I opened my eyes to see the clock radio beside my bed read 12pm. The blockout curtains were definitely doing their job and allowing me to sleep in for a change. I crawled out of bed and drew them apart, flinching when the sunlight hit my face. My reflection caught my attention out of the corner of my eye and I turned to look at myself in the mirror; my hair was wild, tangled and matted, so I dragged a brush through my red locks before heading downstairs.

Brian looked up from the couch in front of the TV as I descended the stairs, and I tried to ignore the fact he was only wearing his black tracksuit pants and not much else. What happened in Vegas may have ended, but my attraction to him was far from gone. He leaned forward and grabbed the bowl on the coffee table, shaking it in my direction.

"I made Nachos." he smiled. "You want some?"
I cocked an eyebrow. "Nachos for breakfast?"
"It's lunchtime."
"Not for me."
"Well, you shouldn't have slept in." he smirked.
"Don't tell me how to live my life." I laughed, flopping down beside him on the couch and stealing a handful of the cheesy corn chips. "What're you watching?"
"Sin City."
"No shit?" I grinned. "One of my favourites."
"You always did have good taste in movies." he smiled. "Just not such great taste in men."
"I know." I sniggered. "You're a jerk."
"Shut up." he rolled his eyes.
"Aww, did I bruise your ego?" I teased, almost repeating a line I had said in a far more intimate situation not so long ago.
He shook his head, but didn't respond.
"So." I started, deciding to change the subject before I made things too awkward. "Where's Kenna?"
"Julia's, she stayed there last night." he said, helping himself to some more nachos.
"Damn, I was hoping she'd fix my hair for me today." I grumbled.
"It's not that bad." he noted, his eyes taking in my dark brown roots and the pink'ish tone my hair had taken on as it'd faded. "I like it."



"Well, I don't." I scowled. "It's ratchet."
"You're ratchet."

My jaw dropped open in offense, and I whacked him with one of the couch pillows. He yanked it from my grip and pinned me down, straddling me and tickling me. I struggled beneath him, laughing and trying to fight him off.

"Mercy!" I cried. "I can't breathe!"
He grabbed my wrists and pinned them down on either side of me. "Looks like I win again." he purred.

My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. The weight of his body and the smoothness of his bare skin so close to me began to stir familiar feelings down below, feelings I knew needed to be ignored. His dark eyes threatened to draw me in and I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing myself to break eye contact. I relaxed as he released me.

"Don't pick fights you know you'll lose." he chuckled, ruffling my hair.
"Fuck you, Shithead." I pouted.
"You already did." he smirked.
I rolled my eyes, and turned my attention back to the TV...

***

As I clicked over to yet another episode of The OC, Brian descended the staircase. He was dressed now; in a leather jacket over some kind of green and black paint splattered t-shirt. He ran one fingerless-glove covered hand through his hair as he glanced around the room.



"Where are you off to?" I asked as he grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter.
"Johnny's Bar."
"Can I come?"
"No." he snorted. "I'm meeting up with someone."
"And by meeting up with someone, you mean..."
He rolled his eyes. "Yes, a Girl."
"Jessica?"
"Why does it matter?" he asked. "And No."
"I'm just curious..."
"Curiosity killed the cat..." he mused, glancing down at his phone. "Anyways." he shrugged, sliding the phone into his front pocket. "I'm off."
"Do I get a hug, at least?"

He sighed, sauntering over and wrapping one arm around me, briefly, before pulling away.
I watched the door click shut behind him, and sighed, burying my face in my hands. Why did I even ask? It was none of my business where Brian went or who he was there with. I knew I was being ridiculous, but it had come out like word vomit. I was shaken from my thoughts as the doorbell rang, Brian had probably forgotten something and come back for it.

"Brian I'm sor-" I began, but it wasn't Brian who stood behind the door.
"Hey." Jason smiled, lifting a bottle of Jack Daniels. "Thought we could go on a little adventure in the park."
"You know, that doesn't sound like a half bad idea right now." I laughed. "Let me go grab a jacket and I'll be right out."
"Sure." he grinned.

***

The crackling fire was the only source of light in the pitch black night as the five of us (Myself, Johnny, Zacky, and the Berry twins) sat in the "Old Spot" in Central Park. Jason, Zacky and I were sharing a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels between us, whilst Johnny and Matt Berry shared a 40 - Which Johnny hadn't dropped and smashed, for once.

