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Broken Arrow

Too Many People To Ache Over

I'd pretty much gone straight to bed when we got home, completely wiped from the shopping trip. I hardly went out anymore, so even being out for a mere few hours tired me right the fuck out. I knew I was lacking in Iron since all I'd really been eating for the past five months was Mi Goreng noodles and countless cups of Coffee. It was a less than healthy way to sustain oneself, but it kept me going, sort of. It was the reason my weight had dropped down so much.

Brian wasn't home when we'd returned, he'd wandered off after his outburst earlier that afternoon and Matt found him wandering around down by the beach. Matt had talked him down, but Brian hadn't wanted to come home just yet, and so Matt left him to his own devices, assuring me he'd come home when he was ready.

Dreams of Jack plagued my mind while I slept. I woke up in tears later that night, having had a beautiful dream of being back in his arms again. I quickly forced myself to stop crying, throwing back the sheets of my bed and walking into the bathroom connected to the guestroom.

I turned on the tap, letting cold water run out of the faucet of the sink, and splashed my face to clean away the tears. I was sick of being this way every single day, it was bullshit. I dried my face with the hand towel, and went back into my room, pulling my Skeleton Onesie from my suitcase. I'd absolutely refused to leave it behind, despite Brian teasing me about it.

I crept out of my room, down the stairs, and was surprised to see everyone was still up. Johnny and Mini Gates were sitting in front of Brian's flat screen playing Guitar Hero. Kiki, Trixie and Demi were all in the kitchen, talking and drinking from wine glasses full of what looked more like Lemon Squash than Wine. Matt, Jimmy and Zacky must have been outside, I could hear their loud voices and laughter coming from the back yard through the open glass doors.

Demi looked up when she saw me come down the stairs and set her glass down before racing over to me. She hugged me, and I could smell liquor on her, but I didn't care. She gave me a drunken grin as she pulled away, before grabbing my hand and dragging me back up the stairs. She led me to one of the other guest bedrooms.

"I got you something." She said, grabbing a Hot Topic bag from her bed and handing it to me. "I saw you eying it off earlier when we were shopping."
"Dem--" I opened my mouth to protest, but she cut me off.
"No, shut it, open the bag."

I rolled my eyes, and pulled the small bundle of fabric from the bag. A gasp escaped my lips when I realized it was the $80 dress I'd decided to put back earlier today as I just didn't have the money. I held it against myself, and it seemed to fold into my body shape perfectly. I grabbed the skirt, swishing it from side to side, grinning like a little girl on her birthday.

"Thanks, Dem." I smiled. "Really, you're amazing."
"No problem." She grinned. "Now, go take a shower and get dressed, we're having a Bonfire Party down on the beach once the warm night air sets in."
"That'd explain why you're borderline hammered already." I laughed.
"I am not!" She defended herself. "I swear I've only had four glasses!"
"What were you drinking anyway?" I asked.
"That Smirnoff Red shit you used to love."
"I still love it." I informed her.
"Well I suppose it's good we have it then, miss I-Don't-Drink-Beer." She teased. "Now, as cute as you look in that Skeleton Jumpsuit--"
"Onesie." I grumbled.
"Whatever, go get showered and dressed." She said.
"Thanks for the dress." I smiled.
"No worries."

***

We all sat around the burning fire pit we'd created, Zacky had his guitar sitting in his lap and was playing a song that I hadn't heard yet. It'd been a long time since I'd last watched the guys' band play, at Chain Reaction, and to be honest, I had quite missed their music.

"Seize the day or day regretting the time you lost, it's empty and cold without you here, to many people to ache over..." Matt sang along to the tune of Zacky's guitar.

Jimmy had been tapping his drumsticks on an old bongo drum a little while ago playing along with the guys. But now he was locked at the lips with Demi, and I was almost certain at any point, Demi was going to drag his ass into the house. They were like teenagers, forever all over each other and just being idiots together. It kinda pulled at my heartstrings a little bit, since it reminded me of the way Jack and I used to be.

