd let her go.

Was she even my girl?

Sure, I'd said she was Mine, but that was in the heat of a passionate moment. We'd never really put a proper label on things before she'd left. All I'd given her was the promise that things would be different when we got off tour, that I wanted to really give Us a shot. But everything was up in the air now, and I had no guarantee when, or if, she'd be back.

"Gates." Dan said, slapping the wooden frame of my bunk, breaking me out of my thoughts.
"Give me a minute." I grumbled, pulling back the curtain.
"You can't just sit around and sulk because she's gone." he frowned. "I know you miss her, but we still have a week of tour to get through."
"We're not on 'till the afternoon anyway." I sighed, rolling over onto my back.
"Which gives you a few hours to wake up, eat, shower, and get yourself human." he slapped the frame again. "Up and at 'em, Soldier."
"Alright." I groaned.

Dan left and I slowly slid out of my bunk, making my way into the bus's tiny bathroom to splash my face. My hair was all over the place, and yesterday's eyeliner had smeared its way down my cheeks. I looked as tired as I felt. Sighing, I stripped off my boxers, and stepped into the shower, letting the water wash over me as I scrubbed my face clean.

The last thing I wanted to do today was play a show, but that wasn't up to Me. When you were part of a band, you pulled your weight, rain, hail or shine. I wasn't looking forward to not having my favourite person in the crowd, though. I chuckled to myself; Wow, since when was I that guy who pined for his girl? I was never this way with Jenna.

Jenna and I's relationship had blossomed as the result of two things and two things only; Sex and Drugs. When I wasn't busy with the band, we'd spend every day totally fucked off our faces, and fuck each other's brains out all night until the wee hours of the morning. What I'd once thought was Love had been nothing but Lust and a way to escape the agony of Ruby being ripped out of my life by Jack.

And now it'd happened again...

I'd known Ruby long enough to know that her compassion held no bounds, but Jack didn't deserve it. When they'd been together, he had treated her like absolute garbage; Justifying his drug addiction and gaslighting her whenever she expressed her concerns. Repeatedly accusing her of sleeping with Me, or having "secret threesomes" with Johnny and Zacky because of how inseparable they were. Choosing to stay up all night playing his fucking video games instead of going to bed with her.

The only time I'd ever seen him express some sort of affection for her was when he wanted to fuck. No matter how badly he treated her, all it took was a kiss, a meal, and a cuddle session, and he'd get exactly what he wanted. Ruby was so starved for his affection that she'd give in without a second thought, just to be intimate with him for however long before he went back to his usual routine.

Pulling myself out of my thoughts once again, I shut off the shower and made my way back out to the bunks, grabbing the first tank and jeans I found in my backpack. I got dressed, and decided I'd worry about eyeliner and all that shit later, it was early, and all I really cared about was getting my morning hit of Nicotine.

Jimmy and Demi were curled up together on the couch as I made my way out to the front of the bus, and I had to force myself to not scowl at them. The last thing I needed right now was to see them all lovey-dovey and shit. Lucky them, their relationship had bloomed three years ago and stayed strong. My girl had gotten away.

Twice.

"Morning!" Jimmy grinned, waving at me.
"Morning." I nodded, quickly exiting the bus.

The sun was already beating down on Detroit, too fucking bright for my mood. I lit my smoke, and leaned against the side of the bus, inhaling the sweet Nicotine. Backstage was already chaotic, roadies running to and fro, tour managers badgering their bands to get their shit together. I saw Matt from Bullet For My Valentine emerge from the crowd, and waved to get his attention.

"Hey!" he grinned, jogging over to me. "How's it going?"
"Honestly? I've been better." I sighed.
"Why, what's up?" he asked, leaning against the bus beside me, lighting his own cigarette.
"Ruby's gone, again."
"What?!"
"Her old friend Sam showed up when we were in Chicago a couple of days ago." I informed him. "Turns out Jack's drug addiction finally caught up to him, and Ruby decided to go back and take care of him."
"Did you try and stop her?!"
"Of course I did!" I huffed, blowing out a puff of smoke. "But Ruby's always been too fucking kind for her own good."
"How are things with you two?" he asked. "I've been a little absent since Vegas, and I apologize for that, man."
"It's fine." I snorted. "I would be too, had I been in the middle of that shit."
"So did you two ever figure your shit out?"
"We had sex, if that's what you're asking." I chuckled.
"About fuckin' time." he teased, taking a drag of his smoke. "And then what?"
"And then it was fun, for a time, until I fucked it up."
"Gates." he sighed, rolling his eyes.
"I know." I frowned. "It was supposed to be a whole What Happens In Vegas, Stays In Vegas kinda deal."
"And you couldn't keep it behind the zipper."
"No, I just found other people to sleep with when we got home."
"And I'm guessing she didn't take that well?"
"It got real awkward." I admitted. "And then the guys and I went to New York-"
"For TRL, yeah?" he asked. "I saw that."
"And the makeup artist was a fan, one thing led to another..."
"For christ's sake, man..."
"You don't need to tell me I'm a piece of shit, I know." I snapped. "So, we got back, and I tried to give things a go with Ruby, and then Jimmy told her what I'd done while we were gone."
"As he should've."
"In hindsight, I see that." I agreed. "Shit was completely fucked up until we got to Salt Lake City, I got jealous that she was hooking up with Danny-"
"Worsnop?"
"Yeah."
"And you took back what was yours." Matt smirked.
"Pretty much." I nodded. "And it was good, for awhile, until Chicago..."
"The main thing here, is that you finally made your move." he said, squeezing my shoulder. "If she loves you, she'll come back."
"And that's where I really screwed up." I sighed, dropping my cigarette to the ground as I finished it.
"How?"
"I never told her I loved her..."

Notes

Yeahhh, I realized if I were to re-write and split this story in two, it'd take like, a year. The story is almost 70 chapters long now and as much as the earlier chapters have shit I'd like to cut out, and a few plot-holes and mistakes, I really can't be bothered. Maybe I will someday, but for now, we're gonna slug on. And I'm sorry it's been forever. I have the rest of the story up in my brain but getting it out in words has been a little bit of a struggle. I will try not to keep you waiting months on end again, but just be patient with me, please...

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Until next time!! xx