"I propose we play a game." Johnny slurred, already halfway to shitfaced. "Never Have I Ever."
"What are you, a fucking high school girl?" Zacky chuckled, taking another sip of JD, straight from the bottle.
"Oh c'mon." I smirked, pouring myself another JD and Coke, being the only one in the group who couldn't drink spirits straight. "'Never Have I Ever' can be fun."
"SHORT SHITS UNITE!" Johnny cried, holding his hand up to hi-five me, to which I obliged. "At least Ruby's on my side."
"And that's about as close as you ever got to her being on top of you." Zacky teased.
"Okay, smart-ass." Johnny snapped. "I'll start, Never Have I Ever, wanted to fuck Ruby."
"Johnny!" I protested.

Johnny drank without hesitation. Zacky, after a few moments, shrugged and took a swig. Jason and Matt Berry did nothing.

"Your turn." Johnny smirked, addressing me.
"Okay..." I thought for a moment. "Never Have I Ever wanted to fuck a member of Avenged Sevenfold." I chuckled, and took a proud swig from the plastic cup in my hand; there was no point denying that I hadn't always been attracted to the guys in some way.
Zacky took a swig from his bottle, making me snort with laughter.
"What?" he grinned. "A younger, very sexually-confused version of myself found Gates attractive."
"And he's not attractive now?" I pried.
"Oh, he's attractive." Zacky admitted. "And he knows it, too. But no." He shook his head. "I'm not into Dick."
"But Ruby is VERY into Dick." Johnny smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"And Johnny's gonna lose his dick if he doesn't shut the fuck up." I warned him.
"So feisty." he teased.
"Shut it, Gnomeo." I snapped.
"Okay." Matt cleared his throat. "Never have I ever, had a crush on someone in the Avenged Sevenfold family, but been to shy to tell them."

Johnny and Jason drank.

"Okay, who?" I asked Jason.

I knew Johnny had wanted me once upon a time, and obviously had a thing for McKenna if he was dating her now. But Jason had always been quite private and kept his feelings internalized.

Jason hesitated for a moment. "It doesn't matter." he sighed, running a hand through his long brown hair.
"Okay, this is just turning into who wants to fuck who, now." Johnny laughed, throwing a twig into the fire. "I guess you're right, Vengeance; it is a game for high school girls."
"How about we wind back a few more years, then?" Matt spoke up. "Hide and Seek?"
"Seriously?" I cringed.
"Oh c'mon." he laughed. "What, you afraid of the dark?"
"No." I defended.
"Then there's no problem." he said, standing up and dusting the dirt off his jeans. "You fuckers hide, I'll seek, go!" he turned his back to us and began to count.

The rest of us scrambled to our feet. Zacky and Johnny bolted off in opposite directions, and Jason grabbed my hand, pulling me through the trees. I followed his path until the trees parted and we emerged into a clearing. The ground sank down in multiple tiers in front of us, and wooden benches lined each level. At the very bottom, stood a wooden stage; the Central Park Amphitheater. Jason and I climbed down to the lowest level, out of the light of the glowing moon overhead, to a bench cast in shadow.



"Okay..." Jason breathed. "I may as well come clean."
"Huh?"
"About the whole thing during Never Have I Ever, when Matt asked if we'd ever had a crush on someone in the Avenged Sevenfold family, but were too shy to tell them."
"You have a crush on someone?" I asked.
He turned to me, his face was cast in shadows, but the moonlight still reflected in his eyes. "I have had for quite some time... but the timing wasn't right... I'm still not quite sure the timing's right..." he trailed off.
"Why don't you find out?"
"I'm scared."
"Big, tough, Jason Berry's afraid of rejection?" I giggled.

Jason shut me up quickly, suddenly grasping my face in both hands and pulling me towards him. He placed one small, gentle peck upon my lips, and did no more as he awaited my reaction. Licking over my lips, my hands slid around his neck and I drew him back in. The kiss was gentle, his lips lightly brushing against mine, and I felt a sense of ease wash over me.

It remained that way for a short while, until Jason grew a little more courageous and pulled me closer, pressing his lips against mine a little harder. I placed my hands on his shoulders and pushed myself up into his lap. One of his hands buried itself in my hair, and he gently trailed his fingers along my hip, exposed a little where my jeans had slipped.