Johnny had his arm around Mini Gates singing along with Matt as Zacky played, and Trixie and Kiki swayed in time with the music. I watched the tender glances to and from them and their lovers, still feeling that pang of jealousy in my heart. It was getting a little bit irksome, and so I got up from where I sat, and made to walk off down the beach before I ended up in tears because of how lonely and left out I felt.

Demi pulled away from Jimmy just long enough to see me getting up. "Ruby!" She called after me. "Where are you going?"
"I was just gonna take a walk." I answered.
"You okay?" Jimmy asked, a genuine look of concern on his face.
I nodded. "I will be, I just need a breather."
Matt stopped singing for a few moments and Johnny carried on the song as he spoke. "Bri's a little way down the beach, just so you know." He smiled.
"Thanks Matty." I returned the smile, before turning and walking away.

I kicked off my flats, wanting to feel the sand between my toes like I used to, letting my flats dangle off my fingers by my side. The night air was warm and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore was incredibly soothing. I gazed out over the Ocean as I walked, admiring the full moon glimmering upon the water's surface. It truly was a beautiful sight, and it made me feel even more homesick.

I never should have left...

I eventually spotted Brian, he was sitting atop a large rock just up ahead. His long black hair fluttered softly in the breeze. He looked deep in thought as he stared out at the ocean, and as I got closer, it broke my heart to see how sad his eyes looked. I had never, ever, in all my years of knowing Brian, seen him this sad.

"Bri." I spoke as I approached him.
"Hey." His voice was monotonic.
"You okay?"
He sighed. "Not really."
"Jenna?" I guessed.
"Mhmm."
"What happened Bri?" I asked, crawling up beside him on the rock.
"She was getting more distant, working longer hours at the lounge." He started. "She'd come home late every night, and not really wanna talk to me." He chewed on his nails a little before continuing. "One night I hear her phone go off, and she answers it and she's all shady fucking whispering to the person on the other end, I was pretending to be asleep, even when she hung up and shoved me to see if I was awake."
"Bri..." I didn't like where this was going.
"Next morning she comes in, I can fucking smell Sex all over her, and she fucking lies to my face telling me she got called into work." He shook his head. "So I told her I heard her little phone call, and that I knew she was obviously cheating on me."
"She seemed so nice..." I bit my lip. "I just... I don't understand how a person could do that."
"I should have seen it coming, she was a fucking stripper for god's sake." He grunted, pushing himself off the rock.
"So she broke up with you?" I asked, pushing myself over to the edge in front of him and letting my legs dangle over the side of the rock.
"No, I broke up with her, I didn't trust her anymore." He sniffed, and I watched as he wiped his eye. "I fucking worshipped that girl."
"I know." I agreed. "I saw how much she meant to you."
"Just like you worshipped Jack, huh?" He let out a huff. "Funny that you and I are probably the two most faithful fucking people on the planet when it comes to relationships, and ironically, it's we who get fucked over." He punched the rock beside me in his anger, making me flinch. "I'm sorry..." He apologized when he noticed he'd scared me.
"It's okay, Bri."
"Come on down from that rock, I don't like you being taller than me." He laughed, revealing that beautiful smile.

He grabbed me by my hips, and I placed my hands on his shoulders as he pulled me down like it was nothing. He set me on my feet in front of him, and I had to crane my neck up a little to look at him. He smiled down at me, and chuckled softly.

"You're still a fucking midget." He teased.
"Evaporate tall person." I teased back, poking my tongue out at him.
"Did you just fucking quote High School Musical?" He cringed.
"I find it worrying that you even know where that quote is from." I laughed.
"McKenna had her High School Musical phase." He chuckled. "Now let's never speak of this again."

The two of us walked away from the rock, down to the water's edge. I closed my eyes as the warm water washed over my feet. I'd expected it to be freezing cold, but then I remembered; this was California, and warm nights meant the Ocean was lukewarm, not fucking Arctic cold.

"I like that dress." Brian commented.
"Oh, this?" I giggled, swirling the skirt of the dress Demi had bought for me. "Yeah, Demi randomly bought it for me."
"It's very you." He smirked.

