Broken Arrow

I was surprised that being on my own again had come as such a shock to me. I had been cast aside and replaced my whole life, so it wasn't like it was anything new. But I guess that's what it's like when you truly fall in love for the first time, give your whole heart, soul, and being to a person. You become so attached to someone, that loving them suddenly becomes second nature to you, like breathing.

That's how it was when I met Jack Saint. The whole world just melted away and everything I used to do, everything that I should have paid attention to; didn't matter anymore. All that mattered was him. The sun shone three times brighter and I was three times more happy.

Nowadays, I felt like Bella Swan. I'd lay in bed day after day, replaying every happy memory, every kiss, every touch, every laugh, every smile, every time we made love, unable to stop the tears that would inevitably begin to fall at over-thinking everything.

I worried for my mental health. I was becoming more and more withdrawn from society. I didn't talk much anymore and if ever there were a time that I didn't speak to somebody through Facebook inbox, Skype or Tumblr messages, I found I'd speak very robotically, often gasping for air every few words, as if I'd forgotten how to talk and breathe at the same time.

I'd whine on and on, cry all night, constantly thinking about Jack. I knew he wasn't coming back but I couldn't numb the ache in my heart at the loss of his presence. The few people I had around me were trying to encourage me to get back up on the dating horse; but I just couldn't do it. Even though I longed for human contact, I couldn't bring myself to listen to those who told me to just go out and find a one night stand every once in awhile.

Sex was sacred to me; I wasn't waiting until marriage to be intimate with somebody, but I was waiting for the right person, and I found him, or so I thought. When I gave myself up to Jack, it was out of love, not lust. I was three months off turning Eighteen; my goal age for keeping my virginity in tact. Well, I almost made it. But I didn't regret it, Jack was the right person, at the time.

He was one year older than me, and it seemed as though he was manifested from my very own personal idea of the perfect man. The perfect man for me was tall and strong with long, dark hair. He'd have to be a musician, and live a life that revolved around Rock 'n' Roll. He needed intelligence, far above the norm. I wasn't the brightest spark myself, but I found intelligence very sexy. I preferred men who came off as rough and tough, but who had a softer, gentler side when they were away from the public eye. Confidence was a big turn on too.

Jack was all of the above. Six feet tall, with the most mesmerizing Hazel eyes and beautiful long brown hair down to his shoulders. An incredible smile that was highly contagious, smooth, soft lips and a strong, defined jaw line. He was broad shouldered and muscular, and had two tattoo's on either shoulder blade on his back. One of a normal skull, the other of a skull with bloodshot eyes and a crack in it's head. He said they represented his good and bad side. I still remember to this day the texture of his scarred skin as I traced over the outlines of his tattoos while he slept.

He was a Metal Head, and could release some of the most incredible death screams I had ever heard. His normal singing voice was low, seductive and sent chills down my spine. I still remember how he'd serenade me; laying beside me in our bed, running his hands through my hair and tracing my jaw line as he sang to me. I'd felt like the luckiest girl in the world and felt like my dreams had come true.

I was oblivious to the fact that dream would soon become a nightmare.

I went out of my way to do every little thing I could to help him out. I'd feed him, I'd take care of him when he was sick, I'd float him money when he needed it, and I accepted his lifestyle; he'd been a party boy and would frequently use drugs recreationally.

Though as time went on Jack became over-bearing and over-protective, paranoid, and controlling. He hated my five closest friends; Brian, Jimmy, Zacky, Johnny and Matt. He was highly uncomfortable with how strong a bond I had with the boys, and would frequently hint that he thought I was sleeping with them.

There hit a point where I barely ever saw the boys anymore, to avoid having to deal with Jack's bullshit. When Jack found an ad online for a Heavy Metal band that was looking for a singer, he gave me an Ultimatum; Move away to Chicago with him, or stay in Huntington Beach with the boys, and lose him.

I foolishly chose the first option, and left behind everyone, and everything I had ever known. It was the price I decided to pay for love. Jack meant everything to me, and even though it broke my heart to leave home, and my best friends, I made that sacrifice for him.

Little did I know, it would all go down in vain, when one stupid misunderstanding tore apart the relationship I had fought to keep solid for a year and half...

Notes