We parted for a moment and he stared up into my eyes, before pulling me back in. His tongue glided over my lips and into my mouth, capturing my tongue with his own. I breathed in and exhaled deeply through my nose as our tongues began to tease one another, and Jason's hand left my hair and slid beneath my shirt. I quietly moaned against his mouth as I felt his thumb trail beneath the hemline of my jeans, before withdrawing and traveling up to my waist.

His lips left mine and trailed down my jaw as he caressed my waist with his strong hands. I moaned softly, tilting my head back and closing my eyes as he began to suck on my neck. I felt his lips part and he bit me gently, making my eyes snap open.

"Jason." I said suddenly, pulling away and sitting back down beside him.
"I'm sorry." he apologized.
"No, you were perfect." I sighed.
"Then what's the problem?"
"I am."
"It's not you, it's me, right?" he laughed, but there was no humor to his tone.
"It is Me." I confirmed. "You're sweet, you are, honestly."
"But?"
"But, I'm not sure if I would be doing this for the right reasons..." I thought out loud. "I'm lonely, you're here..."
"Always just temporary comfort until the real thing comes along..." he scoffed.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I retaliated, a tad annoyed.

"PEEK-A-BOO! I SEE YOU!" came Matt Berry's voice, bringing an abrupt end to our conversation. "Thought you were clever hiding all the way down here, but I heard you two talking." he chuckled.

Jason glared at me for one long moment before getting to his feet, following his brother back the way we'd come...

***

Jason had driven me home almost as soon as we'd met back up with the others, claiming to be tired and that he could feel an early hangover coming on. He didn't say a word to me on the drive back to Brian's, not even when he pulled into the driveway and stopped the car. I sighed and got out, sauntering up to the front door as he reversed the car and drove off into the night.

I unlocked the front door and let myself inside. The lights were off, but for the one standing lamp post beside the couch in front of the TV. Brian was on the couch, a redhead in his lap, his hands buried in her ginger hair and her leather corset hanging halfway off her as he nibbled at her nipple.



"Classy, Brian." I interrupted.
"Welcome home." he chuckled.
"Lucky it's me, and not McKenna." I scowled, dropping my keys on the counter.
"She's out for the night." he mumbled, seeming un-phased as he nibbled his way up the stranger's neck. "Staying at Julia's again."
"And so that makes it okay to allow me to walk in on a vomit-inducing sight?"
"Jeezus." he retaliated. "If it's that much of a fucking problem..." he made to lift her out of his lap.
"No, you just go right ahead, keep doing what you were doing, I'll get out of your hair." I snapped, making my way over to the stairs and up to the second floor.

I slammed my bedroom door behind me and stripped off the clothes I'd worn to the park with the guys, and changed back into the skeleton onesie. It was beginning to smell a little from me sweating in my sleep, but I was far too pissed off and tired to care too much about that right now. I'd wash it tomorrow, maybe.

I set my clock radio to play music from my iPod, and selected Bullet For My Valentine from my iTunes library; standard for my pissed off moods. As Cries In Vain filled the room, I poured a good helping of Jack Daniels into the Coke bottle I still had in my bag, which was now 3/4 of the way empty. I took a deep swig and flopped back on my bed, staring up at the roof.

I was right back to fucking square one. Fucked up and alone. Unable to let anyone get close because they weren't the one I wanted to be close to. Now one friend was fucked off at me, and my very best friend was downstairs ravaging some random fucking hoe who looked like me, but wasn't me. I had told myself I wouldn't care. But I cared. Boy, did I care...

Notes

Drama, Drama, Drama

Johnny fucking Christ, I cannot tell you guys how sorry I am for keeping you waiting so goddamn long for an update. I've added Cries In Vain to the story's Soundtrack and I'm gonna try real fuckin' hard not to keep ya'll hanging again. Life got hectic, I'm back to job searching now, which means having to go hand out resumes, on top of volunteer work twice a week, on top of making time to do my online course, on top of the fact I now have a Kitty!

Meet Rogue!!
- Named after Rogue in X-Men



I'm also trying to write a Novel, based on a concept I used in an MCR fanfic many, many years ago. Same story, totally re-written, names and certain details changed. It's a work in progress, but if you'd like to read the story so far:
https://www.wattpad.com/story/107474896-sing-me-to-sleep

Until next time!! xx