He pulled off his shoes and chucked them aside, joining me by the waters edge. His eyes looked really... beautiful in the glimmer of the moonlight. He gave me that ever-so-annoyingly-common smirk of his, and reached out and held my hand.

"Is this okay?" He asked. "I'm not trying anything." He laughed a breathy laugh. "I just miss you, Ruby."
"I miss you too." I admitted, locking my gaze with his. "And yes, it's okay, friends are allowed to hold hands." I giggled.
"Not like we have other halves to worry about getting pissed off with us for petty bullshit anymore, right?" He shrugged.
"You have a point there."
He reached out and played with a strand of my hair. "I really am digging the Red hair." He smirked. "It looks good, really good."
"Really?"
He nodded.

And then he yanked me toward him, and before I could protest, he'd thrown me over his shoulder and was running into the water. I beat his back with my fists, laughing and struggling against his firm grip. The lukewarm water washed up over my shoulders, making me shiver at the sudden impact.

"Bri!" I squeaked. "You're a dick!"
"Oh come on." He laughed, pulling me from his shoulders and bringing me in front of him. "The water's real nice tonight."
I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck.
He gave me a surprised look.
"I can't swim, Bri." I laughed. "Don't you remember?"
"Right." He chuckled. "Sorry."
"You're so not sorry." I smirked.
"No." He shook his head. "I'm really not."
"You're still a dick." I teased.
"You know you want it."
"Bri!" I exclaimed, hitting his shoulder.
"I'm kidding!" He laughed. "If I was gonna fuck anybody, it wouldn't be you, that'd be too weird."
"Thanks Bri." I spat playfully, pretending to be offended.
"You know I love you." He laughed. "Not in that way." He added quickly.
"I know, love you too, Bri." I smiled.
He pulled me closer, and I buried my face in his neck.
"You give incredible hugs though." I muttered against his skin. "And I have missed this, a lot."
"So have I." He whispered, tightening his arms around me. "Ruby?" He asked as I pulled back.
"What?"
"Can you..." He swallowed before continuing. "Can you not go home? Stay here, there's nothing for you back in Chicago anymore."
"I don't know..." I spoke, dropping my gaze down to his chest.
"You never wanted to leave in the first place, and Jack's not around anymore--"
I bit my lip.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to upset you." He spoke. "Just... Why go back to that kinda Exile? Everyone you love, and who loves you, is here in Orange County."
"Mmm." I nodded, agreeing with him.
"So stay." He breathed. "Stay here, make that guest room your own." He sighed. "Come home, Ruby."
I looked up and met his gaze, the look in his eyes was sincere. "Maybe."
"Sleep on it?" He suggested.
I nodded.
"That's enough for now." He smiled, picking away that stubborn stray hair that always stuck to my face when my hair got wet and pushing it back like he'd done before. "We should probably get back."
"Probably." I breathed. Although honestly, I didn't want to go back.

He waded out of the water, never releasing his grip on me until we were safely back on land again. My brand new dress was soaked and felt heavy from all the water, but I didn't care, it'd dry. Brian shook his wet hair to stop it from dripping all over the place, and I couldn't help but stare at him a little.

He was still wearing the same purple tank from this morning only now it was soaked, clinging to his beautifully sculpted chest. He looked over at me and smirked, his hair hanging in damp, messy waves around his face.

"You're staring." He teased.
"Fuck." I looked down in embarrassment. "Bri, you got really Buff."
"Like I said." He smirked, stepping closer to me. "It's been two years, a lot's changed." He winked flirtatiously.

And then it fucking happened again. He yanked me towards him and threw me over his shoulder, running back up the beach until we reached the bonfire, where he put me down. The others seemed to have all gone to bed, and so Brian and I kicked sand over the fire until it went out.

We walked back up to the house and ascended the stairs to the second floor, where Brian pulled two clean towels out of the linen cupboard. He flung one over his shoulders and draped the other over my head. I giggled like a child as he rubbed my scalp, drying my hair for me.

"You're so adorable." He chuckled, pinching my nose softly.
"It tickles." I smiled.
He returned the smile, ruffling my hair before going into his room to get changed.

I went into my own room next door, slipping off my drenched underwear and putting on a fresh, dry pair. I found my Skeleton Onesie and slipped back into it, and tossed the sopping wet dress into the hamper by the door. As I made up my bed, I heard a knock at the door.

"Rubez, you decent?" Brian asked.
"Yeah."

He opened the door, he'd gotten changed into a pair of black tracksuit pants, but hadn't put another shirt on. I was secretly thankful, the eye candy really was something. He laughed when he saw me.

"What?"
"That fucking Jumpsuit." He teased.
"It's a Onesie!" I snapped. "An Adult's Onesie! Why do you guys keep calling it a Jumpsuit?!"
"Because it looks like one!" He laughed, pulling the hood over my head. "Oh my god it's even got teeth on the skull hood."
"Bri." I whined. "Stop knocking it, it's so warm and comfy and I really, really love it." I pouted.
"Ruby." He chuckled. "It's cute, I don't hate it, you know I'm an asshole and I love tormenting you." He ruffled my hair. "Don't take it to heart."
"Poo-Poo Head." I said in a childish voice, poking my tongue out at him. "What'd you want, anyway?"
"It's my house, Ruby, I'll come in here if I please." He said, mockingly-sternly. "No, I was gonna ask..." He let out a huff and shook his head. "Nah, don't worry about it." He turned and went to leave.
"Bri." I said, grabbing his hand. "What?"
He sighed and spun back around. "Do you want cuddles tonight?" He quickly added; "Just to help you sleep better? So the loneliness doesn't make you cry."
My heart melted. "Bri..." I smiled tenderly. "Since when does Brian Haner Jr "Cuddle" ?"
"Shut up." He sniggered. "Do you want cuddles or not?"
"Yes." I smiled. "I would love cuddles."
He smirked, but it was a different kind of smirk to his usual, it was more of a loving smirk.

He walked over and closed the door, and flicked the light off as I tapped the touch lamp on the nightstand. He crawled across the bed and laid down, and I pulled the covers over us before leaning over and tapping the lamp twice more until it went out.

Brian pulled me close to him, and I rested my head against his firm chest. He grabbed my hand and drew the arm I wasn't laying on across his stomach, wrapping his opposite arm around my shoulders. His large hand closed around my tiny arm, and I closed my eyes and let out a sigh.

"Comfy?" He whispered.
I let out a deep sigh. "God yes..." I couldn't lie.
He chuckled. "Apparently I make a good pillow."
"Mhmm." I agreed. "Almost feels like holding onto Jack again."
At the mention of his name, Brian pulled away from me. "Why'd you bring him up?"
"Brian." I grumbled.
"I come in here to give you cuddles, and make you feel better, and not have to think about him, and you mention him." He snapped.
"Brian!" I snapped back. "If you'd let me finish..." I drew in a deep breath, and let it out before I continued. "I was going to say, holding onto you actually feels better."

I could have sworn I heard him smile in the darkness, and he shifted back over next to me, pulling me into his arms again. I rested my head upon his chest once more, as his body heat slowly seeped into my skin, warming me up. The steady beat of his heart and the sound of his breathing lulled me into a peaceful sleep...

Notes

Comments

@Ghost-On-A-Sea-Of-Wine
I totally get where you are coming from! Hopefully inspiration comes along

VIISYNS VIISYNS
8/7/21

@VIISYNS
YOU'VE READ IT FIVE TIMES???
Omg, that's amazing!! And such a compliment
THANK YOU!!
I'm sooo sorry I haven't updated it in two fucking years shiiiit
I promise I still care about this story and I really do want to finish it eventually
I reckon once the guys put a new album out my inspiration will come back

Totally understand writers block having it myself but I sure hope there's an update soon. I love this story so much...this is my 5th time reading it <3

VIISYNS VIISYNS
3/4/21

@Holly
I'm tryingggg!!
I want more as much as you do, it's my brain that's not working with me here...

PLEASE UPDATE *CRIES*
THIS IS MY FAVORITE BRIAN STORY UP HERE


Holly Holly
4/25/19